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Show ALL Forums  > Single Parents  > Child Support: How To Obtain If Whereabouts Unknown?      Home login  
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 castlehillsmile
Joined: 11/4/2015
Msg: 27
Child Support: How To Obtain If Whereabouts Unknown?Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
I wonder if the comments in this thread would be different if men gave birth and women could provide the egg and then leave.

e.g: Seahorses and Bowerbirds.

Works well for them.
Once the fertilised egg is produced the males take over completely and the females go and do lunch and play tennis.
 revoskeepnus
Joined: 8/4/2015
Msg: 28
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Child Support: How To Obtain If Whereabouts Unknown?
Posted: 11/9/2015 4:20:59 PM
from my experience... no. They just file, tell you to wait, and never do anything...

I turned in the family's addresses and know he's been in and out of jail....

hard to take a cut from a drug dealer's salary.

still thankful for my son... but ya know, his 'dad' is a loser...
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 29
Child Support: How To Obtain If Whereabouts Unknown?
Posted: 11/9/2015 6:05:44 PM
How pathetic…yes, commit suicide to get out of financially supporting your child.

Wouldn’t surprise me, some men are gutless cowards. I know of men who told their ex-wives if they pursue child support they’ll just quit their jobs so there is nothing from them to support their children. Pathetic.

I have no doubt sea horses and bowerbirds are better fathers to their offspring than many useless human “fathers.”
 revoskeepnus
Joined: 8/4/2015
Msg: 30
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Child Support: How To Obtain If Whereabouts Unknown?
Posted: 11/9/2015 6:29:14 PM
child support can't replace a father. my dad was gone all the time, sent home plenty of money to mom...

didn't really bother me being a single parent til i slipped, tripped, and got knocked up again. Two kids are more expensive than one, who knew???!!!
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 31
Child Support: How To Obtain If Whereabouts Unknown?
Posted: 11/9/2015 7:08:20 PM
SunshineGirl- Yeah, it happens^^^
My sisters ex not only told her exactly that, but when she threatened him with jail, he told her to go ahead, that all that meant to him was free food and shelter.
Men that refuse to pay child support are often just butt hurt babies that insist it goes to their ex.
If a woman is ordered child support, it does go to their back account, that's true, but most of us DO spend it on our children.
Some people are just too selfish to see who benefits from child support, it's the children.
Unless both parties agree to shared custody, somebody HAS to have the children the majority of the time, so it is just REALITY that the person who has them most of the time incurs more cost in their care.
I will say, I don't much care for the OPS reasons, she shouldn't be trying to find him just to punish him.
It isn't always easy to find a dead beat parent (and they come in BOTH genders).
The process can be time consuming and still lead to nothing.
She can't force this man to be a part of the child's life.
If he's in the wind, punishing him won't make things any better for the child.
If she were asking JUST because she wanted him to support the child, I could/would give her suggestions.
But I'm not going there when she SAYS she just wants to see him NOT be able to get a license or work.
That's rather self defeating, if she TRULY has the child's best interest at heart.
 VMinRVA95
Joined: 9/13/2014
Msg: 32
Child Support: How To Obtain If Whereabouts Unknown?
Posted: 11/9/2015 10:54:44 PM
So it is your son's dad that is the loser. Any more losers might be in your son's close proximity?

My eX is a drug addict, but like most womyn in Western society it is actually cool to be intoxicated and addicted provided it is licensed drug companies and quicky doctors and unregulated therapists making the cut. So dont feel left out on the matter. Tomato - toMato
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 33
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Child Support: How To Obtain If Whereabouts Unknown?
Posted: 11/10/2015 8:29:02 AM
My Ex moved a few times, changed jobs yearly and the state could never catch up with him. The kids lost out in the end, he missed major milestones in their lives because he could not get his shit together and he always put his needs ahead of everyone else's.
Now that he's passed away I see how even a small amount of contact in the kid's life meant everything. Dads need to be in children's lives. I wish he was still here for them.
 revoskeepnus
Joined: 8/4/2015
Msg: 34
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Child Support: How To Obtain If Whereabouts Unknown?
Posted: 11/11/2015 8:39:38 AM
my son's dad was an artist... talented on the guitar and can build computers/cars from the ground up... but couldn't read too well and has been selling drugs since 14.

I am grateful for the genes he passed onto my son... and I'll leave it at that.

but, yeah... as far as 'choosing a responsible man' I didn't do that. Fortunately, I"m a fairly responsible woman and have made up for it as best as I can. Second child... well... can't imagine life without him, so boom. I'll call it a good mistake as well.

Either way, I'm quite certain neither will be apart of my son's life and being without a father is far more damaging than poverty.
Someday I'll have me a good job, good man, etc.. and life will be fine. But, as of right now.. an extra 160 a month would be a huge freaking blessing... but like I said, they don't bother with collecting unless it's a large amount of money owed and I didn't get DNA done so he doesn't owe anything.
 VMinRVA95
Joined: 9/13/2014
Msg: 35
Child Support: How To Obtain If Whereabouts Unknown?
Posted: 11/11/2015 9:04:03 AM
"my son's dad was an artist... talented on the guitar and can build computers/cars from the ground up... but couldn't read too well .."

