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 lohki
Joined: 7/22/2005
Msg: 51
Out of my leaguePage 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
what ????... no leagues?
and then you all woke up!!!!
that is just jibberish>> yes, there are leagues, or what ever word you want to use to describe the standards people feel ~meet or bust their own.
honestly- there are even subconscious standards that we recognize in other people from their background- upbringing...
~one of my best friend's parents are alcoholics>> she has always said that if in a room with 50 men.. she will be attracted without saying a single word to the male that has similar background issues.

So let's say for argument and my entire purpose of posting on this thread- that leagues do exist>> they exist because as creatures of habit -comfort zones with other people are natural and we seek them out blindly, almost unwittingly.
we date people primarily with the same education background.. same family structure.. same sexual nature.. same comonalities.
we do this because we measure the oposite sex like a mirror image of who and what we are.
~slide in the league ~term~ to Differentiate what we think we are and what we can attract!
*mini narcissists*
.. of course, just my opinion
 Jarbarian
Joined: 2/9/2006
Msg: 52
Out of my league
Posted: 3/23/2006 9:45:53 AM
Lohki, you just proved my point.

It's a matter of perspective.

If a man feels a woman is out of her league, he will be.
If a man feels he is not out of woman's league, he won't be.

If then you measure 'her' based on "I'm confident in myself", then she won't be out of your league.

If a woman feels she is out of man's league, it's simply because he did not display the kind of confidence and self-assuredness that would draw her to him. It's that simple.

Someone else said "Be the prize" which I agree with. Another way to put it is "Be the star, not the planet."
 stand by
Joined: 3/21/2006
Msg: 53
Out of my league
Posted: 3/23/2006 9:58:06 AM
Are you obsessed with being right? People have different ideas, and that's OK.
 Marilynized
Joined: 1/11/2005
Msg: 54
Out of my league
Posted: 3/23/2006 10:03:59 AM
Out of my league - no such animal.
 Jarbarian
Joined: 2/9/2006
Msg: 55
Out of my league
Posted: 3/23/2006 10:58:44 AM
[QUOTE] Are you obsessed with being right? People have different ideas, and that's OK. [/QUOTE]

Obsessed? No.

Frustrated with small-minded thinking?
Frustrated with people accepting they are second class citizens?
Frustrated with people who lack confidence and self-esteem?
Frustrated with self-defeatist attitudes?

Absolutely.

I'm fine and encourage people having different ideas. However, I do think telling yourself you don't deserve someone based on the 'assumption' they are somehow too good for you is unacceptable thinking.

It's not the end product that keeps us from acheiving our deepest desires and goals. It's our own attitudes and self-confidence that does.

Like what was said earlier "those that think they can and those that think they cannot...are both right."

Take some time to think about that.
 grungelives
Joined: 1/23/2006
Msg: 56
Out of my league
Posted: 3/23/2006 11:01:36 AM
There's no such thing as "out of your league", if your cool enough and generate attraction in them nothing else matters.
 Shoedaddy
Joined: 3/2/2006
Msg: 57
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History
Out of my league
Posted: 3/23/2006 6:48:52 PM
Never said there weren't such things as "leauges"; im just downplaying the significance --if you know how to play the situation to your favor, there are always ways to get around. But really.. "leauge" is more of a high-shchool circumstance, it's not that cut and dry in real life-, a better term might be 'status'; which goes into what you have, what you do,/ rather than who you are and who you know.
 bottleneckblues
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 58
Out of my league
Posted: 4/18/2006 2:00:07 PM
What?? There are no Leagues?? This is GREAT news!! I am off to go win the heart of Angelina Jolie!!

