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 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 101
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Dating while unemployed?Page 5 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
"I can't tell ya how many women I've seen that have dated guys who just never work.

why? because he made them "feel" something for him."

How is he going to get me to feel something for him, if I would never date him



Let's get serious here. If we are in a relationship with someone who looses their job, that is completely different than dating someone we know doesn't work, doesn't want to work.

What the heck would be have in common with someone who isn't as career oriented as we are? What the heck would we talk about? Did you have a nice day watching tv, surfing the net, walking in the park would get old very quickly.

I have never been attracted to anyone to isn't as motivated career wise as I am. I enjoy sharing knowledge of the battles they win and they battles they loose, as I am sure they would be interested in my career. How do I know this...............because that is what has worked for me for decades.

I get bored quickly with anyone I meet be in women or man, who can't be bothered to contribute to society.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 102
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/8/2010 7:29:56 PM

why is that the wrong attitude its true, if you make significantly less than your partner example one makes $30,000.00 and the other makes $125,000.00 dont you think that would be a problem down the road?j


its only a problem when the woman ain't really into that guy.

if he dont' make her 'feel' a certain way, he could have a million in the bank and she won't be with him.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 103
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Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/9/2010 7:05:25 AM
I am sorry but that is just wrong attitude to have,just because you make less or not less than your partner or you don't make any money,,,,,,,

As a woman who work hard to earned money to be independent and have a comfortable life, my answer to this message --a man who has no money but not a dead weight or a burden, is I don't need a houseboy/handyman to pay him sex, food,roof on top of his head, free vacation, free intertainment ,ect.. I can hire a Merry Maid once a week ,but I don't have to because I can easily do that task every day. And once in a while I need a licence handy man to do things in my house with no hassles.

why is that the wrong attitude its true,if you make significantly less than your partner example one makes $30.000 and the other makes $125.000 don't you think that would be a problem down the road ?


Yes ,it is like the Prince and Cinderella they did NOT live happily ever after, because of different mentality,different aspect of perception, different bracket.. the Prince is happy ruling the Kingdom, while Cinderella is happy cleaning the pots and pans,cleaning the castle,feeding the birds and cows or she become lazy with all the servants. and she eat bonbons or shopping all the time.........If I were a man who makes $125.000 I wouldn't fall for a woman who makes $30.000 a year as a waitress,or custodian ect... I would not even look at them as a partner , well it is different story if I hand her a $100.00 for a nice tryst. *wink

And I would not fall for a $125.000 bracket man , as a person making $30.000 ,even I am the most beautiful virgin in the whole world, I may not have the kind of intelligence and prestige he have ,but I will not subjected myself as a "meat"after he devoured my freshness I will be disgarded as a bone.. I would look for a man with my own bracket who will be comfortable with me and I with him...
This is REALITY OF LIFE....














 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 104
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/9/2010 7:27:48 AM
^^^ If one person is making 10k a year and the other is making 100k and they are unhappy it is not because of money, money is just the fall back excuse, Some of you need to get of your high horse and start solving the problem and solutions together with your date instead discarding him/her like some piece of garbage.

The way some of you treat relationships like some business arrangement is very despicable and that is not the reality of life and that is not a real relationship.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 105
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/9/2010 9:43:06 AM

If one person is making 10k a year and the other is making 100k and they are unhappy it is not because of money, money is just the fall back excuse, Some of you need to get of your high horse and start solving the problem and solutions together with your date instead discarding him/her like some piece of garbage.
you know the old saying when your mix a bulldog with a shitzu what do you get , you got it.... bull what????

Can you name the top 3 reason why people divorce??

The way some of you treat relationships like some business arrangement is very despicable and that is not the reality of life and that is not a real relationship.
you're batting a thousand there slick, look most people do not treat relationship like business, what happens is after a while people who are in relationship realizes that " oh my partner" is either driving us to the poor house with constant spending on credit, or not enough saving or being a miser or what ever it comes down to money and finances, even infidelity sometimes is caused by one partners lack of money knowledge or a problem with the finances which causes stress.
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 106
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/9/2010 9:43:54 AM
Don't use energy and precious money on dating. Use it on getting a job.


The way some of you treat relationships like some business arrangement is very despicable and that is not the reality of life and that is not a real relationship.

