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Joined: 2/20/2006
Msg: 26
Dating and DepressionPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Well,,maybe not a usually ,,life long thing,,warm,,,,but,,even those that are not diagnosed with depression,,,we do have our down days as well.

Maybe is a matter,,,of accpeting it,,and living with it,,and juts be proud of who you are,,and what you can bring to others lives.

I am sure you can bring into someones life much happiness, and in return,,it can equal out the bad days you may have,,

People tend to walk around and pretend to be truely happy,,,,and they are NOT,,they just are not capable of admitting it

One thing yu got,,you are true to yourself,,,all that matters girl
Joined: 12/26/2005
Msg: 27
Dating and Depression
Posted: 3/31/2006 10:29:30 PM
ITA with lmao.

Be proud of all the work you've done and be proud of the person you are right now. Be proud that you can share this with others. Working through depression is not easy. Yes, accept, own it and keep on going. Live now, not later. You deserve a good life and love. Hey you are doing great!!
Joined: 6/28/2005
Msg: 28
Dating and Depression
Posted: 3/31/2006 11:01:30 PM
I used to be in depression. After college, it hit me pretty bad.
Joining the military was the cure for me.
To my luck, I didn't stay there for long, just went through training.

I feel depression is 'not knowing how to deal with your current situation in life'.
It's a never ending cycle. Only way out is taking some drastic measures and being determined no matter what.

It's one of those things you need to experience to know it. But you don't wanna experience it if you really knew what it was.

Joined: 3/27/2006
Msg: 29
Dating and Depression
Posted: 3/31/2006 11:16:20 PM
If you have to ask that guess it still isn't time. I have a friend in the same situation, its her friends that keep her head up. She is an atractive girl inside and out...when the day comes that she knows she's ready she'll have no problem moving on....I think the same will apply to you. But you will know when your ready not just think it.
Joined: 1/25/2006
Msg: 30
Dating and Depression
Posted: 3/31/2006 11:52:17 PM
with all due respect...get off of this site..
i work with youth with mental health issues & i can tell you that positive reinforcement, honesty & support through understanding helps deal with depression...
and on my opinion people are insensitive & rude...because they can hide behind a computer.. may personalize the comments. or view some of the experiences as rejection.
be careful for yourself..
all the best
Joined: 3/30/2006
Msg: 31
Dating and Depression
Posted: 3/31/2006 11:52:51 PM
I totally relate and I've been wondering the same thing. I've been divorced for 2 years and dated a little but nothing worth writing home about. I have plenty of men asking me out but as soon as they find out about the baggage I'm dragging behind me they bolt. I don't blame them but I try to be upfront from the get go so they know what to expect. I am constantly told "it doesn't bother me" and "I want to be there for you" but up to this point it's been all lies and broken promises.
I'm a very tenacous woman and have a lot to give as far as intelligence and caring about people. I don't have a choice regarding my medications and I tell people that and get full understanding and support but it's always a temporary. I've ceased all dating at this point because the imminent rejection is brutal on the self esteem.
I'm babbling now but I really want to say thanks for getting the courage to post this. It's nice to know I'm not the only one.
If you would ever like to chat I'm on MSN or (YahooIM qt30hamilton)
Joined: 2/17/2006
Msg: 32
Dating and Depression
Posted: 4/1/2006 12:52:29 AM
Have you ever looked in to an anxiety / depression support group in your area there great places to find people that are in similar situations . .good luck
Joined: 3/4/2006
Msg: 33
Dating and Depression
Posted: 4/1/2006 8:42:02 PM
I think getting off this sight is bad advice. There are rude people everywhere not just here. You are reaching out to people simply by being in this forum. That is a good thing and most are responding to you in a positve way. I went through it shut out the whole world, that can make it really bad. Baby steps take your time, I Know you cannot get the thoughts out of your head impossible. They just repeat themselves. You might questions the meds if they are not working for you.
It passes in time, if it repeats like anything else you will get better in dealing with it. As for dating, that is a tough question, if it does not work out it will really sting. Cling to the people that are truly concerned about you. ALWAYS keep reaching out, you will find alot of people will understand!!! Good Luck
Joined: 8/9/2005
Msg: 34
Dating and Depression
Posted: 4/1/2006 10:41:51 PM
Hey there warm sugar, don't take yourself off the market just because you think you're a whack job. A lot of guys except this with no problem. You see, everybody is some kind of nut. It's all a question of what flavor. The trick is to find the right kind of nut job for what ever your own neuroses are. Personally, I'm rather attracted to women who are somewhat mentally imbalanced. I mean, if they're too far out there. I can't deal with it, but if they're just a little wacky. I find it kind of endearing. Also, it seems the crazier they are the better they are in bed. And that's always nice. I'm sure they think the very same things about me.
Joined: 3/27/2006
Msg: 35
Dating and Depression
Posted: 4/1/2006 11:52:57 PM
marshw dude do you know anything about depression?

