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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Is Daycare Bad?      Home login  
Joined: 3/25/2006
Msg: 1
Is Daycare Bad?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
It seems like people have an attitude that they must stay home because daycare is inferior. I went to daycare and I thought it was a good experience. It teaches social skills and allows kids to have fun. It seems like Daycare is demonized quite a bit.

I'm just not convinced that staying home with your child is going to make them a "better" person. I went to daycare for years and I turned out okay. It seems like women are made to feel guilty if they pursue their career and send their child to daycare. This is unfortunate. Women shouldn't feel like bad mothers because they choose to pursue a career. Secret, the child will be fine at daycare. It doesn't take a mother's constant supervision to raise a good child.

Mother's also have spent years of their lives getting an education. Is it wrong if they want to use that for their career? I don't blame them one bit for wanting to work. I see pregnant mom's walking around the mall with two kids already and I think to myself, "I'm glad that's not me". For me personally staying home with 3 kids everyday would not be something I would want to do. Why not send the kids to daycare?
Joined: 3/25/2006
Msg: 2
Is Daycare Bad?
Posted: 4/14/2006 5:44:36 PM

I for one would LOVE to stay home with my kids, I would love to be the one to teach them everything they need to know, however, I don't have a choice.

I think that it is the choice that can make people feel selfish. In the neighborhood that I grew up in most of the mothers didn't need to work. They could live above average just from one income, so theirs wouldn't really be necessary. So the question is, is it selfish for a mother to work if she doesn't need to? I think that many people say, "yes" and it's unfortunate. What is wrong with a mother wanting to work?
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 3
Is Daycare Bad?
Posted: 4/14/2006 7:26:23 PM
OP, I believe there’s no right or wrong answer; much depends on the parents, the child, and the time they do spend together. I was lucky enough to have a full-time mother until I was 13; my father worked 2, sometimes 3, jobs so she could stay home with us; but back in those days most mothers did stay at home. She tried pre-school once for me; I made it clear I didn’t want to be there ;) And I’m very grateful my parents were able to do this for me. But I don’t believe the simple fact that she stayed home with me accounts for me being a good person. It’s more the values and morals my parents raised me with that did that; and that would have happened even if my mother worked when I was small.

While I personally believe it’s good for one parent to be around when the child is very young, by 3-years-old I believe exposing them to daycare or pre-school is a good idea, as it prepares them for going to regular school. I couldn’t imagine simply thrusting an only child into a full day of regular school if they hadn’t had some form of socialization with other children, even through regular play dates. IMO, it’s asking a lot of a small child to cope with such a huge change all at once like that. But I also don’t believe that a child will grow up with problems if they do start daycare at 8 weeks old either; again, it’s the parenting that counts. I’ve had experience with children who did and didn’t go to daycare from 8 weeks old; all had good parents and all turned out to be great young adults.

In today’s world, it’s not as easy for a parent to stay at home; two incomes are needed or it’s a case of a single parent raising their child. Well-run, experienced daycares are a blessing for these people. There’s also nothing wrong with a mother who chooses to work. Again, I believe it’s more how the parents are when they are with their child that counts the most. The problem I have are those people who have children and then only think about what they, the adult, wants. Having children does require some sacrifices, and unfortunately, some parents aren’t willing to make them. When I hear some parent who says they need to ‘find them self’ or spends no time with their child, has no clue who their friends are, or where their kids go when they’re not home, I have to wonder why they had children if they weren’t going to raise them until they’re adults. Those neglected children are the one I see who have problems as they become young adults.
Joined: 4/14/2006
Msg: 4
Is Daycare Bad?
Posted: 4/14/2006 8:54:19 PM
I would never put my kid in Dare Care. I heard a lot about the care takers. Not that I don't trust them, I just wouldn't leave her with JUST anyone. Plus why would you if you have someone to watch over them.
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 7
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Is Daycare Bad?
Posted: 4/15/2006 9:48:47 AM
I take greeat offense to people who"would never put their kids in daycare".... I am happy your family can afford to allow you to stay home, but I am a single mom, and do not feel that staying home on social assisstance is a realistic option rather than sending kids to day care. My son is now 9, & an only child. He has been in a licensed day care since he was 18 months old because a good job came along and I had no other choice but welfare. I chose not to let him stay with a home provider, but in a structured centre. He got to socialize and learn to share ( things as an only child at home he may have missed.) Do I wish things were different, yes, do I regret my discission to work...NO, My son also understands that you MUST go to work to earn the things you want, not sit on your ass at home collecting a cheque... True , many families, with mom and dad at home can make different choices, but no one should make anyone feel guilty for showing their children what a good work ethic is!!
Joined: 1/20/2006
Msg: 8
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Is Daycare Bad?
Posted: 7/14/2006 12:09:41 AM
daycare is not bad. but care must be taken in choosing one

daycare also provides some respite for the single mom.

