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Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 51
Out of my leaguePage 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I look at it simply like this.
If a woman thinks she is too attractive to go out with me before she even knows
more about me other than, "he's the guy that works over there or whatever" then I am out of her league.
I aint fabio or Adonis, but I have gone out with a few real (can we say hotties? lol) attractive women in my time.
Thes are the women that took the time to get to know me.
I don't rely on my looks Hell, I can't lol
I rely on my character. It goes a long way.
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 52
Out of my league
Posted: 4/21/2006 1:35:08 AM
Personally,I don't feel one person is any better than
the next person.If someone is so shallow & self-absorbed
as to tell another your out of my league,they've put themselves
on an invisible pedestal.

We all have our own preferences,sure & what we seek in a potential
mate but "out of my leaguer's" are in for a rude awakening to life &
the general acceptance of all people.

And,in time,Karma will bite them in the arse & give them a reality check..
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 53
Out of my league
Posted: 9/15/2008 6:06:24 AM
I used to think that certain 'Types' were 'Out of my League'....
Until I fell in Love with one .. that Fell in Love with Me, TOO..!!!
I'm generally self-deprocating and shy.. not being the Tom Cruise-type....
..But I _have_ been called a sweet, kind-hearted, comical and considerate Gentleman ..
with a lot going for me ..
Still .. I do have a certain criteria for 'attraction'
.. who Doesn't ..
And .. I have been known to Fall in Love _Every_ time that I sign-in, here....
I know 'Pretty' when I see it ..
but I do know that there's a certain amount of conceit that goes along with 'Pretty'..!
..and I'm realistic, too...
There are just too many legitimate factors to get in the way of a Long-distance Romance ..
.. without having most women that I contact use the Absolute _flimsiest_ excuse
to Not to take the least amount of interest in getting to know me better........
* Distance *
 german chick 1968
Joined: 5/13/2008
Msg: 54
Out of my league
Posted: 9/15/2008 6:13:19 AM
nobody is ever out of your league .
if you dont ask , you wont know , right , have backbone and ask , but be prepared to meet some mean people ..
not everyone is mean and stuck up ...
good luck
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 55
Out of my league
Posted: 9/15/2008 12:49:20 PM
Out of your league? How can someone be out of your league? I say there is nobody out of my leaqgue. saying that means that somebody is too good for you? Come on! Nobody is too good but they may be different! We have to practice self love and appreciation. Myself,l I feel I am "as good as everyone else". Somebody may be thinner or richer or taller but they are NOT better than me.
Baby, you need to beleive in yourself and know that the only limitations on this planet is just you.
Joined: 7/19/2008
Msg: 56
Out of my league
Posted: 9/15/2008 1:15:37 PM
They always said,"Fake it until you make it." I guess that could kinda apply here.
Joined: 6/3/2008
Msg: 57
view profile
Out of my league
Posted: 9/15/2008 5:39:29 PM
Who started labelling people? Who knows? you could end up being perfect for one another! it never hurts to try!

Rock On!
Joined: 2/20/2005
Msg: 58
view profile
Out of my league
Posted: 9/16/2008 12:12:01 PM
I know in high school I had a tendency to like people out of my league. Had a friend tell me to stop picking out rich people. Now, in a way she had a point. Social class matters to some.

The point is that with this online thing, it's hard. It's too hard to know a personality. I don't know if your friends are right, but sometimes you can get lucky. If the girl doesn't want to get to know you, then don't waste more time.
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 59
Out of my league
Posted: 9/16/2008 1:08:25 PM
Years ago an ex was talking to me about her fantastically beautiful and athletic friend, Lisa. She did this and that and was simply wonderful. And, she's out of your league. Ha ha ha.

The fact is, we all make choices in our lives that separate us from other groups. Some of us are happier with fewer material possessions, but require a lot of travel and adventure. We make choices to optimize a certain lifestyle. We hold certain things dear, while downgrade other things.