Of course there are leagues!! Think about it. Have you ever had someone that was attracted to you that you just had no interest in what so ever? I'm sure everybody here has. It doesn't matter how much confidence the person had or didn't have, you just weren't interested!! Well guess what? You were out of their league!! The next time you go out to a public place, look at all the people of the opposite sex that you meet, do you think that every single one of them would have a chance with you if they just showed enough confidence? Of course not. Just as you look at someone else and think, "There is no way I would ever date them" there are people who think the same way about you....so yes , of course there are leagues.
 simpleman4u
Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 59
Out of my league
Posted: 4/20/2006 9:14:10 PM
Yes there are leagues,And I am way to shy to flirt with the ladies cause I know Im just average.BUT Since I have started talking to some one who has the same problem and was shown this thread and no I say to bad for the leagues cause the ladies have no idea what there missing in this average guy.
 Parde
Joined: 2/9/2006
Msg: 60
Out of my league
Posted: 4/20/2006 9:27:54 PM
It sounds to me like you're not giving yourself enough credit. Who says the person you're interested in is out of your league? I'm almost positive that most of the girls you COULD approach would be happy for it, and not think the same way as you at all...and even if they did...well they wouldn't be worth it, now would they? Either way, you never know unless you actually make the effort.
 simpleman4u
Joined: 10/4/2005
Msg: 61
Out of my league
Posted: 4/20/2006 9:31:12 PM
Well not to many women come up to me or message me so its no lose either way
 kap10cavy1963
Joined: 4/15/2006
Msg: 62
Out of my league
Posted: 4/20/2006 9:59:16 PM
I look at it simply like this.
If a woman thinks she is too attractive to go out with me before she even knows
more about me other than, "he's the guy that works over there or whatever" then I am out of her league.
I aint fabio or Adonis, but I have gone out with a few real (can we say hotties? lol) attractive women in my time.
Thes are the women that took the time to get to know me.
I don't rely on my looks Hell, I can't lol
I rely on my character. It goes a long way.
 FantasyFlavor
Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 63
Out of my league
Posted: 4/21/2006 1:35:08 AM
Personally,I don't feel one person is any better than
the next person.If someone is so shallow & self-absorbed
as to tell another your out of my league,they've put themselves
on an invisible pedestal.

We all have our own preferences,sure & what we seek in a potential
mate but "out of my leaguer's" are in for a rude awakening to life &
the general acceptance of all people.

And,in time,Karma will bite them in the arse & give them a reality check..
 Hal 9000
Joined: 3/14/2006
Msg: 64
Out of my league
Posted: 4/21/2006 1:39:07 AM
I'm in a league of my own.
 MeereKat
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 65
Out of my league
Posted: 9/15/2008 6:06:24 AM
I used to think that certain 'Types' were 'Out of my League'....
Until I fell in Love with one .. that Fell in Love with Me, TOO..!!!
I'm generally self-deprocating and shy.. not being the Tom Cruise-type....
..But I _have_ been called a sweet, kind-hearted, comical and considerate Gentleman ..
with a lot going for me ..
Still .. I do have a certain criteria for 'attraction'
.. who Doesn't ..
And .. I have been known to Fall in Love _Every_ time that I sign-in, here....
I know 'Pretty' when I see it ..
but I do know that there's a certain amount of conceit that goes along with 'Pretty'..!
..and I'm realistic, too...
There are just too many legitimate factors to get in the way of a Long-distance Romance ..
.. without having most women that I contact use the Absolute _flimsiest_ excuse
to Not to take the least amount of interest in getting to know me better........
* Distance *
 german chick 1968
Joined: 5/13/2008
Msg: 66
Out of my league
Posted: 9/15/2008 6:13:19 AM
nobody is ever out of your league .
if you dont ask , you wont know , right , have backbone and ask , but be prepared to meet some mean people ..
not everyone is mean and stuck up ...
good luck
 doesitmattertou
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 67
Out of my league
Posted: 9/15/2008 12:49:20 PM
Out of your league? How can someone be out of your league? I say there is nobody out of my leaqgue. saying that means that somebody is too good for you? Come on! Nobody is too good but they may be different! We have to practice self love and appreciation. Myself,l I feel I am "as good as everyone else". Somebody may be thinner or richer or taller but they are NOT better than me.
Baby, you need to beleive in yourself and know that the only limitations on this planet is just you.
 Hawk8414
Joined: 7/19/2008
Msg: 68
Out of my league
Posted: 9/15/2008 1:15:37 PM
They always said,"Fake it until you make it." I guess that could kinda apply here.
 Your_Distraction
Joined: 6/3/2008
Msg: 69
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History
Out of my league
Posted: 9/15/2008 5:39:29 PM
Who started labelling people? Who knows? you could end up being perfect for one another! it never hurts to try!


