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 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 239
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????Page 4 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)

20 hour waiting period for men over 50.
I don't know any man over 50 that needs that much time to get an erection unless he has ED related to a physical complication. Even then, the new drugs currently available dismiss a man having to wait for 20 hours in order to achieve a desirable erection.

Besides, pleasing a lady does not necessarily require that a man always show up with the erection ... he just needs to be able to please the lady. Not all of us view sexual pleasure in the same way. Like I said previously ... it's the thought that counts. I'll take a man any day who is eager and willing to please over a guy who strives for the marathon ...

... quality over quantity is still the best way to go.
 Mesnafugal
Joined: 7/12/2005
Msg: 242
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 6/29/2006 2:24:11 AM
What about the "rabbit".. did you have a pet one or something?
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 247
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/3/2006 12:25:46 PM

i really was shocked that a person could have taken something and twisted it into a sexual-dysfunction problem, to get attention. let alone the insults you may have rendered to other members for being open to giving their partner a front seat in their life.....grow up........before posting such a ridiculous remark......
Oh please ... settle down a little.

The OP has already discussed her reason for starting this thread. I think it's a valid subject and apparently the moderators and admin. of this site do too or it would have been sent to the garbage bin a long time ago!

OT: I'm just pleased ... at my age ... to see that there are a lot of men who are willing to go all out for their partners. In the meantime, I've had some personal discussions with some of the posters on here and discovered many nice things about them and their reasons for wanting to please ... how their ideas of pleasing their partners evolved ... it has been a very good experience for me.

There are a lot of reasons for starting such a thread ... I find it hard to believe that anyone would purposely start such a thread just to get attention let alone generate the possibility for others to render insults on their fellow posters.



 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 249
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/3/2006 1:11:46 PM

Woooooooooooo-hoooooooooooo-weeeeeeeeeeeee dauchsie . . . this 56 year old agrees with you 100% on that statement!
And I think part of the reason is that the men of our age prefer to take the time to spoil their ladies in bed. Can't say I've met who's libido wasn't fully active and raring to go
And this 57 year old has to agree.

And BTW ... there's nothing wrong with that at all. Bring on the "pleasers" ... we can handle it!

 Graybeard43
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 250
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/3/2006 2:06:56 PM
I've been plowing thru this forum and my analysis is that Cotter has it together well.

Now, speaking for myself: At the tender age of 63, it is a fact that I do not have the same libido as I did at 30 or even 50. Also, selfish sex isn't the least rewarding. Maturbation works just as well and and can be more pleasurable. Pleasing my partner is at least as important as pleasing myself and when we are both pleased, nothing is better. Nothing is more stimulating to me than to know that partner is also stimulated. If she is hot, you can bet that I will have no problem rising to the occasion.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 251
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 7/3/2006 5:45:56 PM

I've been plowing thru this forum and my analysis is that Cotter has it together well.
Bestill my heart ... Graybeard ... flattery will get you everything.

Pleasing my partner is at least as important as pleasing myself and when we are both pleased, nothing is better. Nothing is more stimulating to me than to know that partner is also stimulated.
Why do all these wonderful "pleasers" live so doggone far away?

If she is hot, you can bet that I will have no problem rising to the occasion.
Now that was worth coming back in here to read ... that is just so hot!
 NapJoe
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 252
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 2/25/2007 6:01:52 AM
Some men have low libidos. Some women have low libidos. You need to find out if you're sexually compatible before any real serious commitment can occur.

If you're looking for first-date sex, then say so. Many women enjoy that. Some don't. Again, it's compatability you're seeking.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 254
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 2/25/2007 8:47:12 AM

If you're looking for first-date sex, then say so. Many women enjoy that. Some don't. Again, it's compatability you're seeking.
I totally agree ... if you are looking for first-date sex ...

.... put it in your profile

in BOLD CAPITAL LETTERS ... like that.

Anyone need help learning how to do that? I'll be glad to tell you.


OT ...
I can only refer you back to my previous posts.
 NapJoe
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 255
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 2/25/2007 6:15:07 PM
The lower the libido the greater the need for friendship.
 NapJoe
Joined: 1/17/2007
Msg: 257
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/5/2007 10:34:01 AM
Certainly. I can see your point.

you wrote -- My intention was not to degrade your role as a man by just getting by, stop multitasking and let the power of a woman consume you. It easy once you let it happen.


I noticed none of you men said anything about how the lady’s attitude towards her sexuality/sensuality effects your wanting to please. It appears there is a silent mechanism that turns on in the case that you might be needed.
 Mesnafugal
Joined: 7/12/2005
Msg: 258
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/5/2007 10:05:53 PM
wow.. I think at 48.. my sexual drive is finally slowing down...

Nawwww... not after I thought about it.

