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Joined: 8/31/2007
Msg: 51
Out of my leaguePage 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Are you telling me you've never seen a less than attractive guy with a hot woman? Do you think it's all about money or fame? It isn't. I've seen plenty of less than good looking men without a penny to their name able to land some very hot women.

reminds me of that Joe Jackson song, "Is she really going out with him?" but it's very true. The fact of the matter is that until you enjoy yourself, and your life, penniless or otherwise, how do you expect someone on the outside of it to enjoy it? Until you understand who you are, and what you're made of, and are HAPPY in the discovery (or at least working on improvement) it's a hopeless quest to find someone who will care about you, since you don't care about yourself enough to face the mirror.

There's plenty of women who are out of my league - no doubt about it, but they have placed themselves there, not me...and it really doesn't matter to me a bit when it comes right down to it. I know myself pretty well, and I know I have issues to deal with, but everybody does...on a good day, when my toes are tapping to some Joe Walsh tune, and my smile is working, some unbelievable contacts are made, then, on a bad day, when I'm dragging a tow line, nothing happens.

Sometimes life can feel like that skit on SNL "Lowered Expectations" and that happens to everybody now and then, I'm sure, or they wouldn't have put the scene on TV more than once. It's a fact of life, one to come to grips with, but it doesn't mean that anyone needs to be relegated to the position of settling for something less than what you know moves you. That's just wasting time, and possibly setting your partner up for some immense pain when they finally realize you "settled" for them instead of being honest in yourself about what you desire, and that's wrong to begin with, very wrong...and yet it happens more often than anyone will admit to, I think.

Best wishes to all you fishes!

Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 52
Out of my league
Posted: 3/24/2009 6:13:16 PM
Hey Guy

Have you ever noticed that women will often-times say one
thing, but mean another?

I'm sure you have experienced this before.

For instance, sometimes a girl will say "I only like to date
guys who are taller than me."

And then, the next guy you see her out on a date with is
about a foot shorter than she is.

Sometimes a woman will say she prefers to be taken
out to dinner and a movie.

And then, she tells you the best date she ever had was
when a guy took her on a walk on the beach.

Sometimes the woman says she's looking for a guy with
a nice, steady job who can provide for her.

And then, she's seen gallivanting around with some
dirt-poor schmooze that doesn't have a penny to his

No matter how you look at it, lots and lots of women
say they respond to one thing, when in reality, they
ACTUALLY respond to something else.

This strange phenomenon is called "Girl Speak."

A big problem guys have is they don't know how to
properly translate "Girl Speak," so they end up taking
what the girl says literally.

But this is a huge, HUGE mistake!

Women very rarely say what they actually mean. And
because of that, they respond really well to guys who
know how to interpret what they are really saying.

Take me for instance...

I'm a 40 year old, over weight man and definitely no winner in the
looks department. (and not rich)

But I've dated women who say they aren't into "fat"
guys. In fact, they actually prefer guys who "take
care of themselves" and "go to the gym."

Yet they still agree to date me!

I've dated girls who were way younger than me. One
of my more recent girlfriends was 26 years old. I'm 40.
This girl wasn't interested in dating an older guy, yet
for me she made an exception.

I dated one girl who only liked black guys. Me, I'm white
as white can be. Seriously they don't get any whiter
than good ole' Rick. But again, the girl made an exception.

If I had taken their "Girl Speak" literally, I'd have never
gotten past the initial meet.

But I know the key to by-passing the most common
"Girl Speak" objections.

You know the ones...

"I only like guys with great bodies."
"A guy who wants to take me out needs to have a nice car."
"I want a tall man."
"I want a guy my own age."
"I have a boyfriend."
"I'm not looking for a serious relationship."

Blah, blah, blah.

So how do I do it? Well, it's fairly simple actually...

Don't try and change their minds... change their EMOTIONS.

When a girl tells you about a specific thing she finds
attractive, you got to understand that's not a LOGICAL
attraction trigger she's sharing with you.

No, sir.

When a girl tells you something like "I like to date tall
guys," she's not telling you she's attracted to guys who
are tall.

