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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?      Home login  
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 theone4u2
Joined: 8/20/2006
Msg: 1101
Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?Page 45 of 61    (21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61)
I think we fall in love with the fantasy of what we want that person to be or what he appears to be on here or on the other end of the phone.. It's just what you've said.. it's the thought of their touch .. the thought of their Kiss.. that makes it a fantasy .. it isn't until you actually meet .. and find out if that chemistry is there .. then that touch and that kiss turns into something special .. Or that True love.. until then .. I wouldn't call it LOVE I would call it infatuation ..
 shybee
Joined: 11/18/2006
Msg: 1102
Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 2/20/2007 5:12:07 PM
what are posters calling falling in love.............

sorry came in late.....maybe missed alot ........long thread.....congrats to OP...:)
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 1103
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Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 2/20/2007 5:14:59 PM
OP: it is possible to have an idea that you may have an interest in someone without having met them; it is absolutely impossible to be "in love" with someone you have never met, unless by "in love" you mean something very different from what i mean in using those words. in fact, you have to date someone, in person, for sometime, before you can begin to know if you may be in love with them. before that? you are in love with an idea, YOUR idea of who this person is. until you KNOW who they are -- which requires much time spent in one another's company, which requires weathering storms and seeing how this person deals with crises and with challenges and how he is under pressure -- you cannot possibly be "in love" with them. first you learn who they are, then you fall in love.

being "in love" with someone i've never met? very certainly a contradiction in terms.
 shybee
Joined: 11/18/2006
Msg: 1104
Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 2/20/2007 5:27:16 PM
in love is incompatable with anything but face to face?
what............I hear it said in the thread but no explanation..........
 dave4754
Joined: 1/11/2007
Msg: 1105
Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 2/20/2007 6:06:41 PM
Totally agree.............. unless touched what you are "falling in love with" is really a visual stimuli to your own imagination of the perfect mate............... ladies MEET us men most of us dont bite..........MEET us!!
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 1106
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Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 2/20/2007 6:09:19 PM
being in love means you KNOW this person very very well and that given that deep knowledge of this person, you have decided that they are so very cool and wonderful in your eyes, because they are so very dear to you, you are ready to give your whole heart to them and indeed to bring their life together with yours in a deep, intimate way.

yep, requires face to face, at a minimum. and LOTS of it. over an extended period of time.

if that stuff isn't going on? the words "i love you" are, as Shakespeare once termed it, a "baseless fabric" that will dissolve...
 whatlure2use?
Joined: 2/7/2007
Msg: 1107
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Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 2/20/2007 9:27:01 PM
I would like to share my experience.
I started talking to a man that lives almost four hours away. Not that far but far enough. In the very beginning we talked about all the what if's and how's...
He nor I could move for yrs to come. Transfering was not an option. However, we enjoyed talking so much that we continued to talk daily or at least a few times a week. The feelings that you described we both stated we felt.
Being mature enough to except that we could not go off of those feelings.
Before I knew it we had been talking about a year and stilling living our own lifes.
When my mother passed away he was constantly leaving messages and calling me to see how I was. Not one of the men I knew in person did that. Most didn't even call one time.
At some point we would say I love you but not like I am in love with you but just that we had come to a place that we felt love for the friendship that had developed and never allowing the attraction to be denied but not allowing it to change the closeness we developed.
He and I would share our dates with each other and would laugh at the craziness of the dating world at our age. You may ask why we didn't make the time to meet, well we were both afraid that in the event of a meet that what we shared would not be there in person or that it would be there and then what?, we are in love and can't see each other often because of distance, work and committments. I have been single long enough to know I don't want to have a long distance relationship not for long at least.
We shared things and understood things that no one even cared to ask about. I have never been that close to anyone. It's been almost two yrs now. We have made a balance and love our friendship that will always be. We are going to meet but as friends and only friends. I am happy that we were open enough to know what we felt and mature enough to know the facts. I would say to you, becareful because it's true that meeting someone in person can change everything you ever felt on the phone. It could inhance it or it could be an experience you will want to forget ASAP.
So meet and find out cuz you don't want to miss out on something great. Or waste your time on something that was not real. Either way take away experience from this sitiuation and use it in a possitive way with your next experience. I wish you luck.
 nancy8615
Joined: 11/15/2006
Msg: 1108
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Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 2/21/2007 1:04:21 AM
you gotta be joking.come to the real world, you are living a fantasy
 fallingbear
Joined: 1/25/2007
Msg: 1109
Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 2/21/2007 4:40:26 AM
yes, i believe it is.
because love you feel with anyone, is nothing to do with the other person?
feeling love is an inner perception, it only exists in oneself, it exists no where else?
i mean one dosent take a "love out of their back pocket, when a person they percieve that is
mr or mrs right, happens to be standing in front of them!!
when 2 people fall in love with each other, it is because they are each allowing themselves to feel "love", within a space they have each created, together.
i believe if you need mr or mrs perfect correctly right, to be exactly where you want them, and have the exact colour hair, eyes, and be perfect height,, then sadly, the love you seek, will be as the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow!!
in the words of " kahlil gibran".
love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own pleasure.
is not love,
but a net cast forth , with only the unprofitable being caught!!

so verissa,,,feel the love, do not be afraid to feel it, and it is irrelevant whether the other person gets to feel this love, as it is your love, not theirs.
peace
 ~Lost Angel~
Joined: 1/15/2007
Msg: 1110
Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 2/21/2007 8:09:38 AM
Yes it is possible . . . . it is called "fantasy land"!