I think sexual compatability is very important and that is from someone who has had two husbands who did not have the same "drive" as I had therefore making me feel like a nypho... Now I realize I was the "normal one" they were not at the time. They were not old enough to not want it... they just lost interest (workaholics)... and when they did.. I gained a divorce...

That may sound terrible.. but... at the time I needed that physical love just as much as the other, which actually neither of them were very good at ... what the hell did I marry them for???? Geez.. must have been a brain fart the second time!!!
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 260
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/6/2007 8:10:12 AM
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/datingPosts6749871.aspx
Could you cuddle if it didn't lead to sex?

That's another thread that could be similar to this one ...

While it doesn't discuss "pleasing" the woman in the same manner as this one does ...

... it still touches on the fact that even "cuddling" is very pleasing and no "bedroom gymnastics" even have to take place.

It doesn't mean that the man's libido is low ... it just means that the "pleasing" aspect is more in place ... the "front runner" so to speak.

One gentleman in there put it quite nicely ...
Call me crazy, but hey, I figure cuddling is better than sex. (yeh, ego aside boys, try and have sex for as long as you can cuddle..ain't gonna happen)
He's only 27 years old ... but he already has the clue.

He already realizes that it's not just about "actual sex" ... it's about the closeness we feel with our partner as well. We don't have to have "wild monkey sex" in order to achieve that.
 Mesnafugal
Joined: 7/12/2005
Msg: 262
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/6/2007 7:13:47 PM
Well Lipstick, I'm glad to say that I prefer to be honest with myself and the person I'm with and If I'm with someone... if for compatibility.. then ok I don't need as much sex, but I am truely in love with the man.. then sex IS very important to me.. I have a need... or as you might say, I have an itch that needs to be scratched!!!

After reading slims.. explanation of what he's learned.. I need a cigarette and I don't even smoke.. *whew*...
 packleader
Joined: 8/18/2006
Msg: 264
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/6/2007 8:38:09 PM
""Yes, I love to cuddle and snuggle, but if you start revving my engine by introducing something that's more foreplay than cuddling and you keep doing that, then, you'd better be willing to go down the sexual path with me. That doesn't always have to mean intercourse, but I hated to be left wishin' for what never happened.""


Now here is a woman who can appreciate the drag races.....varoom..........

Pack
 AnnudderVoice
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 269
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/30/2007 1:35:56 AM

OK...maybe I am ignorant to this...what does "Pleasing" have to do with "Low Libido"?
Well said, Manny...

Annudder
 canyunflyer
Joined: 2/6/2006
Msg: 271
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/30/2007 8:56:56 AM
As usual... too many pages to read it all. But I will tack up my 2-bits worth anyway.

I don't get this? Whats with all the gratuitous rhtoric about being so selfless..and concerned...and only caring about my partners satisfaction..and on and on??? I don't believe a darn word of it. And furthermore... thats not the way its supposed to be, either. I'm not ashamed of, or harbor the slightest guilt that I am just as concerned about my own sexual gratification as I am my partners. !!! Whats wrong with that? Nothing. Good lovemaker's enter into sex with the idea that they and their partner are going to get what they want..and they are successful. Period.

the operative words here are...Balance...Equality...and maybe, holistic. Sacrifice, selflessness, servatude.. and the like, are the counterproductive (inoperative) terms, in my opinion.

and another thing? Are all you guys (and gals) who keep spouting that you can 'service' yourselves just as good as you can having actual sex...... SERIOUS????? Unfortuately, I am far more familiar with this brand of 'release' than real sex...during the last years...However, I would never be so bold or outrageous as to pronounce that this is as good as feeling the flesh of a woman!! sheesh. Absurd.
 bonniebrownap
Joined: 10/27/2006
Msg: 273
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 3/30/2007 11:07:07 AM
This thread totally baffles me. My experience has been that I want to please while being pleased. Works every time. What does age have to do with it? Don't know. Ain't that old yet. Experience? Yeah, that is where it is at. Although the back seat of a 442 fades in my memory, the pleasure was still all mine/his. Older men, I'll have to admit that my new otto is "go slow, I like it low". Oh my doodness, I have been alone way too long. Where is the thread for griping? I change my purple wristband hourly.
 eeyore1957
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 277
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 4/26/2007 12:41:45 AM
It is definitely not a form of low libido. It is a concession to the ravages of aging, and experience and maturity showing a man that there is more to sex than 'wham, bam, thank you m'am'.

It is the rare man who can sustain an erection without medicinal or surgical help after age 45. By then job stress, poor diet, and lack of exercise lead to diabetes, obesity, and poor health, all of which affects a man's ability to perform. Can older men live without sex? You answer your own question when you state that men try to please their partner as they grow older. There is more to the sexual experience than vaginal penetration, and more ways to please a woman than with a stiff penis. An older man has to make concessions to the aging process and develop those alternate ways of pleasing the woman he is with. As men grow older, those who do have sex find it more difficult to perform at the level they did in their teens and twenties. The desire is there, but the body fails them.

