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 musical_turtle
Joined: 3/11/2011
Msg: 96
Out of my leaguePage 5 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
I don't pay attention to this 'out of your league' thing.
However, I do think you can only attract what you are...and that it makes sense.
If a person doesn't take care of themselves physically...why would that same person expect to date someone that is a 10 on the looks scale?
If a person has their life in order and on track...why would he or she date someone who has no direction and is a mess in life? It kinda makes no sense.
If you want to attract the type of man/woman you want...then you need to fit the description as well. If you don't...then work towards improving whatever needs improvement.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 97
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Out of my league
Posted: 10/25/2011 6:20:55 PM

However, I do think you can only attract what you are...and that it makes sense.

I disagree. We don't always (in fact, rarely) date 'what we are'. But we date people who bring the same amount of value 'to the table'. The most extreme, common, and obvious example is, rich ugly fat guys date poor, but very beautiful women. To the benefit of some really, really beautiful, but ****y women, you have to be really annoying to lower the value that beauty does for you.
 big_small_world
Joined: 8/9/2008
Msg: 98
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Out of my league
Posted: 10/25/2011 6:37:00 PM
Ask a woman out if you like her. The worst thing she can do is say no and, should that happen, there are other women. Confidence plays a role as well. If you don't think you can get someone then why should she. Women notice these kinds of things.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 99
Out of my league
Posted: 10/25/2011 7:28:55 PM

We don't always (in fact, rarely) date 'what we are'. But we date people who bring the same amount of value 'to the table'. The most extreme, common, and obvious example is, rich ugly fat guys date poor, but very beautiful women.

I disagree. Studies show (and personal observation as well) that good looking guys hang with good looking girls. The gender reversal CAN happen, but many times they can be just friends and you don't know it... or he has tons of money, which is usually a factor when she's older if he's ugly & she's hot.... or they were married and he let himself go. So you do have to take long-term married people out of the equation.

In the end, if there were no "leagues", then there would be no people significantly better looking than another by the general populace's eyes... which means models in magazines would be randomly selected, as taste would be random -- which it's not. There's an objective baseline and it shifts to some degree subjectively in the details.

When have you seen a ripped, good looking guy with a decent job land a date and eager to start dating a 300lb unemployed heffer with 4 kids? League difference.
 NotAGuppy
Joined: 10/9/2011
Msg: 100
Out of my league
Posted: 10/25/2011 8:10:24 PM
I sort of agree with the guy who used the baseball analogy, but I would leave the words "babe" and "banging" out of your vernacular. Otherwise, it won't matter what "improvments" you make. No self-respecting woman will want to seriously date or "bang" you.

That said, remember that a lot of pretty girls are alone or just hanging with her girls because men expect to be shot down so they don't ask them out. Also, not all women are looking for the GQ model with the fat wallet. I met a couple the other night who I never would have imagined together. She was pretty and personable and while he was personable, he wasn't what I would consider to be attractive. But they had great chemistry and seemed happy. My guess is he saw her and decided to take a chance. Try it sometime. You might be surprised at what kind of woman will say yes.
 virVerus
Joined: 2/5/2011
Msg: 101
Out of my league
Posted: 10/26/2011 12:29:00 AM
I think a person is limiting themselves severely if they stick to someone in their perceived league. I've seen a lot of short, rotund gals who dress shoddily and yet they have a tall boyfriend or husband who's in shape.

I would say go for the women you're attracted to, but don't discount the Plain Janes either. The best way to do this is get to know them and see if they have things in common with you.
 Natgoat
Joined: 3/24/2011
Msg: 102
Out of my league
Posted: 10/26/2011 9:13:59 AM
I'd rather take my chances with women that are *OML*, and maybe...
Just M A Y B E ...find one that finds Me interesting enough to start something wonderful with....(It's happened , before!!)
...than...
Settling for someone that I'd be embarassed to be seen with in public...
...which does , luckily , also leave a fair amount 'In Between' !!
Is a Challenge needed....to get some of the Very Attractive women just to respond to a
polite Note of Admiration..??!!
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