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Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 35
SEX NOISESPage 4 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)

Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 52

Posted: 1/4/2009 621 PM
due to my current piss me of list.... the only sound is zzzzzzzzzz

Just noticed this old post of mine!
No longer is there a piss me off list but the sound still is zzzzzz .... and
....I like it this way. Safest sex there is. Buahahaaaa!!
Therefore sorry, Addhomonym, there is no 'testing' :)
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 36
Posted: 5/18/2012 5:26:00 PM
Aww, rats. Oh well, it was worth a shot:)

I still think it's kind of a nifty idea though.

I have been criticized for not making enough noise before. Worrying about making noises simply detracts from focusing upon other, more pertinent things.

Besides, I don't have a winning lotto ticket anyway:(
Joined: 5/24/2012
Msg: 37
Posted: 6/3/2012 8:04:45 PM
Speaking of athletes making noises. I think the noises people make while exerting themselves exercising would be a pretty good indicator of what they would sound like in the bedroom.

Has anyone watched Women's tennis lately....what a bunch of screamers!
Joined: 5/29/2011
Msg: 38
Posted: 6/15/2012 1:24:21 AM
Well if you had your ear pressed against my window at first it would sound like nothing. Maybe a ¨Take ém off¨ or ¨Your not leaving here without me in you¨ but then it would be quiet like maybe straw falling on straw. Eventually I make hissing noises like a steam kettle, then a deeper more baritone chug-chug-chug hiss like a steam engine. I have a very strong diaphragm from running 35 miles a week and can move massive amounts of air. Often I have to tell her to shut up or my neighbors will complain. From 9pm to 7am I try to keep it down but man the thumping and banging and hollering at her to shut up and the distinctive sound of wet flesh slapping against wet flesh it keeps mixing and twisting and building and waning and grinding along and the whole time it is a cacophony of smacking lips and disgusting suction noises like a plunger just working the hell out of a clogged toilet. The sheets even creak like a strained rope if I need a strong base to really put the power down. I have to keep the bed tightly against the wall or way away from it or we have to stop and move it, same for the couch and the dining room chairs and the patio furniture. If she is getting spanked I will allow quiet wimpering but if she cant play right then we just start over at zero. Sometimes I am afraid my neighbors are going to call the cops what with all my loud humping noises. Its summer right now and with road construction going on I can leave the windows open in the middle of the day and just rail away but at night in the middle of winter we have to furtively hump. Keeping tight close into her seems to help but oh boy if I get her in a decent Thai Clinch I know I only have a minute or two before the show starts. Occasionally the loudest thing is me chastising her for not being silent. Its part of my charm. What an interestingly personal and graphic question. Hope I helped.
Joined: 2/1/2011
Msg: 39
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Posted: 6/15/2012 1:43:48 PM

disgusting suction noises like a plunger just working the hell out of a clogged toilet.

lol that's definitely what every woman wants to hear; that sex with them sounds like a plunger unclogging a toilet.

How romantic. lmao
Posted: 8/2/2012 12:30:28 PM
The most intruiging "noises" I heard once through the wall next door was a woman saying the following:
"Take my dress off, honey... , that's right, now my bra, good... now slip off my panties... OK! Now, if I EVER catch you wearing my clothes again, Bill, there's going to be trouble."
Joined: 7/2/2012
Msg: 41
Posted: 8/25/2012 11:22:14 AM
Not a turn on for you....but I know women who love it.....
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