Rock On!
 Rmadonna05
Joined: 2/20/2005
Msg: 70
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History
Out of my league
Posted: 9/16/2008 12:12:01 PM
I know in high school I had a tendency to like people out of my league. Had a friend tell me to stop picking out rich people. Now, in a way she had a point. Social class matters to some.

The point is that with this online thing, it's hard. It's too hard to know a personality. I don't know if your friends are right, but sometimes you can get lucky. If the girl doesn't want to get to know you, then don't waste more time.
 briargate
Joined: 8/18/2008
Msg: 71
Out of my league
Posted: 9/16/2008 1:08:25 PM
Years ago an ex was talking to me about her fantastically beautiful and athletic friend, Lisa. She did this and that and was simply wonderful. And, she's out of your league. Ha ha ha.

The fact is, we all make choices in our lives that separate us from other groups. Some of us are happier with fewer material possessions, but require a lot of travel and adventure. We make choices to optimize a certain lifestyle. We hold certain things dear, while downgrade other things.

So the whole league idea doesn't work. Someone simply isn't above someone else. True, there are gross standards of attractiveness and being successful, but is a highly successful but average looking man lower on the scale than an attractive but moderately successful man? It's not all clear cut.

So I have to laugh at people that subscribe to the caste systems they then become victims of.
 GeminiMan66
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 72
Out of my league
Posted: 9/16/2008 1:20:21 PM
Hey OP......even though this thread is a couple of years old now and you have probably found someone or maybe you haven't.

For what it's worth.....I agree.....errr ...you are being stupid in regards to this "out of my league" system for dating....JMO
 Nothin2it
Joined: 8/31/2007
Msg: 73
Out of my league
Posted: 2/17/2009 7:31:42 AM


Are you telling me you've never seen a less than attractive guy with a hot woman? Do you think it's all about money or fame? It isn't. I've seen plenty of less than good looking men without a penny to their name able to land some very hot women.


reminds me of that Joe Jackson song, "Is she really going out with him?" but it's very true. The fact of the matter is that until you enjoy yourself, and your life, penniless or otherwise, how do you expect someone on the outside of it to enjoy it? Until you understand who you are, and what you're made of, and are HAPPY in the discovery (or at least working on improvement) it's a hopeless quest to find someone who will care about you, since you don't care about yourself enough to face the mirror.

There's plenty of women who are out of my league - no doubt about it, but they have placed themselves there, not me...and it really doesn't matter to me a bit when it comes right down to it. I know myself pretty well, and I know I have issues to deal with, but everybody does...on a good day, when my toes are tapping to some Joe Walsh tune, and my smile is working, some unbelievable contacts are made, then, on a bad day, when I'm dragging a tow line, nothing happens.

Sometimes life can feel like that skit on SNL "Lowered Expectations" and that happens to everybody now and then, I'm sure, or they wouldn't have put the scene on TV more than once. It's a fact of life, one to come to grips with, but it doesn't mean that anyone needs to be relegated to the position of settling for something less than what you know moves you. That's just wasting time, and possibly setting your partner up for some immense pain when they finally realize you "settled" for them instead of being honest in yourself about what you desire, and that's wrong to begin with, very wrong...and yet it happens more often than anyone will admit to, I think.

