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 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 418
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Dating Someone With A High IQPage 16 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
Perhaps the greatest challenge in mis-matched IQ's in dating, comes not from who's higher or lower, but from what judgments they make based on that.

I think we've all known or seen people who know lots of things, and who are sure that this makes them entirely superior to everyone they deem to be their lessers. We've also seen folks who think less of themselves, owing to knowing they weren't as knowledgeable as someone they were attracted to.

Whether or not a mismatched relationship would work or not, also depends upon how each person thinks that the relationship ought to work. For the proverbial couples made up of a well-off master, and some sort of "arm candy," a huge mismatch of intelligence might be an imperative element or success, for example. But for someone who expects their spouse to be an equal team mate, a mismatch could spell trouble.
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 420
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Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 12/24/2011 5:32:26 PM
Pretty with a nice figure is great. But it's even better if she's smart--I've found smart women tend to have especially naughty imaginations.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 422
Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 12/24/2011 5:59:53 PM

This was an extremely valuable skill for an auto mechanic, and I don’t care how intelligent you are, or how many years you studied, if you did not have that gift, you would never be able to match his abilities as an auto mechanic. I do believe this is the same kind of thing as Gwendolyn was speaking of, musical prodigy and writing a novel.


Yup! There is a difference between a "genius" in any field (including fixing things) and those who can be competent at a task.

By the way, an auto mechanic might not score high on a standard IQ test (and I say "might" not), but that does not detract of the level of intelligence or genius needed in that area--it is merely a different type of intelligence.
 ssjeff134
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 423
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Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 5/26/2012 12:41:24 PM
Technically IQ test reasoning skills which is pretty much common sense.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 425
Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 5/26/2012 1:53:21 PM

IQ is real, and it's so much fun to hang out with someone in possession of a nimble mind, but if I had to choose, I'd rather have the person who really listens and tries to understand, even if I have to stop and define a word or two now and then.

I once felt this way. Until I was married to a man who eventually let the differences in our intelligence turn into verbal bashings at my expense. Things such as, "Me and my pea-brain have no idea what that means." or "No man wants a woman smarter than his own self." etc. I don't ever recall making fun of his lack of vocabulary skills, nor did I think I was more intelligent, I was simply intelligent on different subjects than he was. The things I found endearing about him in the beginning (his ability to make friends readily/easily) his interest in socializing and being the "center of attention" when doing so, etc., are the things I learned to hate by the end. Much like his professions to me post-divorce. He loved my researching-obsessions, and my interest in education and my "knowing a little about a lot, but a lot about very little" in the beginning. In the end? Those are the very things he learned to despise. I learned from that experience that any man in my life would need to be equal to or more intelligent than I am. So far, that has served me well. There have been no issues regarding education or intelligence in my life since my divorce all those years ago because as a wise forum poster once said, "It does no good to dumb down because eventually, someone will figure out who the smarter party is." (Or something of that nature.)

(And for those who feel the need to profess their smarts? Those who feel the need to put a number to their IQ, for instance? Granny said it best, "If they have to profess it? They likely don't possess it." I agree with that whole-heartedly.) JMO
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 426
Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 5/26/2012 2:24:52 PM
Yeah how do you know they have an high IQ? Do they tell you and you believe them?, people dont walk around saying oh I have an high IQ, only the dumb ones do, and only the fools believe him.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 427
Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 5/26/2012 2:35:13 PM
Yeah how do you know they have an high IQ? Do they tell you and you believe them?, people dont walk around saying oh I have an high IQ, only the dumb ones do, and only the fools believe him.

Because I say so? Mensa is a great place to meet equivalent and even greater intellects than yourself,
which is much like playing tennis with someone higher on the ladder.
Though you may lose quite a few games, it is usually to your long-term benefit in sharpening skills ..
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 431
Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 5/28/2012 12:58:44 AM
My IQ is in the 130's. You know the old saying "ignorance is bliss?" The opposite can be true for really smart people. A lot of us spend our time in deep thought on various issues, and it can get depressing. I can actually remember as far back as my infancy. I recall to color and texture of the carpet I crawled on. I remember certain things from childhood in vivid detail.
 jmark4
Joined: 7/3/2011
Msg: 432
Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 5/28/2012 1:54:02 AM
A high iq means you are school smart, not street smart. It's overrated. I did go out with one person and they were extremely boring and had little or no experience with the real world.

I'm sure there are some that are cool and fun, but they are more rare than not I think.
 quarked
Joined: 5/23/2008
Msg: 433
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Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 5/28/2012 3:11:42 AM
Street smart is the politically correct way to say dumb.

