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 JustCallMeMike
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 364
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over 30 and still living at homePage 5 of 28    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28)

well most women who live at home I would say are not into responsibility and independence, if youre living at home because of convienance YOURE A LOSER

I dont think men or women should live at home with their parents unless they are taking care of the parents.


This was your quote on Posted: 2/1/2007 at 10:02:31 AM. This does not look like a distinction of who is who. And again, I guess everyone in the world has to call anyone one else a loser based on their like or dislikes. Instead of trying to education, too many moronic, self-righteous, self-important people think the have the right to judge the position of another. Instead of taking the blessings they have had in life and trying to help someone out, the are quick to put down, make fun of, or brush to the side another who does not fit it there little world. You know what is funny. Those who are so quick to dismiss people. Most never will know what it is like because they will never see how quickly and easily they have been dismissed.

For those of you who understand that it does not matter your circumstance, EVERYONE has the right to love and to be loved. I hope you never lose that knowledge and understanding like the others of this world. And no matter who confronts you, do what is right, for the only thing we have to take with us to the grave, is the honor, love, and actions we have given in this life.

For those who can hear and who see to grow, know this...Love is not about if someone is doing something right or wrong. If they live at home or not. If they are moochers or not, because in truth, many more of them still find someone to love them and grow. Not because someone downed them, but because someone was willing to reach out to love them. If you are as loving as you say you are, then stop your judgements and elitist atitude, if someone is doing wrong, educate them. If someone is down, lift them up. Do onto others as you would want someone to do for you if you were in that same situation.
 Tequila Sunrise1
Joined: 9/23/2005
Msg: 387
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/16/2007 8:44:18 PM
GET A LIFE, that's what i think..(who wants to date a guy with his folks in the background..tiptoe up the stairs, making sure the bed doesn't rock too much (LOL) or the music is too loud.. (spare me momma's boys)..i don't give a shit if you are divorced or money is tight..it's time to break away from the nest and that includes living upstairs /downstairs/across the street or in the basement LMAO..spread your wings and fly in the real world..i can't imagine living with my parents at this age (oh god!!!!) Parents need to give him a good kick in the ass
 pete707
Joined: 10/16/2006
Msg: 392
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History
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/20/2007 11:14:06 AM
Honest,some people on here thinks that people who live with their folks for whatever reason are worse than child molesters and xpbmx people who are 18 and living with their folks are losers are they??? I guess there was a reason why you left home at an early age??
 GuitarGuy_
Joined: 3/15/2007
Msg: 404
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/5/2007 7:59:12 PM
I was fortunate enought that I was able to buy another house after splitting from my ex. Some guys who may have been taken through the ringer may not be so lucky. Then again a family across from my ex's parents had 3 boys living at home that were in their 40's not married.


Its time to move from the basement boys.
 CrystallineSunshine
Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 416
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/26/2007 10:22:41 PM
"Congratulations mecheng, that you know what it means, that and $4.00 will get you a Latte at Starbucks, I'm so glad you know the meaning of hypocritical, I'm sure your mom is proud of you, My mom would be."

$4.00 ??? You can get something at a Starbucks for $4.00 ????? What?? Water?? A napkin?? Oh wait... I get it... his "knowledge" plus $4.00.

So... that adds up to... ??



 CrystallineSunshine
Joined: 11/3/2006
Msg: 419
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 4/27/2007 11:45:26 AM
There seems to be a lot of people on this site judging others, and yet they are here because they have FAILED in real life to find love. Somehow they think they can give out all kinds of worldly advice to others, eventhough they are failures themselves! Now talk about hypocritical...





Right on.

And THAT, plus $6.00, will get you something at Starbucks.


 write_guy
Joined: 6/19/2006
Msg: 430
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over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/19/2007 7:15:07 PM
It seems kind of weak that people define themselves as better for not "living at home" or dismiss and lump together everyone who does do it nomater the reason. I had to move in to my grandparents to help my grandmother out because grandpa got Alzheimer’s and she has gotten bad arthritis. The rest of the family would not step up to help out so I had to. I work full time, pay full rent and still help her out. I don't think that makes me a deadbeat but im not too concerned what people think.

