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 Samuel1786
Joined: 7/25/2011
Msg: 755
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?Page 23 of 33    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33)
A pre-nup isn't about being paranoid, or disrespecting the woman that you are about to marry--although it certainly does get taken that way.

A pre-nup is just an insurance policy. Luckily, when I got divorced my ex-wife and I handled the arguing outside of court, and the problem was resolved--but had she been the kind of person to make a show out of it, she certainly could have hit me in the wallet. But she was completely against the idea of a pre-nup, and not wanting to make an argument out of something I assumed would be a non-issue anyway (we were going to be together forever, right?) I went along with it.

As much as I, and most people, would like to believe that marriage is about eternal love and commitment, bad things do happen and people do change. A pre-nup is the ONLY recourse that you have when it comes to planning ahead, legally.

And yet, women see this as some sort of high treason. I can see why: Many women feel that the playing field is unfairly balanced against them already, and that a pre-nup is just another way for a scheming, evil man to take advantage of you. That is an incredibly unfortunate way of viewing things.
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 756
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/6/2012 11:48:41 PM

Perhaps some might say I'm blinded by my emotions, but what kind of love is it if your materialistic objects and finances are streaming through your head before you've even begun you've journey?



Lol, if I had "tons of cash", the only way I don't sign a prenup is that person was with me from day one, when I didn't have $#@!, if not it has to be signed.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 757
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/7/2012 1:25:44 AM
I understand the reasoning and I cannot fault the widom. The arguments are rock solid.

I'm still not convinced.




A pre-nup is just an insurance policy


Sure, but against what? That is the question that stopped me in my tracks before my marriage. To move forward holding that thought in my heart did not jive with my understanding of what love is. To me, the pre-nup is about business and business has no business in my business.

Now Tryns up there, makes a totally valid point. Any woman he marries better agree to safeguard their assets for the sake of the children. What happens if you marry a single mom though? Presumably she might want to have the same assurances.

If I had a pre-nup then I would most certainly be in a much better financial situation right now. And that money would have come directly out of a teenaged girl's mouth. I couldn't live with that no matter what her mother did.

Doing the right thing and doing the smart thing are not always the same thing.
 free_pizza
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 758
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/7/2012 4:51:29 AM
"Some might say marriage is a contract, but it's a contract of love and commitment not finances and material things."

Umm, that is exactly what marriage entails. One can appreciate your sentiment but you are factually incorrect.

"Finances and material things" explicitly come into play with the marriage contract and, in fact, financial issues are the primary factor in most divorces. Without a prenup, the Courts and the particular laws in your jurisdiction (which can change during the couse of a marriage) decide the financial issues upon divorce. If you want the marriage contract, why not make it as complete as possible like every other contract and work out the dissolution details in advance? When it comes to legal matters, it is always better (and less expensive) to know rather than to guess. Marriage IS a business contract and nobody starts either a marriage or a business anticipating that it will fail but most of them do. If you don't want the contract, then simply cohabitate -- works well for a lot of people.

Just don't understand why people who insist upon a contract would also insist that it be as vague and indeterminate as possible. It's okay to have a difference of opinions on prenups but one's opinion should be based upon facts and not rhetoric.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 760
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/8/2012 9:51:35 AM
Yes, I would sign a prenup. I was a struggling single parent, living way below the poverty level for many years. My children are my sole beneficieries on everything, pension, life insurance, bank accounts, etc. Also, my modest home is in my name, & that would go to my children also. They stuck w/me through all the hard times, & there is no way in hell anyone else would get what I've accumulated, as modest as it is.
 dmzvisitor
Joined: 3/25/2011
Msg: 761
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/8/2012 10:00:36 AM
I'd have no problem with a pre-nup as long as it was focused on distribution of assets in the event of a divorce.

Anything relating to the conditions of the marriage itself, however, would simply mean endless litigation and destruction of the assets in that process. Can you imagine the cost of trying to prove some of the stuff that was just posted--like, how do you "prove" you had sex (or didn't have sex), x number of times? It's can be very difficult to prove infidelity--that is one reason why states eventually decided that "no fault" was better, b/c litigating the "his fault/her fault" thing destroyed families and their assets.

What does "being rude" to someone's inlaws mean? I might say I'm just being funny and you might think I'm being rude. . .

Those kinds of things are all good to discuss and try to have an understanding on, but to prove? Waste of time and money.
 aremeself
Joined: 12/31/2008
Msg: 762
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History
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/8/2012 3:10:21 PM
if my potential partner had much more than I, I would sign one.

that would give her and her family one less thing to worry about.

I bring it up.
 Angelsbigheart
Joined: 7/30/2011
Msg: 763
view profile
History
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/8/2012 3:40:42 PM
Absolutely!! Why not!!

I've heard too many horror stories and men (more often than women I think) get screwed TOO MUCH and TOO HARD!! And I would not blame a guy for asking for one and it would certainly NOT hurt my feelings if he did!!

I'm not with him for his MATERIAL things!!
 aremeself
Joined: 12/31/2008
Msg: 764
view profile
History
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/8/2012 7:41:35 PM
marry at 20, both have nothing.

now, at 40 plus, it's a different story.

gold diggers and unrealistic dreamers might not what to sign on.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 765
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/8/2012 9:51:01 PM
I must admit, this question has been on my mind since I first saw the OP.

My initial reaction was too harsh I think. I wasn't really considering the scenario where say I was interested in Tryns up there. I suppose if I was really into him, I could understand his argument and since I would have no reason or desire to take anything he brought into the marriage, I would probably sign a pre-nup.

Then again, it still wouldn't feel right and I might just walk based upon that alone. I don't know but I thought I'd mention that I'm not nearly as sure of my answer as I was at first.
 Tryns
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 766
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/9/2012 1:50:56 PM

marry at 20, both have nothing.

now, at 40 plus, it's a different story.

gold diggers and unrealistic dreamers might not what to sign on.