Look up causes of divorce. "Money issues" will surely rank near the top.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 107
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/9/2010 9:49:56 AM

it is different story if I hand her a $100.00 for a nice tryst. *wink

That is just insulting.Just because someone makes less then someone else does not make them a prostitute and more prone to accepting money for sex.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 108
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/9/2010 9:58:02 AM
Look up causes of divorce. "Money issues" will surely rank near the top.


top causes for divorce here in Canada anyway, here ya go:

* Lack of commitment to the marriage
* Lack of communication between spouses
* Infidelity
* Abandonment
* Alcohol Addiction
* Substance Abuse
* Physical Abuse
* Sexual Abuse
* Emotional Abuse
* Inability to manage or resolve conflict
* Personality Differences or ‘irreconcilable differences’
* Different expectations about household tasks
* Different expectations about having or rearing children
* Interference from parents or in-laws
* Lack of maturity
* Intellectual Incompatibility
* Sexual Incompatibility
* Insistence of sticking to traditional roles and not allowing room for personal growth
* Falling out of love
* Religious conversion or religious beliefs
* Cultural and lifestyle differences
* Inability to deal with each other’s petty idiosyncrasies
* Mental Instability or Mental Illness
* Criminal behavior and incarceration for crime
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 109
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Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/9/2010 3:02:43 PM
I found the same list that Apollodorus posted above ... as "REASONS SOMETIMES GIVEN FOR DIVORCE" ... of course, in California, we have no fault divorce so we don't even have to GIVE a reason!

but ... according to Alison Bradbury, a specialist in divorce law ... the top FIVE reasons for divorce are:

1. infidelity

2. communication breakdown

3. physical, psychological or emotional abuse

4. financial issues

and ...

5. boredom ...

someone once told me "boredom" should be a valid reason for murder ... some people are just so over the edge ...

incidentally ... almost ANYONE I'd be interested in dating would technically be "unemployed" ... because we're retired ... ergo ... we have no jobs to tie us down ... of course, we also have limited incomes which tie us down! I'm "retired" because, at my age in this crappy economy, no one will hire me ... I never SET OUT to retire this young ... it was sort of forced upon me by the economy ...

so I'm an over-achiever with nothing left to achieve ... an over-doer with nothing to do ... an ambitious, knowledgeable, honest, hard-working, conscientious, well-trained, intelligent, competent ... unemployed, bored person ...

just sayin ...
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 110
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/9/2010 3:25:23 PM

* Lack of commitment to the marriage
* Lack of communication between spouses
* Infidelity
* Abandonment
* Alcohol Addiction
* Substance Abuse
* Physical Abuse
* Sexual Abuse
* Emotional Abuse
* Inability to manage or resolve conflict
* Personality Differences or ‘irreconcilable differences’
* Different expectations about household tasks
* Different expectations about having or rearing children
* Interference from parents or in-laws
* Lack of maturity
* Intellectual Incompatibility
* Sexual Incompatibility
* Insistence of sticking to traditional roles and not allowing room for personal growth
* Falling out of love
* Religious conversion or religious beliefs
* Cultural and lifestyle differences
* Inability to deal with each other’s petty idiosyncrasies
* Mental Instability or Mental Illness
* Criminal behavior and incarceration for crime


A lot of those could be traced to money. Like the lack of committment to marriage could have been a spouse blowing money thus ruining the financial goals of the marriage/couple.

Look, your sentiment that money doesn't matter is cute and all, but the reality is that if two people aren't financially compatible (like a saver married to a spender), the marriage will be tough, to say the least.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 111
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/9/2010 3:32:09 PM
apollodorus , you have a lot snap , crackle but no pop,Nice try shakespeare you know money/finance is up there its like baking a apple pie without apples.
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 112
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/9/2010 5:12:29 PM
Work is slavery - three words for you people to learn.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 113
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/9/2010 5:49:31 PM

A lot of those could be traced to money. Like the lack of commitment to marriage could have been a spouse blowing money thus ruining the financial goals of the marriage/couple.


This thread is not talking about your future spouse maxing all your credit card or spending all your money. This thread is dating someone based on whether they have a job or not. Someone not having a job does not mean they will spend all your money, max out your credit cards ..etc, you guys conjure up a lot of things and are very paranoid.

I am not buying any of the reasons in this thread that are against dating someone who is unemployed, that is just an excuse for the real reason you won't date this person.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 114
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/10/2010 7:59:48 AM
It depends on why they are unemployed, if they were working for a company for many years and because of budget cutbacks your laid off is one thing, but still getting another job should be paramount not looking to improve your dating life is that fair to the other person?

IMO unemployed people should be worried about their finances not dating
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 115
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Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/10/2010 8:11:36 AM

That is just insulting. Just because someone makes less then someone else does not make them a prostitute and more prone to accepting money for sex.


That is not insulting to majority of women who doesn't have 2 pennies to rub on, who aim for a man who makes a $125.000 as her Prince Charming.. Get it????
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 116
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/10/2010 12:46:41 PM

That is not insulting to majority of women who doesn't have 2 pennies to rub on, who aim for a man who makes a $125.000 as her Prince Charming.. Get it????

What you suggested was prostitution not a gold digger marrying a rich guy.Someone throwing 100 bucks on the bed after sex is called prostitution! Get it????

Anyway completely off topic there.Just because someone is technically unemployed does not mean they don't have income.
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 117
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/10/2010 12:52:02 PM
^^^ I think Vanilli was kidding around. At least, I hope I'm right on that one

Still, if you're unemployed and distressed about it, best to correct that before trying to date.