Have your son checked for Dyslexia seeing how his father had it. Actually, no need to go to a doctor even. The traits are pretty tell-tale - you can look them up easy enough. There are tricks to reading. Once these reading tricks are mastered the boy (do girls ever get Dyslexia? If they did I guess we would be Racing to Cure that to!) will flourish with his superior reasoning, spatial acuity, and mastery of the arts. Its funny. We Dyslexics can identify each other almost immediately through our speech or writing.

Oh, because you have a son... Work for his future and ours. WE NEED to take down Feminism and the Divorce Industry. You don't want your son either be perpetually alone, or on the run from the law because of non-payment of child support plunder, or become one of the many Men who join the Brotherhood of Suicide. Parenthood is sacred and thus is this task at hand.
 TrvstInKarma
Joined: 9/1/2015
Msg: 36
Child Support: How To Obtain If Whereabouts Unknown?
Posted: 11/12/2015 10:49:16 PM
My ex threatened to quit his job and leave for TX before divorce papers had been filed. He also had a girlfriend at that time, and I guess he flipped out because things with her didn't work out. He told me that he would leave me and the kids without health insurance and money, and told me to quit school and get a job fast. I was frantic and went to a lawyer the next day and filed for divorce. He tried numerous times to get out of paying the amount of child support he was ordered, but in the end he always has paid. He makes very good money and I had him stop paying alimony as soon as I got a job, even thought the judge told me that after 20 years of marriage, he could have been ordered to pay me for many, many years. So now all he has to pay is child support, $1200 a month for two kids. My son is 15 and a bottomless pit when it comes to eating, so that money is gone fast. I also have to buy clothing, shoes, school supplies, with it. My daughter just turned 8 and she needs new clothes every quarter because she grows so much. I have zero help and no family around, so I have to pay for before school care for her as well. So yeah, paying child support and hardly ever seeing your kids like my ex is an easy way out.
 MentalGiant58
Joined: 11/6/2015
Msg: 37
Child Support: How To Obtain If Whereabouts Unknown?
Posted: 11/13/2015 3:15:59 PM
^^^
Sorry to hear that.

My 'child support/alimony' days are over, but never the days of supporting my sons.

I never missed a payment and never felt money was a substitute for being a parent.

For me, it was NOT an EASY way out.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 38
Child Support: How To Obtain If Whereabouts Unknown?
Posted: 11/15/2015 8:53:51 PM
Mentalgiant58- SO right.^^^
When I brought mine home from the hospital, there wasn't anything on their birth certificate that said when they turn 18, I'm not a parent anymore.
Sure, your relationship with them changes when they are adults, but we never stop being a parent, once we become one.
The greatest investment we make with our children will NEVER be money, it's time.
What we do when they are young lays the foundation for when they grow up.
There is NO such thing as the perfect parent, but people who understand that their well being trumps it ALL, are the most likely to raise happy, productive adults.
Your sons are blessed. :)
 import_from_uk
Joined: 5/12/2015
Msg: 39
Child Support: How To Obtain If Whereabouts Unknown?
Posted: 11/24/2015 4:19:44 PM

I was just wondering if anyone knows how to get the ball rolling on obtaining child support from a deadbeat dad if I don't know where he lives. My problem isn't that I have a court order or maintenance agreement in place and I can't collect. My problem is I can't even serve him because I have no idea where he is! His number is no longer in service and he keeps moving from province to province. He has not seen his son since he was 2 weeks old and he doesn't seem to even care! Originally, I wasn't even going to pursue the issue of child support. However, seeing as he never even calls to see how his son is doing, I'm thinking maybe I should pursue this. All I have is his first and last name (and it's a common one to boot). Am I able to pursue child support based on this alone?


Don't hold your breath or waste your money.

I have a court order. I have his SIN number, driving license number, passport number, DOB, and all the information. Maintenance enforcement can't find him and are limited in what they can do.

Mine is working under the table or thorough his girlfriend's employment agency which means garnishments are worthless. Mine hasn't seen or contacted our oldest since Sept 2009 and our youngest in April 2010.

His access to services are frozen so he can't renew his driving license or register a vehicle. I suspect he's driving without a license or insurance and using his girlfriend's car. He has let his MSI card lapse, so that's no help. He hasn't filed a tax return for years, as we have a federal garnishment in place.

If you ex doesn't want to be found, he won't be.
 pro100pk2
Joined: 11/23/2015
Msg: 40
Child Support: How To Obtain If Whereabouts Unknown?
Posted: 12/16/2015 12:24:27 AM
What I would suggest....write down any possibilities
 pro100pk2
Joined: 11/23/2015
Msg: 41
Child Support: How To Obtain If Whereabouts Unknown?
Posted: 1/12/2016 5:53:32 AM
you need to sue
a court may find it
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