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 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 151
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Dating while unemployed?Page 7 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
"men have never relied on women for anything other than raising children. but we have never had to rely on women for our "livelihood" as women have had to rely on us men.

women still rely on men to provide for them and despite what women say- they do need men. yes yes I know you ladies are progressive and can technically take care of yourselves. "

Does this theory apply equally to women who were raised by their fathers to be independent? Does it apply to women who have always not only worked, but have built companies from the ground up? Does it apply to women who's husband's have lived happily in an equal relationship? Does it apply to women who have no respect for people who choose not to work and be part of society, instead of being a drain on society. Does it apply to women who would be bored senseless with a man who just didn't understand the joy of working for a living, a creating a better world for others?

If I had wanted a man who was decoration rather than a functional human adult, and need to be nutured through their whole, I would have had a son (that I would have been happy to see become a fully functional adult without my support).
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 152
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/12/2010 6:31:21 PM

women still rely on men to provide for them and despite what women say- they do need men. yes yes I know you ladies are progressive and can technically take care of yourselves.

Women that like men to provide for them prefer it. These days women are no longer in a position to have to rely on men to survive. We not only technically can take care of our selves. We realistically do and have now for some time.

that being said, men have never relied on women for anything other than raising children. but we have never had to rely on women for our "livelihood" as women have had to rely on us men.

Good, then men should understand women who don't need to depend on men nowadays either. Just because men feel the need to take care of women doesn't mean they actually have to, or that women are requiring it.

seems the generations and generations and generations of the way things have been has still not been surpassed by the way the cultural norms have fought to change over the past few decades of "equality" women have sought.

somethings are just hard to undo I guess.

Well, they better get easier for you men or there's going to be a lot of walking around aimlessly with confusion on your parts. And there's really no need for that. Now that we can all provide for and take care of ourselves, why don't we do that? We can now choose to date men because we actually like them, rather than because they have a good portfolio. I'd think men would be happy about that.
 hemanmachostudlovegod
Joined: 11/28/2010
Msg: 153
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/12/2010 7:07:43 PM

We can now choose to date men because we actually like them,
When that ever starts, have someone call me.
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 154
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/13/2010 10:06:37 AM
I appluad Boon for having the stones to say what he did.

Despite the many women who are doing just fine on their own, there are still droves of them who expect a man to "step up" and "spoil" them. Just go through some lady's profiles on here and you'll find a few like that. The "real world" is no different.

When it comes to finances, I'm not rich per se. But I do make more than most my age, so finding an "equal" has little to do with dollar amounts. If she can care for herself and not brag about it (caring for one's self is an expectation, not an achievement worth merit), that's good enough for me.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 155
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/13/2010 1:19:54 PM
Despite the many women who are doing just fine on their own, there are still droves of them who expect a man to "step up" and "spoil" them.

So stop dating the droves of entitled idiot air heads.Men complain so much about women liking bad boys,well men love bad girls.They love women who will treat them like garbage,take all their money,take you for granted and throw fits over stupid petty things like a 4 year old, so long as the woman is young and hot.

So if you don't like the type of women you are dating just stop dating that type.You would think that would be simple enough to come up with all on your own.Then again where would you get your fix of drama from if not from the women you date.

Stop sticking your hand in fire and complaining that it is burning you.
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 156
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/13/2010 1:49:08 PM
^^^ I never complained, nor do I date any of them.

I was simply making a statement/observation.

To the suckers I see catering to a woman's every monetary need: Stop enabling!


They love women who will treat them like garbage,take all their money,take you for granted and throw fits over stupid petty things like a 4 year old, so long as the woman is young and hot.

Not me, try again.

Who's the one who's upset here?

 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 157
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/13/2010 4:47:59 PM
I think it is a waste of time to argue over this with women
who have their mind made up as to preferences.

I mean I've had it rough and still dated.
But I was upfront about where I was at so women who PREFERRED different.....
...could date different.
which is best for both of us.

Their preference wasn't a judgement on me.
nor do I think they were shallow for thinking that way.
Afterall, I have my own preferences.

As for why I dated while struggling.....
Well, one......cus I could.
heheh.
And two, I figured a girl who would stick when things were bad,
would be one I'd want to stick with when things were better.

