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 Melissanicole
Joined: 5/27/2005
Msg: 6
what do you do when you have a child 168 hours a week to yourselfPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
Just wanted to say best of luck. I was in a similar situation with my preemie and because of his medical conditions/weak immune system there was no option to leave him with someone else. All I can say is that it shouldnt last forever, although it feels like it. My son was pretty bad for the first year, and by 18 months he was stable. Now at 3, he's a fairly regular kid aside from the asthma/digestive stuff- but those are both well-managed by medications and a few modifications to activity and diet.

Just hang in there... my only thought would be to find one person, family or friend... who could learn all about her conditions and help provide you with breaks. Obviously all of her conditions can be explained and people can learn to care for her as you have- but by having one consistent person they would become more comfortable and you would limit the amount of random people in and out that would be exposing her to germs.

Hang in there hun!
 Seductress99
Joined: 7/20/2006
Msg: 18
what do you do when you have a child 168 hours a week to yourself
Posted: 7/25/2006 10:08:42 PM
Hi, well first of all I must say sorry for you loss and its awesome that you are so dedicated to the health and wellbeing of your beautiful daughter. As it should be, of course.
I agree with what has been said so far about making some time for yourself, maybe there is someone safe and healthy that can come and stay with her for a little bit at a time until gradually you can take longer time away to do some stuff alone or with a friend.
This can be so beneficial for your health and so important.
I have never been in the same situation but I have had both my children be very ill and in hospital , as well as other relatives in the hospital and know its easy to spend all ones time doing stuff for others and it soon can lead to a burnout.
I have learned the hard way that its important to take breaks and actually schedule some "me" time or time just to veg. Even though I still feel guilty when I do that..LOL
I hope you both continue to do well, she is very lucky to have a Dad like you.
And of course, you are a package deal.
take care of you both
 Lil Red Riding Hood
Joined: 4/21/2006
Msg: 20
what do you do when you have a child 168 hours a week to yourself
Posted: 1/13/2007 1:01:54 PM
Hi.

I just wanted to say first and foremost. Congratulations on your daughter and being such a good Father. You are rare hon. Never forget that.

It will get easier as she gets older. I promise. As a Single Mom to three boys aged 11, 9 and 7. At times I thought I'd pull my hair out with frustration. Even now, on the rare occasion my Sons are gone overnight, all I do is sit here and enjoy the solitude.

Why can't you find a sitter, one on one, locally ? Just to give yourself a bit of a break now and then. No one will fault you for it.

I understand being a preemie she is probably more subseptable to colds etc.... but she's of the age now that it should be ok ?
 amore_vita
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 21
what do you do when you have a child 168 hours a week to yourself
Posted: 3/9/2007 1:38:09 PM
HOW DO THEY DO IT --

The second year was so much harder than the first -

first year -- basically baby is on her back

crib, bed, playpen, bassenet etc

nap - sleep , poop (new diaper) nap . sleep on & on

secon year is mobile baby ---

crawl, walk , run and explore

more of all ---- gets into everywhere-----------

NOW at age two
preschool - learning center

up at crack o dawn,,,,

clean all the dishes and bottles
make the breakfast and lunch

prepare the formula

bag up the days meal and lay out clothes

now---

near 8am --- wake the baby
have quality time with baby (we watch Curious George)
next is Baby Bath time
followed Baby breakfast time
and ready to go---

oh yeah !

get daddy cleaned. fed & ready to go


drive to school
sign baby in --

and now go to work ????

all this way before 10am


and other do this before 7 or 8am

HOW DO THEY DO IT ?

hats off to the sigle MOM'S and Parents out there
 amore_vita
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 23
what do you do when you have a child 168 hours a week to yourself
Posted: 8/22/2007 5:50:22 PM
At 2 1/2 years old ................
Helena has had all her vaccines since day ONE -- & Always up to date
we started a Preschool just after TWO -- a bit rough at the start
since Helena was a germ magnet and suffered many a cold besides
a total of 3 ear infections her first 6 months at school---
Lets see ,, I am by far the Oldest Dad at School= (as they only go to age 5)
the only Widowed and one of only TWO parents that are Single
in Helena's class.........
Feeding -- Eating issues are #1 now -- a huge problem
sippy cup a new adventure for me as is the open cup....
Helena still enjoys her bottle with SOY MILK..........
Each day brings new challenges -- by no means does this get easier ---
even with my lack of previous experience the first TWO years were
in so many ways easier than today -- when can a sigle parent take a break ????????
 amore_vita
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 25
what do you do when you have a child 168 hours a week to yourself
Posted: 10/23/2007 12:32:12 PM
Gracias , Obrigada, Danke, Efharisto , THANK YOU !!

SensualMomof2,,
I appreciate the positive words and feedback--

I should take your advice and have more "Me Time " I agree...
(I think most doctors would agree also)

It would be great to share that time with someone special ,,
but it is hard to meet a woman of quality when your the
Widowed Single Daddy and the "Oldest" Father at pre school..........

Helena-Lucia is a JOY to watch and inter-act with.......
Talking up a storm these days ,, all is new for both of us..
I know about things I never knew about before
"Dragon Tales" "Super WHY" and my favorite "Curious George"
So I guess my televesion habits will have changed for some time to come.

However I do think that Purple "Barnie" is a bit to gay for me !
 Ravenstar66
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 26
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what do you do when you have a child 168 hours a week to yourself
Posted: 10/23/2007 1:15:47 PM
I am a widow with a child.. since she was 2 months old. I had maternity leave/benefits from work for the first 9 months and stayed home with her... it wasn't easy. Some days I think I was just slogging through the days half awake. I stayed home until she was 24 months...working part time...then I decided not to go back to work but went to school instead, she was old enough for daycare by then.

It seems like a lot but those couple of years will go by faster than you know...sometimes the cut in pay is worth it.

Hang in there...ask for help when you can
 amore_vita
Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 27
what do you do when you have a child 168 hours a week to yourself
Posted: 10/23/2007 1:44:16 PM
ravenstar66

as in your case -
I kept my child with me every day for the first TWO years-
It was only this last March a month after her Second B-day
that I enrolled her in a pre school.. It has been good for both of us-

My little had already Great social skills with adults
but it has been wonderful to see her interact with children her own age...

Like in your situation my earnings took a dive those two years
but it was all worth it to se her everyday and build the bond that we have today...

At the same time I enrolled her in school - I also sought some outside
help on advice with school etc....

Still it is a 7/24/168 JOB and I have not much in the way of relief.......

My mother bless her (in her 70's) has visited in order to help at times..
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