She's telling you she's attracted to the way tall guys
make her FEEL.

Normally, if you ask a girl why she likes tall guys, she
will share with you that maybe she "feels safer" with
tall men.

So in that case, she's looking to feel secure with the guy
she's dating.

Guess what? You don't have to be tall to make a woman
FEEL secure! You just need to know how to trigger that
emotion inside her.

So let's say you want to get a woman attracted to you - no
matter what you look like.

Do you know how to make a woman feel that kind of

The key is making her feel FUN when she's around you.
If you can make a woman feel fun, chances are she'll
feel attracted.


Because attraction is all about feeling good! And if you
can create some good old fashioned sexual tension in
there - guess what?

She's going to be SEXUALLY attracted to you!

My dating workshop is all about how to
make a woman feel attracted to you - no matter how
shy you are or what you look like.

If you've ever been frustrated by "Girl Speak," you simply
need to check out my Date guru profile at:

or, just continue to be fooled by "Girl Speak" and never
get attraction from the women you want.

The choice is yours.

Talk soon,....

Joined: 3/17/2009
Msg: 53
Out of my league
Posted: 3/24/2009 10:37:26 PM
I say go for it because you never know what someone is looking for. I mean look at all the hot models who date guys that you would think they wouldn't look at let alone marry and date. the point is we are all looking for the same thing in the long run and you may be a gorgeous girls chance at happiness.
Joined: 2/22/2009
Msg: 54
Out of my league
Posted: 3/24/2009 11:54:28 PM

I'll probably sound like a broken record here, but why on earth would anyone wish to measure their on worth - based on someone else

well said.No one on the planet is out of anyone elses league.If someone doesnt want to give you a chance or acts like they are better than everyone else then **** em,let 'em rot.
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 55
view profile
Out of my league
Posted: 3/25/2009 7:43:46 AM
Not sure what "league" you mean (looks, socio-economic status, etc.), but ask them out anyway and see what happens. Try to find topics of conversation together. That'll determine whether you're both in the same "league". As far as looks, well, let HER be the one to give you the cold shoulder to be the judge of that. If you're already heaping that on yourself, you're doomed. She's flesh-and-blood, same as you. She's only a woman, not a goddess.
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 56
Out of my league
Posted: 3/28/2009 6:14:48 PM
I do not believe in leagues myself; I believe you should have some standards, you want to be with somebody you want to be with.

The women I want to be with, I get along well with and happen like me as a person. Are Arty Girls or Nerds or Geeks who are more interested in things like Science, Computers, Humanities and The Arts; than what a lot of other girls are interested in.

People see me as quite intelligent, not bad looking and if I can put in the effort end up as an Accountant (I'm currently an university student). People would wonder why I do try and meet these sort of girls.

Well I have higher functioning autism, it is not so much that issue that gets me down. It is the issues that I am on the disability support pension and find it hard to get a part time job a lot of other fellow students have. Plus I do not have the life and social experiences experiences at age 26 a lot of the 18-22 year old students (who make up the bulk of campus) students have. Hence I find the sort of girls I have described above as way out of my league.

Instead I have been on focusing on very different women, women with disabilities (developmentally delayed and physical). Apart from the shared difficulties in life to some extent, often these women are very different from me and I do not want to be with.
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 57
Out of my league
Posted: 3/29/2009 1:59:02 AM
Hey dude

Ask a girl out if you are interested. If you get turned down, you know the answers to your "what ifs."
You could be suprised on some answers you might receive from certain girls. Please go for the good girl type. A good girl has a great family background and really sincere to others. My brothers always go for the hottest chicks and it always turns out bad. Go for a girl that has an education, works hard, cute, and a good friend. Just don't settle for less.
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 58
Out of my league
Posted: 3/29/2009 9:29:25 AM
To anyone who deals in "leagues"...

Get over it. If you don't think you're good enough to be with someone, then you know what.. you truly aren't, just based on that attitude alone.

