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 catman40
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 438
Dating Someone On Welfare Page 4 of 33    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33)
Here is the thing . anyone that says people on welfare are bums or lazy . chew on this . 3million people out of work . lay offs are happening in every state . your making the same as them . on welfare . get married , you lose it . make over a certin amount lose it . The ones getting rich are congressmen . they don't care what happens . china does not care either .
 tinyelfmomma
Joined: 11/23/2005
Msg: 440
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Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 5/29/2006 12:35:46 PM
Ok, I have a question for all of you out there that think it's SOOOO bad for anyone to get on the system. What would you do if you worked at the same job for 14 years, then one day, your boss dropped the bomb on you that your job was being eliminated, and you were going to be unemployed. Add on top of that the fact that you have three small kids to raise and tons of bills to pay. What would YOU do? Well, that's exactly what just happened to me. After 14 long years of loyalty, I was told that I would no longer have a job, but that he really appreciated my hard work and loyalty for all those years. Well, that doesn't feed my grandkids, pay the rent or bills, now does it? And for all you cynics who want to say, go out and find another job, well, I have!!! I have sent out over 100 resumes, applied in person and online, and keep hitting brick walls every where I go. It's like nobody wants to hire a 50 year old woman any more. They want these young bimbos! So, there. Like I said, what else is a person to do? All you jerks can just get over it if you have a problem with dating someone on welfare!
 tinyelfmomma
Joined: 11/23/2005
Msg: 445
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Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 6/5/2006 2:53:03 PM
OMG! When did this turn into a political rant and rave forum? Come on, guys, stick to the subject, please. You don't like the president or the country or whatever, fine. Find another forum to voice that on. This one is about dating someone on welfare. Get back on track.
 Splinter
Joined: 1/6/2006
Msg: 449
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Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 6/7/2006 5:10:34 AM
I wouldn't date someone who is on social services.
 tinyelfmomma
Joined: 11/23/2005
Msg: 455
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Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 6/8/2006 9:41:05 PM
splinter: why don't you elaborate a little bit? Why NOT date someone on social services? Afraid it would interfere with your lifestyle or what? We are, after all, only human, too, just like you. I've been lucky in that the guys that I've dated haven't had a problem with the fact that I have to have a little assistance from the government to help me take care of my grandchildren. But for someone to just say "No, I wouldn't date someone simply because they're on welfare" is just a cop out as far as I'm concerned. Same thing as being prejudiced, no difference.
 tinyelfmomma
Joined: 11/23/2005
Msg: 476
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Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 6/16/2006 8:32:34 PM
jimmysmash, you are just so out of it. Like the others said, free internet is everywhere. As far as for having a computer, could be like me. The one I have was actually built for me by a friend of my kids from one that had been scrapped. He just got a few parts and put the sucker back together, got it up and running, and gave it to me. Yeah, it's EXTREMELY slow, but it was FREE so I don't gripe. My internet? Also free (cds everywhere that you can use til the time runs out, then just get another one!). And besides, it's a good way to look for a job, especially when you don't have a car, like me. That's how I found my new job. Yeah, I'm on "the system". Not from choice, but from necessity. I have temporary (notice I said temporary) custody of my three granddaughters, and yes, I had a job when I got the kids. I was on the same job for 14 years, but what good did it do me? I was let go the end of May, and had to find another. But even with the salary I was making, it was not enough to care for my three darlings, so I had no choice but to ask for assistance. I did get Medicaid for the girls, but I was only granted a whole whopping $14 a month to feed them! Now, you tell me, how much food can you buy for a lousy $14? Dang sure not enough for a month!! Re-budgeting for food for three when I was used to budgeting for one really put a hell of a dent in my paychecks. I cannot get TANF (what used to be called welfare checks) because (1) I had a job; and (2) I would not agree to sick the attorney general on my granddaughters' parents for child support. Why? The attorney general's office is just a big laugh. They only SAY they go after deadbeat parents! HA!! I have an ex husband who owes me over $80,000 in back child suppport, but even though I opened a case with them, they won't do squat to him. But that's another forum. The whole point is, it doesn't matter if you are or are not on public assistance, it doesn't have a doggone thing to do with being able to get on the net! And I still say all of you out there who say they would NEVER date someone on public assistance should have to be there at least ONCE in your life; maybe it would change your bigoted perspective!!!
 sammyle
Joined: 5/8/2005
Msg: 491
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 9/19/2006 10:47:04 PM
Working in a field where social services is vital to treatment (medicaid) I am some what familiar with the regulations;which appears to change just about every year for the worst. My point is...that although it might be beneficial for the people who need it, the laws have changed to where you can only be on social service for a limited amount of time, single is three years, and parents with children is five, and unless you have an illness (mental) social services will immediately gear the person towards employment.
Now! Even though she would benefit from the childcare, medical and food stamps, there is very little else to benefit from., because of the little amount of money they give you for rent, you'd never be able to find a decent or safe apartment (environment) to raise your kids. Even though you will be home to see your kids grow up, but you will never be able to buy them any thing of value because social services doesn't give you much.
I personally would rather work hard and see my kids when I can so that I can adequately provide for them, than to see them all the time and provide less for them. You get the very basic on social services, no more!
Social services provides a very very important function in society and it is diffidently needed; however, it shouldn't be a choice, it is suppose be to a last resort.
Now!!! Would I date someone on social service? Probably yes, because the last time I check, social service was not an indication of the lack of substance to one's character just as with wealth not being an indication of one's character. Actually; I know several wealthy women that I wouldn't marry in a million years lol lol.
 mrromantic66
Joined: 8/31/2006
Msg: 510
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 9/22/2006 1:54:10 AM
we date people for the inside not the outside.i would and have dated women on welfare.it sucks that people are judged for what they dont have instead of what they do have.these women that get child support and dont have to work.no one judges them.its about the person.its easier to love someone when things are easy then when things get tough.i seen things diffrent i ask my self what if it was me.now it is me.i live in very odd situation and i have found 75%of the women i have talked to on here are shallow.people cant always help the things that happen.its the ones that can that.
 A_Country_Gent
Joined: 9/4/2006
Msg: 511
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 9/22/2006 2:13:16 AM
I'm not a Nazi . . .

