Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Florida  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 aprincelyfrog
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 167
why are men so rude to women, judging them by looksPage 10 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

It IS about that thing we call "chemistry" that none of us seem to have the formula for.
I have determined that Chemistry is a subconcious attraction to someone based on a finite but unknown set of signals. Depending on where we are in our emotional evolution this "chemistry" can lead us to attract the same bad apples over and over again OR draw us to worthy partners.

Disappointment and heartache come when our signal receptors tell us there is chemistry with someone and when we get to know them we find they are NOT who or what we thought they were...

That's my theory.
 aprincelyfrog
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 169
why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 2/16/2009 11:25:03 AM
If that were true Hallie, then explain why you can have chemistry with someone you are not the least bit attracted to.
 aprincelyfrog
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 171
why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 2/16/2009 1:21:36 PM
the YOU was not YOU specifically and people constantly experience chemistry without physical attraction, they may be less prone to act upon that chemistry but that does not deny the chemistry.

Granted, physical attraction may cause you to look closer but chemistry can indeed occur without attraction.

I dont think we are talking about someone growing on you, when there is chemistry they dont have to grow on you... it just exists.
 tcennoc
Joined: 8/13/2008
Msg: 174
why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 2/16/2009 6:24:24 PM
Well Demi Moore,Cher and Madonna have helped women out somewhat with regards to dating a younger man....but.......we still have a long way to go!!!Just as not all women are equal .......neither are men.Many men age quicker than their counter part....and it is a fact that we[women] live longer[about 8-10 yrs] and therefore can deal with an age difference as well.Not all older women have flabby butts ,bad attitudes and a mutitude of issues........many are active ,energetic and take care of themselves...perhaps you just haven't met them ,but we are out there and some of us are visiting Florida presently and thought it would be fun to answer you back.
Take care:
CC
 aprincelyfrog
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 175
why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 2/17/2009 1:37:17 PM

how they feel their way through life
Life is like riding a lion; You can either hang on for dear life knowing eventually the lion is gonna toss you off and eat you OR you can tame the lion and ride it to your destination gracefully.
 aprincelyfrog
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 178
why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 2/17/2009 2:29:41 PM

Froggy, I'll let you be the one to take the first ride on the lion and you tame it.
I have been trying to tame the lion for the better part of 50 years. Just when I think I have it tamed it tries to bite me... but as each day passes I believe I have more and more tamed so hopefully, I will get that graceful ride in the end.

If not, I'm gonna kill that damn lion and eat him!
 justnancy
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 184
why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 3/1/2009 12:03:29 PM
Your right Cajun, but I'm confused I didn't think Cajun wrote to delete the thread , just making an observation. I just took it as when you answer someone you may want to check if they are still a member? Heck I wasn't even a POF member when this thread started but I found it interesting non the less.

I had to respond because I like putting in my .oo1 cents worth in.


We may be attracted to how someone thinks or communicates but not physical chemistry at all.


So true this is why making friends is easy but finding a mate is more difficult. Most of us want the chemistry and the communication. What good is love affair when you don't want a little hanky panky to go along with the great conversation. I do believe that chemistry can grow on a person, and person doesn't need to be "picture perfect" for chemistry to happen. I have sometimes found a man "hot" and my girlfriends will think I'm nuts. It's in the eyes of the beholder. Chemistry is one of those great mysteries


Sometimes we find someone really hot and then as soon as they open their mouths it's over!


Don't you hate it when that happens!!!!
 justnancy
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 186
why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 3/1/2009 12:08:11 PM
Thats the way I understood it!!
 justnancy
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 189
why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 3/1/2009 12:20:06 PM
now, now you two don't get all testy here. Cajun you are right, and I was able to read it right.

The thread was asking about judging people by their looks. Maybe we should get back on topic.
 justnancy
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 190
why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 3/1/2009 12:24:31 PM
heartfoxy Cajun was just letting you know you posted to a person nlolonger here. Not that your opion about the post was wrong.
 justnancy
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 192
why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 3/1/2009 12:36:12 PM
LMAO

Post 215 looked good to me, I'm blond and understood it.

Love ya Cajun but like I wrote: It's not happening!

