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 dslam1
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 607
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?Page 7 of 33    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33)
p.s. agreements written by a party that direct the distribution of assets after death are called Wills, and if you don't meet the exact stututory provisions of each state, any other agreements will be invalid.
 HB2
Joined: 5/11/2005
Msg: 609
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 4/11/2007 7:55:36 PM
Why bother cause courts overturn them left & right these days...

If...IF...I ever give my heart again then that vulnerability will simply have to be part of the package...

I find that love & trust are more valuable than things could ever be...
 whisper67520
Joined: 9/29/2006
Msg: 617
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History
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 4/12/2007 1:59:37 PM
Excellent post ladies.....Thanks so much for sharing with the masses..
 Pretty Happy
Joined: 2/27/2007
Msg: 618
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 4/12/2007 2:13:50 PM
Nope. And I 've been in relationship for the past 2 years...in love with a guy who has assets and who is futurizing that should we get married he would want a pre-nup. I see clearly that money is on his alter and that worship of money is happening much more strongly than adoration of love and the beloved. I would never sign a pre-nup and this has become one of the fundamental issues of our break-up.

The bottom line though is the fear...of being taken advantage of. That fear drives away the love. I'll never sign a pre-nup or be for long with someone who wants one.
 trs1958
Joined: 10/28/2006
Msg: 621
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 4/12/2007 9:15:35 PM
Pretty Happy...
I have an honest and sincere question for you. You state you are pretty much set on not ever signing a pre-nup. And you say that you are in love with a guy who has assets but you don't mention anything about you having any assets yourself. How do your assets compare to his assets...strictly financially speaking?
You also say:

The bottom line though is the fear...of being taken advantage of.

Do you not think he has the right to have that same fear? Especially if HE would be coming into a marriage with significantly more financial assets than you? Or is the fear you're speaking about HIS fear to begin with? The best way to avoid any fear on BOTH parties' sides IS to sign a pre-nup. And like another poster said...you can concentrate on the love in the relationship instead of the fear over financial matters.
 gojo83
Joined: 3/16/2007
Msg: 626
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Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 4/13/2007 5:04:08 PM
well I didn't read all the messages but I will say this I will not get married again with out one I lost my a$$ last time so that will not happen again
 trs1958
Joined: 10/28/2006
Msg: 628
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 4/13/2007 10:11:26 PM

...however I do think that he should split the value of the house property that has accrued (any value exceeding the value of the home at the time of marriage) over the time a marriage partner has lived there and contributed care and money. Anything the partners have accrued together should be looked at as marital asset as well.

This is true to a certain extent. IF...she pays for half of the mortgage, bills, taxes, etc. Otherwise...she would be living there "rent free" and THEN get paid for it. If they weren't married, she would have to be paying to live somewhere...whether it be her own house or renting one. And unless a person lets their property run down, the value of a house usually increases with time. There are a lot of factors to look at and no one should should be taken advantage of in any situation...man or woman. But it happens, more often than not.
And I use the terms SHE and HER as an example...this could very well be HE and HIM if the tables were reversed and she was the one that owned a house and the guy moved in with her.
If either party deserves an equal split of the accrued value from the time they marry until they divorce then they should at least have to invest an equal share during that time.
I have never believed in the FWB type of situation (which is in another thread)...but after reading pages and pages on this subject, the FWB thing is starting to look more and more favorable...probably to a lot of people.
 dslam1
Joined: 6/4/2005
Msg: 632
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 4/15/2007 3:03:25 PM
I agree with the last poster. Omg, that seems ridiculous!! I would think that a judge would not allow one party to maliciously destroy the value of marital assets, for no other reason than bitterness. I have never heard of that happening in the midwest?
 Luciana9
Joined: 3/23/2009
Msg: 635
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 9/13/2009 3:47:54 PM
These days, everyone getting married should have a prenuptial agreement. A premarital agreement acts as a safeguard for both you and your spouse-to-be. It protects your assets and may prevent expensive and acrimonious litigation if a divorce should occur by defining the rights and responsibilities of the parties in advance. With today's divorce rate hovering around 50%,a prenuptial agreement may be one of the most prudent decisions in your life. This is particularly true for business owners who may wish to preserve what they have worked so hard to build.
 PFANB
Joined: 7/31/2009
Msg: 636
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 9/13/2009 6:55:04 PM
Yes, I would...for my own protection as well.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 637
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Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 9/13/2009 8:09:01 PM
I would sign a prenuptial agreement, ( protecttion of my security ) I believe too that marriage should last eternity but that won't happen for there is no such thing as eternity, you lose a spouse through divorce or death....