That said, an IQ test is also dumb. All standardized tests are pretty dumb.
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 434
Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 5/28/2012 3:14:18 AM

A high iq means you are school smart, not street smart. It's overrated. I did go out with one person and they were extremely boring and had little or no experience with the real world.

I'm sure there are some that are cool and fun, but they are more rare than not I think.


That isn't entirely true. I've always managed to balance both street smarts and book smarts. A lot of people with book smarts have no common sense.
 Paderic
Joined: 2/23/2010
Msg: 437
Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 5/28/2012 8:58:40 AM
A high iq means you are school smart, not street smart. It's overrated. I did go out with one person and they were extremely boring and had little or no experience with the real world.


Whether IQ tests are a good measure of intelligence is debatable. However, if we accept that IQ is intended to be a measure of intelligence, it is a measure of a person's ability to learn, not how much formal education they have received.

Like most such threads on this site, this one is rife with negative stereotypes. That you knew one or two people who were a certain way does not mean that most or all people in that group share the same traits.
 marita_b
Joined: 6/15/2005
Msg: 438
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Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 6/26/2012 11:01:37 AM
However, if we accept that IQ is intended to be a measure of intelligence, it is a measure of a person's ability to learn, not how much formal education they have received.

I do not personally accept your first premiss,....but to me your second statement seems reasonable ,....

I came to Canada at a time when the procedure from foreigners was the following,....

instead of going into grade five as I would have done in Germany, because I knew no English whatsoever they started me out in grade 2 in Canada,...
to make matters even worse the material we where given in our curriculum in Germany was 1-3 years that ahead of the standards in Canada,....

Initially it was fun for me to ace everything save spelling ,...but that quickly developed into boredom, hence I lost all interest in learning anything, until I became old enough to want to learn on my own,.....

I never forgot that, and when a teacher told me my son was doing poorly because he couldn't do any better,
I did what I wished my parents had,....I advocated on his behalf and found him the environment he needed,....
 wanderer1999
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 439
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Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 6/26/2012 11:20:35 AM
Wow, talk about dredging up an old thread...


Yeah how do you know they have an high IQ? Do they tell you and you believe them?, people dont walk around saying oh I have an high IQ, only the dumb ones do, and only the fools believe him.


Um... yah.

Trust me, if you run into someone with a very high IQ (gifted 140+ level), you'll know once you get to know them if they aren't playing possum.

You'd be surprised at how many of the smartest people are playing possum when you meet them.
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 440
Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 6/26/2012 11:36:02 AM
OP: Very rarely exists a soul that is a well-rounded genius. Keep that in mind.
 wanderer1999
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 441
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Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 6/26/2012 11:37:13 AM

OP: Very rarely exists a soul that is a well-rounded genius. Keep that in mind.


Define "well-rounded"....
 wanderer1999
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 442
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Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 6/26/2012 12:18:15 PM

There's also the distinct possibility that a person with a 160 IQ sees the average person in the same way the average person sees a 12 year old. I'm sure most adults would disagree with a 12 yearr old's notion of well rounded. If people like Einstein and Dirac were socially awkward and not well-rounded by the standards of the average person, perhaps that has something to do with it. I wouldn't see most adults fitting in with 12 year olds.


Yes, no, sort of...

Those with very high IQ's take a variety of approaches and combinations of approaches. Here are some typical examples...

1) Assimilation. They do their best to fit in, only interacting intellectually very selectively. They may think about time-space, genetic drift, 3rd level derivatives, or the role of nature vs nurture during their down time, but they just won't talk about it to just anyone. Like chameleons, they don't want to get noticed for their intellect unless it's socially appropriate like at work or during specific discussions.

2) Education. They may or may not care about fitting in, but they want to be understood. They'll explain complex ideas to others, and will scale down vocabulary and concepts as much as necessary in order to convey their ideas and trains of logic.

3) Isolation. Screw the world. You won't understand them anyway, so no point in trying to explain it to you. You go do your thing, they'll focus on what they want to focus.

4) Arrogance. They're the smartest and they know it. They're going to remind people of that fact by shooting down your obviously bad ideas and demonstrating their superior intellect.

As for the well-rounded part, the ability to become well-rounded is specific to the person.

-Some do not have the wiring for social skills.
-Some have the wiring but don't care to develop those skills.
-Some have the wiring and choose to develop those skills as well.

There are probably as many bright people who are either well rounded or capable of becoming well round by percentage as average people who are well rounded.