However, you have to admit Adolf Hitler made a good point about people who don't want to work and abuse their government.

Have them all "fixed" so they can't give birth to any more "no good for nothing" types. Eventually, the users & abusers will die out leaving only the willing and capable.

The money saved is in the BILLIONS!!!!

My vote . . . Fix all welfare recipients. When they can prove beyond reasonable doubt they will get an education and stay employed. Reverse the procedure.

Lars C. The Ph.D.

"WHAT WE DO FOR OURSELVES DIES WITH US. WHAT WE DO FOR OTHERS AND THE WORLD
REMAINS AND IS IMMORTAL."

~ ~ Albert Pine
 Love Me 4 Me L
Joined: 4/10/2006
Msg: 520
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Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 9/22/2006 7:18:58 AM
For her being a single mother, and putting forth an efford to work. I would date her for that fact. Why? Because she trying to better her life. She's at the bottom, and now she can only go up from their. So yes I would date her. Tell her to bring it on!
 LoonyTunz
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 551
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Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 9/23/2006 6:41:54 PM
I can't speak for everyone else, but for me the question would be is this a "career welfare mom" or someone having a rough spot and requiring some social assistance to regain her feet?

I don't regret a single tax dollar i spend that helps someone in genuine need out at all, I do however despise the chronic welfare abuse I've witnessed (like 2 wellie-mom's discussing that they can get more $$$ if the kids they spit out have different fathers, ffs these are little people they are talking about not a damned paycheque)

Even when laid-off for a year I chose not to seek social assistance and never asked to reduce my support payments for my kids, my only regret that I don't have more to offer them.

For the record you have completely missed the "men's rights" sorry but if you claim that you are on the pill but are actually flushing them to get a paycheque do you really deserve that cheque or more importantly those young lives entrusted to your care?

You may have an abortion with or without our knowledge or consent yet if you should choose to bring a baby to term we have no choice but to pay up or go to jail, that smacks of inequality. There is no easy answer to this dilemma but it does need to be addressed for our society to become more equal.
 LoonyTunz
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 553
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Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 9/23/2006 7:11:12 PM
Do not put words in my mouth. That is not what i stated, only that since there seems to be 2 adults involved in the creation of said life there should also be equal input from both parties involved.

Sure it may be your body but should you choose not to have said child but I did, take it to term hand it over and get on with your life, if you don't like that then i guess ya should have swallowed.
 LoonyTunz
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 555
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Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 9/23/2006 8:05:37 PM
Hmmm and condoms never break? Child birth is so dangerous that as a species we are at risk?
Reality check... if anyones health mental or physical is at risk any reasonable person I would think would agree that that should take precedence.

And I wouldn't wish that "all women" should try the shoe on the other foot but it sounds like you, dork, could use a moment of role reversal. If you can't see that anything that is going to concievably affect more than one person for a lifetime should not have 100% of it's decisions resting with only one person then I find that unreasonable and have little further to say as a closed mind can seldom be opened.

Remember for a moment I am not whatever a-hole messed with you in the past, I just stated an opinion that just because i can write my name in a snowbank without a stencil my abilities to parent and raise a child should not automatically be valued less than yours.

This seems to be getting off topic so I will re-iterate....

A mother on welfare likely won't be avoided by a real guy based solely on the situation. Welfare around here has gotten a bit of a bad rap because of the rampant abuse, so there may be some hesitancy. But if he finds you to be sincere person only a fool would dismiss you because your circumstances aren't currently the best they have been
 LoonyTunz
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 557
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Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 9/23/2006 9:37:47 PM
Pardon, I was referring to a stable father not an abusive ass. A wanted child by atleast one party.
I resent the inference that because I have a penis I would ever hurt or abuse either of my children. A vagina does not a parent make. And yes a single parent of either gender can make a good go of it..... is that the best way ... unlikely. Both a positive male and female rolemodel would be ideal. But it is an imperfect world.

Picture for a moment the "donor" for your child had the right to insist you have an abortion so that he could get off with no consequences or resonsibility for his action. Horrifying thought isn't it? But what you refuse to recognise is that is the reality for every guy out there, our progeny can be destroyed without so much as a consultation. That is our reality.