So the whole league idea doesn't work. Someone simply isn't above someone else. True, there are gross standards of attractiveness and being successful, but is a highly successful but average looking man lower on the scale than an attractive but moderately successful man? It's not all clear cut.

So I have to laugh at people that subscribe to the caste systems they then become victims of.
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 60
Out of my league
Posted: 9/16/2008 1:20:21 PM
Hey OP......even though this thread is a couple of years old now and you have probably found someone or maybe you haven't.

For what it's worth.....I agree.....errr are being stupid in regards to this "out of my league" system for dating....JMO
Joined: 8/31/2007
Msg: 61
Out of my league
Posted: 2/17/2009 7:31:42 AM

Are you telling me you've never seen a less than attractive guy with a hot woman? Do you think it's all about money or fame? It isn't. I've seen plenty of less than good looking men without a penny to their name able to land some very hot women.

reminds me of that Joe Jackson song, "Is she really going out with him?" but it's very true. The fact of the matter is that until you enjoy yourself, and your life, penniless or otherwise, how do you expect someone on the outside of it to enjoy it? Until you understand who you are, and what you're made of, and are HAPPY in the discovery (or at least working on improvement) it's a hopeless quest to find someone who will care about you, since you don't care about yourself enough to face the mirror.

There's plenty of women who are out of my league - no doubt about it, but they have placed themselves there, not me...and it really doesn't matter to me a bit when it comes right down to it. I know myself pretty well, and I know I have issues to deal with, but everybody does...on a good day, when my toes are tapping to some Joe Walsh tune, and my smile is working, some unbelievable contacts are made, then, on a bad day, when I'm dragging a tow line, nothing happens.

Sometimes life can feel like that skit on SNL "Lowered Expectations" and that happens to everybody now and then, I'm sure, or they wouldn't have put the scene on TV more than once. It's a fact of life, one to come to grips with, but it doesn't mean that anyone needs to be relegated to the position of settling for something less than what you know moves you. That's just wasting time, and possibly setting your partner up for some immense pain when they finally realize you "settled" for them instead of being honest in yourself about what you desire, and that's wrong to begin with, very wrong...and yet it happens more often than anyone will admit to, I think.

Best wishes to all you fishes!

Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 62
Out of my league
Posted: 3/24/2009 6:13:16 PM
Hey Guy

Have you ever noticed that women will often-times say one
thing, but mean another?

I'm sure you have experienced this before.

For instance, sometimes a girl will say "I only like to date
guys who are taller than me."

And then, the next guy you see her out on a date with is
about a foot shorter than she is.

Sometimes a woman will say she prefers to be taken
out to dinner and a movie.

And then, she tells you the best date she ever had was
when a guy took her on a walk on the beach.

Sometimes the woman says she's looking for a guy with
a nice, steady job who can provide for her.

And then, she's seen gallivanting around with some
dirt-poor schmooze that doesn't have a penny to his

No matter how you look at it, lots and lots of women
say they respond to one thing, when in reality, they
ACTUALLY respond to something else.

This strange phenomenon is called "Girl Speak."

A big problem guys have is they don't know how to
properly translate "Girl Speak," so they end up taking
what the girl says literally.

But this is a huge, HUGE mistake!

Women very rarely say what they actually mean. And
because of that, they respond really well to guys who
know how to interpret what they are really saying.

Take me for instance...

I'm a 40 year old, over weight man and definitely no winner in the
looks department. (and not rich)

But I've dated women who say they aren't into "fat"
guys. In fact, they actually prefer guys who "take
care of themselves" and "go to the gym."

Yet they still agree to date me!

I've dated girls who were way younger than me. One
of my more recent girlfriends was 26 years old. I'm 40.
This girl wasn't interested in dating an older guy, yet
for me she made an exception.

I dated one girl who only liked black guys. Me, I'm white
as white can be. Seriously they don't get any whiter
than good ole' Rick. But again, the girl made an exception.

If I had taken their "Girl Speak" literally, I'd have never
gotten past the initial meet.

But I know the key to by-passing the most common
"Girl Speak" objections.

