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 TedJMill
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 723
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Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?Page 9 of 33    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33)
Yes, definitely. With my last girlfriend, we never got married, although we were considering it, and when things went badly it cost me a lot. If we'd been married, she could have gotten half my retirement savings as well.
 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 725
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 9/16/2009 7:17:55 AM

5. Legally speaking, depending on where you live, getting out of a common law marriage can be as costly as getting out of a full-out marriage. The only way around the issue is if you charge your partner rent... and even that's not a guarantee... especially if you have kids with them.


Yeah, I think that the longer you are married and live wih someone the less value a prenup will have...

... which is why if I was ever stupid enough to get married again, there would be a clause in it that states that we will never live together.....


 Capitano_Blaugh
Joined: 3/18/2008
Msg: 726
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 9/16/2009 7:48:24 AM
When she runs away with the pool boy, she gets back her downpayment and half any equity that accrued.....

Smiple.



Edit to add:

... and the doilies. Men don't like doilies. She will want the other knick-knacks too...

.... and the fancy towels that no one is allowed to use and only come out when her mother visits....

.... it's likely she'll take all the Ikea stuff too, thank GaaaawwwD! That stuff is such crap.....

Edit again:

... though in an ideal world, she'd get back a percentage of the equity proportionate to the percentage of the downpayment she put in....
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 728
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Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 9/16/2009 12:10:30 PM
In the example Belle gave it would also depend on whether the property was held as tenants in commons or joint tenants. His mistake was in not updatiing the agreement to reflect their new living arrangement.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 729
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Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 9/16/2009 2:15:10 PM

Judgement was: It was a common-law co-habitation. It was deemed unfair to her and not to what the current laws regarding common-law marriage is about and all she had to say was that he got her to sign it by using big words and "logic" that she didn't understand.

And that is precisely why ILA (Independent Legal Advice) is absolutely critical for both parties.

I just realized you're in BC Belle. BC has some crazy stupid laws (IMO) for co-habitation. Unless it has been altered from a fairly recent Supreme Court decision, it is the only province in Canada that includes the matrimonial home in co-habitation. Every where else holds that property should be treated differently between married and living together.
 Merrylass
Joined: 12/30/2007
Msg: 733
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Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 9/17/2009 1:50:55 PM

you need to be realistic

Bachelor02, that's exactly what I said.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 734
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Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 9/18/2009 1:33:56 AM
laws are not only different between parts of canada and parts of the usa, they also evolve at "different" rates within the states and i believe vary across canada as well. when i was in college, eons ago, i kept my surname. two marriages later, still have it. my second ex from scotland had to explain all this to his father. he brought his girlfriend along to the states, who spent the next hour muttering how she should have kept her name. she loved her deceased husband, but her name was much nicer.

well, it had nothing to do with nice sounding names back then. while i was in college, there were still states with property rights where once married a woman automatically gave up "her" property and in so doing became property so to speak of the husband by taking his name. in fact, it was texas where a woman could not own her own business w/o marital intervention. i believe it was the last state to forego this tradition. nowadays you have choice as to what name you carry w/o property rights built into the deal, but cannot choose both options as it could lead to "tax fraud".

well, a lot has happened over 40 years! but, if the example of the first prenup is correct-- that it was to protect a woman's property-- then it was probably in the context that back then she had NO property rights. here in CA, i know many men whose rights were honored in divorce and included equal say in the future childraising of their family. other states this is a "no go" and of course, different judges have different takes. some are on the take!

again, laws must be contiually challenged to reflect the times and the possiblities for adaptation and equity. in the meanwhile, i would not have a knee jerk reaction to anyone's opinion until it was talked out thoroughly and the concerns of both parties addressed!
 Tryns
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 736
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/5/2012 7:43:09 AM
Digging this up because this came up recently in a conversation.

If I were to be married again I wouldn't do so unless I had a prenup in place. Mostly for me it is about protecting my assets for my kids.
 CptJohnSheridan
Joined: 11/23/2011
Msg: 738
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/5/2012 9:02:04 AM
No. If I didn't trust her or she didn't trust me then why get married at all?

