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 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 230
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Dating Someone With A High IQPage 3 of 20    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20)
I'm not interested in their IQ. That just says how well they score on a test. I'm much more interested in their CQ, or their Curiosity Quotient. It's much more fun being with someone who likes to know stuff. That's why I prefer people who think. Some of those people have not learned to read or write. One woman could only count on her hands. She was still fantastic to relate to.

But I've met plenty of women in university and they didn't display any greater intelligence than anyone else.

So, I don't look at their IQ, but their desire to learn and know and understand more.


My experience? Once a person reaches a certain level of intellect, you start getting a negative return, because they have NO common sense! NONE! They might be nice folks, but they're a danger to themselves as well as the rest of society because they're incapable of using that grey matter between their ears for anything but the intellectual subject they've become experts on.
That was me in my teens and early 20s. Then, when I started hanging out with people with more understanding, I discovered that I had plenty of common sense, but that no-one had taken the time and trouble to show me what to do.

For me, it was like being born very, very physically strong. When I was dealing with someone who was not as intellectually strong as me, it took a lot of extra care and attention to communicate with them, just like a very strong child needs to learn to be careful not to crush someone else's hand. If I needed to learn something, I couldn't learn it in 1 minute, because other thoughts would occur to me, that just didn't occur to others. So people often wrote me off.

But no-one considered it too important that I lacked social skills, because they assumed that getting good grades was all that was important in school, and getting a good job was all that was important in adult life. I could get very good grades, and very good jobs. So people never took my issues seriously and often said they wished they could do what I did.

But when I went abroad, I mixed with a lot of people and found not everyone thought like that, and had hundreds of friends. When I came back, I went to university. I couldn't cook at all. Someone took 10 minutes to explain EXACTLY how to cook simple pasta, step-by-step. I followed it, and then started experimenting. Before I left, I used to make my own sauces from scratch. I still can.

I then learned how to make basic repairs on my home. Then, I learned how to run my own finances. Right now, I'm concentrating on learning about dealing with my own emotions and developing my social skills, particularly when it comes to dating.

I have met some really smart people who had social skills. But their parents encouraged them to have social activities, and gave them lots of love and encouragement, and NEVER made them feel like they were a lesser human being, just because they were smart.

I've even been told that it is a hindrance in a job, because your boss worries that you might take his job. Not that I would want his job, but they worry nevertheless.

So, I would question the observation that really smart people have no common sense. I just find that really smart people find it a little bit harder to learn common sense, but when they do, they do it far better than most people do.

I just find that other people sideline them, and most people refuse to be considerate to their gifts.

Just my observations and experiences.
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 233
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Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 8/12/2007 3:18:03 PM
I have an above average IQ...it is 135....It stands for Intelligent Quotient...an IQ is like the ability to "figure things out"...to put it on simple terms..... people with high IQ's can have "common sense" and beyond that...my entire family is also above average intelligience....but my family also has very good down to earth common sense as well....the terminology "book smart" may apply to an individual who may have to have guidance and instruction to figure a problem out...a person with high IQ...can figure it out with or w/out a book sometimes....the people with high IQ's are the "book writers" sometimes....I've read lot of statements here that i just don't feel are "on the mark" ....A person with high IQ...has a fine mind to work with ......I personally tend to be attracted to Intelligience and that doesn't have to come in a standard package type. I have the ability to know when I'm speaking to someone of high intelligience and also can spot a person with "ordinary knowledge"....anyway that's just my two cents today...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 242
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Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 8/13/2007 1:15:31 PM
Well, getting back to the subject at hand, "Dating Someone With A High IQ", I'd have to say it is refreshingly nice to date a smart person ,b/c per the statistics quoted above those with high IQ's are rare.
 new man on pof
Joined: 9/6/2006
Msg: 245
Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 8/15/2007 6:22:45 AM
IQ doesnt tell you anything about a person's personality now does it? Ted Bundy was a lawyer who had a high IQ, would you date a serial killer lawyer with a high IQ? LOL--What is in your heart and your actions speak louder than any IQ--
 duckling
Joined: 2/28/2006
Msg: 252
Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 8/15/2007 9:23:49 AM
I agree with most of these opinions. When you stop and do the "high IQ" math, we spend a lot more time in a relationship sharing and talking about experiences than we do between the sheets. I wouldn't insist on a genius level IQ nor refuse to date someone that had one. But, spending your days and nights with someone that can participate in intelligent conversation on a variety of subjects is an important quality to nurture respect.
 betterlate
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 254
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Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 8/15/2007 3:13:21 PM
A high IQ isnt an indication of good sense and most of the Mensa members are one or two points over the edge and spin their lives around the genius IQ... Some have the personality of a dialtone... no common sense or manners... The high (very high) IQ members I met were dull and boring... all they wanted to do is test each other with word/math games... it was like that is all they had going for them and bragged about it. A person with a photographic memory can actually do better than high IQs on the tests and games...and what good does it really do someone in a relationship?

