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 teejay83
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 66
Out of my leaguePage 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I do not believe in leagues myself; I believe you should have some standards, you want to be with somebody you want to be with.

The women I want to be with, I get along well with and happen like me as a person. Are Arty Girls or Nerds or Geeks who are more interested in things like Science, Computers, Humanities and The Arts; than what a lot of other girls are interested in.

People see me as quite intelligent, not bad looking and if I can put in the effort end up as an Accountant (I'm currently an university student). People would wonder why I do try and meet these sort of girls.

Well I have higher functioning autism, it is not so much that issue that gets me down. It is the issues that I am on the disability support pension and find it hard to get a part time job a lot of other fellow students have. Plus I do not have the life and social experiences experiences at age 26 a lot of the 18-22 year old students (who make up the bulk of campus) students have. Hence I find the sort of girls I have described above as way out of my league.

Instead I have been on focusing on very different women, women with disabilities (developmentally delayed and physical). Apart from the shared difficulties in life to some extent, often these women are very different from me and I do not want to be with.
 Rockgal21
Joined: 11/22/2008
Msg: 67
Out of my league
Posted: 3/29/2009 1:59:02 AM
Hey dude

Ask a girl out if you are interested. If you get turned down, you know the answers to your "what ifs."
You could be suprised on some answers you might receive from certain girls. Please go for the good girl type. A good girl has a great family background and really sincere to others. My brothers always go for the hottest chicks and it always turns out bad. Go for a girl that has an education, works hard, cute, and a good friend. Just don't settle for less.
 Pandora04
Joined: 7/27/2005
Msg: 68
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Out of my league
Posted: 3/29/2009 4:56:42 AM
you need to understand that you don't know what someones league is...people are always guessing mine wrong...
I get long haired, tattooed guys...bigger guys...bald guys...all the time...that don't even bother talking to me to begin with, because they think they are out of my leauge...when they are exactly what I like...most of the time...
you just never know unless you try...good luck...
think about Julia & Lyle....
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 69
Out of my league
Posted: 3/29/2009 9:29:25 AM
To anyone who deals in "leagues"...

Get over it. If you don't think you're good enough to be with someone, then you know what.. you truly aren't, just based on that attitude alone.

Is everyone you hit gonna be interested? No. But many will be. Deal with that like the rest of us do and you may not be pleased ALL the time, but you'll be better off than you are now thinking you're pond scum to someone else's supposed greatness.
 lelathecat
Joined: 6/14/2008
Msg: 70
Out of my league
Posted: 3/29/2009 3:07:54 PM
Of course there are leagues.

Why would a girl want to date someone they perceive to believe below them if you don't want to date someone you perceive as beneath you?

The guy wants a hot chick. She doesn't want to date him. The guy doesn't want to date less attractive who are in his league.

Why does the guy really want to date the hot chick over someone in his own league?

Status
 UnexpectedError
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 71
Out of my league
Posted: 3/29/2009 3:46:56 PM
Just to throw in my two cents, because I'm bored... I don't really believe in leagues. I mean, I've asked out girls I'd consider perfect 10's*, and even the most generous estimates place me at only 7.5. Admittedly, I was rejected--but not nearly as brutally as one would expect. One even confessed to thinking of asking -me- out at one point, weeks prior to my asking her.

If you're interested in someone, ask them out with impunity. Impunity is a great word, isn't it? I try to do just about everything with impunity. >:]

*Note that my criteria for 10/10 status is limited to in-shape and nerdy, likely with dark hair and glasses.
 serendepedy
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 72
Out of my league
Posted: 3/29/2009 5:40:34 PM
First why are you out of her league? Are you shallow and only go for Paris Hilton types? If you are a down to earth guy and nothing like shallow hall, take a chance, I once fell in love with a guy that when he approcahed me, my friends told me not to go slumming, but people view people in different ways, and you will never know until you ask. Everyones type is different and not all girls are looking for tall dark and handsome, but the best advice i can give you is do your home work, if a guy walks up and says hi how are you, can i buy you a martini, well, lets just say he wasnt all that interested in me, and a guy that is interested would have watched me for atleast a few min to know that im a coors light girl and hate the small talk off hi how are you, whats your name... :)
 breath~
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 73
Out of my league
Posted: 3/29/2009 5:51:33 PM

"I don't really believe in leagues. I mean, I've asked out girls I'd consider perfect 10's*, and even the most generous estimates place me at only 7.5. "

Kinda sounds like you DO 'believe' in leagues!
The leagues of 10's and the leagues below a 10.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 74
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Out of my league
Posted: 3/29/2009 6:01:34 PM
I figure that if Dudley Moore can have Bo........there is always hope for me......