Perhaps some might say I'm blinded by my emotions,but what kind of love is it if your materialistic and finances are streaming through your head before you've even begun you've journey ?


People who has nothing to protect ,*doesn't care to sign a prenuptial agreement because they have nothing to lose.* But those people who work hard for their security will hold on to it, that no one will squander their savings, steal their properties by their so called spouses /mate.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 638
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Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 9/13/2009 8:20:12 PM

some people have assets... thats why and they want want to protect them.


That is correct, but if a couple build up some assets during their marriage that is what they are going to split up on their divorce.
 gracengracie
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 639
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 9/13/2009 8:27:03 PM
I possibly wouldn't sign one. I believe material things are not important and I would never pretend to take part of my spouses estate just because in case we would split.

I would hope he would know me better than to ask me to sign, but we will never know right?
 tnt144
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 643
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 9/13/2009 10:53:48 PM
You would be better off learning about relationships rather than trying to put on a band-ade.

Besides... I don't know how romantic a prenup would be to a person right before marrage... might drop their love level down a notch... which is exactly what you DO NOT want.

Plus, a prenup is only going to cover your monetary assets... what about your mental state and happiness? Ever hear of a little thing called baggage? Divorce can be hell, and emotional pain can last a long time.... some people never get over it. I know money is important but... what about happiness and your mental state?

You don't need a pre-nup if she is madly in love with you and you know how to keep her that way. Would a person in love want a divorce?
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 653
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Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 9/14/2009 7:56:14 AM
I would have no problem signing a fair prenup. And if I though it appropriate to ask her to agree to one, then it would be for good reasons having nothing to do with love or the expected success of the relationship, but with practical matters. If she had a problem with it, then I'd suspect that she was interested in me for reasons other than love, and she is welcome to leave in that case.

I've seen too many bad divorces from what were previously good relationships, and when a relationship falls apart (regardless of initial intentions), money is so often used to try to hurt the other person. A prenup helps prevent the nastiness IF things go wrong, and does nothing if things continue to go well.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 654
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 9/14/2009 8:09:33 AM

I urged her to take the pre-nupt. back to that lawyer. To make a long story short, it was thrown out. It was not according to the laws of the Supreme Court of Canada.


I've said it many times before, and I'll say it again:

It's all about the LOOOOoooooooooove at the beginning, and it's all about the MONEY at the end...


 boinkboinkboink
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 656
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 9/14/2009 9:17:17 AM
If you object to a prenup, you are likely close to broke. If you want a prenup, you're realistic, and likely have assets you want to protect. Truly, why is a new spouse entitled to any part of what you owned before the marriage began? Share equally what you create together during the marriage everything else belongs to the respective individual.
 varinia
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 659
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 9/14/2009 2:22:02 PM
I would insist on one.

That way the thought that either one of us is after money is out the window, from the beginning on.
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 660
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Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 9/14/2009 2:27:21 PM
Would I sign one? If the terms are we walk away with what we came in with, sure. Anyone (male or female) who is financially secure should consider this. She's worked very hard for her dough, and I'd want her to know I want her and love her for her body, mind and soul, not her dough. I'll make my own, thanks, as soon as this fvcking economy rebounds.
 tnt144
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 662
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 9/14/2009 4:51:09 PM
I've been reading more of the posts and profiles in this thread, and I have to say, this is one of the most revealing threads regarding dating/relationships I have ever seen. This question is the shortest rout to finding the good, the bad, and the ugly.

It's never been more evident to me that people make up excuses to fit their own desires... I love the people that say "I want one to show it's not about money"... that has to be the biggest crock I have ever heard... a prenup, by it's very definition, is about money! You have to be joking me! It's never been so evident to me why the divorce rate is so high.

I looked up the profiles of the women who answered correctly (there were one or two men) and found only as many good catches in those as I did in the last one-hundred random profiles. That's sad.

Look... I'm going to try and say this again as plainly and as simply as I can...

1) Love is the power which predominately holds a relationship together. Would a person in love with their spouse want a divorce?

With me so far?!