As alluded to above, a number who could potentially becomes well rounded choose to NOT be well rounded simply due to time constraints. There's only so many hours in a day, and you can only get so many things done. If you want to think deeply about physics, economics or mathematics, it leaves only so much time to spend at the gym or think about group relationships and dating dynamics.

If they thought it was important, there's no shortage of very bright people that could become very skilled with people if they so desired.
 Cinnamonstar
Joined: 12/16/2009
Msg: 443
Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 6/26/2012 12:47:23 PM
Well they might think they know all.
 _TALL_IQ2_
Joined: 2/10/2010
Msg: 444
Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 6/26/2012 12:52:02 PM
OP: Very rarely exists a soul that is a well-rounded genius. Keep that in mind.

"serious observer of human life is compelled to believe that full, well-rounded, evenly- balanced geniuses are extremely rare." J. T. Lloyd 1881


Well they might think they know all.

Some of us DO...

Nah, I don't think of most people as 12yrs old, unless we're gonna go to the local park and swing...

Mensa is a great place to socialize, never having to play possum or try to fit in with all them misfits...

VVV Yer one a them, I kin tell..
 wanderer1999
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 445
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Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 6/26/2012 1:02:38 PM

Well they might think they know all.


Actually it's the opposite. Very high IQ people are keenly aware of how little they know, which is why they're often constantly trying to learn. Think of it like this... if you sit on a beach the ocean may seem big, but if you can imagine it from space, you realize how vast the ocean really is.

Knowledge is like that. To some people knowledge seems small and manageable. To those that really think about it they realize that knowledge is something that is neverending.

This doesn't mean that they also aren't keenly aware that on specific topics they know significantly more than others, thus the impression that they "know it all".
 NVMinerMan
Joined: 6/2/2012
Msg: 447
Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 6/27/2012 4:07:32 AM
me took the IQ, IR, IS, IT, IU, IV, IW, IX, IY, IZ test and passed them all

u people still struggleing with IQ?
 abmccray
Joined: 8/3/2008
Msg: 448
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Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 6/27/2012 9:34:22 AM

lol I have an 8th grade education. and a 4 year degree from the school of hard knocks (the military)




I am not the dumbest guy out there but I carry with me a bountiful amount of common sense and "street smarts"


I've dated women with "superior intellect"


and all it usually leads to is good sex.


Well, if you had more than an 8th grade education, you may have learned that I.Q. has nothing to do with education level (outside of being adjusted for knowing basic concepts that most people in the area may know - like language and word meanings), and that people with very high "street smarts" probably have very high I.Q.s as well, since well-done IQ tests measure the very abilities people refer to when they talk about "street smarts."

As for the question; I've never been able to date someone with a below average I.Q., or what I perceive to be the case. Communication is frustrating -because- of that inability to comprehend and learn; it becomes completely pointless.
 marita_b
Joined: 6/15/2005
Msg: 449
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Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 6/27/2012 11:41:26 AM
(OP: Very rarely exists a soul that is a well-rounded genius. Keep that in mind)

I do but thanks for reminding me,l to pass on,....

Genius,... has a lot of different aspects to it,.....

for example,....we could probably all agree,.....that Einstein was one,....and he was,....but not in everything
if you took him for a walk into a big forest,.. and sneaked away when he wasn't looking,....
we would be looking for his bones now,....

BTW,...what great posts,....wanderer1999
you bet many people of high intelligence feel they have to "dumb down" to make other like and accept them,....

and here's another thing I forgot until writing this,....you can be dyslexic, and of very high intelligence

Imagine for a moment the tools we have at our disposal for communication didn't exist,.....and you came across someone like Stephen Hawking,
sitting in his chair drooling, would you even for a nanosecond consider what we all know about him, was locked up in him?

Also the IQ test I was given as a child and the ones they give these days,......I suspect are quite a different thing,
I can't know for sure,.....because as I said the last time I was given one I was 12
 marita_b
Joined: 6/15/2005
Msg: 451
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Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 7/25/2012 2:44:34 PM
but in fact it helps if you can have a like minded conversation from time to time,....
 marita_b
Joined: 6/15/2005
Msg: 453
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Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 8/21/2012 3:08:32 PM
hahahahahaaaa,....so what you are saying,...I think is that, there are good and bad guys out there that range from intelligent, interesting, to bad, rude and crude, A-holes and that intelligences is only part of the equation to consider when you are looking for a mate,....

good for you then you are more than half way there,....good luck
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