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 that sam i am
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 680
Dating Someone On WelfarePage 20 of 33    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33)

perhaps it is only a temporary financial situation...she can better herself and gain a good job etc.....

Since it is only temporary, she can forget about dating for the while, focus on getting her better job and improving her situation before getting back into the dating pool.

Besides, why date a person on welfare when there are so many other people out there NOT on welfare?
 that sam i am
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 687
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 2/25/2008 12:20:57 AM

you may well have passed on the "one" for you because he/she is at a stage in their life where they need some help.

This is DATING, not CHARITY. I'm fine with charity if it's for a good cause. Friends on welfare because they're at a stage in their lives where they need some help ~ that's fine. If they're there to mooch the system, they're only going to pull you down if you get too close. I would not date a single parent because her lifestyle would not gel with mine.

I have dated women who've had no money because they're in school or doing something noble as working with Americorps. That itself is tough because of the financial inequality ~ she refused to let me pay more than my fair share and so often we couldn't do stuff because she had no money. Why date her then? I understood that she was sacrificing her financial wealth to do something noble as helping others first.

Any guy who makes a decent amount of money would have difficulty dating a woman on welfare because he's gonna either see her as a mooch or she's gonna feel lousy that she can't pull her weight in the relationship.

So, if she's on welfare and has kids, she definitely isn't the one.
 gucci8
Joined: 11/18/2005
Msg: 688
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History
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 2/25/2008 2:19:50 AM
yes Rose!!! Does Designer Clothes , Nails , pedicure and cell phones count..yust wondering..
 Yuckmowth
Joined: 7/16/2007
Msg: 689
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 2/25/2008 2:53:16 AM
I did once, but the chances are low that I would again. I felt more like a father then a boyfriend, because I found myself giving guidance and advise, none of which I got back. I think it was more of an education thing for me. Because we couldn't share ideas I started to feel unfulfilled.
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 694
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History
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 9/8/2008 1:12:18 PM
I raised two children on my own with no government assistance but I have a very ambitious nature...maybe she doesn't.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 696
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History
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 10/13/2008 10:26:15 AM
If I am that mother who is on social welfare, my primary focus are my two children as a father and mother to them , and myself to get out of social welfare. I will get education to better myself and get out of this poverty that I am in right now. It is a fact that if my situation in life is down, the kind of man I get is worst than me.
 oddandy
Joined: 3/5/2008
Msg: 700
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 10/16/2008 11:27:55 AM

I also wonder what possesses anyone to have children KNOWING full-well that thier current home & economic/financial environment is much less than ideal.

If you can't afford to take care of yourself, etc, DO NOT have children!!


Why not? We've been taught as a society that the government will step in and pick up the slack for you.
 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 709
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 10/28/2008 7:34:12 AM
I would not date anyone in this situation for a few reasons. If I can work my ass off, go to College and pay my own way in life, why can't others? It is not MY FAULT people have kids and can not afford them. Maybe if more people would use birth control, or think about the consequesces of having children, this situation would not be so bad. Maybe it is hard raising a child, it is also hard working my ass off knowing people are out there who are capable of working and don't. It is not just because I do not have kids that I am saying this. I chose not to have them for this reason. I was in a rocky marriage and felt it was in my best interest NOT to become dependant of "the system" and live off of others. I can deal with people getting "some" help, but there should be more limits. And people become VERY dependant on Welfare. ESPECIALLY the amount of unmarried people who keep having MORE kids. Fine, you do it once, but 2, 3, 4 or more times? Get a life. And quit depending off others. If people are on welfare for other reasons than chilren, I hope they are good reasons. Legitimate ones.
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 719
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History
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 10/29/2008 6:22:14 PM
I have avoided posting on this thread for a very long time as it elicits very strong emotions in me. I am a single mother of 2 children. I didn't create them on my own, and I was with their father for 8 years. And yes, they both have the SAME father.

I have been on my own for 2 years now. When I left, I left EVERYTHING behind except my kids, and our clothing. I had to, and no, I will not go into the reasons why here.

We started from scratch. And yes, I gratefully accepted help from the government to help me get back on my feet. And goddammit, it was HARD!!

I laugh when I see posts that say things like "living off the government" or "abusing the system". After the rent was paid, the power and gas bills, I had roughly $247 to live on for the rest of the month. WOO HOO, let's party!!

Give me a break. I sincerely hope that those of you who look down upon those of us who abused your tax money for our own personal gain (snickers derisively) never make a mistake and have to ask for help.

Oh, and for the record, I now work full time, receive absolutely no help from either the government or my kids Dad, and barely see my kids. But hey, I'm showing ambition, right?

 Darxman
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 728
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 10/30/2008 6:42:23 PM
My first question would be.."What is your game plan for getting out of the situation?" Focusing on how you go there or blaming someone else doesnt fix anything.
 moneyforyou
Joined: 1/26/2009
Msg: 761
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 2/3/2009 8:05:48 AM
yes, please! i love these women because they love me more, maybe they are a little dependent on me?
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 770
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History
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 7/15/2009 8:19:45 AM
I haven't read the whole 32 pages, so if I'm repeating anything...sorry.

A few years ago, I was sick, and being paid through a Long Term Insurance plan that I had with my former employer.

I didn't get my cheque one month, and phoned the Insurance company to inquire. I had been cut off....NO NOTICE.

I had no alternative but to go on Welfare. (I sued the Insurance Company, and won, but that took three years) I think I was on Welfare for about 4 months. My income was cut down to 1/3 of what it had been....it WASN'T GOOD. I don't recommend it!