2) Trust is a necessary ingredient to romantic love... in fact, love levels go up or down in direct proportion to the level of trust. She can't love you if she can't trust you. Do you smell what I'm cooking?!

3) If you bring up a prenup, you are, at the very least, planting a seed in the other person's mind that you don't trust them highly... you have a high risk of eroding trust and love, which is the beginning of the road to the very thing you don't want, divorce. You guys are shooting yourselves in the foot, sabotaging your relationships from the very start, and you don't even know it, you have no clue! Even if she seems to be in favor of it, she may just be telling you what you want to hear, in the heat of the moment. People rarely tell you that you are breaking their spirit until many transgressions latter, and/or when it's too late. Love is stolen away from people like a thief in the night. You have to take responsibility for your actions and know what you are doing if you want to play the love game and win. Are you still awake, do you smell the..... coffee??! Or, do you smell broken china??!!

It reminds me of a commercial I once saw of a first date... the woman, during a romantic dinner with whine and soft lighting takes a dating contract out of her purse and puts it on the table... how thoughtful of her!?!?! Whats for desert... an icepick?!

The number-one reason for divorce is not a money issue... it's hate... because near the end, they find themselves doing the relationship work without the reward of love, and grow to hate you... that's why those pretty young things turn into scorned women... and there is nothing worse than a scorned women.... they will get you! So don't go there.

If you think you need a pre-nup, don't get married. And for the love of God, don't have kids... we have enough broken homes and screwed up kids already.
 serenity0202
Joined: 9/11/2009
Msg: 663
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 9/14/2009 4:52:49 PM
No problem whatsoever with a prenup!
Everyone "presumably" gets married with the thought that it's going to last for the rest of your days. Why should a prenup be an issue then? In the event of a split, why should either party have to part with what was his/hers before you got together. What you acquire together during the relationship I would think should be split, yes. What you have beforehand should remain yours. Why should anyone else have any entitlement to that? If either the man or woman is entering in to the marriage with signifigantly more than the other, why should they not be able to protect themselves. I don't think it has anything to do with your "love" for someone. If I were to marry again, I would insist upon having one drawn up. I would also not have a problem if the man I was to marry wanted one put in place.
 Stafford_Jim
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 665
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Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 9/14/2009 7:42:11 PM


I seriously don't think I'll be getting married. If having to sign a prenup is a requirement, I know I won't be getting married. It's insulting as can be because it says that he believes "money talks" when it comes to me. If that's what he thinks of me, I'm not the girl for him.

Hearts are bound by love, not contracts.


Prenups aren't for hearts bound by love, they are for hearts no-longer-bound by love.

I would expect a woman to sign a prenup if she wasn't bringing much into the marriage, and I would fully expect to sign one if I married a woman who had a lot more to lose than I do in a divorce.

Most folks that don't agree with them fall into one of two categories that I've seen:

1) Niave, they believe that their love will never end no matter what.
2) Would wind up on the winning side of a divorce, meaning they didn't bring anything to the partnership and only stand to gain financially in divorce.
 RLC89
Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 666
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 9/14/2009 8:05:27 PM
Would I sign a prenupt? No.

I'm definitely not a gold digger, so IF I ever got married, it's going to have to be just about that: TRUST. The man will have to trust that I'm not going after all of his assets. If he still insists that I HAVE to sign a prenupt before he will marry me, then I'll move on. Not because I want the money, but because this is an indication (in my opinion) that he is not serious about me, or the marriage. Does he really love me? If so, why is he already thinking about a divorce before we have even gotten married? Why doesn't he trust the woman he supposedly loves and wants to spend the rest of his life with?

I don't particularly want to get married. Ever. I'll only do it if I were with a guy I loved enough and thought he was really "The One" for me. I don't need/want marriage bad enough to sign a prenupt.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 669
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Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 9/14/2009 8:25:14 PM

Prenups aren't for hearts bound by love, they are for hearts no-longer-bound by love.

Very true.

The government determines how your financial relationship will be divided. Yes, that is how they view your marriage on divorce. A prenup is also for people who want to divide things they way they want to - not how the government determines it.

As someone stated earlier, it's very important that both are in agreement with it and that it would be considered fair by the courts so it will stand up.

The trust argument doesn't work for me. Going into the relationship - when you are full of love for each other and can't imagine anything would ever pull you apart - is the very best time to be determining what would be fair for both if you were to split up further down the road.
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