You know the ones...

"I only like guys with great bodies."
"A guy who wants to take me out needs to have a nice car."
"I want a tall man."
"I want a guy my own age."
"I have a boyfriend."
"I'm not looking for a serious relationship."

Blah, blah, blah.

So how do I do it? Well, it's fairly simple actually...

Don't try and change their minds... change their EMOTIONS.

When a girl tells you about a specific thing she finds
attractive, you got to understand that's not a LOGICAL
attraction trigger she's sharing with you.

No, sir.

When a girl tells you something like "I like to date tall
guys," she's not telling you she's attracted to guys who
are tall.

She's telling you she's attracted to the way tall guys
make her FEEL.

Normally, if you ask a girl why she likes tall guys, she
will share with you that maybe she "feels safer" with
tall men.

So in that case, she's looking to feel secure with the guy
she's dating.

Guess what? You don't have to be tall to make a woman
FEEL secure! You just need to know how to trigger that
emotion inside her.

So let's say you want to get a woman attracted to you - no
matter what you look like.

Do you know how to make a woman feel that kind of

The key is making her feel FUN when she's around you.
If you can make a woman feel fun, chances are she'll
feel attracted.


Because attraction is all about feeling good! And if you
can create some good old fashioned sexual tension in
there - guess what?

She's going to be SEXUALLY attracted to you!

My dating workshop is all about how to
make a woman feel attracted to you - no matter how
shy you are or what you look like.

If you've ever been frustrated by "Girl Speak," you simply
need to check out my Date guru profile at:

or, just continue to be fooled by "Girl Speak" and never
get attraction from the women you want.

The choice is yours.

Talk soon,....

Joined: 3/17/2009
Msg: 63
Out of my league
Posted: 3/24/2009 10:37:26 PM
I say go for it because you never know what someone is looking for. I mean look at all the hot models who date guys that you would think they wouldn't look at let alone marry and date. the point is we are all looking for the same thing in the long run and you may be a gorgeous girls chance at happiness.
Joined: 2/22/2009
Msg: 64
Out of my league
Posted: 3/24/2009 11:54:28 PM

I'll probably sound like a broken record here, but why on earth would anyone wish to measure their on worth - based on someone else

well said.No one on the planet is out of anyone elses league.If someone doesnt want to give you a chance or acts like they are better than everyone else then **** em,let 'em rot.
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 65
view profile
Out of my league
Posted: 3/25/2009 7:43:46 AM
Not sure what "league" you mean (looks, socio-economic status, etc.), but ask them out anyway and see what happens. Try to find topics of conversation together. That'll determine whether you're both in the same "league". As far as looks, well, let HER be the one to give you the cold shoulder to be the judge of that. If you're already heaping that on yourself, you're doomed. She's flesh-and-blood, same as you. She's only a woman, not a goddess.
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 66
Out of my league
Posted: 3/28/2009 6:14:48 PM
I do not believe in leagues myself; I believe you should have some standards, you want to be with somebody you want to be with.

The women I want to be with, I get along well with and happen like me as a person. Are Arty Girls or Nerds or Geeks who are more interested in things like Science, Computers, Humanities and The Arts; than what a lot of other girls are interested in.

People see me as quite intelligent, not bad looking and if I can put in the effort end up as an Accountant (I'm currently an university student). People would wonder why I do try and meet these sort of girls.

Well I have higher functioning autism, it is not so much that issue that gets me down. It is the issues that I am on the disability support pension and find it hard to get a part time job a lot of other fellow students have. Plus I do not have the life and social experiences experiences at age 26 a lot of the 18-22 year old students (who make up the bulk of campus) students have. Hence I find the sort of girls I have described above as way out of my league.