I apologise if I got my back up over nothing, but it doies take two to make the baby it should take two to make decisions regarding it aswell. It hits a lil too close to home thinking that my ex could have easily removed my children from my life so easily when I can't imagine a life any other way than with them. In some ways they are the best thing that could have ever been for me.
 LoonyTunz
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 561
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Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 9/23/2006 11:27:46 PM
Simple misunderstanding then Angel, sorry Cori wasn't up to interprete fem-english to guy-english for me (ex-tomboys can be very handy that way lol)

and Fiesty i think you may have misunderstood. Yes the ex did lie about being on the pill and I was niave enough at the time to buy it. No big deal as I was also ready for children at the time, I wasn't suggesting that anyone should be forced to abort, rather the opposite that if EITHER parent wants the child it should be taken into consideration. But you are bang on about the stigma.

Those actually in need I'd prefer to see more funding for actually education and so forth so that they may break the cycle of poverty and teach the children they raise the value of self-sufficiency, while those found abusing the system have the possibility of any future aid revoked.

Case in point a young woman fleeing an abusive home .... $500/month just doesn't cut it, make enough funds available for not a lavish place but a decent place, food and education, counselling aswell if warranted. In the end she will be able to get off the system and look after herself.
 MrGordonGecko
Joined: 6/29/2006
Msg: 565
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 9/24/2006 12:29:31 AM

Would you date a woman/man on social assistance, if for the time being, it was the most logical and beneficial route for them to take?Would you rule someone out as dating potential for being on welfare? Do you think they are lazy by default? Isn't the higher income that welfare allots, coupled with medical benefits, the better choice for the children involved.?


It's an interesting question.

I think you have to consider that asking someone about their financial status early on in the courting stage can be very complicated. Also asking someone "Ok, what are you going to do now?" is going to be complicated too, even though that's a perfectly reasonable question at some point in the budding relationship.

I wouldn't necessarily walk away if a woman was on welfare, but I would probably walk away if she had no plan for her future and didn't want to discuss the issue of finances eventually in a budding relationship. I'd also think the person on welfare, whether they really want to or not, probably would help the budding relationship by discussing how they got into that situation in the first place. Some people make bad choices, some people just have bad freaking luck. Some people have both. I think you have to sit down and consider if the person made bad choices, if those bad choices are a pattern of behavior or not. For example, a chronic gambler is pattern of self destructive behavior. Someone who got laid off and lost their medical insurance then got hit by a car in a twist of fate is just shit happening that no one could control.

But I think the non welfare receiving partner has to really think about if they are able or willing to support his other person and/or their kids the rest of their lives. I mean at some level, you have to accept that the situation the person is in might never change for whatever reason and could you accept that?

But there is a difference. While I can say I might or might not date some woman based on her status of receiving welfare, I also understand that pretty much no woman would ever date me if I was on welfare irregardless of the reason. There is a double standard at work. Men are expected to earn. Society and their potential mates will judge them on their ability to provide. A man's only option in life is to work. But women? It's more socially acceptable for them to do other things like raise children or be a homemaker. Society and potential mates are less punitive to women in this situation.

So in public, a guy will probably say maybe and his real answer in real life would probably be maybe.

But a woman? In public her answer will be maybe but her real answer in real life would probably be no.
 Bubbles27
Joined: 12/19/2006
Msg: 596
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 3/6/2007 11:37:54 AM
I wouldn't date someone on welfare.
 OneBrazenGirl
Joined: 1/10/2007
Msg: 602
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 3/6/2007 3:06:42 PM
Hell no. If I was a man I would NEVER EVER date a woman in this kind of situation. Sure, no one asks to be a single parent, but it is their own problem. The last thing this woman should even be thinking of is dating until she has herself together financially. I imagine she is extremely short on money with such a limited income, which makes me wonder who would pay for dates? Men shouldn't always be expected to pay for everything, and that likely would have to be the case in this woman's situation if she were to date.
 OneBrazenGirl
Joined: 1/10/2007
Msg: 603
Dating Someone On Welfare **
Posted: 3/6/2007 3:22:14 PM
Oh ya, btw.. SHE CAN GET A CALL CENTER JOB. Most pay at least $11.00+/h and offer pretty good benefits after 3 months. Not a fabulous job, but that is what you get without education.
 catman40
Joined: 5/29/2005
Msg: 606
Dating Someone On Welfare
Posted: 3/7/2007 7:37:20 AM
from some of the posts . the woman who say " I would never date a person on welfare " WAIT til YOU become stranded . no money guy took all your money left you pennyless , can't find a job . or better yet . F I R E D . NOW , who's the smart one ? I would date a woman on welfare . A. ) they know that it is hard to find work . B.) when they do find a job . they are more to be on time then the 18-27 . all they thing of is drinking getting drunk . My job may not be a $11 an hour paying job BUT , I know that at the end of the day I have someone waiting at home . NOT CHASING MEN OR GETTING DRUNK . In the last 3 months i have had to fire 4 people because they would not get the job done .
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