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 Mzzzy
Joined: 7/10/2005
Msg: 11
What do you do when you are bipolar?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I'm about to lose my fella I think because he just don't get me..how emotional I am.My need to talk endlessly and repeat myself..that I'm extremely happy.He has this need to shut me down till he gets me depressed..then he can't stand that either..that makes me insecure and upset cause I don't like being sad,told to be quiet and stop that stuff..I like the happy go lucky..talk a hundred miles an hour me. I don't reckon I'll ever find anyone who will understand me .I frustrate my fella something awful..he don't understand either.I gave him a book to read on it..he didn't read it..don't wanna hear about it..just says..did ya take your meds today? I don't like that crap either.I'm a very happy person unless people try to shut me up and calm me down.I'm a free spirit..don't they get that?
 SAIUN
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 13
What do you do when you are bipolar?
Posted: 9/18/2007 8:48:39 PM

I get to know someone, we find we have so much in common, we both "merge" and then when I least expect it (usually when I am away from said person) I lose it. I become overwhelmed with anxiety, nervousness, fear, uncertainty... I just crack. It always ruins things. How do you explain that to someone? How do they accept it?


I know exactly what you're talking about. I can say from experience that the simple answer is this: They don't accept it. Perhaps if you're in a relationship with someone they may or may not be willing to work through it, but when in the dating stage people just think "Nope, I'm not gonna put up with a "weirdo"." Of course labels such as that are hurtful and misinformed but there are a lot of people that don't want to have to deal with bipolar disorder in someone while still in the getting-to-know-you stage.
 A-New-Beginning
Joined: 9/5/2007
Msg: 15
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What do you do when you are bipolar?
Posted: 9/18/2007 9:04:05 PM
3 of my last 4 major relationships were with women that suffered from bipolar disorder, to make matters worse I did a personality test on this site and it told me that that type of personality is one that I am naturally drawn too. I would say that first lady who gave you advice would be the main one to listen too, as I know from experience if you are bipolar you should always ALWAYS!! stay up to date on your meds, the difference it makes for those who love you is tremendous. If the meds the doctor is giving you aren't working tell him and get new ones or stronger ones but they are important. Also I would say you need to pray, to truly get help from this type of thing it truly takes time to get on your knees and ask God for help daily, repeatedly again this will make a big difference in your life. Another thing is you need a support network friends and family that will be there for you when things get rough, someone you respect enough to tell you to your face when you need to just sit down and chill.

I would say that obviously you have to tell the person you are dating that you are dealing with this, you just don't have to tell him right upfront. Make sure you pick someone who can be a help to you during this and not someone that who just press your buttons. Lastly bipolar people should never date other bipolar people, though you may both be able to understand what the other is going to the dangers of having both of you go off on each other and hurting each other and everything around you is real. I've had ladies break up with me and go after a someone more like them and the results where not good.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 23
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What do you do when you are bipolar?
Posted: 9/19/2007 8:04:23 AM
This thread started way back, but hopefully you are still reading.

There is a type of therapy that works with the extreme emotions with sensitive people. The Initials of it is DBT, which I forget what it stands for, but this is what it helps does.

It helps a person work with their emotions in a way to learn to balance logic with emotions.

Takes a heck of a lot of work, but I PROMISE it is well worth it.

Yes, people can be extremely insensitive to the disorder. AND YES, I really like the fact that you state it IS a gift. It has its place, and that is the hardest part for anyone that doesn't understand it.

I know about it, because I am Bi polar as well, and I used to let my emotions over take me, and send me into emotional drama land.

The other thing I do is LIMIT my lifes drama, and excitement. My life sometimes is rather boring, but that is ok, because that is how I recharge for the next emotional excitement and or drama that life throws my way.

Sure, take you meds, but also make sure you eat well, and healthy. A lot of the foods or so called foods have stuff ya wouldn't feed your dog, if you knew what it was. Stay away from the energy drinks, and limit caffiene.

If our body is in balance, our brain will work much better at staying in balance.

That doesn't mean giving up the creative, intuitive person you are either.

Good luck.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 31
What do you do when you are bipolar?
Posted: 9/26/2007 3:15:07 PM
And one could ask " what do you do if you are..."
dealing with any other serious medical condition.( Diabetes, hypertension, some types of arthritis) You are still a worthwhile and loving person, but those in the dating game these days want NO RISK of any kind of problem.
And one could ask " What do you do if you are a student?retired? temporarily un or underemployed? Just starting out in life, or starting over, after a divorce, job loss or illness has caused serious financial strain?
You could ask;
What does one do if one is over 50?
What does one do if they are too short, too tall, weigh too much( by popular standards) ?
What does one do when a single parent?
What does one do if one is not perfect?
It is my opinion that the "down" side of the greater acceptance of alternatives like online dating and other "personal ad" venues,dating/matchmaking services, etc has created an atmosphere of "endless shopping opportunities".

I'd be a fool if I tried to tell you that being bipolar isn't going to have an impact on your life, and you a bigger fool if you believed me.

