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 AnnudderVoice
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 279
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????Page 10 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
And I'm over 50 and everything seems to be working in overdrive.

It's a curse, I tell you! A curse!

Annudder
 antjeanie
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 281
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 4/27/2007 3:18:11 PM
I'm just absorbing ALL this information.
Been a long dry spell.
 Branes
Joined: 7/27/2006
Msg: 285
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 6/28/2007 1:36:44 PM
I think we know that we only have one chance as opposed to multiple ones when we were younger. The old "I may not be as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was" thing applies so we want to make it last as long as possible for both of us. In my case, as I got older, I learned to appreciate foreplay. To learn how to build up the excitement in both of us, and to appreciate the beauty of a woman's body not just to jump right in and go for it. And giving pleasure is pleasurable in itself. In lovemaking you use all 5 senses, not just touch. And I, for one, love to hear those moans, groans, cries, squeeks or whatever weird sounds women make at that moment. And men too..we make our own weird sounds.
And I think a lot of men have learned that most women have a hard time reaching orgasm just thru intercourse unless the man has a lot of stamina. Without the benefit of the little blue pill, I doubt that most men our age can sustain intercourse for 15 minutes or more without having their own orgasm. And I've known women that take that long. Not recently, however, this was before my late wife. And without getting graphic, women I've talked to say that orgasms from oral sex are more intense than from intercourse. But that, of course, depends on the woman.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 289
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 6/28/2007 7:03:25 PM
i have not read this "entire" thread, but did skim through it. i am not following your leap in logic, let alone interpretation. you read some profiles and some older men say they can please their partners. although you say they say it is their "role". i have not seen that. but even if i am wrong, the leap to their living w/o sex is one very big leap.

mature and sophisticated men (and women) would like to please their partners. past the teens and early 20's supposedly we have developed impulse control centers in our brains.

as my friend's husband says: why eat mc donald's when he has steak at home? well, i'm a vegetarian, but why not have a partner who takes his time, knows what to do, is attracted to you, gets turned on by you, also likes to hold you, has enough brains to talk to you in between--after all, it's going to take a few hours. and i ASSUME you know how to reciprocate!

now why would a man take a few hours, if he didn't like sex? as to living w/o it? well that's the same for men and women. we've been "through the mill" --some of us more than once. we wait and hope. some give up and some keep on searching. we allow ourselves to be more vulnerable--that takes bravery. so, yes, we do w/o "it" because we are looking for a lot more and know we only have so many more years on the planet to find it.

so we take time seeking the right investment. men and women. then we find it and try to protect it. like the stock market, the relationship goes up and down (even the good ones) and thank G-d for the gift of a good sexual relationship and chemistry to steer us through it all!

so are you worried that as you get older, you will get less sex or find men who are bored with it? because it takes too much work? for me, it's been the opposite with the man in my life right now. up until now (past relationships), it has not been great. now it finally is. the sexual part. but it takes commitment for two old farts to agree on things and not get set in their ways!

for me, it's the reverse. my man could probably do w/o sex as he did before he met me. he still hurts from his prior marriage. although we have only reached the agreement to be monogamous stage and the very good friendship stage, because of all the old tapes it seems, i still have way more than i did before. we did w/o sex for six months in between the beginning of our relationship and currently. we know each other for almost a year and a half. we just could not do w/o the friendship. the nurturing. the laughing. and then, the rest fell back into place. it sure ain't mc donald's!

there is HOPE people. do not give up!!!! but dam-, it sure takes a lot of work on just the daily living part!
 kangarucci
Joined: 5/24/2007
Msg: 292
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 6/29/2007 2:34:03 AM
YOU KNOW WHAT FOLKS....This is all oral. You are all talking about it when you should be out doing it.
Older men are far more considerate.
Younger men are fun but very time consuming.
Besides, when its all over at least you can talk to older men.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 293
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 6/29/2007 8:24:00 AM
Well I'm glad the necessity or years whichever it was, forced them to slow down a minute just in time to smell some roses...I'm happy and thankful!
 Branes
Joined: 7/27/2006
Msg: 294
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 6/29/2007 10:19:47 PM
This is all oral. You are all talking about it when you should be out doing it.

