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Joined: 3/20/2006
Msg: 13
What do I do???Page 3 of 2    (1, 2)
So what you are gonna die if you dont get your tooth fixed? You have to realize that he has needs to. Maybe a DVD player is something he wants like you want your tooth fixed? he works and supports you and your kids yet he cant go and get a DVD player because you want your tooth fixed right away? Sometimes when you work and work and work and cant have anythig extra, you need that extra just to justify all your hard work. Give him a break. let him have something he can enjoy. Remember you are the one who made it between your tooth and his DVD player, not him. you gave him the choice. Just as easy you could have asked him to start saving for your tooth to get it done as soon as possible or some other comprismise where you dont make it an issue of one or the other. because in truth you can have both just not right away.
Joined: 3/20/2006
Msg: 27
What do I do???
Posted: 4/23/2006 11:16:43 AM
There you guys all go judging me because of what I said? well I will tell you one thing. The same people judging me are judging her bf.. and you guys are wayy off. i have had a gf of over 2 years, we have never once had a fight no screaming or yelling or crying.. we get along great because we comprimise and talk things over instead of defend our emotional reactions.
you guys saying "obvious"? there is nothing obvious in this story at all. we dont know the half of it. so shut the **** up and stop feeding this poor girl all this negative bullshit. Reading ten lines of her story, a snapshot of her relationship with him and deeming him selfish and und worthy of her who you also don't know. Man you guys are shallow.

Oh that is right none of you give a shit about really how to help or, you jsut wanna give your two cents and be supportive yes men as she spirals downward...
Joined: 12/30/2005
Msg: 42
What do I do???
Posted: 4/25/2006 12:46:39 PM
Good lord girl, don't take any pills, try some herbal tea or see your Dr. for something natural that won't hurt the baby. Cry your face off, drink lots of fluids and try to eat something, even if it's only fruit or something easy on your stomach, pudding, yogurt or a light cheese.
Concentrate on looking after your baby and your little girl.
I've been through nonsense like this and I know what your going through, my ex insisted I get pregnant to prove that I loved him and then turned his back on me once I was past the point of no return. He made my life miserable and as soon as someone took interest in me, he wanted me back, pleaded to have his family back. As soon as he was settled back in, the old routine came back, friends always came first, his needs always came first, I was never good enough. To this day he still does the same shit, the second he thinks i might meet someone, he pressures me to take him back. Not this time, the last time nearly destroyed me, we were left homeless and I got to pay back all the debts, I worked 6 days a week before we split up and still am to get debt free. Do yourself a favour and let him go, I know it's going to hurt and it's going to be hard, but better now than later.

To poekerman, you selfish little beast, all I can say is my sympathies to your girlfriend, you come off like a real jerk.
Joined: 12/30/2005
Msg: 45
What do I do???
Posted: 4/25/2006 10:43:49 PM
Listen, he's going to put his needs first, always, save yourself the heartache, get welfare to help you, and they will help you get support from him, set up regular visitation, and if your not comfortable with your daughter going with him, tell welfare, they can make arrangements.
Take time to get yourself together, stay away from him, his needs come first, not you, or he wouldn't have thought twice about getting your tooth fixed.
While your at welfare, ask about councilling too, please take our advice. I've been through this. Don't take him back unless he's willing to go to family councilling and listen to the advice of the councillors, I tried and my ex wouldn't go.
Joined: 7/20/2005
Msg: 46
What do I do???
Posted: 4/25/2006 11:04:29 PM
Sounds alot like he's just not ready to be a stand up guy. First and foremost, you need to do your best not to let things upset you so much. That's a very bad thing to do while pregnant. I know it's not easy to keep a calm demeanor when things around you are stressful, but it's important to do none the less. Were I you I would work towards being independent. If he's not coming home nights, he's sleeping somewhere, and it isn't with you. People who care don't make a point of upsetting you, especially in your condition. Anyone that would put buying a stereo before your pain has no regard for you, that's a fact! Sound like you landed yourself a boy, (and not a real great one at that) when you need a man. A decent, moral, ethical, man always puts his needs behind his children's, and his wife's. That's just the way it should be. When a man chooses to take a wife or father a child, he should understand the purpose of his life has changed. That purpose now is his wife's, and his children's well being and happiness. Any real man will find a gold mine of happiness in them.
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