Just because someone is technically unemployed does not mean they don't have income.
True. But if the eventual goal is to find a job, do that first. If unemployed and on disability or retired, that's a different story.
 coastcity
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 118
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/10/2010 2:19:31 PM

I wouldn't aggressively seek out a date ( such as actively looking on a dating site ). But if an attractive man approached me at a bar or a party, I wouldn't turn him down simply because I was unemployed. I would explain my situation and hope that he accepts it.


Agreed. There are plenty of things that 2 people can do on a date that don't cost much money. The quality of the actual date itself is much more important than how much money was spent.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 119
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/10/2010 6:30:43 PM

If unemployed and on disability or retired, that's a different story.


You are contradicting yourself. You say money is important and one the the top causes for divorce. When you are on disability you are still unemployed and have no money. If money was important you wouldn't date someone on disability either, it is not a different story.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 120
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/10/2010 7:09:29 PM
When you are on disability you are still unemployed and have no money.

You still have money.You're just not rolling in it and you have to spend within your means.No woman is going to swoop down from her white horse shower you with money and have sex several times a day every single day regardless of her health.You need to get in touch with reality.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 121
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/10/2010 7:31:03 PM
You still have money.You're just not rolling in it and you have to spend within your means


Exactly, that means if you are on disability and your SO is not and your SO wants to go on a vacation with you that means he/she is going to have to pay for the both of you to go on the vacation otherwise he/she is going to have find alternative things to do with you. If he/she loved you, that would not be a problem and you would not be dumped or considered not dating material over the fact you can't go do those things. It is rather silly and shallow to dump someone over something like that.

Being unemployed not on disability it is the exact same scenario, you both would find ways to work within your means and not just say screw it.
 Dan99993
Joined: 11/29/2010
Msg: 122
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/10/2010 10:38:59 PM
No, it's a good time to find someone, unless you're so busy finding a job that you can't do that.
But if you can set some time aside to do it, you do it.

And I totally disagree with people who say you can't date someone of a different revenue bracket, etc that's bs. If the two can function together, that's all it takes

A 30,000 dollar a year person can totally fit into the life of a 200,000 a year person, as long as they're not too far removed from each other on a personal level.
 Apollodorus
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 123
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/11/2010 7:12:23 AM
^^^^ I totally agree with you and I think some people in this thread are showing there insecurities instead of actual fact. The fact is if you have a good personality and get along together it will work and it won't matter how much each other makes even if one makes nothing.

As I have said multiple times anyone who bases there decision to date you based on your job or lack of job is not basing their decision on who you are as a person and that is not someone you want around.
 S.O.U.L
Joined: 11/23/2009
Msg: 124
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/11/2010 7:32:30 AM
Of course the person who is unemployed thinks it's a great time to date, they are the ones who is getting entertained on someone elses dime. Forget dates and vacations, where are your long term priorties? What are you doing to improve your situation? Are you working a part time job at night while going on interviews during the day or are you sitting back doing nothing?

Sorry but if your not doing anything to improve your own situation I'm not going invest my hard earned money into entertaining you.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 125
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/11/2010 8:06:48 AM

And I totally disagree with people who say you can't date someone of a different revenue bracket, etc that's bs. If the two can function together, that's all it takes


I agree with you totally on this. I had met a girl last year when I as working and making very good money. Right as we decided to become bf/gf I got laid off (early last year). We met for dinner that night right after work. I had told her the situation and was wondering if she was gonna freak out and bounce on me, which I totally did not want- because I had chosen to date her over several others out there I'd been fishing thru at the same time.
She said it was not a problem for her and she was happy to be with me. Said she could help me out where she could. She had JUST began a new job making about 30K/year. I was more than 3 times that. (she did not know how much money I made while working)

At that point I knew she wanted to be with me because of me. I told her that I wouldn't take her money at all, because I had a nice little amount of savings and also had gotten a severance package from the company that I had gotten laid off with.


Of course the person who is unemployed thinks it's a great time to date, they are the ones who is getting entertained on someone elses dime.


When I was laid off last year and anytime I have ever been laid off, I have never taken money from a woman to date her. I have always been one to pay for dates, etc. Now of course we did not need to be going to high dollar steakhouses while I was unemployed, but I almost never go to those anyhow.

She came up with the idea that she and I would eat a lot at her house and she would cook for me (we lived 10 minutes away). When we would go shopping, I would pay for the groceries for our dinners.

we would go out as well from time to time, but we never went crazy going out. We had a great time together and my not working really wasn't a big deal on the relationship at all.

why?
because 2 people wanted to be together, plain and simple.

just because someone is unemployed does not mean that someone has no money and no prospects, etc.

they are not lepers.

some are...

but not everyone who does not have a job is a no good bum.

and even since, due to this market- my job situation has been on and off. I have not had problems with women willing to date me even after they find out I am not working.

why? because they know I am not a bum. not a freeloader. I have respect for myself and they know I am a guy who's just caught up in this bad economy. they KNOW what kind of man that I am, etc.
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