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Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 157
Dating while unemployed?Page 9 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
I think it is a waste of time to argue over this with women
who have their mind made up as to preferences.

I mean I've had it rough and still dated.
But I was upfront about where I was at so women who PREFERRED different.....
...could date different.
which is best for both of us.

Their preference wasn't a judgement on me.
nor do I think they were shallow for thinking that way.
Afterall, I have my own preferences.

As for why I dated while struggling.....
Well, one......cus I could.
And two, I figured a girl who would stick when things were bad,
would be one I'd want to stick with when things were better.

I feel that circumstances, favorable or not, are a useful filter
as to compatibilty for both sides.
Cus if you find compatible, any circumstance is a good one.
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 158
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/14/2010 11:01:38 AM

Who's the one who's upset here?

You are,as are many other men,which is why I have given you advice on how to not be upset over your choice of women anymore.If you truly don't want drama stay away from it.If you truly want stability make a conscious choice to choose it.

Stay away from the idiot simpering droves and you will do better in the dating world.
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 159
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/14/2010 12:52:03 PM
I plainly said I don't date drama queens or women who expect monetary support from me. I simply was stating an observation from what I've seen OTHER men/women do.

Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 160
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/14/2010 1:28:42 PM

I don't date ... women who expect monetary support from me.

actually bro- you're missing out. I'll gladly date a woman who expects monetary support from me...of course, I let her know that I don't do monetary support. I pay for all the dates and entertainment, etc...but not paying her rent, etc

Its up to her whether she'll continue dating me.

its been known to happen- remember, when a woman wants you...she's gonna be with you. period.

no matter what her m.o. has been in previous relationships she's had.
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 161
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/15/2010 12:03:54 PM

actually bro- you're missing out. I'll gladly date a woman who expects monetary support from me...of course, I let her know that I don't do monetary support. I pay for all the dates and entertainment, etc...but not paying her rent, etc

Right, but we split that stuff, too.
Like, I got a new job recently that starts soon, so she takes me out to a fancy dinner and picked up the tab.
When she got a raise and a new position, we went to Chicago for the weekend, with me paying for the tickets and room (she insisted on the other stuff, nothing I could do when she covertly tells the server to just run her card now and put the amount in later).

its been known to happen- remember, when a woman wants you...she's gonna be with you. period.
Too right, that's a great point. That's why some girls stay with jerk offs and pay for everything and let them treat them like shyt in the process.
Joined: 9/26/2010
Msg: 162
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 12/15/2010 12:46:55 PM

somethings are just hard to undo I guess.

No point in even trying, really.

Status quo, people. Suck it up. If boondock can handle it, so can you.
Joined: 4/13/2011
Msg: 163
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 4/25/2011 2:55:11 AM
The whole thing is rediculous.
If at any time money becomes and issue in an established relationship you need to question if you ever loved or cared about that person.
In starting one, you need to look hard at yourself and see how shallow you really are.
Mony and material wealth should never be the basis for a relationship.

I have money, I cant afford to live on my own or have a car (But there are other issues there with that), but I can pay for my share of the bills.
I wont discuss it anymore than that from now on. It rediculous. The Economy is bad and seriously there are alot of people out there that arent exactly prizes. They need to just accept people that are nice and have good personalities, and be grateful for any affection they do get, and get over their stupid social stigma's.
Joined: 3/10/2009
Msg: 164
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 4/28/2011 1:35:49 PM
somebody must be dating the unemployed, I keep hearing, "my man is lazy good for nuthing couch sucubus bum. "

one step away from living in a van down by the river !
Joined: 10/8/2010
Msg: 165
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 6/29/2011 8:19:02 AM
This really blows my mind. It falls under the rule of "what do you do" being asked in the first series of questions. I can appericate a woman or man not wanting to support another or as such. However, when i read theards like this, i realize unconditional love is very hard to find. That person who is so worried about that stuff, typically won't be there in bad times, or when shtf. as they say....
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 166
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 6/29/2011 9:28:47 AM
^^^Not so fast.

It's one thing to be in an established relationship and someone loses a job. It's quite another to be looking to meet/date people while already unemployed.

So while someone may not want to take on a new unemployed prospect, they may also be very supportive of an SO they already have who's going thru a layoff.