I feel that circumstances, favorable or not, are a useful filter
as to compatibilty for both sides.
Cus if you find compatible, any circumstance is a good one.
:-)
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 158
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/14/2010 11:01:38 AM

Who's the one who's upset here?

You are,as are many other men,which is why I have given you advice on how to not be upset over your choice of women anymore.If you truly don't want drama stay away from it.If you truly want stability make a conscious choice to choose it.

Stay away from the idiot simpering droves and you will do better in the dating world.
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 159
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/14/2010 12:52:03 PM
I plainly said I don't date drama queens or women who expect monetary support from me. I simply was stating an observation from what I've seen OTHER men/women do.

 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 160
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/14/2010 1:28:42 PM

I don't date ... women who expect monetary support from me.


actually bro- you're missing out. I'll gladly date a woman who expects monetary support from me...of course, I let her know that I don't do monetary support. I pay for all the dates and entertainment, etc...but not paying her rent, etc

Its up to her whether she'll continue dating me.

its been known to happen- remember, when a woman wants you...she's gonna be with you. period.

no matter what her m.o. has been in previous relationships she's had.
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 161
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/15/2010 12:03:54 PM

actually bro- you're missing out. I'll gladly date a woman who expects monetary support from me...of course, I let her know that I don't do monetary support. I pay for all the dates and entertainment, etc...but not paying her rent, etc

Right, but we split that stuff, too.
Like, I got a new job recently that starts soon, so she takes me out to a fancy dinner and picked up the tab.
When she got a raise and a new position, we went to Chicago for the weekend, with me paying for the tickets and room (she insisted on the other stuff, nothing I could do when she covertly tells the server to just run her card now and put the amount in later).


its been known to happen- remember, when a woman wants you...she's gonna be with you. period.
Too right, that's a great point. That's why some girls stay with jerk offs and pay for everything and let them treat them like shyt in the process.
 Gashlycrumb_Briny
Joined: 9/26/2010
Msg: 162
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/15/2010 12:46:55 PM

somethings are just hard to undo I guess.


No point in even trying, really.

Status quo, people. Suck it up. If boondock can handle it, so can you.
 tim198228
Joined: 4/13/2011
Msg: 163
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 4/25/2011 2:55:11 AM
The whole thing is rediculous.
If at any time money becomes and issue in an established relationship you need to question if you ever loved or cared about that person.
In starting one, you need to look hard at yourself and see how shallow you really are.
Mony and material wealth should never be the basis for a relationship.

I have money, I cant afford to live on my own or have a car (But there are other issues there with that), but I can pay for my share of the bills.
I wont discuss it anymore than that from now on. It rediculous. The Economy is bad and seriously there are alot of people out there that arent exactly prizes. They need to just accept people that are nice and have good personalities, and be grateful for any affection they do get, and get over their stupid social stigma's.
 valenciacityx
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 164
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 4/28/2011 1:35:49 PM
somebody must be dating the unemployed, I keep hearing, "my man is lazy good for nuthing couch sucubus bum. "

one step away from living in a van down by the river !
 insightredux
Joined: 10/8/2010
Msg: 165
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 6/29/2011 8:19:02 AM
This really blows my mind. It falls under the rule of "what do you do" being asked in the first series of questions. I can appericate a woman or man not wanting to support another or as such. However, when i read theards like this, i realize unconditional love is very hard to find. That person who is so worried about that stuff, typically won't be there in bad times, or when shtf. as they say....
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 166
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 6/29/2011 9:28:47 AM
^^^Not so fast.

It's one thing to be in an established relationship and someone loses a job. It's quite another to be looking to meet/date people while already unemployed.

So while someone may not want to take on a new unemployed prospect, they may also be very supportive of an SO they already have who's going thru a layoff.

That said, if you are actively seeking to date and pair off while unemployed (and not independently wealthy), your priorities are kind of off. Not having anything to do with what you have, either - more about how you could even pay attention to something that trivial while you may not know if you can pay rent. Most normal people aren't themselves during a time like that because things aren't in the usual order so dating for them just wouldn't go very well.

