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 BReal
Joined: 3/15/2004
Msg: 2
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Your kid limit?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Interesting question...

You might call me shallow, but this is reality. When getting involved with someone who has over 2 kids, it can be complicated in my personal opinion.

Since you are talking about getting truely involved, in time you will love their children, you will do things for them and to some extent you will likely be involved financially with them. I'm not saying I would be replacing the responsibilities of their father, but I would likely do things that would be in their best interest since I would care about their future. Of course, you wouldn't ignore the best interests of your children.

Just an opinion. In reality I haven't dated women who have more than two children. This isn't by choice...it's just the way its worked out so far.

In saying all of that...who really knows? What if you meet "The One" and she has 4 children? Who's to say you or I wouldn't want to find out if it's real?

Sorry...no real answer. Some people set these things in stone... If the magic is there I would want to find out before ruling it out.
 gecko84
Joined: 4/19/2006
Msg: 7
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Your kid limit?
Posted: 4/22/2006 10:47:17 PM
well like another young lady wrote further down the page your dating the wrong women. I'm a single mum and yeah its tough and i get little child support or any support for that matter from my sons father,
BUT i work and im currently studying to improve my life to make life better for my son.

there are a select few of us out there that arent looking for a free ride..

just for the record ive stuck my fair share of guys that are just like these women your talking about ..
 gecko84
Joined: 4/19/2006
Msg: 8
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Your kid limit?
Posted: 4/22/2006 10:50:29 PM
there should be more women like us out there.

im also a single mum but unlike u i get a small amouont of child support and a little welfare as im studying.

but i work and everything is fine for me. no need for us to conplain and poor dragonfly needs to look around cause we do exist.
 prolibertate
Joined: 9/11/2005
Msg: 10
Your kid limit?
Posted: 4/24/2006 12:06:24 PM
mafinkc, I can only speak personally, but I don't have a kid limit...they can have one or ten, and my answer would be the same regardless of how many I had. More important to me is how good a parent he is to his kids, his values and morals, how respectfully he treats people (me included). But that's me; others may have their own, valid reasons for wanting someone with no kids, only one or maybe two. In some cases a younger woman might care about the number more, say in a case where if she wanted to have her own and the guy didn't want any more kids. But in my case, I've always wanted a lot of kids, so the more the merrier ;)
 BlueRoze
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 12
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Your kid limit?
Posted: 4/26/2006 9:46:44 PM
I have 3 kids at home (5, 11, and 13)..... I don't want anymore of my own (and can't have anymore either) but i would consider dating someone with kids but under certain circumstances....... I don't think i could hand more than one more under 5 yrs old i could handle more than 1 over 5 up to 3 ...... teenagers i could accept more than 3 but as a combo i would say no more than 4 more ........ I have some disabilities so if the guy has more than one under 5 i'm not sure i would be able to keep up also i'm expecting a granchild very soon and i'm sure i'm going to have to find the energy to enjoy that one too :) but ones over 5 tend to start being a little more independent (getting dressed on thier own, cleaning thier own rooms etc...) so that takes some of the extra stress off and teenagers they "should" be even more independant.
and they need to be able to support thier own kids ..... i read about men worrying about women not being finacially able to support thier kids and thier fear of having to support someone elses children......... the father of my older 2 provides very well for them and my youngest is also provided for well (not quite as well as my older two as my youngest's father is retired and is already paying more than what the courts would have made him pay)

it may sound stupid but..... i did date someone for about 3 weeks who sponged off me constantly ....... no thank you.

even when i met my ex hubby i supported myself and my kids without his help for 10 mths until we got married when my income decreased(i was on a disability pension and because the US exchange at that time was about 1.65/1 canadian he made more than the max for 4 people so i "voluntarily withdrew" from the program). but i still had 1100 dollars to contribute every month. but now that he's left i get about 2300/mth and i'm working on getting my own at-home business started once my 5yr old is in school full time come sept.

the worst feeling i've ever had in my life was to give up some of my financial independence ( i didn't like having to ask for money for necessities etc... or having to explain every little detail of where that money went to even if it was necessary) ....... because i've never had to rely on a guy for money in my life before i got married. with my older 2's father we were apart all but 6mths of our relationship because he couldn't find work here he had to work far away and when he did live with us he was in school so i helped support him before and after my older 2 kids were born.

I am again financially independent and would like to keep that.
 Whitetigeress
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 25
Your kid limit?
Posted: 11/9/2006 3:40:36 PM
As for number of kids? .. who cares.. as long as everyone involved is loved and well taken care of.


^^ That would be my deciding factor in whether or not I want a relationship with someone with more than 1 or 2 kids. Yet, I can't say for sure because I've yet to have a relationship since my boy's father. So, who knows.
All I can say is I am well aware of my "tight bond" with my kids and it will definitely be an eye-opener to see how we all response to the possiblity of an extended family. My oldest did say that he had no probs as long as he was the oldest

and........ im done having kids ((shudders at memory of morning sickness))
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