That said, if you are actively seeking to date and pair off while unemployed (and not independently wealthy), your priorities are kind of off. Not having anything to do with what you have, either - more about how you could even pay attention to something that trivial while you may not know if you can pay rent. Most normal people aren't themselves during a time like that because things aren't in the usual order so dating for them just wouldn't go very well.

A perfect example of this is recent post #226 - you go through some major changes and emotional questioning during a time like that - so it's pretty textbook to deduce that dating is something to put aside until you sort all that out. Someone who's all smiles and looking to go on dates during a time like this would strike me as someone who's not taking things seriously enough.
Joined: 1/27/2007
Msg: 167
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 6/30/2011 10:55:56 PM
Don't want to be Nasty or mean.Woman want security,it does not matter how good looking, how well qualified , how educated, or how good of a person we are? the bottom line to them is " Dollar ".Our Worth to them is our earning power to them so they can go for shopping.

I am glad that you have taking the right decision not to date while unemployed.They just vanish when they heard that we are unemployed and gahther like a bees when we are full of dows, drive nice car, live in nice house and wear nice clothes.Woman are in general selfish and treat tham accordingly.
Joined: 4/26/2011
Msg: 168
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 7/1/2011 4:43:16 AM
I didn't read all 10 pages of this thread, but I wanted to add my .2 cents...

4 or 5 years ago I would have said "No friggin way!" but in this economy, with so many educated, qualified people unemployed or underemployed I suppose if I met someone who was awesome and who I liked a bunch I'd for sure give him a shot. As long as he wasn't lazy and was actively seeking employment.
Joined: 6/28/2011
Msg: 169
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 7/1/2011 8:36:24 AM
it's called having high self esteem. i never put my self worth into how much money i had or how great my job was. whenever i lost a good job i found another one within days, at the latest..weeks.
Joined: 6/23/2011
Msg: 170
True honesty now
Posted: 7/1/2011 10:39:30 AM
I have given guys the chance and the benefit of the doubt while unemployed and found they are intimidated by a successful woman who has her stuff together and well employed. They wanted to continue dating but the way it made them feel made me uncomfortable. I think regardless of who you are it is soo important to have your life in order before bringing someone else in.
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 171
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 7/1/2011 1:45:00 PM
yeah thats stuff couples do, not people who have just started dating
Joined: 5/17/2011
Msg: 172
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 7/1/2011 1:50:41 PM
thats what i say too. i mean if you are unemployed you get an unemployment check. you live some kind of way. then you can still date. you dont have to have expensive dates; modest ones.

also it does make a difference if he is out looking for work actively or just playing video games in his PJs all day and waiting for the checks to run out then wants to hit you up for cash constantly. its a personality thing too. not just a money thing. if a man has no car, no job, no cash and then just expects you to come over and watch tv and be happy with that. thats nuts.
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 173
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 7/2/2011 8:58:08 AM
It's not a dealbreaker. Provided that he is still able to support himself. Even if he had a modest lifestyle.
Joined: 2/28/2011
Msg: 174
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 7/3/2011 3:57:42 PM
i actually dated someone who was unemployeed and honestly i think it depends on how the person is handling it. the individual i was dating was not handling it well and it had been over a year of being unemployed and his benefits ran out. i would say what ended it was how i was treated while he was unemployed that ended the relationship. it may have been a guy/pride thing with him but i stood by him until he started treating me bad. he got a job a week after we broke up but i wouldn't have gone back out with due to how he handled the stress.
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 175
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 7/3/2011 4:10:31 PM
If someone gets laid off or fired, that is beyond their control. If they are actively looking for work and not just *saying* they are, that is one thing. But people who sit on their ass, collect unemployment and claim there are * no jobs* are full of shit. There is work out there, it just might not be their dream job.

This is not about unconditional love as to the one poster who said it # 227 ( get real ). It is about remaining stable and doing something about a current situation. I know people who collect and are out dating buying food, alcohol and smokes on my tax dollars so yes, it somewhat pisses me off. And if shit hits the fan, some of us have supported men for years so lets NOT go there.

There is a fine line between being on unemployment and living on it and not doing a damn thing.