A perfect example of this is recent post #226 - you go through some major changes and emotional questioning during a time like that - so it's pretty textbook to deduce that dating is something to put aside until you sort all that out. Someone who's all smiles and looking to go on dates during a time like this would strike me as someone who's not taking things seriously enough.
 triplek
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 167
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 6/30/2011 10:55:56 PM
Don't want to be Nasty or mean.Woman want security,it does not matter how good looking, how well qualified , how educated, or how good of a person we are? the bottom line to them is " Dollar ".Our Worth to them is our earning power to them so they can go for shopping.

I am glad that you have taking the right decision not to date while unemployed.They just vanish when they heard that we are unemployed and gahther like a bees when we are full of dows, drive nice car, live in nice house and wear nice clothes.Woman are in general selfish and treat tham accordingly.
 MsSookieStackhouse
Joined: 4/26/2011
Msg: 168
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 7/1/2011 4:43:16 AM
I didn't read all 10 pages of this thread, but I wanted to add my .2 cents...

4 or 5 years ago I would have said "No friggin way!" but in this economy, with so many educated, qualified people unemployed or underemployed I suppose if I met someone who was awesome and who I liked a bunch I'd for sure give him a shot. As long as he wasn't lazy and was actively seeking employment.
 GREATEXPERT300
Joined: 6/28/2011
Msg: 169
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 7/1/2011 8:36:24 AM
it's called having high self esteem. i never put my self worth into how much money i had or how great my job was. whenever i lost a good job i found another one within days, at the latest..weeks.
 Smylznsunshine
Joined: 6/23/2011
Msg: 170
True honesty now
Posted: 7/1/2011 10:39:30 AM
I have given guys the chance and the benefit of the doubt while unemployed and found they are intimidated by a successful woman who has her stuff together and well employed. They wanted to continue dating but the way it made them feel made me uncomfortable. I think regardless of who you are it is soo important to have your life in order before bringing someone else in.
 lyfenlyn
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 171
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 7/1/2011 1:45:00 PM
yeah thats stuff couples do, not people who have just started dating
 lyfenlyn
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 172
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 7/1/2011 1:50:41 PM
thats what i say too. i mean if you are unemployed you get an unemployment check. you live some kind of way. then you can still date. you dont have to have expensive dates; modest ones.

also it does make a difference if he is out looking for work actively or just playing video games in his PJs all day and waiting for the checks to run out then wants to hit you up for cash constantly. its a personality thing too. not just a money thing. if a man has no car, no job, no cash and then just expects you to come over and watch tv and be happy with that. thats nuts.
 ocean_park
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 173
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 7/2/2011 8:58:08 AM
It's not a dealbreaker. Provided that he is still able to support himself. Even if he had a modest lifestyle.
 cookies1972
Joined: 2/28/2011
Msg: 174
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 7/3/2011 3:57:42 PM
i actually dated someone who was unemployeed and honestly i think it depends on how the person is handling it. the individual i was dating was not handling it well and it had been over a year of being unemployed and his benefits ran out. i would say what ended it was how i was treated while he was unemployed that ended the relationship. it may have been a guy/pride thing with him but i stood by him until he started treating me bad. he got a job a week after we broke up but i wouldn't have gone back out with due to how he handled the stress.
 MsMuscleChick
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 175
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 7/3/2011 4:10:31 PM
If someone gets laid off or fired, that is beyond their control. If they are actively looking for work and not just *saying* they are, that is one thing. But people who sit on their ass, collect unemployment and claim there are * no jobs* are full of shit. There is work out there, it just might not be their dream job.

This is not about unconditional love as to the one poster who said it # 227 ( get real ). It is about remaining stable and doing something about a current situation. I know people who collect and are out dating buying food, alcohol and smokes on my tax dollars so yes, it somewhat pisses me off. And if shit hits the fan, some of us have supported men for years so lets NOT go there.

There is a fine line between being on unemployment and living on it and not doing a damn thing.

For me, I just would not feel right being out on the Government's dime. I am not saying to stop living, but get your life in order first. Now if you have been with someone a long time or are married, this situation can be handled differently. But I will not start a new relationship with someone sitting on their rear, not looking for work and whining.
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