Have you checked your mail yet??
 justnancy
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 194
why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 3/1/2009 7:21:23 PM
Keep checking. Just asking ? message 218 ,2nd paragraph, 3rd sentence: "I'm pointing out something that even Nancy can see" LOL. Hmmmmmm and you want an invite.

Oh message 214,
Just so you know: I actually posted something that contibuted to what was being said on the last few post, about the topic


We may be attracted to how someone thinks or communicates but not physical chemistry at all.


So true this is why making friends is easy but finding a mate is more difficult. Most of us want the chemistry and the communication. What good is love affair when you don't want a little hanky panky to go along with the great conversation. I do believe that chemistry can grow on a person, and person doesn't need to be "picture perfect" for chemistry to happen. I have sometimes found a man "hot" and my girlfriends will think I'm nuts. It's in the eyes of the beholder. Chemistry is one of those great mysteries


Sometimes we find someone really hot and then as soon as they open their mouths it's over!


Don't you hate it when that happens!!!!
 _ApprenticeSoulMate
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 196
view profile
History
why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 3/2/2009 6:05:03 AM

Picture a world where we are all blind until one year after finding our true soul mate.

I think when some of us saw who showed up for a first meeting compared to the picture posted, we wish we were blind.
 SRQleslie
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 197
why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 3/2/2009 6:30:29 AM
Until we as a people can find love without looking so much on the outside, and look a little closer at what is on he inside and what beautiful people we all are in our own way, then collectively, we are all truly in darkness.


Aww,,,,,,,,,,BOB..................did you wake up this morning and fall on your 'twirly' cap and get 'CRANKY'?????? (BTW................another great NEW picture)!!

to Randy: WELL - I for one was PLEASED to read the above post! I KNOW you guys have made MANY references to being deceived by the pictures that were posted! THUS far (and I DID say thus far *grin*) it has NOT happened to me.

IS it REALLY as 'epedimic' as some of the posts I read would lead me to believe?

I had a 'fish date' the other night, and I confess when he first saw me and said:

"YOU ought to get some NEW pictures"................my heart kind of 'lurched'!!!

Fortunately he followed it up with: "Because your pictures do NOT do you justice'!!

THAT was a 'close one'!!!! DO I necessarily believe him??? NAH!! BUT who doesn't like a compliment?? I am definitely susceptible to FLATTERY!!

 Green Eyes In Florida
Joined: 12/17/2007
Msg: 199
view profile
History
why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 3/2/2009 7:47:25 AM
Picture a world where we are all blind until one year after finding our true soul mate. Would we not have found true love while searching only with our hearts and not our eyes? Would we not have found happiness with our minds and not what others that can see perceive to be happiness? Until we as a people can find love without looking so much on the outside, and look a little closer at what is on he inside and what beautiful people we all are in our own way, then collectively, we are all truly in darkness.


RandysKarma: I think that what you said was so beautifully and poetically put.
Kudos to you!!!! You are a very insightful man.

~~Beth~~
 Bruce325
Joined: 12/27/2006
Msg: 203
view profile
History
why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 3/31/2009 9:47:54 AM
Judging someone by looks alone is shallow and juvenile. But I can understand how people mislead others by inserting 5-10 year old pictures of themselves, so when you actually meet there is a discrepancy in looks.
If you are old enough to remember what dating was before the internet, if you were considered non-dateable or a psycho, you probably had to go over a couple of towns just to find a date, but now with the birth of the Internet, The Gates of Hell have been sprung open once again. Where every woman is a playmate and every guy GQ, which we all know is not true. The two biggest lies told on any dating site are Age and Weight.
Age being, some women unlike some men are eternally the same age year after year. And when it comes to weight, Average can be deceiving. If we go according to what government standards used to be is for a woman five foot tall they should weigh 100 pounds and five pounds for every inch over five foot, and for the men 106 pounds for five foot and six pounds for every inch over that. I blame the medical community for extending that weight barrier to where it is currently. Probably due to the obesity problem in America the standards have been raised to where what used to be fifty pounds overweight is now average. I wish that a better way of describing ones weight could be derived.
Like they say “Beauty is in the eye of the Beholder” and nothing you can say or do will deter from that.
 bitahunni
Joined: 6/16/2008
Msg: 204
why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 3/31/2009 12:52:44 PM

udging someone by looks alone is shallow and juvenile. But I can understand how people mislead others by inserting 5-10 year old pictures of themselves, so when you actually meet there is a discrepancy in looks.