What kind of statement is that...
don't take yourself off the market just because you think you're a whack job. A lot of guys except this with no problem

The trick is to find the right kind of nut job for what ever your own neuroses are.

This person is asking for help and your saying to accept being a wack job, find someone that is as norotic as you. And to say this....

it seems the crazier they are the better they are in bed. And that's always nice.

Are you deranged?

I think you may want to look up what depression is, saying this isn't going to help someone battling it - if anything drive them farthur away.
Joined: 3/4/2006
Msg: 36
Dating and Depression
Posted: 4/2/2006 8:59:20 AM
Marshw, you really need help! She is not a whack Job, she is suffering from depression
She is reaching out for understanding, and compassion.
I doubt very much anyone finds your comments flattering or helpful. I think it is comments like that, is why the other guy told her to get off the site
Joined: 4/11/2007
Msg: 37
view profile
Dating and Depression
Posted: 12/15/2010 9:07:36 PM
Its tough trying to find that one person that gives you the strength to want to be better than you are. Its a horrible feeling when we are rejected b/c of who we are or how we think. My depression is considered mild but its subtle in what it does. I am medicated but I still have other things I am working on. I have been trying to find someone who is understanding, supportive and accepting of my flaws.

Anyone who says "I have no baggage" on their profile is lying. Everyone has baggage. Just comes down to if its a carryon or a complete luggage set.

We should accept each other for who we are and what we are capable of. We should never judge or be judged by how we think or what "issues" we might have.

Suffice it to say, take your time. you will know when you are ready. I know people can be cruel and breakups can be harsh. We usually get into relationships faster than we should.

Figure out what you want, then seek it out slowly. It will all come to you in the end.
Joined: 9/27/2010
Msg: 38
Dating and Depression
Posted: 1/5/2011 5:15:56 PM
As long as you dont think that finding someone will cure it you will be fine :D
Joined: 4/1/2010
Msg: 39
Dating and Depression
Posted: 1/5/2011 8:03:21 PM
if some told me they had problems and where on meds id delete there number and find a new gurl
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 40
Dating and Depression
Posted: 1/7/2011 10:48:28 PM
I personally think that you should try and get some counseling first.
if you have already done thatm and you still are having issues due to an event.
Put in your profile that you are interested in freinds,
take things slow and see what happens.
Do not let anyone elses idea, of what they want influence how you treat yourself.
It helps if you talk for a long time and really get to know someone first.
 Lil Brooker
Joined: 6/17/2008
Msg: 41
view profile
Dating and Depression
Posted: 1/8/2011 7:31:54 PM
Put yourself out there and open up for the possibilities of dating. I expect that your depression will be lightened by human contact and extremely lightened by the warm fuzzies. You are not the only person in the world who suffers from depression; there are many and you may meet one of them or at least someone who is empathetic.