Its just sad that people think there is only one scenario in the universe to encompass everything. Having said that. If someone puts on there profile "not looking for someone living at home" im not even going to reply to them and explain my sitch. Not worth it.

My situation is temporary until he goes into a home. I could lie about it but why bother. Just thought that there should be another side to that "living at home" argument. Someone else mentioned that it is indeed also a cultural issue as well and seems more frowned upon in the west. Not sure what that says.
 drkprincess
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 442
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 5/28/2007 5:46:24 PM
CWLiberal, what kind of shit is that? if a man lives at home after the age of 30 because, 1) credit cards bills and debt are too much, saving for a downpayment, doesnt want to live alone, wants his mama to take care of him, or cant find a higher paying job, of course hes a loser,

We aint talking about some guy coming home to help out his Mama,Nana or aging relative, im sure were talking about the lazy ass types.
 EdmIT
Joined: 2/14/2008
Msg: 458
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 2/18/2008 12:17:20 PM
Well, the issue is finances, really. Very few people at age 30 can afford to actually buy a place, so everyone has to rent. I'm not sure if you have seen the rent prices lately or the vast lack of properties in which to rent - but at any rate, renting is basically throwing your money away - so living at home until you have enough money to at the very least put a downpayment on a place is a better option. Sure, it feels great for your ego to move out away from your parents but personally, I’d rather get a bit of a head start in building a solid financial foundation. But hey, if you’re single, never married, and in your 30's and live at home, I think there is nothing wrong with that at all as long as contributions to your livelihood are being made. As a sociologist (by degree), I know it has been researched by the government that over 50% of Canadians aged 20-30 are still living at mommy and daddy’s...so I don't think it's really an issue I'd get worked up about.
 jamus75
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 465
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over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/2/2008 3:15:00 PM
I'm 32 and moved back home about two years ago because of a divorce one year ago and also because I got sick. I am disabled now and am living at home purely for financial reasons plus I am attending university. My goal is to be out in at least one year. We'll see if that happens. This has nothing to do with my intellectual or emotional maturity. I still have a life and am involved and active. I don't just sit back and "enjoy the ride." I'm actually embarassed to be living at home. None of my friends from college, the first time around, have lived or currently live with their parents after moving out and being on their own for such a lengthy period of time. I am finally getting my life back together, for it was a very serious illness and a messy divorce. I don't think I need to grow up and I definitely don't need people telling me that I'm lazy because my parents can afford to help me out right now. People should lighten up and just accept people for who they are and what they're going through.
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 476
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over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 8/18/2008 2:42:17 PM
Most of the founding fathers of the United States lived with their parents, kids and relatives. George Washington's sister never moved out of his house.
They achieved a LOT and were mature people.

It's only this silly cultural bias today that seems to put a negative light to living with parents. It's about pride, ego and selfishness.

Of course, to those whose parents were mean to them, I can understand why they would want to leave as soon as possible and can't fathom why they should take in this person who has made their lives a living hell.

But aside from that, if they raised you for 18 years, the least you can do is have them live with you for 18 years for free. Fair is fair.
Golden rule and all that.
 LChin1978
Joined: 6/27/2007
Msg: 482
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 8/29/2008 10:19:42 PM
I moved in with my mother a little over 3 years ago when my (now ex) husband failed to come home for 6 weeks. At the time I had no job, no money, a two year old and I was 3 months pregnant.
I don't quite feel like an "adultecent" since I contribute to the bills, pay for my car, insurance, cell phone, gas, stuff the kids need (no child support unfortunatly). I do the cooking and the cleaning since I work part time and my mom works full time (I think that makes me the wife lol).

Fortunatly she owns a 4 bedroom home (thanks to my dads crappy lawyer)
and with our schedules, we really don't see much of each other.

It is nice to know there is another caring adult in the house if my kids are working my last nerve. It means I can run to the store and unfrazzle for 10 minutes and leave them home, or go take my own "time out" in my bedroom. It means when my sister in law was assaulted and in the hospital, I was able to say there three days straight until she died. And when my father in law went into a diabetic coma last wednesday and my mother in law called me, hysterical, I could drop what I was doing and go to the hospital.

