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 ColdHamSandwhich
Joined: 4/20/2006
Msg: 1
farting in publicPage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
I had gotten in the bus and sat down. In front of me was what appeared to be a nice lil ol lady in her mid 70's (give or take a few years) who suddenly flapped a hot mover in my general direction. I responded with one of my own since nobody on the bus didn't seem to mine the ol ladies. As it squeeked out i realized it was gonna be a larger blast than i had planned, and i blew the wig off the guy sitting behind me!
 mycorosso
Joined: 1/11/2005
Msg: 2
farting in public
Posted: 4/21/2006 3:25:01 AM
Do farts have lumps? ...oops
 bulie
Joined: 3/1/2006
Msg: 3
farting in public
Posted: 4/21/2006 2:03:24 PM
are you aware if you fart in church you sit in your own pew
 Miss Loo Sifer
Joined: 7/26/2005
Msg: 4
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farting in public
Posted: 4/22/2006 10:54:24 AM
ha laffed so hard at that I let out a squeaker meself!!!....coff..wheeze...phhhhtttt...squeak!
 johnny1153
Joined: 8/11/2006
Msg: 5
farting in public
Posted: 12/4/2006 7:41:16 PM
do you know the difference in a fart and a fizzle?a fart goes around the turd and a fizzle goes through it......................................nasty......................
 Roverdisc1
Joined: 12/16/2005
Msg: 7
farting in public
Posted: 2/25/2007 1:16:32 AM
My girlfriend (at the time) and I decide to go to a movie matinee. We arrived about 30 minutes early and sat down near the front center of the theater. It was early enough that there were only about a dozen people scattered throughout the theatre. The coming attractions hadn't even started yet and the please be quiet-turn off your cellphones-buy more popcorn-free pizza with your ticket stub crap was playing.

We proceeded to munch on our licorice and milk duds when I felt what I thought was going to be a little squeaker approach the surface. As usual my timing was impeccable......just as I started to release the little bubble, the ad quit playing and left the theater totally silent. As it was too late for containment, I decided to proceed. Knowing now that it will be more than trivial passing, I start laughing and try to hold back my laughter, which of course only aggrevated the situation at hand and unleashes a torrent unlike I've ever experienced.

I turned to see that my girlfriend had vacated her seat for a more strategic location on the floor. And after the echoing finally subsided and there was a brief moment of silence, a guy in the back of the theater gave a couple claps and said "nice rip brother"
 Roverdisc1
Joined: 12/16/2005
Msg: 8
farting in public
Posted: 2/25/2007 1:24:49 AM
I'm at the 60th bday party of a friend and his best friend stands up to give him a toast. Here is the toast.

"I have three pieces of advice for surviving after the age of 60...........Never pass a bathroom without using it..............Never, ever....waste a hardon...............and finally, never, under any circumstances....trust a fart"
 vivienne3
Joined: 4/25/2005
Msg: 9
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farting in public
Posted: 3/17/2007 5:31:15 PM
I was shopping in Sears, looking over the toys. I let out a SBD and had to leave the area because I could breathe. Just then a woman and a small child enter the toy department. The little girl looks up at her mother and says, "Eww Mommy, it smells!" I still chuckle when I think about that.
 Thatguy67
Joined: 9/20/2006
Msg: 10
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farting in public
Posted: 7/14/2007 10:55:08 AM
I know a guy, he's 60 now, but he said when he was 16 he took a girl on a date to the movies. While sitting on vinyl covered seats, he let one rip and he immediately looked at his date in "shock." Of course, everyone looked at his date. Only she knew the truth!

Needless to say, they never went out again.
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