even on your day off it is ok to use the daycare. take a nap, clean the house, pay some bills or even go to the movies. a little "me" time is acceptable.

remember, in order to take care of another, one must take care of the self.

thats why on an airplane they say for an adult to put their own mask on before they put one on the child... so you can be available to the child. if you put their mask on first and then pass out what good are you?

so use the daycare. i did when i had to. now when we spend time together, its a treat.
weekends are more special.

plus i work nights. so i need the nap breaks. though now the boys are both in school and camp during the summer.
Joined: 6/6/2006
Msg: 9
Is Daycare Bad?
Posted: 7/14/2006 12:12:05 PM
what worries me is the hours i work....( 10 hours a day ) paying for it and also my son is special needs as well. i have considered it like crazy my in laws look after them since infancy but it gets a bit out of control sometimes.

Ever since my ex hubby and I broke up 4 yrs ago they still insist to watch the kids...they didnt want strangers looking after them.They do a good job but in the past few yrs my business is thier ex and i have a tiff...she gives her opinion ect...

I think once both kids are in school full time it wont be so bad. Only mornings and evenings they will need to be watched.

I was on the full year mat leave and i went insane out of used to being busy ect. Some days i miss the kids like crazy and sure i get jelous of the moms i see with a flock of kids at the mall on a sucks to not be able to be a stay at home mom.I feel like im really missing out.

But in society today its next to impossible to maintain a family and live comfortably on one income.
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 10
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Is Daycare Bad?
Posted: 7/29/2006 6:47:16 PM
My younger son found two of his best buddies at day care and found they are starting Kindergarten with him at the same school!! He would not have that experience or social connection without day care. It also took me 3 tries to find one that he was truly happy at.

Now for my older son, who is 9, and does not socialize well, day care is not suitable.
Joined: 7/3/2008
Msg: 11
Is Daycare Bad?
Posted: 8/30/2008 4:20:10 PM
some people can honestly not afford to stay home with thier children. plus daycare is a good for socialzing your children before they go to school, which is somethiing all children should have
Joined: 5/6/2006
Msg: 12
Is Daycare Bad?
Posted: 8/30/2008 9:51:52 PM
if i had the choice... i wouldnt send my son to daycare untill he was able to talk. but i didnt have that choice. single working mom... hes been in daycare since he was 2 months old. i missed his 1st steps, his 1st word... the daycare lady had to tell me that he had teeth comming in. (but he never cried so i didnt know... he was and still is an awsome kid).. theres so much that ive missed with him... because i am the working single parent. on the other hand maybe it has made my son more social. he gets along with just about every kid he meets. hes well mannered and well behaved...(hes 9 now) but i think that comes from me raising him not weather hes been in a daycare or not.
but you never know what goes on in these places. especially when your child cannot expess themselves. your gambling with there life and there sanity really. i thank god that nothing exteemly terrible ever happened to my son while he was not under my eye and couldnt speak for himself.
and the people you send your kids to... daycare facilities.... those people could care less... they dont get payed enough to care in my own personal opinion.
and even if they have a good record and rapport with people... doesnt mean that something can and will happen. think of the people that abuse kids and its never reported until 10 years later or when the crap hits the fan... but they had a clean record when you checked em out right?
not to mention that your kid gets sick more when they go to a daycare... if one kid has something... there all going to get it. seems like when my child was young i couldnt even work a 40 hr week because he was constantly sick... didnt fly well with my employer either....
or think about other kids.... yeah the ones who bite and hit and do all of those things. how ticked off was i when my kid came home with his 1st bite marks or what have you.
lets not mention the cost... a lot of mothers will only make just a little over what it takes to send there child to daycare
im jus saying.... looking back on all the things ive been through... and if given a choice.... id have been a stay at home mom until my child was able to speak clearly.

jus my 2 cents... good luck and God bless
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