Instead I have been on focusing on very different women, women with disabilities (developmentally delayed and physical). Apart from the shared difficulties in life to some extent, often these women are very different from me and I do not want to be with.
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 67
Out of my league
Posted: 3/29/2009 1:59:02 AM
Hey dude

Ask a girl out if you are interested. If you get turned down, you know the answers to your "what ifs."
You could be suprised on some answers you might receive from certain girls. Please go for the good girl type. A good girl has a great family background and really sincere to others. My brothers always go for the hottest chicks and it always turns out bad. Go for a girl that has an education, works hard, cute, and a good friend. Just don't settle for less.
Joined: 7/27/2005
Msg: 68
view profile
Out of my league
Posted: 3/29/2009 4:56:42 AM
you need to understand that you don't know what someones league is...people are always guessing mine wrong...
I get long haired, tattooed guys...bigger guys...bald guys...all the time...that don't even bother talking to me to begin with, because they think they are out of my leauge...when they are exactly what I like...most of the time...
you just never know unless you try...good luck...
think about Julia & Lyle....
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 69
Out of my league
Posted: 3/29/2009 9:29:25 AM
To anyone who deals in "leagues"...

Get over it. If you don't think you're good enough to be with someone, then you know what.. you truly aren't, just based on that attitude alone.

Is everyone you hit gonna be interested? No. But many will be. Deal with that like the rest of us do and you may not be pleased ALL the time, but you'll be better off than you are now thinking you're pond scum to someone else's supposed greatness.
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 70
Out of my league
Posted: 3/29/2009 3:07:54 PM
Of course there are leagues.

Why would a girl want to date someone they perceive to believe below them if you don't want to date someone you perceive as beneath you?

The guy wants a hot chick. She doesn't want to date him. The guy doesn't want to date less attractive who are in his league.

Why does the guy really want to date the hot chick over someone in his own league?

Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 71
Out of my league
Posted: 3/29/2009 3:46:56 PM
Just to throw in my two cents, because I'm bored... I don't really believe in leagues. I mean, I've asked out girls I'd consider perfect 10's*, and even the most generous estimates place me at only 7.5. Admittedly, I was rejected--but not nearly as brutally as one would expect. One even confessed to thinking of asking -me- out at one point, weeks prior to my asking her.

If you're interested in someone, ask them out with impunity. Impunity is a great word, isn't it? I try to do just about everything with impunity. >:]

*Note that my criteria for 10/10 status is limited to in-shape and nerdy, likely with dark hair and glasses.
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 72
Out of my league
Posted: 3/29/2009 5:40:34 PM
First why are you out of her league? Are you shallow and only go for Paris Hilton types? If you are a down to earth guy and nothing like shallow hall, take a chance, I once fell in love with a guy that when he approcahed me, my friends told me not to go slumming, but people view people in different ways, and you will never know until you ask. Everyones type is different and not all girls are looking for tall dark and handsome, but the best advice i can give you is do your home work, if a guy walks up and says hi how are you, can i buy you a martini, well, lets just say he wasnt all that interested in me, and a guy that is interested would have watched me for atleast a few min to know that im a coors light girl and hate the small talk off hi how are you, whats your name... :)
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 73
Out of my league
Posted: 3/29/2009 5:51:33 PM

"I don't really believe in leagues. I mean, I've asked out girls I'd consider perfect 10's*, and even the most generous estimates place me at only 7.5. "

Kinda sounds like you DO 'believe' in leagues!
The leagues of 10's and the leagues below a 10.
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 74
view profile
Out of my league
Posted: 3/29/2009 6:01:34 PM
I figure that if Dudley Moore can have Bo........there is always hope for me......

If you want to see how things change and why perception messed with most of us, just go to every high school class reunion, and learn how so many had no real clue about who or what they were, had, and have now.

The ones that we thought just might not be in our league, or we theirs, seem to find a way to either make it a truism, or finally realized how wrong it all could be. Ah, perception......the highway to oblivion.

Just my opinion......
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 75
Out of my league
Posted: 3/29/2009 7:11:07 PM

Kinda sounds like you DO 'believe' in leagues!
The leagues of 10's and the leagues below a 10.

Well, maybe I should rephrase that. They're there, but you shouldn't pay any attention to them. Fortune favors the bold! :p
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