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 Sabrosura089
Joined: 11/29/2009
Msg: 76
Dating while unemployed?Page 4 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)

Do you also believe that in a case like this that a prospective date/partner should just disregard their lack of ambition or desire to get back up on their feet as an adult............all for love?


^^^I don't think many (adults) will disregard if their potential partner/a date has no drive to make his situation a positive one. If they are complacent or lack the desire to achieve, they would have no room in my life.

It may not make them a bad person, but it is not a desirable trait to possess.

The difference would make in someone you just met being in this situation vs. someone you have been dating and fell into hard times. However, there is no excuse not to better oneself (love or no love).
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 77
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/5/2010 5:58:01 PM
Appollodurus no one is going to pay your way in life.No one is required to date you and be your personal atm machine.I am disabled and can't work and I don't expect anyone to do for me what I can't do for them.I don't date at all actually due to my illness,but that's beside the point here.If you can't reciprocate in a dating relationship then you need to not date or to only date someone who has as much as you do.It's unfair to expect of others to have to pay your way.

Anyway if you are such a unshallow person then why have you not been able to find anyone?After all if you don't care about anything shallow like looks or money then I am sure there are tons of 400 pound women living on welfare with 5 different kids by five different men who are missing several teeth and whose wardrobe is filled with colorful tent dresses.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 78
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/5/2010 6:41:56 PM
^^^you missed the point. If my SO wants to go on a vacation he/she can but if he she is inviting me on that vacation the bill should be on him/her whether I have no money or I am a millionaire. If my SO wants to go to a certain diner it is on him/her because he/she invited me to go and if he/she can't go unless I chip in then he/she needs to find something either cheaper/free that we both can do if one can't pay because they are unemployed.

You should be willing to find ways to make it work if one has no money and is unemployed and if you are not it shows your SO that you don't care about him/her.

Saying screw you I am not dating you because you can't go to such and such place because you are unemployed is just wrong in so many ways, you should be willing to make it work in any circumstance.

If you like the person you wouldn't care what the circumstances were you would continue to date that person.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 79
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/5/2010 7:12:34 PM

their partner should just suck it up and be content to live the life of a struggling college student to appease their partner?



WHY, according to you, must one be willing to make it work in any circumstance?


If you loved the person you would be willing too.
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 80
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/5/2010 8:03:13 PM
As I stated before - work is a complete waste of a person's life. It's a waste of energy and it's pointless. Nobody will raise a stone after you're gone anyway. It's slavery. So you want to date and you're unemployed, huh? (whoever you are) What's the problem? Shallow women? Come on, they'd be shallow anyway. If you make millions they'd be like vultures on a corpse tearing off any piece that's left. If you don't make millions but you're still employed your job doesn't have enough status. *laugh* Who wants to date a gold digging prostitute like that anyway? Not me.

Just get out there and date your brains out unemployed or not. Besides, one thing doesn't necessarily have to exclude another, i.e., trying to become a slave (i.e. getting a job) and have a social life such as dating men/women on the side.
 Zikoris
Joined: 9/16/2009
Msg: 81
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/5/2010 11:42:14 PM
Hey RobertKoi, when are you going to share the secret of how to keep a roof over your head and food in your fridge without working, other than mooching/debt/illegal means? I guess you could squat in an abandoned building with a little garden and chicken coop on the roof - that would be pretty much free.
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 82
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/6/2010 3:09:11 AM
Bottom line is that if you really loved the person you would be finding a way to make it work no matter what the situation instead of giving up from the get go.

I find this quote quite hysterical, coming from a guy who INSISTS that anyone he's involved with MUST have sex with him every single day - or they're history. Aren't you the one that was complaining about your ex girlfriend who had cancer and was getting treatments for it, and you said she was "milking it" as an excuse not to live up to your daily sex 'standard?' You claimed her cancer and subsequent treatments were NO EXCUSE for her to not have sex with you every day.

And here you are insisting OTHER posters are being "shallow" if they want their mate to bring to the table financially what THEY bring. Yet, you think nothing of demanding daily sex from someone whether they want it or not - and if they don't want it every day, out the door they go.

How's that working for ya?
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 83
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/6/2010 4:59:19 AM
^^^^ you are comparing apples to oranges. Sex is a necessary component in a happy adult relationship, money however is not and it does not bring happiness to any relationship in fact it does not bring anything to the table. It is only a requirement to a very insecure person who wants to pawn off there lifestyle on someone else s tab.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 84
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/6/2010 9:38:07 AM

Hey RobertKoi, when are you going to share the secret of how to keep a roof over your head and food in your fridge without working, other than mooching/debt/illegal means? I guess you could squat in an abandoned building with a little garden and chicken coop on the roof - that would be pretty much free.

