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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > How do you really feel seeing your EX get engaged?      Home login  
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 ciaobaby71
Joined: 2/24/2008
Msg: 87
How do you really feel seeing your EX get engaged?Page 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
More power to them...I'd wish them all the best!
 PaulC_DJ
Joined: 3/26/2008
Msg: 88
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How do you really feel seeing your EX get engaged?
Posted: 4/14/2008 10:43:58 AM
its worse when you see your allmost ex wife 6months pregnant and engaged to the bloke who used to be your best mate.....
 PaulC_DJ
Joined: 3/26/2008
Msg: 89
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How do you really feel seeing your EX get engaged?
Posted: 4/14/2008 10:46:18 AM
were not even fully divorsed yet and shes having his kid and engaged and gettin my little kids to call him dad allready now how am i supposed to feel now???????????
 l.cipher
Joined: 10/20/2007
Msg: 90
How do you really feel seeing your EX get engaged?
Posted: 4/14/2008 12:53:36 PM
Hmm...as I always say, I don't generally post to forums, but every once in a while these things catch my eye and I feel like I have something to share. In this case, I can give two examples of how I feel/felt in the situation.
The first situation was w/ my ex-fiancee, approximately 9 years ago. We had one of those whirlwind relationships, and were engaged within 9 months, but never finalized things (I think the fact that her father and I almost got in a fist-fight had a lot to do with it, but she was getting loopy towards the end anyways, and we were both going through a lot of life-changing experiences - mine for the better, hers for the worse; this was after we had to stop living together for financial and other reasons). After eighteen months or so, it was over and we parted ways amicably. The last time I saw her, she had a child w/ some chump (really insecure, snotty little prick that she had under her thumb and he was terrified to death of me somehow jeopardizing their relationship by even talking to her...downright hilarious). The kicker was that they'd gotten strung-out together (word of mouth from a mutual friend whose apartment they'd robbed), despite the fact that when I first met him, he told me that he was totally straight-edge and had a huge cross and "Christian Soldier" tattooed on his back. All what I said was "there but for the grace of God go I...". I can't say that I don't occasionally miss the person she used to be, but that was then, this is now. C'est la vie.
The second is my ex-wife being "engaged" (while we were still technically married) to our old roommate (who I'd thrown out because he couldn't stop smoking crack and/or get a job). When I separated from her, and locked her out of the my house (technically in both our names, but she hadn't paid a single cent on it, nor a single bill since we'd been in it, so I'd say it's mine, and she didn't contact me to get her possessions until months later anyways), she hit the streets with this cat and got strung out on that glass d**k with him (the reason I'd separated from her is for catching a felony dope case and then lying to me about it, though there were a multitude of other reasons that had been building up for years before that last straw dropped; I'm not entirely innocent, but I didn't do the completely stupid things she did), and she also robbed my house twice (stealing items that I'd owned long before I was dating her, let alone married to her). I forgave her for this when she finally got into a rehab (which she had to do or else look at a long - at least in her eyes - prison sentence), but the guy that she is with now is on my "to-do list" if I ever see him (since I'm pretty sure he helped rob my house). So my feelings about her and all that are mixed. I'm friendly with her, and wish her well (to the point where I promised not to actively hunt this guy down), but I still hope that being clean (or at least enough that she has to be in order to not violate the sweet pre-trial probation deal she received instead of the usual two to ten that I would have received if I'd done the same stupid BS she did) will open her eyes up enough that she doesn't marry this idiot. But you know what it comes down to in the end? It doesn't keep me up at nights (well, I'm an insomniac anyways, but that's besides the point). I've moved on, case closed, end of story. If they want to and succeed at the happily ever after, cool, whatever. Myself, I'm concentrating on my company, taking care of myself, casually looking around for my tattooed, smart, sexy companion, and putting things back together (hey, a six-year relationship and marriage leaves you with a _lot_ of crap to clean up, as tax season recently reminded me). I'm sure all this is a bit more than everyone wanted to hear, but the hell with it, I drink too much coffee and type too fast (occupational hazard of being a computer scientist).
Before anyone starts in on me with a "drugs seem to be a common thread in..." speech, know this - regardless of government propaganda, illegal drugs aren't any different than legal ones (alcohol, tobacco, etc.; look at the effects of Prohibition if you want a direct parallel to the current drug situation in America). Personally, I don't care if I ever see another drug in my life (except for my Guinness and Tullamore Dew - you'll get those when you pry my cold, dead fingers off a pint of stout and and a glass of the finest Irish whiskey ever made, along with the coffin nail that will be hanging from my lips). I don't care if other people get high/drunk/whatever, only if it wrecks their life.