If you want to see how things change and why perception messed with most of us, just go to every high school class reunion, and learn how so many had no real clue about who or what they were, had, and have now.

The ones that we thought just might not be in our league, or we theirs, seem to find a way to either make it a truism, or finally realized how wrong it all could be. Ah, perception......the highway to oblivion.

Just my opinion......
 UnexpectedError
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 75
Out of my league
Posted: 3/29/2009 7:11:07 PM

Kinda sounds like you DO 'believe' in leagues!
The leagues of 10's and the leagues below a 10.


Well, maybe I should rephrase that. They're there, but you shouldn't pay any attention to them. Fortune favors the bold! :p
 bullethead420
Joined: 5/26/2008
Msg: 76
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Out of my league
Posted: 3/29/2009 7:39:27 PM
Yo straight the **** up, ain't no one out of your legue i am far from one of the hottest guys around and yet i never have a problem getting girls. its all in your tone of voice and how you talk to them and how you treat them. girls can sence fear and can sence a good guy just open up with a good line. Dont use a line like if i could put you and I together crap use somthing like hey gorgious i was just chillin and then I seen you so I just had to talk to you.. then normally she will reply laughing at you for a cute but corny line then ask her about herself normally she replys nm and when she asks you about you just say nm no matter wat from there ask her how her day is going and ask her questions about her day like how was day good or boring or bad or what ever she replys to then you pretty well got her attention once you get her attention get her to talk to you about her self and when she does talk about herself listen NO MATTER HOW BORING IT IS AND 90% OF THE TIME IT WILL BE BORING and try and remeber as much as she tells you b/c weather you know it or not she will quiz you on if you were listening or not.. talk to her as she is a equal talk to her as anything else you will lose her...once you lose a girl weather you know it or not she may keep talking to you but you will never sleep with her and when you meet face to face talk to her in the same respect as you would on the computer if she bumps into you hold her hand and be gental with her as if she was a baby other than that i cant really keep giving you more advice if you want more message me at matthew_199@hotmail.com just remeber women like to be equal not to be above or below you and even if a few fish get away dont sweat it chances are you will never meet them again just keep practising the more you try at it the better you will understand how to get them no one is perfect and know one will ever get every girl they come across but the more you try the better your odds will get
 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 77
Out of my league
Posted: 10/20/2011 9:13:44 PM
You're attracted to who you're attracted to.....
I had an occasion to *CLICK* with One Lady that I was _Certain_ was OML....
back in '93....
As it turned out...she was intrigued by my gentlemanly approach,
and we became close friends...then Lovers...then Married..!!!
Since losing her in '98...I've kept a few classic rock songs in mind when trying to write to, and impress a classy Lady....
Most often it's...:
"...I may be climbing on Rainbows...but baby, here goes...."
 devonbrown1
Joined: 9/29/2011
Msg: 78
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Out of my league
Posted: 10/21/2011 12:22:37 PM
Leagues are tough to define at times. But if you are interested in women who always turn you down, maybe you are on to something.

You might need to really evaluate yourself and be honest. Don't ask your friends for their opinions. Ask people who have no interest in your happiness. They will be more honest with you.

There are actually services out there who will help review your profile, etc. I think there are also dating services who will give you an objective evaluation of yourself, so that you don't deceive yourself through the dating process.

Good luck.
 VegasGambit
Joined: 1/1/2011
Msg: 79
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Out of my league
Posted: 10/22/2011 11:26:00 AM
While I know it is not a universally shared belief, I don't subscribe to the idea of leagues when it comes to dating. While it is generally true that the more attractive women will get the greater amount of attention, I think guys either completely overestimate or underestimate their chances with that girl. You have guys who believe that they are God's gift to women and you have guys who believe that every possible bad thing will happen if they ask that girl out.

My mentality is this: I go in not caring if she says "yes" or "no". If you go in arrogant and****, chances are she will see you as a complete dolt. If you go in meek and scared to death, chances are she will see you as an insecure wimp. I have seen drop-dead gorgeous women act like they've been shot when a guy brushes a rejection off or when a guy is cool and doesn't become possessed when they talk to him.