That's a lot easier said than done, otherwise most of us wouldn't be hanging out on POF.
And I am NOT suggesting that everyone is here just for sex. But in the long run most of us are, we just want more to go with it.
 pepperman
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 300
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/4/2007 4:33:20 PM
Into my 50's and the desire is still strong. I believe a male's decling libido, besides medical reasons, is a result of his partner no longer responding to him as before and the feelings of rejection, inadequacy cause lack of confidence and desire declines. If he responds by trying harder to please his partner, and is successful, the reward might be more sex. If there is no success the relationship is doomed.
 redhawk130
Joined: 8/7/2006
Msg: 302
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/5/2007 9:27:36 PM
Don't know what other's intentions are, but I love to please, since I was a youngin, still do and I have to say I enjoy my partner pleasing me too. I do however prefer giving pleasure.
 Myrna43
Joined: 7/6/2006
Msg: 306
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/7/2007 9:37:35 AM
Hey, SassieBlond, I know plenty of men over 70 who have a very high libido. As far as your question goes I do not know how to tell if its low libido or just not into anyone but I would reject him either way. I can tell you one thing for sure, I am sooooo glad sex does not have to stop after 60.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 309
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/10/2007 2:34:33 PM
2coldhands ~~ Wrote this a ways back. Fits here, lol!

Kiddles, listen up


Love at twenty is a piccolo,
pleasing and piercing.


At thirty-five, a string quartet,
sweet and mellow


Over sixty?
Full orchestra
Carnegie Hall
Toscanini
harmonics of a lifetime

9/15/2005
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 313
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/12/2007 9:52:49 AM
"PrimeWoman" wrote:

I think it's a marketing device, trying to "sell" their abilities/prowess as if they were doing an infomercial. I wonder how many of their former partners would claim it to be false advertising or that the engine functions well but the steering and linkage are faulty? Personally, that kind of focus from the jumpstart I find tacky.
I totally agree ... I've met some who advertise just that ... "love to please my lady", "I'm not done 'til she's done" ... and while that kind of "advertising" in the profile is quite tacky, I have still ventured out to meet them.

I have found some to be quite selfish, self-centered individuals. IMO if they are exhibiting that kind of behavior while just out on a casual "meet and greet" to have a mere cup of coffee ... I can well imagine that sharing time with them in the bedroom would be a nightmare ... NO THANKS!!!!
 john52758
Joined: 8/19/2007
Msg: 324
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 9/14/2007 2:45:19 PM
Well, I'm 49 and still have a strong libido. But my age/libido has never changed my attitude towards sex. The lady's needs before mine...Always has been, always will be.
 yepper1218
Joined: 10/4/2006
Msg: 326
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 9/24/2007 9:30:20 AM
Firstlight you got that so right. I have alway believed that the women cums 1st she must be taken care of 1st then I worry about myself.
At 56 I still have a strong libido and alway willing to learn new things.
 Mike72801
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 330
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 12/30/2008 4:12:13 AM
Guys don't talk to each other about intimacy like women do, but I would surmise that every man of every age considers pleasing their partner important. People are different and intimate pleasure is experienced differently. Our partners need to know how and why our sensory and emotional stimulus works and nobody knows knows better than we do. We have to communicate what works and what doesn't. If our partners aren't making the grade it may be our fault. Or the erotic zones are so different they are never going to align.