I think the best statement made here is "Life goes on"...maybe I'm posting the wrong stuff, because my heart was broken a long time before either of these two relationships (I chose to just post the two most "involved" ones as examples), and I've never bothered trying to super-glue it together and pretend that life is all sunshine and roses (I just swept the pieces together, dumped them in the hole where my heart used to be, and moved on; so far, it appears to be working, as my blood hasn't stopped flowing, I can have meaningful interactions with other people, and I only get maudlin on Valentine's Day - which I hate for being a BS holiday invented to keep Hallmark in business; side note...I DO have a tattoo of a heart w/ a big X through it on the inside of my right wrist, but I like it and I'm happy with it _and_ my life). I guess what worked for me in all cases - including the one that _really_ broke my heart - is letting go of the bullshit. At least on an emotional level. By that, I mean, you'll never forget any significant relationship, but don't tear yourself up about the "One That Got Away" or go on about how she/he was THE ONE. There ain't just one...or else you and I wouldn't be here (and if I need a further reminder, all what I do is think about all the people I've known that were married to the same person their entire lives, including family members, and look at how miserable they've been and how sullenly they spent most of those years). Having said that, I _am_ a closet romantic and wish that there were someone whom I could spend the rest of my years with happily, but I'm not holding my breath.
 Case of the Punx
Joined: 1/3/2008
Msg: 91
How do you really feel seeing your EX get engaged?
Posted: 4/14/2008 12:59:16 PM
Hehehe. Mine was pregnant before the engagement. It felt like victory!!!
 graysam
Joined: 9/22/2006
Msg: 92
How do you really feel seeing your EX get engaged?
Posted: 4/14/2008 1:01:19 PM
Pitty for the next poor girl! lol
 wallflower1
Joined: 1/15/2008
Msg: 93
How do you really feel seeing your EX get engaged?
Posted: 4/14/2008 1:05:49 PM
Life goes on!
Make your ex's as history as possible. It's only fair to to you and the new lady that will be coming into your life. That way you will have new space to develop something wonderful.
Say right now..."Today is the first day of the rest of my life." Visualize the path of what you want for the rest of your life and get on it.
Whatever is in the past and the pain that goes with it belongs in the past.
Whatever is over and done with in the past is over and done. Close the box. Feel free again.
When you do that, then ask your thread post question again to yourself. You will be amazed at how much you really couldn't care less.
 akmusic
Joined: 1/27/2008
Msg: 94
How do you really feel seeing your EX get engaged?
Posted: 4/14/2008 1:35:49 PM
Well I would be glad, that mean they can't terrorize you anymore and you can move on with your life and find someone who is tru\ly worthy.
 Red_N_Blue
Joined: 10/1/2007
Msg: 95
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How do you really feel seeing your EX get engaged?
Posted: 4/14/2008 6:18:28 PM
I wish my ex-bf got engaged. Then maybe he'd have something better to do than leave endless voicemails on my office VM (months and months after I have last had any sort of contact with him!!!). But that is only he'd manage to dupe some naive gal to put up with his antics long enough to actually get engaged - before seeing the truth about his personality and the extent of his problems. I suppose I have to keep hitting "delete" button a while longer...
 Pondside
Joined: 12/12/2007
Msg: 96
How do you really feel seeing your EX get engaged?
Posted: 4/15/2008 10:23:05 AM
In response to the op’s question:
 maybe301
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 97
How do you really feel seeing your EX get engaged?
Posted: 7/21/2008 9:17:37 PM
heh he Gotta ask.What does he mean when he says he's 90 % engaged? lol
 DEFLEPJEN
Joined: 7/13/2008
Msg: 98
How do you really feel seeing your EX get engaged?
Posted: 7/21/2008 9:51:32 PM
I recently found out my exfiance is now engaged...had a hell of a time getting over him, but I am honestly very happy for him, and maybe a bit envious that I don't have that in my life. I did send him a quick email telling him I wish them the best and all that good stuff.
 Tarika
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 99
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your ex advertises to you that they are engaged
Posted: 7/21/2008 11:27:23 PM
My ex remarried....it didn't bother me in the least.
 sbnt
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 100
How do you really feel seeing your EX get engaged?
Posted: 7/22/2008 9:07:50 PM
I could not possibly see one of my ex's getting married. Even if she did find someone who was willing to put up with her crap and marry her, she'd still be convinced that he'll leave the minute he finds someone better, although I think she looks to marriage as a way to get at least 16-18 years worth of spousal and child support.