Is everyone you hit gonna be interested? No. But many will be. Deal with that like the rest of us do and you may not be pleased ALL the time, but you'll be better off than you are now thinking you're pond scum to someone else's supposed greatness.
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 59
Out of my league
Posted: 3/29/2009 3:07:54 PM
Of course there are leagues.

Why would a girl want to date someone they perceive to believe below them if you don't want to date someone you perceive as beneath you?

The guy wants a hot chick. She doesn't want to date him. The guy doesn't want to date less attractive who are in his league.

Why does the guy really want to date the hot chick over someone in his own league?

Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 60
Out of my league
Posted: 3/29/2009 3:46:56 PM
Just to throw in my two cents, because I'm bored... I don't really believe in leagues. I mean, I've asked out girls I'd consider perfect 10's*, and even the most generous estimates place me at only 7.5. Admittedly, I was rejected--but not nearly as brutally as one would expect. One even confessed to thinking of asking -me- out at one point, weeks prior to my asking her.

If you're interested in someone, ask them out with impunity. Impunity is a great word, isn't it? I try to do just about everything with impunity. >:]

*Note that my criteria for 10/10 status is limited to in-shape and nerdy, likely with dark hair and glasses.
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 61
Out of my league
Posted: 3/29/2009 5:40:34 PM
First why are you out of her league? Are you shallow and only go for Paris Hilton types? If you are a down to earth guy and nothing like shallow hall, take a chance, I once fell in love with a guy that when he approcahed me, my friends told me not to go slumming, but people view people in different ways, and you will never know until you ask. Everyones type is different and not all girls are looking for tall dark and handsome, but the best advice i can give you is do your home work, if a guy walks up and says hi how are you, can i buy you a martini, well, lets just say he wasnt all that interested in me, and a guy that is interested would have watched me for atleast a few min to know that im a coors light girl and hate the small talk off hi how are you, whats your name... :)
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 62
Out of my league
Posted: 3/29/2009 5:51:33 PM

"I don't really believe in leagues. I mean, I've asked out girls I'd consider perfect 10's*, and even the most generous estimates place me at only 7.5. "

Kinda sounds like you DO 'believe' in leagues!
The leagues of 10's and the leagues below a 10.
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 63
view profile
Out of my league
Posted: 3/29/2009 6:01:34 PM
I figure that if Dudley Moore can have Bo........there is always hope for me......

If you want to see how things change and why perception messed with most of us, just go to every high school class reunion, and learn how so many had no real clue about who or what they were, had, and have now.

The ones that we thought just might not be in our league, or we theirs, seem to find a way to either make it a truism, or finally realized how wrong it all could be. Ah, perception......the highway to oblivion.

Just my opinion......
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 64
Out of my league
Posted: 3/29/2009 7:11:07 PM

Kinda sounds like you DO 'believe' in leagues!
The leagues of 10's and the leagues below a 10.

Well, maybe I should rephrase that. They're there, but you shouldn't pay any attention to them. Fortune favors the bold! :p
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 65
Out of my league
Posted: 10/20/2011 9:13:44 PM
You're attracted to who you're attracted to.....
I had an occasion to *CLICK* with One Lady that I was _Certain_ was OML....
back in '93....
As it turned out...she was intrigued by my gentlemanly approach,
and we became close friends...then Lovers...then Married..!!!
Since losing her in '98...I've kept a few classic rock songs in mind when trying to write to, and impress a classy Lady....
Most often it's...:
"...I may be climbing on Rainbows...but baby, here goes...."
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 66
Out of my league
Posted: 10/22/2011 9:08:40 PM
Believe all you want what ever ranking you are in - IF she has a value set of leagues and rankings - and you are not in it - you are spooling up your engines to go nowhere.
and to the girl speak BS - if you ain't going to say what you mean - why are you so F'n surprised when you get the results you do.
enjoy the game.
that Ron Popeil may be a great rod and reel set, but you are never catching a fish in your back yard pool with it.
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 67
view profile
Out of my league
Posted: 10/22/2011 9:14:02 PM
Adulthood is the big league. That is all that matters, and frankly, I always go for women that seem out of bounds. But this does build my confidence, and it shows that I do pursue women regardless of any setbacks.
Joined: 10/1/2011
Msg: 68
Out of my league
Posted: 10/22/2011 11:11:48 PM
have you ever seen she's out of my league, i know its a movie but come on, i see so many women with some slobs, but hey that one girl will find you, even if she's really gorgoues.
Joined: 6/29/2011
Msg: 69
Out of my league
Posted: 10/24/2011 12:02:42 AM
Am I the only one that thought this thread was about high standards? I see very few women who interest me in general.
Joined: 3/11/2011
Msg: 70
Out of my league
Posted: 10/24/2011 11:15:21 AM
I don't pay attention to this 'out of your league' thing.
However, I do think you can only attract what you are...and that it makes sense.
If a person doesn't take care of themselves physically...why would that same person expect to date someone that is a 10 on the looks scale?
If a person has their life in order and on track...why would he or she date someone who has no direction and is a mess in life? It kinda makes no sense.
If you want to attract the type of man/woman you want...then you need to fit the description as well. If you don't...then work towards improving whatever needs improvement.
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 71
view profile
Out of my league
Posted: 10/25/2011 6:20:55 PM