Welfare (in Ontario anyway) is being re-geared toward employment. Even for single Mom's. The idea is, that once you have the extra money, you'll want more extra money, so, you'll work harder, and longer.....etc. Some Employment Programs are mandatory (for single people anyway)....attend, or get cut off.

They will pay for schooling in alot of cases, to make the receipient more employable.

They are much more geared to getting people off the "system", even if it takes a couple of years, than they were in the past.

Would I date someone on welfare.....you betcha. They may not have had a decent meal in weeks!
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 775
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History
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 8/1/2009 11:22:19 AM

My goal is to be the best I can possibly be in life, and strive for 100% perfection.



From your profile, jacob808.....hmmmmm, good luck with that. You might want to MODIFY your thinking.....in a few areas.
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 777
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History
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 8/1/2009 11:31:56 AM

^^^Umm who's comment are you quoting? cause that sures aint mine. confused are we?

BTW I dont need any luck, whatever you referring to, but thanks for being concerned.

I really hope I didnt hit a nerve with that one statement. that would be ashame..LOL


The quote was from your profile....I'm not confused in the least.

The luck is what you are going to need if you want to be 100% perfect. Won't happen.

Shit happens in life.....to everyone.....even you.
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 778
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Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 8/1/2009 2:19:47 PM
The best way to keep single mom's off welfare......don't make them single mom's in the first place.

WHEN you find a lady, put some effort into not becoming a dad. Your hard work will pay off there....for sure.
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 780
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History
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 8/6/2009 10:14:58 AM

^^Just so you know, it takes two to tangle


It may take two to tangle, but it only takes one to drop the ball (sorry) and make a single mom.

I DON'T believe everything I read on other's profiles....I think that was the point. Just sayin'
 catman50
Joined: 9/9/2008
Msg: 783
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 8/6/2009 12:04:57 PM
I would DATE a single mom on welfare . WHY ? very simple . because THEY KNOW what life is like . single moms who have very little money know , money is hard to get . ALL those who put people down for being on welfare . STOP AND THINK . Did the man who made the kid still around ? Why ? do so many say " oh that person is on welfare . loser " . the biggest loser is in washington . there is two types of welfare . the ones we get . and then you have corprate welfare . YOU are paying corprate welfare . with bailing out banks and " cash for clunkers . " congress and Obama are ALL the ones who caused " corprate welfare . " that right . WAIT til you come home and EVERYTHING you worked for is gone . you come home to empty house . BY the time ALL this happens it's too late .
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 784
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Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 8/6/2009 4:18:05 PM

You know I have been in both situations, in my life. When I was younger with young children in the home, I had no other choice. If I worked then they did not provide with food stamps/ extra income, or medical like they do today. Then it was either work and hope and pray you could pay the bills in a single person household. And ask relative who did not need the money to watch your kids while you worked.


Keep in mind, that had you been a MAN, supporting a family, you would have made a much larger wage, than a woman in the same situation........
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 786
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Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 8/6/2009 6:23:55 PM

^^^I'm not sure I understand your comment. Are you saying that a man would earn a larger wage than a woman? That isn't always true, you know. I've earned more than almost every guy I've dated. I'm a single mom. Just wanted to point out that plenty of single moms make good salaries. Not all are struggling.


I'm referring to VeryMatureWoman's post.

A man earning a larger wage than a woman was much more common during the time period that Very Mature Woman is referring to.
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 791
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Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 8/7/2009 9:42:39 AM

^^Well it all comes down her decision and her choice, whether she chooses to stay with him or not. Of course lets just say that if he ****s up,or cheat on her, then he's definitely pushing her to that breaking point. But no matter wht, she still has the last say.


He beats the crap out of her, she gets scared, and she decides to take the child and leave.

She has no money, no transportation, and her family and friends all live far away. Now what?
 Quazi 100
Joined: 3/2/2008
Msg: 792
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Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 8/7/2009 7:56:39 PM
^^^Well thats her f*ckin problem and her tough shit then. Of course she still has that choice of staying with him and trying to work things out, thru counseling, therapy, or whatevers. But of course her taking the kid with her is nothing new, cause most mommys in situations like that would probably do the same thing too.



How about going to councelling before he beat the crap out of her.

And if it were me, I wouldn't want to leave my child with an abusive man.....


 jacob8088
Joined: 9/6/2009
Msg: 793
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 9/20/2009 12:54:42 PM
^^^Yeah he can try going to councelling, bt if he's a really violent guy, good luck with that one.


OP, speaking for myself, I would never date a single mom on welfare abusing the system.Hell fr*ckin no.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 795
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Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 9/20/2009 5:22:27 PM

I would never date a single mom on welfare abusing the system.Hell fr*ckin no.


not everyone who has accepted help from the government is abusing it. I'm not ashamed to say I've gotten help. I made 1500-2000 a week, then the hospital called and said my ex had my son and was sent back to jail. So with a two day old baby that can't go to daycare till two months when he gets his shot. How was I to work?I got help till I was able to go back to work. And still recieve medicaid for the kids. Does that make me a loser too? I've paid taxes for almost 30 years and think if I need some help to get back on my feet I deserve it. Oh, I also am eligable for WIC does that make me a loser too?
 jacob8088
Joined: 9/6/2009
Msg: 796
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 9/20/2009 5:32:41 PM
^^^Well of course you gotta do what you gotta do to survive right? I agree, nothing to be ashamed of. You don't need to explain no more.

BTW I never said everyone of them is abusing the system, just so you know.
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 797
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Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 9/20/2009 5:38:01 PM
Thats ok, I did feel like a loser in the begining but it is all about what you have to do for the kids, peace
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