My pics are a few months old. So I'm going to be posting some newer pics soon.


The two biggest lies told on any dating site are Age and Weight.


My weight according to old government standards is average.

Try height when it comes to men. I never knew that 6' was so many different measurements.
 danosan
Joined: 12/24/2008
Msg: 206
why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 4/25/2009 6:14:56 AM
You women have to realize that your fellow sisters are the one's who have
made these men this way!! They can be one ugly s.o.b. yet if they have money
and a nice home the'll have a barbie doll on there arm, and it's starts as soon
as young women start dating the guy with he nice clothes and hot car always
gets the hottest girl!! Now i'm not bashing you ladys but it's the way your wired
and it comes from generations of women( I.E. the best hunter, gatherer,strongest)
So these men even if it seems infintile when they come into there own and even
moderatly whealthy our even middle income believe they deserve the barbie doll
And speaking from my own past if they only knew that the perfect face and body
come's with a very heavy price!! Now i don't condone the way some men act i
do understand it!! Hope you lady's don't flame me to hard for my opinion
Seeyaa!! Dan
 spot4username
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 208
why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 4/27/2009 5:00:30 AM
I have been thinking about this question for a while. I am going to take the gender generalization out of it, and since I am afterall a woman and answer for myself.

I don't know that judge is the correct term. I don't judge a person. I evaluate. I am not finding fault with the man I am looking at in terms of his appearance per say in as much as I am finding he wouldn't match up with me as an individual. We like what we like. Period. This is life. It applies in so many areas.

Five people interview for a job. Nothing is wrong with any of them. They all have wonderful credentials, are dressed appropriately, seem hard-working, etc. The person doing the interviewing is still going to pick the person they feel is best for the job. Different interviewers may pick different applicants.

Same with men and women. We are going to pick who we feel is best for us. The man that I have no interest in may be first on my friend's list. I know that I am visual. So what? Why would I waste the time of a man that I am not attracted to? I don't want someone wasting my time if they are not interested in me. I have never come across someone who was rude in regards to appearance. I am sure it happens. My question is - why would a person want anything to do with a person who was rude for such a reason in the first place? That person certainly doesn't seem like someone I would want to interact with.
 friendshipand
Joined: 4/9/2009
Msg: 209
view profile
History
why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 5/7/2009 8:18:18 AM
I have to say that this is the most accurate and well thought out answer I have seen on any forum in a long time. It was not bias or derogatory to either gender in any way. It was just an accurate statement of the facts. Everyone has different tastes and we cannot change that. I love Chocolate, but my ex-wife hated it. You can't change that, it just is what it is.

As for attraction and evaluation; I always say it is the outer beauty that grabs the attention, but it is a person's inner beauty that will capture the heart.

One more fact to keep in mind; most men and some women are very visually stimulated. So looks are as important as personality. Again, it is what it is, we are all different. That's why we are here, chat, make a new friend, and maybe even find that person that captures our heart.

Best of luck to all of the fish in this giant pond
 randomguyinaz
Joined: 3/12/2009
Msg: 211
why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 9/1/2009 8:45:20 PM
After reading the original post in this thread. I can say I agree and I sympathize but it isn't just guys that are rude. There are some women that can be viciously rude. I think it illustrates a larger problem with society in general these days. Rudeness has become tolerated in our society.
 _ApprenticeSoulMate
Joined: 3/7/2007
Msg: 215
view profile
History
why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 9/4/2009 12:51:20 PM
The bigger question is this: Why do people always have to internalize an external statement?

Wow, I never looked at it that way. Ya mean that oatmeal raisin cookies may dislike ME as much as I dislike them.
Oh, crap! Clean up on aisle 4!!!
 justnancy
Joined: 7/22/2008
Msg: 216
why are men so rude to women, judging them by looks
Posted: 9/6/2009 5:25:51 PM
Wow, I never looked at it that way. Ya mean that oatmeal raisin cookies may dislike ME as much as I dislike them.
Oh, crap!


Well crap!!!....I HOPE the Biscotti cookies love me as much as I love them, I mean after the time and love I put into eating them!!!!.... ooooopppss Am I internalizing an external statement on the wrong thread?

On a more serious note, I agree Easy.
Show ALL Forums  > Florida  >