However, I do think you can only attract what you are...and that it makes sense.

I disagree. We don't always (in fact, rarely) date 'what we are'. But we date people who bring the same amount of value 'to the table'. The most extreme, common, and obvious example is, rich ugly fat guys date poor, but very beautiful women. To the benefit of some really, really beautiful, but ****y women, you have to be really annoying to lower the value that beauty does for you.
Joined: 8/9/2008
Msg: 72
view profile
Out of my league
Posted: 10/25/2011 6:37:00 PM
Ask a woman out if you like her. The worst thing she can do is say no and, should that happen, there are other women. Confidence plays a role as well. If you don't think you can get someone then why should she. Women notice these kinds of things.
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 73
Out of my league
Posted: 10/25/2011 7:28:55 PM

We don't always (in fact, rarely) date 'what we are'. But we date people who bring the same amount of value 'to the table'. The most extreme, common, and obvious example is, rich ugly fat guys date poor, but very beautiful women.

I disagree. Studies show (and personal observation as well) that good looking guys hang with good looking girls. The gender reversal CAN happen, but many times they can be just friends and you don't know it... or he has tons of money, which is usually a factor when she's older if he's ugly & she's hot.... or they were married and he let himself go. So you do have to take long-term married people out of the equation.

In the end, if there were no "leagues", then there would be no people significantly better looking than another by the general populace's eyes... which means models in magazines would be randomly selected, as taste would be random -- which it's not. There's an objective baseline and it shifts to some degree subjectively in the details.

When have you seen a ripped, good looking guy with a decent job land a date and eager to start dating a 300lb unemployed heffer with 4 kids? League difference.
Joined: 10/9/2011
Msg: 74
Out of my league
Posted: 10/25/2011 8:10:24 PM
I sort of agree with the guy who used the baseball analogy, but I would leave the words "babe" and "banging" out of your vernacular. Otherwise, it won't matter what "improvments" you make. No self-respecting woman will want to seriously date or "bang" you.

That said, remember that a lot of pretty girls are alone or just hanging with her girls because men expect to be shot down so they don't ask them out. Also, not all women are looking for the GQ model with the fat wallet. I met a couple the other night who I never would have imagined together. She was pretty and personable and while he was personable, he wasn't what I would consider to be attractive. But they had great chemistry and seemed happy. My guess is he saw her and decided to take a chance. Try it sometime. You might be surprised at what kind of woman will say yes.
Joined: 2/5/2011
Msg: 75
Out of my league
Posted: 10/26/2011 12:29:00 AM
I think a person is limiting themselves severely if they stick to someone in their perceived league. I've seen a lot of short, rotund gals who dress shoddily and yet they have a tall boyfriend or husband who's in shape.

I would say go for the women you're attracted to, but don't discount the Plain Janes either. The best way to do this is get to know them and see if they have things in common with you.
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