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Joined: 5/10/2005
Msg: 151
How do you stop loving someone?Page 7 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Honestly, you never do. No matter what goes wrong in the relationship, you will continue to love that person. For me, I always knew that person was the one for me. Eventhough the relationship never worked out, I still love them to this day. If they say they don't love you anymore, they never loved in the first place.
Joined: 6/1/2005
Msg: 152
How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 6/7/2005 6:11:36 PM
I agree. You don't choose to love someone, you just do or don't. I've been in love twice, one died in a car accident, one died from chemotherapy (the doctors claim it was the cancer, but Please!!)...Anyway, these events happened almost 20 years apart. I will always love them both---time does not heal wounds, only makes you numb. The funny part is that people will tell me that "you make your own luck"...Ha,ha,ha, I might be the only person I know who knows different.....
Joined: 6/1/2005
Msg: 153
How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 6/7/2005 8:25:07 PM
Life has so many routes and detours.
Yes we knew shit happens all the time.
When it does, all you need to do is get back on your feet,
dust yourself, move along. It's hard...but it's worth the struggle.
I always learned the hard way...
I learned that..
That no matter how hard you try to make it work,
sometimes it's better to let go.
That you can't please everybody, there's just no pleasing some people.
That sometimes, you need to be shattered for you to become whole.
That pain is always part of the bargain, it's what makes us human after all.
That when you love somebody, it's no good unless you love them all the way.
Yes, all the way, Mike.
That there are worse things in life.
That despite the fact that life sucks and love stinks,
it's still good to live and to love.

Joined: 4/25/2005
Msg: 154
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How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 6/8/2005 6:36:05 PM
the same thing happened to me, after 25 yrs, son 21 and son 23, he said i just don;t do it for him anymore, and walked out the door and never came back either
i am finally divorcing him, in two weeks,
i still think about him everyday, it never goes away, i hope it does soon
he doesn;t even bother with our boys, he walked out sept 04 and has never been in touch with any of us
i hope it gets easier for me
Joined: 3/24/2005
Msg: 155
How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 6/8/2005 7:47:13 PM
A very good question.

A while ago, I broke up with my long-term girlfriend that I know I am still in love with but as someone else pointed out in this thread somewhere along the line all that love and passion turns to anger. I was very angry with her as the last time we spoke did not go well. Things were said that I don't think can be unsaid on both sides.

But I just remember the person I fell in love with, and that's who I choose to remember and that's who I love. The person she became (and I guess, the person I became to her) is not the one I fell in love with.

I'm not angry anymore and I smile to myself when I remember all the things that made her wonderful and special to me. She truly was a beautiful human being.

I think that's the most important part of moving on: You will miss them but ultimately you carry with you all the things that was so great about them into the next relationship you get into with another person. You shouldn't stop loving them, even if they say that they no longer love you (which happened to me as well) because carrying that love with you is more important than carrying the hurt.

Pay it forward, good luck Brother.
Joined: 4/1/2005
Msg: 156
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How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 6/8/2005 8:38:15 PM
I think you said it perfectly Moonglow....I was very bitter, angry, sad, and all other sorts of fun things for a period of time after a break up of mine....but I let go and let god. Now I look back and have some very good memories, and cherish all the wonderful things I have learned. I do not dwell on the negative....because negatives are all our own creations.
Joined: 7/14/2005
Msg: 157
How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 11/18/2006 9:00:15 AM
Dear Rick Schroeder,