Why would I want to live on my own? just for the sake of beng able to say I live on my own in a crappy apartment and have to have food stamps to make ends meet? No thanks. I'd rather live in a beautiful home with a fenced in acre, swing set and hot tub with a parent who loves me and my kids :)
 SamuraiPixie
Joined: 9/12/2008
Msg: 488
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/15/2008 10:25:04 AM
I think given today's socioeconomic climate the rebound family syndrome or living in an extended family situation, is common, so long as it's not an issue of boomerang children living off of their parents, then really, this sort of thing can only be judged on a case by case situation...

Suz.
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 497
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over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/17/2008 10:43:15 PM
Yep. Agreed! Leeches and bums who sponge off Daddy and Mommy are no good -- be they 18 or 48. There's this whole subculture now of 20+ and 30+ people out there who live off their parent's money, playing video games and having pajama parties like they were 12 or something.
Man, I often wonder what will happen to those people when the money stops or the parents die.

As long as the person has a job and contributes a good chunk of money and labor to the welfare of the house, it doesn't matter to me if they live with their parents or not.

And yeah, when the leech tells us they're mowing the lawn once a month and taking out the garbage... that's not enough, they're still moochers. If that's all they're going to contribute to the running of that household, they better think again.

 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 504
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/25/2008 8:37:23 AM
I do not care how much money anyone makes. What I do care about is that someone has the mantality, responsibility and the ability to live alone and pay their own bills. Yes, the economy sucks. Then what it means is sometimes you may have to cut back on something to afford another thing. If I as a single woman can find a job, get scholarships, go to College full time and pay rent in an apartment, why can't you? As far as dating goes, if I am in a relationship with someone, I would like to have them come over or me go see them, without mommy and daddy watching us. If I want to have sex on the kitchen table at 3 in the afternoon with my boyfriend on his lunch break, it would be nice to do so (And no, I am not kidding.) Not say "gee babe, we can't. My mom and dad are in the other room watching tv." You want good family values? Make you own family, but stop living off and with yours. And I will not be the one in the relationship with the apartment/home, bills and let you come over to see me to get away from mommy and daddy either. Works both ways until we live together. Not to mention, it really shows me you can handle stress and the reality of having your own place.Time to get of the sugar teat guys....:)
 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 512
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 10/26/2008 5:51:07 AM
QUOTE 526 by STEVE2600
So, I guess if a man or woman doesnt make quite enough money to live on their own, depsite them working a full time job(or two) they just dont deserve anyone's love right? Lets just throw them out of society and let them be outcasts. Doesnt matter if they are hard workers, have good values and are of good character and treat people nice?

Yep Stevo, that is it. Is it really my job personally, to feel sorry for you or take a man like you in my home because you do not make enough money to pay bills? Why would I want to have a family with a man who depends on mommy and daddy to feed him and provide his shelter? Deserving love is a childish way to word "love." One does not "deserve" love. Love is something that occurs between a couple naturally. Even some of your so called out of country women dont want mama watching you throw her legs up over your shoulder either . Get a grip. Grow up and get your own place. Bottom line. GET A JOB AND PAY YOUR OWN WAY. People with this living with mama and daddy mantality and blaming the econmy on their inability to find work or support themselves are a set up for failure in this day and age.Grow up. Also, men I have met that do live off mama and daddy seen to have real trouble making very important life decisions. Sad I tell you. The funniest part of this whole thing is how we are all so "judgemental." Well, ask your mommy and daddy how to make judgements on how to live in life. Start learning what we do as adults in life. We make judgements daily about what is good for us. From heatlh, employment, family and culture. If you are a social outcast, that is YOUR problem. Maybe that is why you can not support yourself. A lot of careers, even "jobs" at 7.50 an hour require a lot of social skills. I do not care how book smart you are, if you can not function socially, you will never make it. And yes Stevie, sex is important. If I went by your rules (lmfao) go get a place to have it? A hotel would cost more money than renting an apartment for the kind of sex life I want. As for you? Grow up. You want a sexless life, and don't worry about your parents seeing you if you get any? Or, like you said go to the other persons home? My point exactly Get your OWN home. I am thinking Stevie does not get out much in life.
 Darxman
Joined: 4/8/2008
Msg: 523
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/5/2008 8:08:58 PM
Would you rather be with an abnoxious, judgemental jack ass of a person who has their own place, or someone much nicer and more compatible who currently may not be living up to their potential, but with the right person in their life or the right encouragement, may flourish and be a spectacular person.