I think most people have figured this out.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 331
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 12/30/2008 4:24:09 AM
Oh Mike.....indeed tis not so and not always the case with the older gentlemen either, even tho we're hearing some glowing reports here . It's a choice to be interested in that aspect and not something that comes naturally to all in the time line of life.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 336
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 12/30/2008 2:56:29 PM
Actually I'm kind of curious about all that.....
If a man does have a waning Jr. .....does he have waning sexuality? Does his desire for sex lessen and does it become a question of touch and being touched, body intimacy? I've had little experience with this so I really don't know what a man needs a woman for if he's not excited about the idea. I also get this picture in my mind that a Jr. is like a cats tail....you know what he's thinking by how it twitches....so how would I know what he was thinking about what was going on? I mean half the fun is knowing you are desired.
 doyle5900
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 340
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 1/12/2009 6:38:22 PM
I have no idea what you said.. or meant ?
Please be direct...forget being coy..
 sailor-
Joined: 3/16/2008
Msg: 352
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 1/29/2009 11:56:03 AM
well now, after reading this one sure makes a man sort of wonder?what happened .as a man in his 65 th year still trying to find a partner and yes ,all equipment still works,just fine .may not be a machine gunner any more but still works.so what is it with women when they look at me?what is it they are after ?also sorry for getting of the path here.just kind a wonder what happened to this good looking lady with her,and hubby? vic.
 kpooks
Joined: 12/23/2008
Msg: 358
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 2/26/2009 9:22:38 PM
I derive intense pleasure from pleasing my partner. It excites me knowing that I'm exciting her.
 ForeverLong
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 360
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/1/2009 6:38:17 AM
Pleasing a woman sexually is my priority, it's very satisfying and exciting to see her having quivering mind blowing orgasms. No low libido here.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 363
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/16/2009 3:41:31 AM
I think the younger; get in, get off, get out mentality simply slows down enough later on life for a lot of men that hadn't taken the time before to smell the roses and enjoy their sensuality.
Some men are born with this talent, but in my experience it wasn't all that common on the average.
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 368
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 10/4/2009 11:48:00 AM
I dont think it is always a maturity issue, some people have more depth than others. Some men and women never mature in some avenues of their life. To assume that everyone is like you and has found a greater depth in relationships can lead to misunderstanding...I had relationships in my 20's with men who treated me as a equal and not a plaything.

As an example, a man (52) that I dated for four months at first seem to do everything he could to please me, it was amazing until I realized he was doing it for the wrong reasons...he wanted to control and at the end honestly admitted it. In that moment of honesty I told him how much I enjoyed his touch and he then said that he touched me for his pleasure not for mine.... I have always touched the other person for their pleasure, never ever considered it otherwise....so atleast I learned something.

I think when you are with the right person it isnt about libido...its about having the type of chemisty that romance and flirting is a 24/7 things...it isnt something you do late at night when you are in bed together and cant sleep...you make it the priority in your life to make sure the other person knows they are who you want. It isnt a one sided relationship where the female is the sperm bank, it is a relationship where two open and honest people allow the other person in.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 371
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 10/5/2009 2:20:03 PM

my looks changed. I am that 1 in 4 of men whose hair gets goofy, partly bald, receding, whatever you call it. I also gained a few pounds, and look older, the way people do. This means I am not anywhere near as attractive as I once was. Compared to other men, forget it.

I don't live without sex. I masturbate. I live without sex with other people. Pleasing one's partner isn't just about emotions and technique or even love. Women feel badly about themselves if all they can get is someone who looks have degraded to the point mine have. It depresses their own libido. Then, no matter how good you are in bed they can't enjoy it.

It's like having a rusty beater of a car. It makes you feel shabby, no matter whether it runs good or where you drive to. Hi libido + low sex appeal = no play.


Find this sad in so many ways. After trashing yourself, you moved on to trashing women (assuming that no woman can see anyone except for looks). I think most of us (Lard, I *hope* most of us) of either sex, by our age, have learned, finally, that it's what's inside the present, not the pizazz of glossy paper and glittery bow, that is important: mind, soul, self. . . .

My guy is shortish, bald, and chunky -- much more of a station wagon than a Maserati, lol! And there is not one molecule of that body I don't love. As for mind, self, and soul -- simply put: I adore him, and all his parts. And have waited for a quite long time to find him. Nor do I feel badly about myself. Ever. Can't even begin to imagine why I would.

But perhaps you're right -- I also drive a 15 year old Escort, and it makes me feel good, good, good: it gets 43 mpg, it still doesn't burn oil (I have *never* had to add oil -- at oil change they take out what they put in last year), the insurance and taxes are low, I have no car payments, and it has never once let me down. So I don't see either a man or a car (or the house I live in, or the clothing and jewelry I wear) as anything except for what they *are*. . . . In this case, the bright, interesting, honorable, funny, caring, tender, sexy man that I love.

You have made yourself feel like 99ยข ~~ I feel like a million bucks!

"Life is a banquet... and most poor suckers are starving to death!" -- Auntie Mame ...

 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 372
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 10/5/2009 2:28:55 PM
^^^^ on the quote

One of the men I loved the most was the least attractive, his beauty was on the inside and the connection was out of the world. Some women see with their heart not their eyes.
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