Best wishes to all you fishes!

 cobra4u
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 74
Out of my league
Posted: 3/24/2009 6:13:16 PM
Hey Guy

Have you ever noticed that women will often-times say one
thing, but mean another?

I'm sure you have experienced this before.

For instance, sometimes a girl will say "I only like to date
guys who are taller than me."

And then, the next guy you see her out on a date with is
about a foot shorter than she is.

Sometimes a woman will say she prefers to be taken
out to dinner and a movie.

And then, she tells you the best date she ever had was
when a guy took her on a walk on the beach.

Sometimes the woman says she's looking for a guy with
a nice, steady job who can provide for her.

And then, she's seen gallivanting around with some
dirt-poor schmooze that doesn't have a penny to his
name.

No matter how you look at it, lots and lots of women
say they respond to one thing, when in reality, they
ACTUALLY respond to something else.

This strange phenomenon is called "Girl Speak."

A big problem guys have is they don't know how to
properly translate "Girl Speak," so they end up taking
what the girl says literally.

But this is a huge, HUGE mistake!

Women very rarely say what they actually mean. And
because of that, they respond really well to guys who
know how to interpret what they are really saying.

Take me for instance...

I'm a 40 year old, over weight man and definitely no winner in the
looks department. (and not rich)

But I've dated women who say they aren't into "fat"
guys. In fact, they actually prefer guys who "take
care of themselves" and "go to the gym."

Yet they still agree to date me!

I've dated girls who were way younger than me. One
of my more recent girlfriends was 26 years old. I'm 40.
This girl wasn't interested in dating an older guy, yet
for me she made an exception.

I dated one girl who only liked black guys. Me, I'm white
as white can be. Seriously they don't get any whiter
than good ole' Rick. But again, the girl made an exception.

If I had taken their "Girl Speak" literally, I'd have never
gotten past the initial meet.

But I know the key to by-passing the most common
"Girl Speak" objections.

You know the ones...

"I only like guys with great bodies."
"A guy who wants to take me out needs to have a nice car."
"I want a tall man."
"I want a guy my own age."
"I have a boyfriend."
"I'm not looking for a serious relationship."

Blah, blah, blah.

So how do I do it? Well, it's fairly simple actually...

Don't try and change their minds... change their EMOTIONS.

When a girl tells you about a specific thing she finds
attractive, you got to understand that's not a LOGICAL
attraction trigger she's sharing with you.

No, sir.

When a girl tells you something like "I like to date tall
guys," she's not telling you she's attracted to guys who
are tall.

She's telling you she's attracted to the way tall guys
make her FEEL.

Normally, if you ask a girl why she likes tall guys, she
will share with you that maybe she "feels safer" with
tall men.

So in that case, she's looking to feel secure with the guy
she's dating.

Guess what? You don't have to be tall to make a woman
FEEL secure! You just need to know how to trigger that
emotion inside her.

So let's say you want to get a woman attracted to you - no
matter what you look like.

Do you know how to make a woman feel that kind of
attraction?

The key is making her feel FUN when she's around you.
If you can make a woman feel fun, chances are she'll
feel attracted.

Why?

Because attraction is all about feeling good! And if you
can create some good old fashioned sexual tension in
there - guess what?

She's going to be SEXUALLY attracted to you!

My dating workshop is all about how to
make a woman feel attracted to you - no matter how
shy you are or what you look like.

If you've ever been frustrated by "Girl Speak," you simply
need to check out my Date guru profile at:
http://www.myspace.com/alabamahitch

or, just continue to be fooled by "Girl Speak" and never
get attraction from the women you want.

The choice is yours.

Talk soon,....


Rick
 blackkoffee
Joined: 3/17/2009
Msg: 75
Out of my league
Posted: 3/24/2009 10:37:26 PM
I say go for it because you never know what someone is looking for. I mean look at all the hot models who date guys that you would think they wouldn't look at let alone marry and date. the point is we are all looking for the same thing in the long run and you may be a gorgeous girls chance at happiness.
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