That said, I would like to see a return to "at fault" divorce in states that do not have it. When one spouse goes off, the victimized spouse should be compensated.
 jt guy
Joined: 12/24/2008
Msg: 739
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/5/2012 10:20:35 AM
I am all for prenups, because it covers both parties, should the big divorce happen. Signing a pernup is not saying or assuming the marriage will fail, it is the only way you can CYA.
Marriage is a contract, because the laws of the land says so and it takes other laws of the land to break that contract. Prenups are contracts too and they work with the marriage contract. Sounds like good business to me, for both parties.
 DSMTraveler
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 740
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/5/2012 11:30:13 AM

...if someone is asking for a prenup (besides celebrities of course)


So, why are celebrities exempt?
 musical_turtle
Joined: 3/11/2011
Msg: 742
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/5/2012 7:33:37 PM
Sure, I wouldn't mind signing a prenup. If I'm in love, and that's what makes him happy...then okay.I also believe marriage should last forever,and one should approach it cautiously, and with realistic expectations...not idealistic,romanticized ones. IMO, when you realllly love someone...you don't analyze things & pick things apart (who has the upper hand in the relationship etc etc). You do whatever will make the other person happy, right? By demanding a prenup, or by analyzing why the other person wants a prenup....there's no real love there. That's just me =)
 cin____dy
Joined: 8/21/2011
Msg: 743
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/5/2012 7:45:23 PM
Marriage is a contract, and all should have an intensive pre-nupt, not only for the reason of money, but for promises and for consequences of ignoring their vows. There are few life long marriages that is just our reality and because of that we must change how we proceded in them.
The no fault marriage laws have done harm to our marriages and the contracts.
I do believe that the person that is not honerable and keep their marriage vows should have a greater burden of the consequences, just like any contract.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 744
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/5/2012 7:55:58 PM
For me it wont matter what she says or her / my friends think. But if there is no rock solid prenup then i wont ever get married.. Why not learn from other people experience??? Seeing how everyone that has something to lose end up lossing in a divorce.. I would rather keep what i worked for. Im ok to share it when im with someone one.. But if we go our own way then we should keep what we came in with or what we earned. I wont take yours but i wont give away my...
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 745
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/6/2012 2:24:06 AM
Nope.

I don't waste my time with greedy, paranoid people.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 746
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/6/2012 4:35:42 AM
absolutely,
and I think the relationship should be renegotiated every few years too.
say a three year contract review.
There is nothing more damaging to your financial status than a divorce.
If you are going into a marriage all polly anna - you will find out the hard way when the venom comes out (and I have yet to see a scenario where there wasn't and indeed, I know entirely too many lawyers that would agree with the battlefield of divorce - the man is pretty damned unarmed)
 DSMTraveler
Joined: 8/18/2011
Msg: 747
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/6/2012 6:41:33 AM

Oh please, everyone knows (including them) that Hollywood marriages are doomed from the get go. AND If you are stupid like Jennifer Lopez and marry someone who makes 1/10th of the money she did, I'd say it was a good idea...


So you're saying that a prenup IS a good idea where there are inequalities in the relationship. Since there are very few marriages where the parties make exactly the same amount of money and will continue to do so for the duration of the marriage -- then a prenup is simply a good idea.

Usually such a differential is financial.... in fact, I believe a prenup is for the intents of equitable distribution (or redistribution) of money in the event of a split. A marriage is a contract and liable for termination of some sort. A prenup merely spells out the intent of the couple IF that occurs. A prenup protects assets you bring into a marriage IF the marriage is dissolved. A prenup doesn't cause a divorce. It's like a map to delineate what happens if you happen do end up in Divorce City.

I'm all for prenups, post-nups and periodic marital agreement updates; not simply for the overt theme of "sharing" what the married couple, as a single entity, makes; but also to ensure that both parties are in agreement with the direction of their finances and that they are both aware of the financial situation they live in.

And, except for the recent Kardashian fiasco, I don't believe that most Hollywood couples go into marriage believing they're doomed to failure.
 Tryns
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 748
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/6/2012 11:02:15 AM
Nobody goes into a marriage thinking it is a temporary thing....yet we still have 50% + divorce rates...so yeah a prenuptual agreement doesn't sound like such a bad thing.