Whether you divulge your situation up front is up to you. Here is my experience: I was in a long relationship with a bipolar man and I don't want to do that again, so I would appreciate if someone with the illness would tell me upfront instead of three months down the road after I'm "hooked". To be fair, I should also reveal to potential dates that I take anti-depressants. However, I just did that recently and I haven't heard from him since.
Joined: 12/18/2010
Msg: 42
Dating and Depression
Posted: 1/11/2011 10:38:58 PM
It all comes down to the severity of the problem of course. I think only the person themselves can make that judgment. If you think you're just going to potentially drag someone down, then maybe wait a while. Otherwise... There's plenty of people out there who are probably a lot worse off than you, and they don't give it a second thought. If you're thinking about how it will affect somebody else, then chances are you're probably OK. It's the people that think they have no problem that are the ones who are in real trouble. Normally I would recommend honesty... But the harsh reality is that it's way too easy for people to run if they know about a problem up front. It's a vicious circle, because by nature, other people don't want to be around people with problems... But if you are constantly shunned by other people, you're just going to get worse. So I would do the best you can and just try to play it cool. If everything goes fine for a while, break it to them slowly and see what happens. Some people have zero tolerance for issues, and others are OK with it. If they have zero tolerance, then it's probably best you found that out sooner anyway.
Joined: 1/4/2011
Msg: 43
Dating and Depression
Posted: 1/13/2011 2:33:25 PM
"Ok, here's my question... Should a person with issues still be putting themselves out there? Should you tell someone right up front that you've got issues or is that like shooting yourself in the foot? Some bad crap happened in my life years ago and I turned from a very date-active person to someone totally anxious about even meeting up for the first time.

I'm depressed, I got meds, but I still want to find love. What do I seriously do about all this? I think my man-anxiety fuels my depression because I used to be so capable of that.

Anyone relate to this? Is it worth it to take the plunge or am I setting myself up for failure?

Thanks for your honesty."

I think one of the conditions to be ABLE to dat via POF...

Im sure all these threads testify that fact.
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 44
Dating and Depression
Posted: 1/13/2011 4:03:24 PM
Everyone has issues so does this mean that no one should date?
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 45
Dating and Depression
Posted: 1/13/2011 5:20:16 PM
Personally, I think a person should be happy with his/her life as it is, alone, before looking for a relationship. Do something about the depression first. Look for a relationship second. A relationship won't fix what's wrong.

Everyone has issues so does this mean that no one should date?

I don't have any issues I intend to fix. Anyone with issues he/she needs to deal with ought to deal with those issues and be satisfied with him/herself before getting involved with another person.
Joined: 6/4/2010
Msg: 46
Dating and Depression
Posted: 1/23/2011 11:11:49 PM
um hello my name is lisa i just wondering do u have email or yahoo messager i really need talk to u and need someone talk to im hard of hearing impair but do read the lips im 46 so if that ok with u care can we talk sometime ?? i have alot of problem about depression i have been depression for long long times so please write me back thanks,,,,lisa
Joined: 7/31/2010
Msg: 47
Dating and Depression
Posted: 1/26/2011 7:24:33 PM
If you have depression its like ANY OTHER ILLNESS. You will have to learn to live your life DESPITE it. You can`t wait for it to go away any more than a diabetic can wait for his illness to go away... its the hand you were dealt. Now all you can do is decide whether or not you are going to let it win...
Joined: 1/7/2010
Msg: 48
view profile
Dating and Depression
Posted: 1/28/2011 5:05:22 PM
My Mom suffered from depression her whole life.

Yet, the only time I ever saw my Dad depressed, was when she passed on. They were married 55 years before she passed on. He, never once wavred or failed to help including those periods she needed to be alone.

Sure, love can over come another person suffering from that. Thats what love is.

Let them know, and if they don`t want to continue?

Then its not love, count your blessings you found out and move on.
Joined: 5/11/2008
Msg: 49
view profile
Dating and Depression
Posted: 1/28/2011 5:28:47 PM
No one is baggage free no matter what they tell you. You may as well mix with the rest of them, they are no bargain!
Joined: 12/24/2007
Msg: 50
Dating and Depression
Posted: 1/28/2011 5:56:51 PM

Personally, I think a person should be happy with his/her life as it is, alone, before looking for a relationship. Do something about the depression first. Look for a relationship second. A relationship won't fix what's wrong.

I agree with that.

If a person is on medications and is still depressed, that means that the meds are not working. Something needs to be doneā€¦. Either dose increase, or medication change, or a different shrink
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