Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 ellece
Joined: 8/19/2005
Msg: 24
How do you stay in love?Page 3 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
My parents...who had an awesome, happy, long term marriage...always told me that they "worked" at it.

The day my Mom told me that "nobody should work as hard in their marriage as I was"....was the day I seriously began to look at getting out of it.

Treat your partner as you treat your best friends....cuz best friends you seem to keep around forever. Do unto others works....don't always put your own needs first....laff together (a lot) and be physical.
 zig02
Joined: 1/1/2006
Msg: 37
view profile
History
How do you stay in love?
Posted: 4/22/2006 12:05:00 AM
Well I think it helps to have been in a few relationships before, so that you realize the worth of the person you are with. And you have to make a commitment that you will stay with this person no matter what. I remember being surprised to read in a magazine that you were supposed to commit to someone even if someone better came along. At the time I thought that's crazy, that if someone better comes along I would naturally switch. But now I'm at the point where I agree that a commitment to someone must be honoured even if someone better comes along.
 jacktraven
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 45
view profile
History
How do you stay in love?
Posted: 4/22/2006 8:30:35 AM
"The key to a woman's heart is an unexpected gift at an unexpected time" (from the film Finding Forrester)

The challenge is to preserve all those small details that built your relationship. Not just in memory, but in practice. Little by little, every day.
 BonnieB
Joined: 10/25/2004
Msg: 47
view profile
History
How do you stay in love?
Posted: 4/24/2006 9:39:46 AM
I think the ease with which we stay "in love" depends upon the priorities that we put into the relationship. For each of us, I'm sure it's rather different.

The happiest long-term couples I've had the privilege to watch seemed sort of follow a pattern..


In the beginning:
Sex & common interests = LOVE

Settling in:
Sex, common interests & communication = LOVE

Long term:
Communication, respect, sex & common interests = LOVE

Long, long term:
Respect, common interests & sex = LOVE
(sex takes a still existant, but more minor role and communication is no longer required.. they already know .. lol)


But then, what do I know? I'm single..

BonnieB
 Not just a member
Joined: 9/14/2005
Msg: 52
How do you stay in love?
Posted: 4/24/2006 4:42:36 PM
Great question and great advice @ melonaide. I also think that with all melonaide said... just add the unexpected picnic or two. The flower petals on the front porch. Dances in the front yard to music only the two of you hear or better yet, sing to each other. The love notes hidden in a coat pocket. Flirt with each other. Don't ever let the monotonous routines in life, turn into just that, nothing more than a routine. It isn't just about keeping love alive, it is also about keeping romance alive. Memories are what help us to extend beyond death. Will the moments we leave people to remember us by, be good or bad? Well, that is up to each of us.
 Not just a member
Joined: 9/14/2005
Msg: 54
How do you stay in love?
Posted: 4/24/2006 5:59:43 PM
^^^^. good one.

Finally, an explanation for why I am still single. I know nothing either.