For me, I just would not feel right being out on the Government's dime. I am not saying to stop living, but get your life in order first. Now if you have been with someone a long time or are married, this situation can be handled differently. But I will not start a new relationship with someone sitting on their rear, not looking for work and whining.
 Tica Red
Joined: 9/1/2008
Msg: 176
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 7/3/2011 5:02:46 PM
Well, I as a woman, didn't feel I was ready to date if I didn't have all my ducks in a row. If I wasn't financially stable, my mind will be elsewhere called "worry". I was unemployed for 8 months until a temp. agency called me in doing side jobs here and there (didn't like it but what choice did I have?). Now, have been with this outstanding company with the best health care insurance that not even the Big 3 have. The last thing on my mind when I searching for work was a date. Today, because of my determination, my house is paid for and I have no debt and now, I can afford to date someone of my choosing. My mind is free and clear and when your mind is free and clear, you can be a better partner who believed in herself. I know the feeling of not having a job for so long. Now, because of what you have endured, you will make some wise decisions that will net you in the end. Congrats.
Joined: 4/25/2009
Msg: 177
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 7/4/2011 3:51:45 AM
My thing is, the relationship has to be equal. I have a car, my partner should too. I have a place to live, my partner should too, I have a job, my partner should too. It has nothing to do with discrimination, it's about equality. Most woman see an unemployed man as someone they will have to support. I don't know about most folks, but I sure wouldn't be in a financial position to support a whole other person and although I'm willing to pay for some dates, I'm not going to pay for all of them.
Joined: 4/25/2009
Msg: 178
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 7/4/2011 3:54:42 AM
This says it best. Don't knock people who don't want to start a relationship with an unemployed person.
It's one thing to be in an established relationship and someone loses a job. It's quite another to be looking to meet/date people while already unemployed.
We're not bad people here and there won't be any unconditional love with someone you just met in any situation.
Joined: 8/8/2011
Msg: 179
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 8/16/2011 9:14:19 AM
Yes. I know exactly how you feel, because I was unemployed for nearly two months, this past year. I had to put dating on hold, not so much that I'd be looked at as "lazy", but because I don't like charity dates, i.e. "Oh, don't worry about it. You're unemployed. I'll take care of the check this time; I know how it is, you need to get on your feet". That's all fine and good, but how long would a potential date be patient, having to treat an unemployed individual to every single outing? Dating was the last thing on my mind.
Joined: 8/12/2011
Msg: 180
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 8/16/2011 12:50:50 PM
I am the opposite. I put off dating when I was employed because I was always too busy! Once the company I had worked at for 7 years laid me off, I had time to pursue dating for the first time in a long time, and I am. I also enrolled in college to finish my degree, and I still have plenty of time left each week to apply for jobs. I do understand the self-confidence statement. It shook mine as well, but I decided to take advantage of the free time anyway. So far, it has worked out pretty well.
Joined: 6/9/2010
Msg: 181
view profile
Dating while unemployed?
Posted: 8/18/2011 12:23:05 AM
To start, I'll say that I think money's great. Money provides a proportional amount of freedom. That being said, I find it really sad and telling about society's priorities when people won't consider a partner because that person is in the middle of financial hardship. Imagine your dream partner, somebody with all the personality, looks and qualities you want in a man or woman. Now imagine that person without a job. Would you really reject them based off of that?

Not having a job and not wanting to work are different and not WANTING to work is very indicative of a person's motivation and drive, which is an inherent quality of their personality and a completely justifiable reason for rejecting a person. Not HAVING a job is really just a matter of circumstance and gives no indication about the type of person they are. Why they don't have a job is more important.

I graduated from college in 2008 with thousands in debt and couldn't find a job for the life of me. After about 6 months, I ended up working part time as a cashier for minimum wage taking the bus 1.5 hours each way to and from work. Definitely putting my two bachelor's degrees to good use. Finally after a year, I got a much better career oriented position and I'm making more than double what I used to make. I have a car and once I'm done paying off my student loan I'll move into my own place.

Money has never equated to a good time for me. Milkshakes on a park bench while talking for hours are some of the best memories I have with my ex. It didn't work out, but money wasn't the issue. When you're unemployed you should definitely make it a priority to find a job but to throw out dating completely doesn't seem fair to yourself and if anything might just kill your confidence even further.
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