He was all over a living with your parents thread and defending doing it so he lives with his parents.I don't know what he is going to do when his parents die.Maybe he has an sibling who is going to continue on supporting him?

I really don't think you need to be employed to date because there are many instances in which people are not working yet can date and are not broke.Being unemployed doesn't always mean living in a box on the street and being in a desperate situation.However it doesn't exactly give you an advantage in the dating world.You either have to give up dating altogether or be content with the scraps you can get.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 85
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/6/2010 9:51:17 AM

Work is slavery and a waste of time and energy. Unemployed, stupid, ugly, beautiful or not, get out there and date as much as you like. Pleasure and joy comes before anything else.
spoken like a true socialist on crack, will pleasure and joy pay for grocery or gas at the pump? assuming you drive?

Bottom line is big difference between dating someone who was laid off from their job vs someone who is laid off and rather date than find work.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 86
view profile
History
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/6/2010 9:49:32 PM
How is it necessary SHALLOW for a women who has her life in order to not be willing to settle for less than a man who ALSO has his life in order? As a secure ,home -owning woman with a successful carreer,investments financially independent,ect....why would I be considered a "shallow" if I seek out a man who is in a similar boat ?



Because you are suppose to love a someone for who they are all about ,not how much they can spend on you.


May I call you Cinderello???? You seem to have that mentality of the Rich Prince and poor Cinderella..........
She work hard to stablished herself, and she is looking for a man who has the same category like her,it is not how much the man can spend on her ,because she can afford to spend on things for herself. If she knows how to climb the ladder of success therefore she is intelligent not using "love" but her mind to find a good man to share her life and experiences with him ....Got it ???????????
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 87
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/7/2010 5:55:26 AM
^^^ I am sure she has worked hard but expected that same thing in someone else is ludicrous. A person that would fall for a person like that even if he was equally successful would have to constantly play games and jump through hoops just to prove he is worthy. He is being used and is not a trusting/loving partner in the relationship

She is living a pipe dream and will always be single with an attitude like and she may not be directly using the guy for his money but she is definitely using the guys money for her own agenda.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 88
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/7/2010 6:37:45 AM
Bottom line is if you are unemployed it is prime time to date because you will get somone who is there for "you" and not there just because you are successful and have lots of cash to spend on vacations for her to go on *winks* with * you.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 89
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/7/2010 6:56:52 AM
^^^And who is that person, apollo? Someone out of work like the person looking to date?
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 90
view profile
History
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/7/2010 9:38:33 AM
msg134: Why do you think for her ??? She is not you.. She knows who she is ,and she knows what she's got as a person and a woman.. And she knows what she wants for a man........

So you think she use guys for her agenda and their money?? Well, your are describing your inner core on this forum ,what you think of her as a "smooch" that is what you are..

A wise woman doesn't need to date and sleep with a man for a long time ,she will know if a guy is loser or successful by his words..
Whatever you said is not working," loving of what they are" and trusting/loving a partner...lol she is not a drunken Sailor,so she is not buying you. Your empty wallet ,your life beaten looks profile photo, you might brag your "hard on" going ,going going on is not enough as a man and a person.... The name of the game here for men and women is ---- What you are and what you got, intelligence , and money that is the power and charisma ,you may not be rich like Donald Trump, but you got RESPECT and people will line up to YOU to be their partner...
<img src=http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif border=0>
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 91
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/7/2010 8:31:27 PM

Why should I or anyone work their arse off to fund the "fun" for the person who's not working?


No you would not be funding your date because if you were being reasonable with your date you would be find other things to do that you both love doing because guess why? because you love the person you are with for who they and you would be finding ways to work around the issue instead of saying screw you.

I am sorry but attitudes such as yours are not conducive to forming any sort of meaningful relationship.


Get your own damn job


Since you keep pointing this out, I am gonna say I do have my own money to spend but it is a certainty that if my date asks me to go on vacation with him/her that the bill would be on him/her because he/she asked me to go.
 zeryphex
Joined: 7/23/2006
Msg: 92
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/8/2010 10:06:55 AM
I have had a full-time job with insurance/benefits/retirement since 2007, and I totally would date an unemployed or less-educated girl/woman...she just has to be attractive/cute/pretty. lol

Does anyone know of a dating site for the unemployed?
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 93
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/8/2010 10:19:49 AM
I won't not date a guy who has less than I do - his finances are his business so long as they don't affect mine (either way). If I offer to take him on vacation, then obviously I'm paying for the trip. However my relationships tend to be team efforts, so it's a discussion between two people. If I want to go somewhere and my SO says he can't afford it and I don't want to cover the expenses, I will call a friend who's capable of pitching in and go. I might postpone or reschedule a trip, but I won't just give up on one should an SO not want to or not be able to cover his end.