**Please disregard previous posting....
 captnjimbo
Joined: 2/11/2006
Msg: 57
view profile
History
How do you stay in love?
Posted: 5/6/2006 6:12:35 PM
well dtpb, I can tell what I did, didn't work but I would do it again in a heart beat. I treated her like we were still dating. I did everything I could think of to make her feel special, to let her know she was important to me! The more I tried or did, the angrier she acted. (we were married over 20 years). Found out after she diovorced me that she had been seeing someone else! That hurt! If I were to meet a lady, and if perhaps even marry, I would want to 'date' her. I would want to let her know that she was the most important person in the world to me! (make sure she isn't seeing someone else tho!)
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 60
How do you stay in love?
Posted: 5/7/2006 8:11:32 PM
If it's real and genuine then you both fell or grew into love because both of you were just being yourselves. Letting the other person know you and not putting up any pretenses. Being honest first of all with yourself and then with them.
And that's what you still do. Yes, relationships do take on a life of their own. They require honesty and attention. Day in, day out. Not taking each other or what you have for granted, making what you have a priority.
Because when you do find someone that you can totally love and accept just as they are, and they love and accept you, if you know anything at all, then that's something very special and rare.
You daily realize that it is special and a blessing and express that in actions and words to that special person in your life. Things happen life happens and if you know about life the only consistent thing in life is change. So you don't resist it, you expect it and deal with it and embrace it. And with the right partner, you go through the changes together.
That's how it works, you celebrate your love daily, you are grateful and thankful for the love that you share. Through the good and bad, through the great times and the difficult, they're always there and you're always there.
If you can't love and commit to love someone like that, then just go enjoy your life and your friendships. Because that's what love is and that's the foundation for a lifetime relationship. If that's not what you want, you won't have it, if that's not what you're willing to do then just hang out and have fun. And don't pretend.
Love is not for the timid or the indecisive. Love is a verb, not just a word. If you can't do it, don't try.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 3/2/2005
Msg: 62
How do you stay in love?
Posted: 5/7/2006 8:29:24 PM
damsel That's really it, if you're with the right person, in my experience anyway, it's never work. It's much easier than that, communication, commitment and communication if you have that, it's much easier. Not like a job at all, not like work.
 marshw
Joined: 8/9/2005
Msg: 69
How do you stay in love?
Posted: 5/8/2006 9:11:32 PM
Dude!!! Stick your tongue in her mouth!!!!! Every time you have been absent from each other for any appreciable amount of time, give her a ten-second kiss!
 Ependa
Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 73
How do you stay in love?
Posted: 1/4/2010 9:57:22 PM
Well, assuming you paid proper attention to the preliminaries (you are both well-adjusted and don't need fixing, know what you want, have similar values, attraction,love ,etc)....
I think on one level..you stay true to yourself, give your partner the room to do the same; continue evolving as individuals.
At the same time , you focus on your relationship. What you pay attention to, flourishes.
You keep communication open..and begin it with the end in mind (no, the end is not to 'win' in a conflict...it's to get to the other side of it with some understanding and compassion).
You treat each other with respect and kindness.
Keeping the flame alive? I think you connect every day in some way of course. Physically, sexually. Talk. You have alone time everyday (both yourself and couple alone time--especially important for parents).
You have dates at least once a week (again, especially important for parents).
You get away once a month or every 2 months for a weekend.
You live in grattitude. Everyday.
And you keep the flame alive sexually.... there are so many different approaches--it has to be what works for you. Role play or public sex or simply setting the mood..sneaking away at lunch..whatever it is for you, you keep at that (geez , tough job , right ;-)
I do think you need the foundations first though. A funny thing is though..it's like a vicious cycle. If you don't have that foundation, it degrades your sex life ...and if you don't have a great sex life, it started to crumble the foundation. So you pay attention to both.
 aremeself
Joined: 12/31/2008
Msg: 78
view profile
History
How do you stay in love?
Posted: 1/5/2010 6:37:16 PM
I'm taking a wild stab here, but, I'm guessing most of us are single, so, why are we even paying attention to answers from single people? divorced or whatever.
 aremeself
Joined: 12/31/2008
Msg: 81
view profile
History
How do you stay in love?
Posted: 1/5/2010 10:17:17 PM
I agree 100%, choose it and start living.
 ea®ly
Joined: 11/7/2006
Msg: 82
How do you stay in love?
Posted: 1/6/2010 2:21:34 PM

Always remember love is a verb not a noun.


Actually, ...it's both.


Keep it alive with care and appreciation of your partner. Respect and devotion to what you have between the both of you.


I've grown to think of it this way; a loving and lasting relationship isn't only something that two people "do" to or for each other, it's an entirely separate but shared entity that also needs the same things as each individual does.