Actually you should be living up to your true potential and working on being a spectacular person for yourself instead of waiting for the right person t to come around.
 Harmonica
Joined: 12/19/2007
Msg: 528
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over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/10/2008 9:34:21 AM

Id love to hear what you guys think about ppl over 30 still at home..


An economic necessity for many, I am afraid! How else can many get a mortgage that is ten times their annual income, or more?

John
London
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 537
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/14/2008 3:46:52 PM
What to say about this... Well, personally I couldn't care less where somebody's living. I don't stick my nose into other people's business. I don't live in the U.S. but I believe that the mentality over there is completely different and kids are expected to move out after a certain age whether they can afford it or not. That's stupidity. Here in Europe it's slightly different and especially in the southern parts. In Italy for example it's not weird, sick or silly to be living with your parents until you get married. The same goes for other countries as well, e.g. Spain, Greece, etc. Family ties over there are very important. Not to mention Japan and South America.

As for living with your parents and dating, well, I guess it can be a pain in the neck having to explain yourself all the time why you're still living under the same roof as your parents. But again, it depends on many things. Like I said, if you're in Italy it might be perfectly Ok, but if you're in the U.S. it's considered by many to be immature or whatever. I think that it's better to be ready for the change, move out and have your own place rather working your butt off just to pay the rent. A lot of people can't even handle money and they're in debt up to their ears. Others, even though they're living in their own apartment, are STILL financially dependent on their parents. I personally know one woman who's more or less in that situation. She's a student and has her own apartment. The rent is just crazy and several times she's asked her mother for help.

The bottom line is, go out there are date your butts off no matter if you're living in a castle or in your parents bedroom.

Gl.
 mathmaticious
Joined: 6/20/2008
Msg: 538
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/15/2008 12:03:12 AM
"People used to live with their parents for their entire lives... were they all 'immature'?
Just because something is currently the cultural norm doesn't really tell you much about an individual circumstance... take each person as they come to you.

And no... I don't live with my parents... "

Yup. This is very common in MANY cultures, just not the predominant protestant north-american one. :D

Hell, you "white people" go to dinner and SPLIT THE BILL. I've seen married couples do this, and it cracks me up!!! If you treat your spouse that way, then yeah, I guess you would send your parents to a special home, instead of fulfilling your responsibility to care for them as they mature. Oh wait, no - that's too much of an INCONVENIENCE. I forgot the mantra, ME ME ME..
 misterdj1160
Joined: 10/4/2007
Msg: 544
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History
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/18/2008 5:40:14 AM
Well to me, it's obvious you helped caused him to live with Mom and Dad so why blame him? I had to move back home with Mom and I hate it and I'm 36. This wasn't and isn't my choice. It's because I can't afford a place of my own right now. My ex divorced me and left me holding the bag because I had cancer. So, it's my fault that I am living with Mom? Also, my Mom is widowed. Me being here does help her in some aspect.

I have to depend on my mother on some things because of this bad economy. I do have a job. Had it for 10 years. But, it's slow and hours have been cut. So, I haven't been able to take care of all the debts I have been stuck with in order for me to survive on my own and make ends meet.