I think you hit the nail on the head. Your answer to this question would vary considerably based on your age and accumulated assets.

I was married at 26 and had no need for a prenup because I had nothing to protect. It's a different story now though, and if I were to ever marry again I would never do so without a prenuptual agreement that protects my assets and business. It's just common sense really.
 DSMTraveler
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 767
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/10/2012 11:09:11 AM

Some might say marriage is a contract, but it's a contract of love and commitment not finances and material things.


Marriage is a social action that defines certain legal obligations upon each party -- usually in regards to making bonds of kinship or family. Marriage is even defined as 'the state of being united to a person in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law'. The original purposes of marriage were financial - the uniting of families, land, assets - and love had nothing to do with marriage.

Marriage is a contract --- which is an agreement of specific terms by two (or more) parties (i.e. individuals) delineating intentions or obligations. For instance, in a 'traditional marriage' he works and brings home the money while she cares for the home and children -- thus their obligations are defined.

Given that marriage is taking many more forms than the 'traditional', isn't it a good idea to be able to define expectations and obligations a little more explicitly? Isn't it a good idea to have your own imput into this legal situation?
 wiseguy_89
Joined: 1/7/2012
Msg: 769
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History
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/10/2012 2:33:48 PM
Its always good to sign a prenuptial agreement.At least I can ensure that girls who cheat or lie are not the ones I am spending my life.
 garvey14
Joined: 6/6/2011
Msg: 770
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/10/2012 3:37:02 PM
not only would I sing one I would absolutely never get married without one again! With divorce rates being what they are there no guarantees in life. So why not take the precaution and get one done. Women are likely to say I will only marry for love. I say bullshit. Once things hit the skids it is all about moving on. I do not ever want to start from scratch again.
 Discordiaa
Joined: 5/27/2009
Msg: 771
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/10/2012 5:01:51 PM
Yes.

I don't see a problem with protecting what is yours, especially if both parties enter into a relationship with children. If anything were to happen, I wouldn't want to touch anything that at some point should go to their children, and vice versa....
 kailania
Joined: 4/10/2008
Msg: 772
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/10/2012 5:52:05 PM
I would sign one if asked to.
why shouldnt someone want to protect their assets.
it has nothing to do with love or trust.
it has to do with past experiences.
and the knowledge that even if you love one another...
things can change.
 ontario_woman
Joined: 4/3/2005
Msg: 774
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History
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/10/2012 6:16:31 PM

I would sign one if asked to.
why shouldnt someone want to protect their assets.
it has nothing to do with love or trust.
it has to do with past experiences.
and the knowledge that even if you love one another...
things can change.


This pretty much sums up my feelings too.

It's romantic to think that we will last forever, but I'm a realist.

People change, grow apart, etc. You don't know what the future holds...
 Rain587
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 775
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/11/2012 10:00:08 PM
I would sign too. I live in a state that says what was yours before a marriage is still yours at divorce EXCEPT if you make it a part of your current marriage and then they can get a percentage. I learned the hard way.

I don't see myself getting married again but not against it. I hope if I do that agreement will never have to be used.
 jallensc
Joined: 12/16/2011
Msg: 776
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/11/2012 10:17:57 PM
Sure. The chick could go crazy at the drop of a hat, and there I am with all my knowledge.
Then I'm up against some sob lawyer and most likely a biased judge. Why wouldn't you put forth these safeguards? Naive are the people who think so primitively in that nothing major could possibly happen. Best to work out every last detail of the biggies, it's only smart. Those who wouldn't sign, yet they would sign a marriage contract..... yeah goofy is right.
 Business_AU
Joined: 12/15/2011
Msg: 777
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/11/2012 11:00:57 PM
I wont need to, but I would write one up if I had a ton of money. Face as much as we want to say women are strong and equal. The second a women is hurt everyone, women and men side with her. She gets the house, kids, and money.

Ask Tiger if he thinks he should have made his ex wife sign a prenup? Seriously you dont think she didnt know he was partying with that many girls every where?
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 779
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History
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/15/2012 11:43:25 PM
In a loving relationship, I won't be marrying her for her money so YES.
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 780
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/16/2012 4:25:35 AM
ur living in a dream world..pre-nups are a must if the financial situation is greatly skewed to one side. After 10 years or so..they rarely have an impact anyways..so ur eternity would still be in effect.In a marriage, guess what the #1 discussion is about?? (MONEY)!! sweetheart...so wake up and smell the roses..u can still feel the 'purest of love'...
 playfulpete
Joined: 2/23/2007
Msg: 781
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/16/2012 7:35:26 AM
Yes,Yes,Yes.It only money and possesions.If you truly love someone all the other stuff doesn,t matter
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 782
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/16/2012 8:45:25 AM
I believe in the concept of a pre-nup, but I'm wondering how much legal weight does it really have. If one of the parties wants to be vindictive, can it ever be challenged in court? If so, that pretty much defeats the purpose of a pre-nup. As far as child support. a pre-nup means nothing. The court alone decides what the child support payments will be.

I find it hard to believe all of the stories I hear and read of people losing everything in a divorce and the ex-partner getting everything. I thought the basic principle in divorce is whatever assets the couple accumulates together during their marriage is divided 50/50. How does this get changed to 100/0? Wouldn't a marriage license be like a pre-nup if all accumulated assets are divided 50/50?
 legnakrad
Joined: 11/4/2007
Msg: 784
view profile
History
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/25/2012 5:03:33 AM
Yes I would and I would want my partner to do the same. I would hope to be in a relationship that lasted forever but there is no guarantee and I wouldn't want to lose my hard earned cash if it ended.
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