We can make the mind believe whatever we want . . . but in REALITY when you met that person . . . . if that energy aka chemistry is not there . . . it's not there!!!!

I suggest the "good" friends approach. Stay grounded and don't take it personal if it does not click when meeting and nothing is there.

In my opinion, it's all about chemistry . . . it just clicks . . . it's like a "force" . . . and you connect on all levels.

Very difficult to find that "connection" . . . that is why it should be valued when found!

Best of luck,
 molly__blooming
Joined: 4/6/2006
Msg: 1111
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Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 2/21/2007 2:32:18 PM
whatlure2use, i find it really really surprising that in spite of how close you seem to have become with this guy, you have never met each other even though you're only 4 hours apart? i am in NYC and met a guy from DC and that was not a big deal at all, the distance between our cities being about 4 hours give or take. what do you think is causing the two of you to hesitate so? it has to be more than a simple 4 hour distance. i am talking to a really lovely guy who is in athens; now if he and i were unable in the next two years to meet and take our conversation into a cafe and off of the phone or e-mail, well, that might be a bit more understandable. but 4 hours?

it seems to me that if the two of you feel you might be in love, you would meet and make it real, and keep it real, and try to bring your connection into the reality of your lives and out of cyberspace and other unreal places.

just my 2 rupees...
 greenbkpr
Joined: 2/2/2007
Msg: 1112
Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 2/21/2007 6:03:32 PM
I think you could believe that it is love. But it takes 2 years of a relationship to know that it is love and not just lust.

Let more bashing begin.
 Antonia2
Joined: 9/17/2006
Msg: 1113
Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 2/21/2007 6:11:20 PM
Try to look at dating sites as an amusing pastime something you do when your bored. Don't let it replace real life. Better yet think of this place as an "introduction service" ...you don't ACTUALLY have the relationship here! If you find someone that arouses your curiosity then go meet them, don't share your secrets by email! lol Or else you may fall in love with a total jerk ...and ladies don't we do that easy enough in the real world! Its easier to spot a liar or con artist when he's face to face. Your not saving time by a lengthy email corespondence your wasting it.
 spartangurl616
Joined: 1/13/2007
Msg: 1114
Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 2/21/2007 6:33:54 PM
I could only hope to meet someone who is described in your post. I had that once and It was taken from me.
 whatlure2use?
Joined: 2/7/2007
Msg: 1115
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Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 2/21/2007 10:38:45 PM
I know that it seems so easy to jump in the car and head out to meet someone and at another time it would have been.
We met on the computer emailed once or twice, exchanged numbers and have never really done the computer thing again.
We hit it off from the first phone call. We both had things going on at the time that kept us with very little free time and the free time didn't come at the same time.

Three months of talking on the phone we became so close... We had set up some time to finally meet. Just before the planned meet we talked about how we felt for each other and how crazy that was... and then the subject of if it was this great after we meet then what?

We already knew our schedules clashed.
We would have little to no time to see each other. Then we talked about who would move and niether of us could move for numerous reasons. So we found ourselves afraid to meet at that time. More so, I was afraid to meet.

I told him that I would only be his friend and that we would have to talk less often. I had tried a long distance relationship before.
It is expensive and the time it takes from the things I have to do such as work,family and kids .... made things hard.
I didnt want to say I have a man but still feel loneyly.
It was the facts of our lifes that changed things for us. I have learned from the past and I know what I can and can't do. We were being honest with each other.
Well, needless to say we still talked alot. But I just kept in mind that it was something that wasn't going to happen, not now. So I wanted to appreciate the friendship that had developed out of this fanasy phone relationship we seemed to have found ourselves in.

Like I said time went by and we shared events and holidays, maybe on the phone but he and I still kept each other involved in things.
If we were to have less responsiblities and commitments one of us would have moved in a heart beat.
In fact we have set up a weekend for me to go and see him. It is a meet long over due but it will be done as friends.
It will take place in March, third weekend.
I am nervous and he is too.

He dates others and so do I and we talk about them and give advice to each other.

