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 sunshinejust4u
Joined: 1/3/2005
Msg: 6
single mothers has ex's still ruining their livesPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
hey there? i'm pretty much going trough the same... my baby's dad is a retard .... we were together for 4 yrs and he was controling so i got out of it ..... the same day i broke up with him he had another gf..... he had her in my house with my kid here ..... and they were doing things in front of my 2 yr old son....... now hes living with her ... its only been a month in a half since we split and he doesn't bother with his kid.... only when its convinient for himself ... he doesn't support him or nothing ...... so yeah u got to love dead beat dad's .... but i live day by day enjoying my kid ... hes the one missing out .... think of it that way ... and when my kid is old enough ... he will know that i'm not the one that kept his dad away his dad didn't want anyhting to do with him ...... so hope everything goes good for u all ... and remember be strong for ur kids... eventually u'll find a good guy out there .....
 Seeing_Stars
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 12
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single mothers has ex's still ruining their lives
Posted: 4/24/2006 11:39:56 PM
You should take him to small claims court. He has no right to throw away anything belonging to you or your children. Unfortunately, the sentimental things can't be replaced or have a price put on them but definately sue him for the furniture, clothes, and blankets that he threw out.
 Seeing_Stars
Joined: 3/11/2006
Msg: 13
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single mothers has ex's still ruining their lives
Posted: 4/24/2006 11:46:01 PM

does ne one know how to go about small claims court or how to get an attorney for a cheap price..? if so let me know.


Not sure about the US but here in Canada, you go down to the small claims court and file a civil claim which could be served in person or through registered mail. Then you go back and file an Affidivid of Service just to let the courts know the party had been served and then he can respond to it. If he could care less and doesn't show up in court, you get default judgement and maybe even some punitive damages. I wouldn't bother hiring a lawyer unless your losses total over $5000.
 I1269r
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 14
single mothers has ex's still ruining their lives
Posted: 4/25/2006 4:22:27 AM
I guess that's what they mean by baggage. Gotta let it all go. Don't waste your energy and precious time that you could be spending on the kids and building a new life without the loser. Put your efforts where they are needed best - to the rebuilding of your future and self-esteem. It will interfere with meeting a new guy because it is the focus of your energy and energy creates an aura. You don't want to walk around with a negative one.

Being a man you would think that we would be the abusers but in rare instances it is the opposite. This same scenerio has happened to me, except I saw it coming and got the photos, the boot, and the shaft, lol

I let it all go and it feels great! I joke about it now. Gotta get over the hurt. When someone gets or keeps you mad you are still under their thumb, they can manipulate you.

Hope that helps a bit. Good luck.
 I1269r
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 20
single mothers has ex's still ruining their lives
Posted: 4/28/2006 4:43:40 AM
April dear, you must get out of this situation.
Your sanity is at stake, perhaps your life.
There are agencies at your avail seek and you shall find
This man is manipulating and confusing you - you must be able to have a place of safety and comfort from fear.
Be strong. Find that inner strength, it's within.
 onesexybunny
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 21
single mothers has ex's still ruining their lives
Posted: 4/28/2006 12:53:32 PM
Okay i know this is going to sound mean but i am going to be honest .....your 22 years old..you have your whole life ahead of you. why waste your time taking him to court for what 3 thousand dollars is that going to replace the memeries no its not....being angry about this is understandable but for how much longer are you going to let him controll you.your not even with him any more and you are still consumed by him...let it go move on it will be hard but be the better person....make things happen for your self.....you will be so much more prouder of yourself if you did...but you will never get over him if you don't let him go ... in every sense ....eveytime you talk to him he has you eveytime hes sees your upset he knows hes won ......
 I1269r
Joined: 4/18/2006
Msg: 23
single mothers has ex's still ruining their lives
Posted: 5/3/2006 2:08:12 PM
Hi, me again...

I went through all the same things pretty near except she ended up with it all and threw it all out and man this women was nasty but I took time to heal and let it all go. I lived with nothing for the longest while. When you have nothing and can live without it all then you are able to see these material things as they are - a road block to building a better future.

If you have the time, patience, money (lawyers, time off work, time away from the kid/s) then by all means if it means that much to make this guy pay. My point is, however, when you let it all go and focus on what you have right now, and look at the future that you have to put all your prospective efforts into then you'll be on the right track.

Build new memories.... that's what I did, had to do perhaps. I found someone new in my life and moved on... too bad things didn't work out there because being a single parent is as tough on me as it is on you ladies. So that's what I say, just find someone and try again. Someone that treats you the way you treat them.

I think, however, in order for you to find someone you have to let go of the animosity that you feel because it's going to show itself in a new relationship which is what you may need, someone with warm arms, a good heart and nothing but good feelings about things, to share good things with, to help you let go of that pain and make new memories, better memories. Time heals all but the heart. You need love for that.

There's this new mattress pounding therapy where you beat on it as if it were him, just to get your frustrations out.. maybe, or well, I'm babbling....

Luck
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