I wouldn't consider him a lazy, no good husband, nor do I consider him a "loser". You got him to where he's at. It's because of you.
 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 550
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/19/2008 1:31:35 PM
Since I was 19, I was able to somehow support myself. So, the same rule applies now. If I can work one or 2 jobs (have worked 2 before) go to College full time and support myself ANYONE can. I want a relationship with a man who I can have over, or go see without mommy and daddy and everyone else there to monitor it. Meaning, if I want you to do me on the kitchen table at 3 in the afternoon it would be really nice too do that. Grow up, get a damn job, and get your OWN place. It is not a matter of making fun of anyone, it shows who is responsible and can hack it or not. What happens when mommy and daddy are not alive any more to bail people out? What happens if we are together and have rough times financially...just going to up and leave and go back to mommy and daddy???? NOT.It is one thing to accept HELP, it is another to become co dependent. No, I will not ever date anyone living like this.
 ImAHotMess
Joined: 7/11/2008
Msg: 552
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/19/2008 4:45:57 PM
KC that is my point. And you can always tell the whiners here who live with and off mommy and daddy. Always some tragic excuse. Some of it really makes me ill. Even in sickness or job loss, people STILL learn how to support themselves. It really makes me wonder how they expect to have a normal life if they can not make it on their own. I met someone who does exactly this ~ lives at home. Mind you he lied about it, and he is history, but good God...support yourself. lol. Most of the time it is lazy people, very rarely have I heard anyone with a good reason. Once on here I heard a man tell me he was really helping his mother out, and I believe him, but still...to have any type of relationship, I just can not see me "going there" with a man.
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 554
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 11/21/2008 7:04:39 PM
I think that it all comes down to one question - why? If someone's living with his parents it doesn't matter if he's 25, 35 or older. The question is simply why he (or she) hasn't moved out. There are cases, especially now during the financial crisis, when people get fired left to right and have get rid of their car, house or whatever. When "disaster" strikes you obviously have to live somewhere and quite often, at least temporarily, you move back home. Now, that's ONE scenario which I believe is more acceptable for even the most narrow-minded person.

There are many scenarios obviously. I don't know about any such myself but it's probably safe to assume that there are people who once moved out, moved back and got "stuck". In other words, when your world collapses you build a new one and that's when it can be hard to get out. Who knows, and that's the most important point here. Unless you know about the details it's foolish to judge someone.

I personally know one guy who's over 30 and he's still living with his parents. As far as I know he's never had his own place and I don't think that he's even held a job for more than a few months at a time. Other than that he's an intelligent person, well read and good-looking. But he has those two things going against him whenever he's dating women. It is kind of sad that he's wasting his time. But over the years that we've been friends I've understood that people aren't "synchronized" like clocks. We're expected to have accomplished certain things, goals, in life at this or that age. Women start to feel pressured about not having kids or a relationship with somebody around 30, too. The society puts pressure on everybody, not only the guy, or girl, who's yet to find his place in this world. So maybe we should all live and let live and drop the prejudices.
 shelly.d
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 555
over 30 and still living at home
Posted: 3/27/2009 10:51:03 PM
"I've lived on my own, and I do have a concept of what the real world costs. I have a good job, I pay the bills and buy food. I don't sponge off my parents like some people who live at home do.

You say unrealisitic princess, maybe your right BUT you don't know me or the whole story so don't be so quick to judge me."
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
***I agree - luvmonkey;you definately had me with you on some of your truly contemplative/sensitive/thoughtful/ insightful answers. Impressed a couple of times. For sure. Kudos.

But ah yeah, this one answer of yours didn't go down the best at all. I do see what you are saying about "woulda couldas", I DO.
BUT - the "interesting to see how defensive people get...maybe there is an underlying fear" etc- did sound... a little condescending, which hmm..not so cool.

Very generalized and a little nasty sounding really. Which in my opinion is actually more proof of why people
(maybe in particular the ones who have a valid/legit reason to be there, health/medical whatever) get defensive and or angry so quickly because they know of the social stigma here and are probably just sick of getting automatically lumped in with the "spongers/freeloaders" as well,etc., not to mention also likely sick of feeling they have to constantly defend their position and explain themselves to others, only to still get negative flack and be made to feel below everybody else who is out "on their own"?
We don't know everybody's story, so I agree we should not be SO quick to judge.

Just a thought.
Take Care everybody,
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