A BIG PART OF ALL OF THIS IS I AM SHY AND VERY INSECURE WITH MY APPEARENCE. So part of that time I was so afraid he would be dissappointed. I was afraid. Self projecting.

Not much has changed except I am meeting him as a friend and not as a possible lover/partner.....So I am much more at ease with friends then a date.......If he is my true friend (which I believe he is) then he wont care what I look like. right?
 Verissa
Joined: 1/7/2006
Msg: 1116
Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 3/2/2007 9:03:02 AM
^^I don't know why you would be insecure about your appearance...you're a very beautiful woman. I hope that you have a nice meeting. Mine was and we still are but as you said sometimes life gets in the way.
 newman1
Joined: 1/30/2007
Msg: 1117
Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 3/2/2007 9:12:09 AM
It is possible to develop a strong friendship, but to fall head over heals takes alot more than a long distance courtship. A long distance courtship does have some advantages, you communicate more in a safe setting instead of facing the intimidating first date problems. I like to get to know someone well before making a decision and when a person spends time with you on email or the phone, you do get a sense of who they are. But in the end, you have to take it to the next step and meet face to face. This will inevitably hold some disappointment, if you let yourself think he is the knight in shining armor. I'd rather a person revealed the worst things in their lives up front so that there is nothing to surprise me when we meet. A long distance relationship is a good way to break the ice and share some deeper feelings and experiences BEFORE meeting in person. Don't fall too fast, guard your heart and just let things happen naturally. If it works great, but don't put all of your eggs in one basket too soon. Good luck and God bless.
 i love hockey
Joined: 2/7/2007
Msg: 1118
Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 3/2/2007 12:34:22 PM
Nope its not. You are living in fantasy land and this is Daytime Emmy award all the way.
There is no logic to this whatsoever. Infact if anything its ridiculous and you need to get your head out of the sand.
Sounds to me like you are in love with love. Get real.
 BeerShark
Joined: 10/5/2006
Msg: 1119
Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 3/2/2007 2:15:31 PM
It takes 2 years of dating to figure out if it's love? In whose rule book? Where and/or how did they come up with that number? Why not 1 year or 3? I am 44 yrs old and suffer no illusions about love but I do know when I am in love and when I am not. I have fallen in love quickly, and I have grown into it over time. As I look back, I can think of no time when I can say," I thought I loved her but I was wrong." I have met some one on line. We have not met "in the flesh", and yet I know that I love her. That doesn't mean we go running headlong into a full blown affair there are things to be discussed and decissions to be made about this love,and no matter what the outcome it doesn't mean I was wrong about love.
 Mr.Santiago
Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 1120
Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 3/2/2007 2:20:26 PM
Of course it is... you're doing it right now.

Rick
 GirlOnline
Joined: 1/16/2007
Msg: 1121
Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 3/18/2007 3:31:17 PM
I think you can love someone you never met, but not be IN love with them until you meet them and really find out what they are like. You can know someone for months/years on here and still not really KNOW them... it's all different in person.
 ann_la_habra24
Joined: 12/30/2006
Msg: 1122
Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 3/20/2007 5:01:43 AM
i cant resist it
 whatlure2use?
Joined: 2/7/2007
Msg: 1123
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Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 4/5/2007 10:37:01 AM
BEERSHARK, I agree with every thing you have said. Perfectly

There are two parts to the equation:
The feeling of love and the logical part, the part that takes the time to see if you are on ENOUGH of the same pages in life to have a commitment.
Yes, jumping into a commitment would be foolish just because you have the love feeling. Even if you met at work, party, gas station or on the computer.

I think it comes in two ways:
For some people the way it works is that they have met someone and as time has gone on they have found that they have many things in common and aim for the same goals and get along well ...etc... so eventually they find that they have fallen in love with that person.
Logic and then love........thats cool.

Others have fallen in love quickly and need to keep a slow pace to see if the logic part will cause them to make a commitment.

THEN WE HAVE THOSE THAT GO HEAD ON FULL SPEED ELOPE TO VEGAS AND MARRY A PERSON JUST BECAUSE OF THE OVERWHELMING FEELING OF LOVE.
THEN WE HAVEE THOSE THAT LET A GREAT PERSON WHO WOULD HAVE BEEN A PERFECT LIFE LONG PARTNER GET AWAY JUST BECAUSE IT THE BREATH TAKING KIND OF LOVE WASNT THERE........
Either way,
Different strokes for different folks.........
What ever works for you and brings you a smile and happiness more power to ya!

 shybee
Joined: 2/24/2007
Msg: 1124
Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 4/10/2007 6:23:33 PM
I believe it.....
 .Marc
Joined: 2/11/2007
Msg: 1125
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Is it possible to fall in love with someone you never met?
Posted: 4/10/2007 6:24:44 PM
It's possible... but it is far more likely that you've idealized them in your mind.

Knowing someone on the internet isn't the same as knowing someone in real life.
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