However you should be realistic too...if you don't have anything to protect then why even bother?

In my case I own a small business and have other assets that I would want to protect and pass along to my children. I would want those assets protected by a prenuptual so that there would be no question that my kids would still inherit and continue running the business.

For those of you who think prenuptuals are a bad idea that's your choice....but I think you're being naive. Either you have nothing you need to protect, you don't believe people can change (for the worse) requiring a divorce or you really are looking to cash out should a divorce happen.
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 749
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/6/2012 11:46:08 AM
We signed one, the conversation around "what if" was really easy for us to have.
Of course we're planning on being together till death do us part but who knows what could happen? We both should be protected so as not to have one of us broke or destitute if the "big D" should transpire...
 Texan_Gal
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 750
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/6/2012 1:09:59 PM
I think I'd prefer a pre-nup, with a clause about infidelity.
 intheweeds2
Joined: 9/9/2010
Msg: 752
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/6/2012 2:41:53 PM
Well hell yes! If I were to ever get married again, and I feel sure I won't, I would have a prenup! I lived with both, yes, both of my ex-husbands for years. Bought a house with one too! I am lucky, I am friends with both now! Unfortunately when you are divorcing, rarely are things nice and easy and agreeable! If you have your own money and your put it into the marriage account-you have now co-mingled money and can't get it back! Maybe I sound like a ****, but protect and take care of yourself! You get one shot!
 Brenetha
Joined: 12/26/2005
Msg: 754
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Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/6/2012 9:30:48 PM
Some might say marriage is a contract, but it's a contract of love and commitment not finances and material things. That's a business deal. To save me from the aggravation, I would prefer to be with a guy that does not have much except love in his heart for me. I am not in love with his money.
 Samuel1786
Joined: 7/25/2011
Msg: 755
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/6/2012 9:48:18 PM
A pre-nup isn't about being paranoid, or disrespecting the woman that you are about to marry--although it certainly does get taken that way.

A pre-nup is just an insurance policy. Luckily, when I got divorced my ex-wife and I handled the arguing outside of court, and the problem was resolved--but had she been the kind of person to make a show out of it, she certainly could have hit me in the wallet. But she was completely against the idea of a pre-nup, and not wanting to make an argument out of something I assumed would be a non-issue anyway (we were going to be together forever, right?) I went along with it.

As much as I, and most people, would like to believe that marriage is about eternal love and commitment, bad things do happen and people do change. A pre-nup is the ONLY recourse that you have when it comes to planning ahead, legally.

And yet, women see this as some sort of high treason. I can see why: Many women feel that the playing field is unfairly balanced against them already, and that a pre-nup is just another way for a scheming, evil man to take advantage of you. That is an incredibly unfortunate way of viewing things.
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 756
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/6/2012 11:48:41 PM

Perhaps some might say I'm blinded by my emotions, but what kind of love is it if your materialistic objects and finances are streaming through your head before you've even begun you've journey?



Lol, if I had "tons of cash", the only way I don't sign a prenup is that person was with me from day one, when I didn't have $#@!, if not it has to be signed.
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 757
Would you sign a prenuptial agreement?
Posted: 1/7/2012 1:25:44 AM
I understand the reasoning and I cannot fault the widom. The arguments are rock solid.

I'm still not convinced.




A pre-nup is just an insurance policy


Sure, but against what? That is the question that stopped me in my tracks before my marriage. To move forward holding that thought in my heart did not jive with my understanding of what love is. To me, the pre-nup is about business and business has no business in my business.

Now Tryns up there, makes a totally valid point. Any woman he marries better agree to safeguard their assets for the sake of the children. What happens if you marry a single mom though? Presumably she might want to have the same assurances.

If I had a pre-nup then I would most certainly be in a much better financial situation right now. And that money would have come directly out of a teenaged girl's mouth. I couldn't live with that no matter what her mother did.

Doing the right thing and doing the smart thing are not always the same thing.
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