It is a snore... to hear how smart someone thinks they are... my IQ is blah blah blah... well unless you are discovering the cure for cancer or making billons off the market,, it really doesnt mean a thing...

JMO

BL
 duckling
Joined: 2/28/2006
Msg: 256
Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 8/15/2007 5:24:23 PM
Self-absorbed, you say?

Doan thet juss make ya' wanna re-thunk the hole thang?
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 257
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Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 8/15/2007 5:25:03 PM
Hey fuzzy therapy your kinda cute....wanna go catch a nice quite corner in the library?

Lol...
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 258
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Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 8/15/2007 5:26:55 PM
Oh my, I forgot to stick to the subject....oh yeah...high IQ's are great

(fuzzy therapy your still cute hun...lol )
 69cobra
Joined: 7/28/2006
Msg: 267
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Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 8/16/2007 10:43:47 AM
I am one of those with a high IQ (156), but I don't think that it makes that much difference in dating... We just seem to catch on to things quicker than some.

Also; what some lack in brain power, they make up in other ways. Everyone is good at something!!

 houstonconnect2468
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 272
Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 8/23/2007 1:31:44 PM
I have dated someone with an extremely high IQ, but a an extremely low EQ, didn't have a clue about personal relationships etc. Not a good match whatsoever. A person needs to have balance
 houstonconnect2468
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 273
Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 8/23/2007 1:35:16 PM
you're right, brains are hot, but, so are emotions.
 Biggie_CA
Joined: 8/12/2007
Msg: 276
Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 8/23/2007 10:59:09 PM
I guess first, the OP is no longer a member.
Second, IQ tests are biased on the language you take them in. I was tested 3 times at age 13 and twice at . Both ages the tests were done in English and English was not my first language.
Third, what do people consider a High IQ?
I've never compared scores to my dates but I can say the ones that did try to compare with me weren't as high a score as they thought.
So, of the ones whose IQ's I knew, never dated anyone with a higher one than I. My tests at 24 years of age gave me a 175 the first time and since they thought I cheated the second test resulted in a score of 180.

But I'm just a silly guy
with an IQ that's high.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 280
Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 8/25/2007 12:43:14 PM

Genius causes mad cow disease.


And I thought prions were so very tiny. . . . .


.
 iamasiam
Joined: 2/16/2007
Msg: 295
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Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 9/8/2007 5:43:35 PM
IQ is a load of BS.

As long as the communication between two people are in sync, intelligence scores do not matter.

I came across a few guys who's only reason for joining mensa was so that they can impress to get a date.
 intensite
Joined: 6/26/2007
Msg: 296
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Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 9/8/2007 5:51:02 PM
Klugarsch,
You are SO right. Brains are damned sexy! But I have found, in my dating choices, that it is rare to find one as you described; that is, one who has the brains AND can express them via a sense of humor and a good personality. You should keep her around if you can!!
 Areyouforme
Joined: 8/23/2007
Msg: 297
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Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 9/8/2007 11:14:49 PM
I have not read all responses to this question - so I apologize if I'm repeating a comment that may have appeared somewhere between page 3 and 12.....

Intelligence does equate to educated and vice versa...

That being said - As an intelligent woman (I don't honestly know my IQ, but graduated with honor in my undergrade and masters), I find intelligence extremely attractive.. which is why I don't judge a book by it's cover.

I have met men that were not initially attractive, and then... they talk... and I findthat their level of intelligence can spark an attraction for me...

So - for all you so called "dorks, brainiacs.... etc..." there are some woman out here who just need to hear you talk.... and we can fall for you... so take a chance... we are not all superficial....
 canhelpu2
Joined: 6/21/2006
Msg: 301
Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/16/2007 8:16:24 AM
There is a vast difference between an intellectual and someone with a high IQ. Most psychology recognizes 8 different kinds of intelligence....
 canhelpu2
Joined: 6/21/2006
Msg: 303
Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/16/2007 9:19:05 AM
I love smart women since intellectual dialogue to me is a form of foreplay. So no intimidation here....... if anything I would encourage you to never dumb yourself down ever.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 306
Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/16/2007 9:25:48 AM

GIT ' ER DONE !!


...........................[ . . . . ]........


I surely do wish that peeps would stop blowing the thread's borders with this kind of
posting. Makes it nearly impossible to read a page.

Thank you for your consideration of others. . . .