So if there's a girl that you are interested in and want to ask out, no matter what she looks like, suck it up and take that chance! Worst that happens is she says no, and in that case you don't have to wonder what could have been.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 80
Out of my league
Posted: 10/22/2011 9:08:40 PM
Believe all you want what ever ranking you are in - IF she has a value set of leagues and rankings - and you are not in it - you are spooling up your engines to go nowhere.
and to the girl speak BS - if you ain't going to say what you mean - why are you so F'n surprised when you get the results you do.
enjoy the game.
that Ron Popeil may be a great rod and reel set, but you are never catching a fish in your back yard pool with it.
 SunshineAngel99
Joined: 10/13/2010
Msg: 81
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Out of my league
Posted: 10/22/2011 9:14:02 PM
Adulthood is the big league. That is all that matters, and frankly, I always go for women that seem out of bounds. But this does build my confidence, and it shows that I do pursue women regardless of any setbacks.
 Zesus
Joined: 10/1/2011
Msg: 82
Out of my league
Posted: 10/22/2011 11:11:48 PM
have you ever seen she's out of my league, i know its a movie but come on, i see so many women with some slobs, but hey that one girl will find you, even if she's really gorgoues.
 --Zen--
Joined: 6/29/2011
Msg: 83
Out of my league
Posted: 10/24/2011 12:02:42 AM
Am I the only one that thought this thread was about high standards? I see very few women who interest me in general.
 musical_turtle
Joined: 3/11/2011
Msg: 84
Out of my league
Posted: 10/24/2011 11:15:21 AM
I don't pay attention to this 'out of your league' thing.
However, I do think you can only attract what you are...and that it makes sense.
If a person doesn't take care of themselves physically...why would that same person expect to date someone that is a 10 on the looks scale?
If a person has their life in order and on track...why would he or she date someone who has no direction and is a mess in life? It kinda makes no sense.
If you want to attract the type of man/woman you want...then you need to fit the description as well. If you don't...then work towards improving whatever needs improvement.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 85
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Out of my league
Posted: 10/25/2011 6:20:55 PM

However, I do think you can only attract what you are...and that it makes sense.

I disagree. We don't always (in fact, rarely) date 'what we are'. But we date people who bring the same amount of value 'to the table'. The most extreme, common, and obvious example is, rich ugly fat guys date poor, but very beautiful women. To the benefit of some really, really beautiful, but ****y women, you have to be really annoying to lower the value that beauty does for you.
 big_small_world
Joined: 8/9/2008
Msg: 86
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Out of my league
Posted: 10/25/2011 6:37:00 PM
Ask a woman out if you like her. The worst thing she can do is say no and, should that happen, there are other women. Confidence plays a role as well. If you don't think you can get someone then why should she. Women notice these kinds of things.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 87
Out of my league
Posted: 10/25/2011 7:28:55 PM

We don't always (in fact, rarely) date 'what we are'. But we date people who bring the same amount of value 'to the table'. The most extreme, common, and obvious example is, rich ugly fat guys date poor, but very beautiful women.

I disagree. Studies show (and personal observation as well) that good looking guys hang with good looking girls. The gender reversal CAN happen, but many times they can be just friends and you don't know it... or he has tons of money, which is usually a factor when she's older if he's ugly & she's hot.... or they were married and he let himself go. So you do have to take long-term married people out of the equation.

In the end, if there were no "leagues", then there would be no people significantly better looking than another by the general populace's eyes... which means models in magazines would be randomly selected, as taste would be random -- which it's not. There's an objective baseline and it shifts to some degree subjectively in the details.

When have you seen a ripped, good looking guy with a decent job land a date and eager to start dating a 300lb unemployed heffer with 4 kids? League difference.
 NotAGuppy
Joined: 10/9/2011
Msg: 88
Out of my league
Posted: 10/25/2011 8:10:24 PM
I sort of agree with the guy who used the baseball analogy, but I would leave the words "babe" and "banging" out of your vernacular. Otherwise, it won't matter what "improvments" you make. No self-respecting woman will want to seriously date or "bang" you.

That said, remember that a lot of pretty girls are alone or just hanging with her girls because men expect to be shot down so they don't ask them out. Also, not all women are looking for the GQ model with the fat wallet. I met a couple the other night who I never would have imagined together. She was pretty and personable and while he was personable, he wasn't what I would consider to be attractive. But they had great chemistry and seemed happy. My guess is he saw her and decided to take a chance. Try it sometime. You might be surprised at what kind of woman will say yes.
 virVerus
Joined: 2/5/2011
Msg: 89
Out of my league
Posted: 10/26/2011 12:29:00 AM
I think a person is limiting themselves severely if they stick to someone in their perceived league. I've seen a lot of short, rotund gals who dress shoddily and yet they have a tall boyfriend or husband who's in shape.

I would say go for the women you're attracted to, but don't discount the Plain Janes either. The best way to do this is get to know them and see if they have things in common with you.
 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 90
Out of my league
Posted: 10/26/2011 9:13:59 AM
I'd rather take my chances with women that are *OML*, and maybe...
Just M A Y B E ...find one that finds Me interesting enough to start something wonderful with....(It's happened , before!!)
...than...
Settling for someone that I'd be embarassed to be seen with in public...
...which does , luckily , also leave a fair amount 'In Between' !!
Is a Challenge needed....to get some of the Very Attractive women just to respond to a
polite Note of Admiration..??!!
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