While we're petitioning site management for a special fora for mentally ill, why don't we ask for special fora for physically limited? How about those who are having to rebuild their finances after divorce or being "downsized" in their work? Yeah I know we already have fora for those over 45, how about one for those over 59? How about one for people who care for children, parents or other family members with special needs?
OP you are going to find people who will turn away from you because of your condition. You will also find people who will turn away because they don't like whatever color your hair or eyes are, how tall you are ( or aren't), how you get your income. You will find people who will turn away from you if you have a pet( or pets) or kids.
Your bipolar condition is just a part of who you are. Some will reject you. It will NOT be "their loss" but it will certainly be YOUR GAIN.
You can do this.
Cindy O
 Ferrus Manus
Joined: 2/14/2007
Msg: 36
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What do you do when you are bipolar?
Posted: 9/26/2007 5:40:30 PM
i little form column a and a little from column b?
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 38
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What do you do when you are bipolar?
Posted: 9/26/2007 7:11:35 PM
IT IS people such as yourself that give this brain disorder, disease, what ever anyone calls it, the UGLY and incorrect ideal of it...

If a person who has this disorder/disease, could just think it away, we would. If there was really a magic pill or herb that didn't have side effects that are as harsh or harsher than the disorder/disease itself, we would be taking it.

It would really be great if a person could just say, I really don't feel that way, and poof everything was better, WOW wouldn't you win the noble peace prize.

I can't help but wonder, do you tell Diabetics to get off there butts to, and think happy thoughts, with happy music, and great pictures too. Or better yet, don't look at any pictures of sugar, and poof their pancreas works like it should?

BP as diabetes does require a life change, but it also has to be managed by professional help. When a person goes into a full blown mania, and are completely psychotic, they haven't a CLUE that their thinking is out of whack.

But again, guess you can just tell them to snap out of that too, after all it isn't real, and it is curable...

Yeah don't we wish!
 flyerinwash
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 43
What do you do when you are bipolar?
Posted: 9/26/2007 11:51:28 PM
you find someone whom is able to understand your mainia and your lows. We all find someone who loves us for who we are,,, the only problems is is sorting through the bullshht. Do your thing and close your eyes some time and hope that this is the one (thats actually normal). It will be there as long as you allow yourself to be open.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 45
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What do you do when you are bipolar?
Posted: 9/28/2007 2:56:44 AM
Artist you are correct it can very well be hereditary.

People that are on the down low can see no light at the end of the tunnel, and as you have seen in your own family end it, a lot of times because they just can't see life ever getting better.

I have the disorder, and some days I can't stand the fact that I do.

I am very lucky that I learned to build a support system around me that makes sure if I am acting out of balance they check in to see if I am ok.

It is extremely hard for them to hear the down side.

One thing I want to make you aware of; there are personality disorders that DO mimic BP, and these are issues that need to be resolved through a different type of therapy.

Some of the people who "sleep in coffins" dress in all black ETC ETC, do it for attention, there is no doubt. BUT those who have BP, and these personality disorders have an up hill battle, because getting treatment isn't easy. Meds cost a bundle, and many times they don't work, or make things worse.

I am glad I could get you to see a different point of view, because a lot of times a person IS reaching out for help, and have been surrounded by people who reject them for this disorder. Good portion of my family has. Believe me, if I could just think it away, or take a nice little pill to correct it I would.

Take heart that you are willing to educate yourself, because you may have children that end up with it, or it might pop up unexpectedly in your own life. Mine didn't show up until I was 40.

Good luck
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 46
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What do you do when you are bipolar?
Posted: 9/28/2007 3:04:21 AM
Artist, I was also responding to "housefan"... I am in shock that he could suggest what he has.

Kind of like suggesting a person with no arms get over themself in not being able to tie shoelaces...

Ignorance like that is what makes dating as a BP hard for all of us.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 49
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What do you do when you are bipolar?
Posted: 9/29/2007 11:45:55 AM
Artist, you hit the nail on the head. education for yourself, and learning what is really bugging you, and when you are bugging out.

Often people will think you are going bi polar, when you have a legit reason for being ticked off, upset, or are just letting a little steam off.

LOL, Like the joke about the coffin, however there are people that do that.

I had thought it was someone else that had responded. Felt like a dope when I went back and read where the posting came from.
 PacificStar
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 59
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What do you do when you are bipolar?
Posted: 11/15/2007 9:32:46 AM
Thanks to all the folks that took the time to post and put themselves out there and talk about BP. While I resist being or assigning lables it does not mean I think serious discussions and education about what real life brings many people is not needed.

I really get so sick of hearing the ugly remarks that some make; even professionals with their psychobabble this and that. Like this is something people choose or the one thing that is so much worse that they can deal with whatever their issue is because it could be BP. Those people often think they go "unheard" duhhh!

I kind of wish it wouldn't be such and us against them world. Or that those who love us have so much to deal with as secondary patients of BP endureing the down parts. I don't like the word patient either because not always would I see it as an illness. For some reason the word exceptional finds favor with me because it doesn't imply as much negative tone but acknowledges the differences from the all accepted all might norm so many seems to be constantly conditioned to strive for. The older I get the less I want to be fitted into "normal".

Anyway I wish you well. Keep you in my prayers.
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