 PacificStar
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 309
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Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/16/2007 9:46:21 AM
Personally picking someone for one attribute seems like a recipe for failure.

Do I like people who would test in the Higher IQ catagory? Usually if not frequently. Especially if their intelligence is spread over a variety of interests and they have used it to develope some people skills. I am a social creature but find creativity and ideas a serious draw. It would be very difficult for me to be drawn to someone with a limited vocabulary that could not carry on a conversation.

The idea that "smart" people are one dementional is reverse predjudice and a myth. Most extreamly smart people don't beat you over the head with it and know when to meet you on your own level. You would not talk adult topics with a teen but you still find them fun to be with occasionaly.

Do all extreamly smart people know or care about some of the social rules? Probably not as much because they have been segregated out and focused on their intelligence. They have learned survival doesn't depend on falling in with the crowd or submitting to the pecking order. Sometimes that makes them less ridgid, something I like, sometimes it doesn't. It is sad if they have been excluded and over compensate or quit trying to blend in entirely but it can make it a blast to share some of the everyday things if it is also firsts in their lives.

Would it be fun to be in a relationship with someone who I constantly felt I was having to reach intellectually to connect with? Who I felt often found me boreing? Or was frequently a teacher more than a peer? Probably not. Has it happen? No.

Have I been in relationships where a guy thought he couldn't "keep up" and was convinced that I would always "take charge" because I could figure out the solutions, or resented it when I did? Yes. If some guy starts out with "You would never love a guy like me" I walk away. Some things can be proved but preference, attraction, love and fidelity are not some of them.
 canhelpu2
Joined: 6/21/2006
Msg: 311
Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/16/2007 11:59:48 AM
This is correct since there are varying types of inteligence. One of those types is introspection/metacognition, which we atrribute to a high emotional IQ. The ability to examine your own thoughts in compare and contrast to others is what defines it. A higher IQ usually has a spill over effect in that supports at least an average to above average likely hood of a higher emotional IQ even though this is not a gurantee in all situations. Also, the other side of the fence must be considered here too when looking at an average IQ person involved with a higher IQ person. There are probably a good chance that the average person may not comprehend the higher person due to cognizant dissonace and different schemtic mindsets forming counscious state parameters.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 318
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Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/16/2007 5:32:27 PM
i have, i am told, a high intelligence. however, as a child the "IQ" test bored me so i put in random answers and left to have the rest of the day off! then i only had one wrong on the statewide reading test and was reading at college level in second grade (with a low iq!?*). the teachers were baffled and so they interviewed me. i confessed to not taking the iq test seriously and, to me, the question i answered wrong on the reading test was "illogical". later on in adulthood, i was considering testing and joining mensa with friends who wanted me to join them, but then i got lymes. forget it after that. my brain comes and goes, with respect to my abstract and calculating abilities, as well as memory. i am able still to think conceptually.

that being said, i had extreme grades in school --depending upon whether i liked the teacher. kind of like ADD and again, being bored with formal education. my choice in men resulted in marrying one mensa husband (which did not work out, because of his other issues). the remainder of the men in my life were smart, but not intellectual. some were street smart and some did not go to college or finish it. intellect without action is annoying to me. but that's me. everyone is different. it depends also on what each person in a relationship is lacking and whether this becomes a source of friction or a source of complimentary partner potential. i need someone who is calming to me. if i want to debate an issue, i don't do it with my manfriend. that's not what our relationship is about. he's more grounded than i am . so, he steadies me and all my "thinking" and "planning", etc. especially now with lymes, i need to quiet my brain.
 becca210
Joined: 7/26/2006
Msg: 323
Dating Someone With A High IQ
Posted: 11/16/2007 6:42:03 PM
I am extremely attracted to intelligence; however, I don't really enjoy the repeated company of someone that deems himself to be an "intellectual".
My IQ is above average but not too high. I can discuss many subject with knowledge; but
more importantly I am open to conversations about pretty much anything...as long as it
remains a conversation....not someone "talking down to me".
A few months ago, I had a man visit from California. I had Googled him and was amazed to
find him 3800+ times. His engineering/physics background was extremely impressive but
I wasn't sure how we would relate personally. Turns out we clicked really well. He has and still does travel extensively.....had lots of interesting things to discuss. However, he loved my voice and liked to hear what I had to say......he kept asking me questions that led to stories that he enjoyed...so we never got into any heavy technical discussions.

So who knows......I don't do STUPID...but I'm impressed by someone that just has a lot of
street smarts/honed skills/success of a personal nature. As long as a date is comfortable with himself....I can usually maintain the same level of comfort.
JMO
Becca
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