Since she'd take the first chance to quit her job to take care of her many animals on a full time basis, she'd be milking him for every penny she could get once she divorced him.

With that said, if I found out she actually got married, I'd probably more feel sorry for the poor guy who got suckered into a life of misery
 Montreal_Guy
Joined: 3/8/2004
Msg: 101
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How do you really feel seeing your EX get engaged?
Posted: 7/23/2008 6:05:07 PM
It wouldn't bother me at all, honestly. If they are an ex, they are free to be as happy as they can make themselves. I don't ever wish them anything bad, and do wish them only the best in their lives.

All I ask is that they stay out of my life, as I stay out of theirs.

 ilietowomen
Joined: 5/29/2008
Msg: 102
your ex advertises to you that they are engaged
Posted: 7/24/2008 9:55:59 AM
Just take comfort in that fact that you boned that guy's wife before he to it.

Everytime he meets you, he will have to realize that you had his life partner and he's getting seconds.
 outofthedesert
Joined: 6/3/2008
Msg: 103
your ex advertises to you that they are engaged
Posted: 7/24/2008 2:08:17 PM
I would toast them and send flowers and be glad he had something to do besides call me and complain about how the divorce he wanted hurt him.
 harold2314
Joined: 10/13/2007
Msg: 104
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How do you really feel seeing your EX get engaged?
Posted: 7/25/2008 7:52:24 PM
Same here Montreal Guy. My second wife is engaged right know to the guy she cheated on me with and left me for and I am happy for her. She is happy and I am glad for her. Yes there was a time after she left that I didnt feel that way but as the love changes into something else you make a choose to eather let it make you bitter or, you say good for them and move on you cant live in the past if they are in love wish them the best. It is time to move past the past. Me and my second wife have come to terms with ever thing and we are friends know. I am still alone yes but I am happy for her. I have had feelings for a couple of people since we ended things but they havnt worked oout. I have meet someone on here I am crazy for. Weather it will work is for time to say. If it dont look up someone is out there. So just be happy for them already.
 sarsss
Joined: 5/25/2008
Msg: 105
How do you really feel seeing your EX get engaged?
Posted: 7/26/2008 11:23:04 AM
Who gives a **** about exes!!! If I still wanted them , I would not have broken with them.

Those who care even a little, still have feelings toward them!!! Many times my exes tried to make me jealous by dating different females soon after the break up when there is no way to make me jealous if I have no feelings toward them!!! How hilarious!!!
 AnglFlynToCloseToGround
Joined: 4/16/2008
Msg: 106
How do you really feel seeing your EX get engaged?
Posted: 7/26/2008 11:35:41 AM
I havent seen my ex in over 25 yrs .. About 2yrs ago he pops in our daughters lives ... My daughter sent me a pic of him and his 5TH wife in Florida ... He sure looks good for his age , f__cker ... Just wish a sharky would find him looking good and tasty and "CHOMP" .... ... Seriously I just hope he is happy ... We should all just move on and hope that our Ex finds happiness ...



 Judys
Joined: 2/9/2006
Msg: 107
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How do you really feel seeing your EX get engaged?
Posted: 7/26/2008 11:55:17 AM
My ex husband is engaged to a guy...now there is something to think about....and they are getting married in my backyard..As someone said..life goes on
 Smart Lass
Joined: 6/9/2008
Msg: 108
How do you really feel seeing your EX get engaged?
Posted: 7/26/2008 2:30:44 PM
Wouldn't bother me at all, I would actually be happy for them if they found the love of their life. It's nice to see people in love, no matter who they are.
 rebelkick
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 109
How do you really feel seeing your EX get engaged?
Posted: 7/27/2008 1:44:30 PM
Recently I found out that a guy who was the love of my life just got engaged. I had tried to get him to commit for almost 3 years to me and he couldn't. He started dating this girl a month after things started to get serious between us and had asked her to move in with him after 2 weeks of dating. Engaged after almost 4 months of dating. I look at him now and I'm glad that I didn't settle for him because I wouldn't have ever done better in my life. I still miss him and love him to death but I wish them all the best.....but my heart still breaks but less and less now.
 smileee4u
Joined: 11/8/2007
Msg: 110
How do you really feel seeing your EX get engaged?
Posted: 7/27/2008 6:41:26 PM
I would feel as if my heart were broken, because he belongs to me... after a 22 year marriage. It is a bond that will never leave. I would rather never find out, or never see him with another woman..... ever! I would cry all night long.... even though we have been divorced for two years. I would feel as if I have lost the love of my life, the love of my youth. I am crying already. I can never get over him.... even though I have moved on and live a better, more enjoyable life than when we were married. I am happier now, but the Loss of a 22 year marriage, is like losing your whole life.... in a strange way.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 111
How do you really feel seeing your EX get engaged?
Posted: 7/28/2008 2:47:53 AM
This is a pretty obvious question I think but I'll answer it. It sucks; but you get over it; there are times you feel like a failure or you feel sad but its a part of life.

My ex was married on the day I buried my grandma. I was the main speaker at her funeral and it wasn't fun; let me tell you.
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