Paying for someone else is something that's only OK if offered or accepted; it should never be expected as a requirement or condition in a relationship.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 94
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/8/2010 10:31:08 AM
^^^^ I do think that is very reasonable and I agree, I just don't agree with leaving someone just because they can't go on a certain vacation or to a certain diner because they are unemployed or have no money for whatever reason. I think that if you truly loved someone you would find other things to do together that are equally fulfilling.

You should not be ruling out someone just because of there employment status that is just wrong and you should not be making judgments based on what someone puts in that profession slot in your profile.


it should never be expected as a requirement or condition in a relationship.


This I do disagree with sort of but that is just for me. In any relationship whether it be a friendship or a date if they wanted me to go on a trip I would be expecting them to pay for it because they wanted me to go that badly otherwise we do something we both can do.

Another example that has happened frequently is with my real life friend is this. One of friend wanted to go see a movie with me and he had no one else to go with at the time and I didn't have money that day so he paid for it.

 S.O.U.L
Joined: 11/23/2009
Msg: 95
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/8/2010 12:41:57 PM
Ok so they do things that you can afford to do. If it's something out of your ability to pay (like a trip) they can do it with somone who can afford it.

Personally it sounds like you want other people to give up things they enjoy to accomodate you because you cant afford it or they have to shoulder the finanical burden while you benefit without having to contribute any thing but your presence.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 96
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/8/2010 2:13:20 PM
Most people date other people who are equal to them on all levels.Money is very important no matter what anyone says.It dictates whether or not you will have food,clothing shelter,utilities and things like a car and medical insurance.If someone is lucky enough to have a little bit more money in life then why would they want to date a dead weight who contributes nothing financially?No one lives for free and most people,unless you are a rich man looking to buy a piece of arm candy,will not pay your way in life.

You don't necessarily need to be employed to date,however as previously stated it limits your choices severely no matter the reason for your unemployment.I have had men with good jobs and university educations contact me a couple of times on here and,but I have always turned down any type of communication with them.Financially I can't contribute what they can and I refuse to be a dead weight.

If you are unemployed and want to date then do so.Don't let anyone tell you that you can't or shouldn't,but be realistic about the situation.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 97
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/8/2010 4:57:33 PM
I pretty much agree with the above poster (Ray of moonlight)
the only thing I would change is if someone is unemployed (no fault of their own) I really think they should skip dating and concentrate on finding work to earn some revenue

In this day in age you really need to earn money to enjoy life or even survive in a marriage.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 98
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/8/2010 5:22:23 PM

Most people date other people who are equal to them on all levels.Money is very important no matter what anyone says.It dictates whether or not you will have food,clothing shelter,utilities and things like a car and medical insurance.If someone is lucky enough to have a little bit more money in life then why would they want to date a dead weight who contributes nothing financially?No one lives for free and most people,unless you are a rich man looking to buy a piece of arm candy,will not pay your way in life.

You don't necessarily need to be employed to date,however as previously stated it limits your choices severely no matter the reason for your unemployment.I have had men with good jobs and university educations contact me a couple of times on here and,but I have always turned down any type of communication with them.Financially I can't contribute what they can and I refuse to be a dead weight.

If you are unemployed and want to date then do so.Don't let anyone tell you that you can't or shouldn't,but be realistic about the situation.


I am sorry but that is just wrong attitude to have , just because you make less or a lot less then your partner or you don't make any money does not mean you are dead weight or a burden.. You can contribute a lot of other ways. money is just 1 way.

all I know is that I will continue to date without looking at someones salary or job title and I expect the same from my date because I am not my job. I want someone that loves me for me and who I am. Someone who is dating me or not dating because of what I do or don't do is not loving me for who I am.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 99
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/8/2010 5:33:31 PM
actually, being unemployed is the perfect time for a FB....

I laugh at all these "gotta have a job" girls on here.

I can't tell ya how many women I've seen that have dated guys who just never work.

why? because he made them "feel" something for him.

which is always the key for guys to get women into them. once a woman 'feels' something for a guy, she'll give him her last nickel....
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 100
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/8/2010 5:35:09 PM

I am sorry but that is just wrong attitude to have , just because you make less or a lot less then your partner or you don't make any money does not mean you are dead weight or a burden.. You can contribute a lot of other ways. money is just 1 way.
why is that the wrong attitude its true, if you make significantly less than your partner example one makes $30,000.00 and the other makes $125,000.00 dont you think that would be a problem down the road?


all I know is that I will continue to date without looking at someones salary or job title and I expect the same from my date because I am not my job. I want someone that loves me for me and who I am. Someone who is dating me or not dating because of what I do or don't do is not loving me for who I am.
that's touching and it brings a tear to my eye... but reality son, we live in the real world , most people tend to hang out or date people with in their economic bracket. People who date people for the sake of one job is another story and that Im assuming your referring to?
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