I have no pity for you in this situation. You failed to mention so many things in this note. Like when she poisoned you with drugs and left you for dead and in a mental hospital for 3 days without contact. (but he loves her still) How she wouldn't let you see your son and most of all how she controlled your every move throughout your whole entire marriage, yelled, screamed and put you down everyday. Poor man accepted being all alone on every holiday because her family hated him, he sat alone in his home eating pretzels. The family is as mean and nuts as she is. Last Christmas she called the cops on him because we were 20 minutes late returning the boy home from Christmas dinner. He is now back in that situation. Pathetic isn't it? It is a shame that you were never a real man in the first place. This woman never loved you, if she did she would not want to control you or hurt you. The best part of this story is that Rick went Back to her. Actually, he ran back to a bad marriage and a child who could care less about him due to being brainwashed by his wife. A very sad story indeed. This is what happens when people have no self worth, self confidence, they believe they deserve to be treated badly and abused by their spouse. This man living the life of a puppy as he always did, being bossed around and miserable. How sane can a person be if they return to a spouse who tried to kill them? I am the person Rick met on Plenty of fish and seriously dated for 6 months. One day better than the other, the best relationship I ever had. I stood by him when she would scream, abuse and not let him see his kid, through court dates, trying to ease his pain when he was constantly crying over his son. He walked out on me in January of 2006 without a word because he decided he wanted more abuse and returned to his wife. One night he just didn't show here. That was it. I was devastated but realized a real man does not act that way. They communicate. They don't disappear. The best part of it was I met someone soon after and am about to Marry. In this case, I wound up being the lucky one, I met a MAN who really loves me and would do anything for me and we respect each other and treat each other kindly. His future will be nothing but heartache and loneliness. This is all much deserved.

Joined: 8/8/2006
Msg: 158
How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 11/18/2006 1:50:17 PM dont stop loving someone, you just learn to love them in a different way. Dont ever forget the good times but rather just try to put them on the back burner until your emotions and heart catch up with your head. Trying too hard seems to bring back the hurt and the lonliness. A broken heart is hard enough to deal with and then when you mix in the feelings of confusion and seems like its a big mess. The five stages of grieving arent always in the same order and there is no time limit either. Everyone grieves at a different pace. You will be ok just focus on your girl...and remember she doesnt hate you ...she probably still loves you but sometimes seems to get in the way...try to move forward and make yourself all you can be. You never know what the future has in store for you --everything happens for a reason that we dont always understand. Accept the challenge as an opportunity to grow and find your own happiness.
Joined: 9/17/2006
Msg: 159
How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 11/18/2006 7:43:00 PM
I do not have the answers for you. I do, however, truly wish I knew a person like you. I am not hitting on you or anything like that. I just feel sometimes like I am the only one feeling sad and wondering why my marriage ended. It would be nice to have a friend to talk to who understands what life is like when after many years with someone - suddenly life changes. Coping on a daily basis is difficult and I wish we knew each other - just to get through the days. Just to have another who understands the struggle.

I am not as far as you are on my divorce. Anyways - so far here is what I have learned about moving on. Do the best you can to FILL your schedule. Keep busy and focus on you !
Take extra time to cook for yourself. Get plenty of sleep. Do anything that makes you feel good. Even the small things help. Surround yourself with friend and family. Do whatever you can to make new friends and meet people. This will give you hope for the future. So - if so inclined - please drop me a line. I'm a good listener....
Joined: 1/31/2005
Msg: 160
How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 11/12/2007 6:14:40 PM
I have to report that there is light at the end of the tunnel. I knew there would be- I just didn't really believe it. Three years now and life is getting a bit easier. I still miss what we had- but like so many have said in earlier replies, time really does mute the pain.

That said, I am confident our broken veteran will be healed in time. Godspeed.

On a side note: There are many many ways to keep promises. Just because you two are not together does not mean you have failed. It just means your not together. You are still friends, I trust. Take care of her in a way she will accept. Your a good man- you have my utmost respect, and I wish you the best!
Joined: 8/17/2004
Msg: 161
How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 5/8/2008 12:45:30 AM
Iam sorry i was with someone I totally adored it been 2 years since then and to tell you . that I try Not to think about it . that was the worst feeling in the world I felt that my heart was ripped out and stomped on ! I started to go out to clubs having friends over to ease the pain. and later it still hurt me so much . i Talk to him when he call and even if he was a jerk I let him it was like i was in a trance were if he told me to jump i would say how high and do . but thank god i iam so over that part of my sorrow! I LOved so hard and didn't it really affected my life i felt like Nothing could help me I started drinking and for a bit i couldn't stop . I feel you can't stop loving them but you can always move on you'll always care but you always walk away
Joined: 8/17/2004
Msg: 162
How do you stop loving someone?
Posted: 5/8/2008 12:56:29 AM
Not AT all Easy ! but i think you can stop loving someone by letting go
nO talking keep your self busy . take care of what you have to and walk away it hurt but it works do things for you not for anyone else.
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