If it's going to "last", then things like love have to continue to grow and evolve. "The relationship" is something both have to cherish, nurture and ...want. A connection to it is through communication, not just words but through all the non-verbal expressions of admiration, respect, trust, desire, empathy and all the many and myriad things that contribute to aspects of both the verb and the noun: "love".
 *pisceseyes
Joined: 9/30/2009
Msg: 85
How do you stay in love?
Posted: 1/6/2010 9:56:39 PM
*msg 79 - not to be the cynical one here but i think your message is a bit overrated... and a bit unrealistic.

yes i TRULY LOVED in a prior relationship and that LOVE is no more after various issues, yes it CAN end..

but can "true love" last? i just dont know..sounds a bit idealistic but people say it does happen

as far as being IN LOVE... to me, thats the first stages of neurotransmitters running rampant in the body then it becomes attachment/comfort and there is where the passion or what have you, fade.
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 86
How do you stay in love?
Posted: 1/7/2010 11:06:19 AM
Keep the flame going? Ok, you really aren't talking about love you are talking about sexual attraction.

True love of a spouse, partner etc. will go on as long as you live just as it would for anyone else

Sadly truly loving someone with all of your heart and soul does not mean they will feel the same way about you but if you truly love them, you will always love them.

As to keeping the flame going you need to keep things new, fun and light.
 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 87
view profile
History
How do you stay in love?
Posted: 1/7/2010 12:43:04 PM

"The relationship" is something both have to cherish, nurture and ...want. A connection to it is through communication, not just words but through all the non-verbal expressions of admiration, respect, trust, desire, empathy and all the many and myriad things that contribute to aspects of both the verb and the noun: "love".



Keyword in this statement is BOTH.
 aremeself
Joined: 12/31/2008
Msg: 91
view profile
History
How do you stay in love?
Posted: 2/8/2010 12:08:55 AM
realize that life isn't a fairy tale, no! IT'S REALLY NOT!
do I have to repeat it?

anyway, after you figure that out, just keep putting up with each other.
what's more loving then accepting someone, flaws and all? I didn't say approve.

Hey, do most miss there first love?

I think the ratio works like this:

Half first time marriages fail
two thirds of second marriages fail, and
three quarters of third time marriages fail.
or something like that.

good luck! you will need it!
 gracengracie
Joined: 2/3/2009
Msg: 92
How do you stay in love?
Posted: 2/8/2010 12:45:09 AM
I think always respect each other.
Respect entails lots of the things that people have mentioned here.
If you do that, I guarantee you your love will last for many many years.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 95
view profile
History
How do you stay in love?
Posted: 2/9/2010 5:05:11 AM
mt mom and dad where artists at staying in love
they both came here from hungary
and because my mom was a liberated woman, she went for a career, so did he, they shared the domestic side of living equally , both went to school and worked, they both had different politics, but they respected each others opinions, my dad regarded my mom as a total equal
but he was always a gentleman, and very romantic, we where not rich, but my dad would always buy my mom jewelry , and she was given flowers every week, they made sure to have special alone time,( how they managed that with 33 children school and work)
they had a great relationship, mutual respect, partners,and good old romance
oh and the golden rule was never go to bed angry
 aremeself
Joined: 12/31/2008
Msg: 98
view profile
History
How do you stay in love?
Posted: 2/9/2010 11:31:34 AM
leave the fantasy in the book or at the movie theater.

ever notice how after the girl gets the guy, or guy gets the girl, the movie ends?
WELL, isn't that when the movie should start???? because that is when real life starts!
I guess we don't go to the movies to see real life, do we?
 aremeself
Joined: 12/31/2008
Msg: 101
view profile
History
How do you stay in love?
Posted: 2/9/2010 6:28:20 PM
We, it seems, treat love like it's some vulnerable weak feeling that is going to fly out as soon as you open a window.
Where as true love actually is very patient and strong and puts up with an extreme amount of life.
 citizen_joe
Joined: 12/26/2009
Msg: 102
How do you stay in love?
Posted: 2/9/2010 8:46:02 PM


My question is... Say you are in a relationship and have been for awhile, you are in love and you both know it.How do you stay in love? What do you do to personally keep the flame going?


This one isn´t really complicated.

Never stop learning ways to make the other person smile, laugh, and appreciate you.
If you´re really lucky, the other person will do it too.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  >