Given a choice of intimacy with a woman and no intimacy at all, men make those choices and adapt. Men lose interest in sex when they are being measured for a coffin, not before.
 AnnudderVoice
Joined: 2/26/2006
Msg: 279
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 4/27/2007 2:21:43 AM
And I'm over 50 and everything seems to be working in overdrive.

It's a curse, I tell you! A curse!

Annudder
 erm1956
Joined: 2/20/2007
Msg: 280
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 4/27/2007 2:49:01 AM
We need this thread moved to the "Sex and Dating" forum. It's like free advertising!
 antjeanie
Joined: 4/1/2007
Msg: 281
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 4/27/2007 3:18:11 PM
I'm just absorbing ALL this information.
Been a long dry spell.
 Branes
Joined: 7/27/2006
Msg: 285
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 6/28/2007 1:36:44 PM
I think we know that we only have one chance as opposed to multiple ones when we were younger. The old "I may not be as good as I once was, but I'm as good once as I ever was" thing applies so we want to make it last as long as possible for both of us. In my case, as I got older, I learned to appreciate foreplay. To learn how to build up the excitement in both of us, and to appreciate the beauty of a woman's body not just to jump right in and go for it. And giving pleasure is pleasurable in itself. In lovemaking you use all 5 senses, not just touch. And I, for one, love to hear those moans, groans, cries, squeeks or whatever weird sounds women make at that moment. And men too..we make our own weird sounds.
And I think a lot of men have learned that most women have a hard time reaching orgasm just thru intercourse unless the man has a lot of stamina. Without the benefit of the little blue pill, I doubt that most men our age can sustain intercourse for 15 minutes or more without having their own orgasm. And I've known women that take that long. Not recently, however, this was before my late wife. And without getting graphic, women I've talked to say that orgasms from oral sex are more intense than from intercourse. But that, of course, depends on the woman.
 Rythmn
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 289
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 6/28/2007 7:03:25 PM
i have not read this "entire" thread, but did skim through it. i am not following your leap in logic, let alone interpretation. you read some profiles and some older men say they can please their partners. although you say they say it is their "role". i have not seen that. but even if i am wrong, the leap to their living w/o sex is one very big leap.

mature and sophisticated men (and women) would like to please their partners. past the teens and early 20's supposedly we have developed impulse control centers in our brains.

as my friend's husband says: why eat mc donald's when he has steak at home? well, i'm a vegetarian, but why not have a partner who takes his time, knows what to do, is attracted to you, gets turned on by you, also likes to hold you, has enough brains to talk to you in between--after all, it's going to take a few hours. and i ASSUME you know how to reciprocate!

now why would a man take a few hours, if he didn't like sex? as to living w/o it? well that's the same for men and women. we've been "through the mill" --some of us more than once. we wait and hope. some give up and some keep on searching. we allow ourselves to be more vulnerable--that takes bravery. so, yes, we do w/o "it" because we are looking for a lot more and know we only have so many more years on the planet to find it.

so we take time seeking the right investment. men and women. then we find it and try to protect it. like the stock market, the relationship goes up and down (even the good ones) and thank G-d for the gift of a good sexual relationship and chemistry to steer us through it all!

so are you worried that as you get older, you will get less sex or find men who are bored with it? because it takes too much work? for me, it's been the opposite with the man in my life right now. up until now (past relationships), it has not been great. now it finally is. the sexual part. but it takes commitment for two old farts to agree on things and not get set in their ways!

for me, it's the reverse. my man could probably do w/o sex as he did before he met me. he still hurts from his prior marriage. although we have only reached the agreement to be monogamous stage and the very good friendship stage, because of all the old tapes it seems, i still have way more than i did before. we did w/o sex for six months in between the beginning of our relationship and currently. we know each other for almost a year and a half. we just could not do w/o the friendship. the nurturing. the laughing. and then, the rest fell back into place. it sure ain't mc donald's!

there is HOPE people. do not give up!!!! but dam-, it sure takes a lot of work on just the daily living part!
 kangarucci
Joined: 5/24/2007
Msg: 292
Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 6/29/2007 2:34:03 AM
YOU KNOW WHAT FOLKS....This is all oral. You are all talking about it when you should be out doing it.
Older men are far more considerate.
Younger men are fun but very time consuming.
Besides, when its all over at least you can talk to older men.
 rustytraveler
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 293
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Older Men 'Pleasing'...or is it a low libido?????
Posted: 6/29/2007 8:24:00 AM
Well I'm glad the necessity or years whichever it was, forced them to slow down a minute just in time to smell some roses...I'm happy and thankful!
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