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 just_the_average_guy
Joined: 10/13/2005
Msg: 76
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women on this site are kidding themselvesPage 4 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)
well you know to one person someone may not be perfect but to another they might be!!!!
 sddude
Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 77
women on this site are kidding themselves
Posted: 7/17/2006 2:51:02 PM
YES , the women on this site and other internet dating services can be picky because they can and can afford to , when the ratio is like 5 to one , women can and should pick what they want , even though a guy like me is never chosen , so many more that are out there that are perfect or desireable for them .

If the ratio of women were like 10 women for each guy , most women would probably not get very much mail , we guys would just wait till the mail pours in , in that guy dreamworld , we would be one of 10 guys in a bar of 100 women .

The reality is the other way around, most bars are filled with guys and a few available women. These sites are full of guys , like a sausage fest , women can choose a tall handsome guy with a sixpack , that is romantic , caring and economically secure , not a shorty guy like me ,

My perfect match has been continuously compromised , now I would settle for a homeless girl living in a dumpster .
 mellie44
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 78
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women on this site are kidding themselves
Posted: 7/18/2006 8:48:06 AM
You know this is kind of funny because I just read several men'e adds that insisted that the only people that they wanted to meet was people with no baggage at all. Let's review what this really means. To have no baggage means that you are 12 years old, have never dated and you are still a virgin. Is this really what you want men - I think not. Lets face it as long as we have had relationships, breakups, sex etc we all have baggage. How we handle that baggage, recycle it, learn from it and forget about it is what counts. I would never say no baggage as this is not realistic. We must remember that we are mature adults and we have to decide what we can accept and what we can't and that only comes with meeting someone and getting to know them. I think that we scare too many people away with this statement. I have had several long term relationships and I think that we all go through a period where we should not date but you get past that and hopefully become a better person because of it.
 shannygirl
Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 79
women on this site are kidding themselves
Posted: 8/25/2006 6:55:17 AM
to razz...
ditto and ditto...
couldn't have said it better myself!
 ~softEDGE~
Joined: 6/12/2005
Msg: 80
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women on this site are kidding themselves
Posted: 8/26/2006 7:28:30 PM
look in the mirror, and don't speak for women, or at least not this one, please!
 xusnlt2
Joined: 7/27/2006
Msg: 81
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women on this site are kidding themselves
Posted: 8/28/2006 2:52:07 PM
No: They aren't kidding themselves. And No: It isn't harder today to find The One. Statistically speaking, there are more people today, so there are more potential Ones out there. The problem, or, at least, the difference today is that people (that's men AND women) are so self-absorbed and shortsighted that they aren't willing to put some work into a relationship.

Furthermore, society no longer places the same negative stigma on divorced people that it once did, so there's less reason for couples to try and work it out. Throw into the mix the fact that the women's liberation movement actually belittled stay-at-home moms and traditional family structures so, now, we have kids raised by nobody, women unhappy and unfulfilled in the workplace, men unhappy at home and sometimes feeling second-rate to a higher paid spouse, record numbers of single parents, increased drug use, decreasing age of sexual activity, and - in your words - a world too busy for compassion and caring.

Of course, you probably took a philosophy course or read some existential text that left you wondering about being and nothingness, when all you really need to do is look for Real people instead of looking for Prince Charming. There may not be a perfect man in the world, but there's a really good chance that there's a man perfect for you. Put down the Cosmo, change the channel from Desperate Housewives, and look at all of the actual people out there in the world. Some of the guys you know as "friends" might be The One if you gave them a chance...
 Huggablehottie
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 82
women on this site are kidding themselves
Posted: 8/30/2006 11:30:21 AM
I agree with you BruceLombardo.

 kesstastic
Joined: 2/16/2006
Msg: 83
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women on this site are kidding themselves
Posted: 11/13/2006 12:27:28 AM
I'm just looking for a man, hopefully not one twice my age, drug dependent, father of a zillion children he never attends to, or mean. But of course...i've been on here for about a year and have barely been contacted. I'm probably just to young to be on here.
 colt8301
Joined: 10/25/2006
Msg: 84
women on this site are kidding themselves
Posted: 12/14/2006 11:33:06 AM
have a beer dude, things are because they are, and you are a older cat you should know this by now. escort services you will probably get the results you want bucko! someone who will be anything you want them to be.
 H2OLuvCoco
Joined: 6/2/2006
Msg: 85
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women on this site are kidding themselves
Posted: 2/27/2007 6:49:15 PM
I can't believe this post didn't get deleted/voted off due to the whining nature of it. PERIOD.

Coco
 NancyC123
Joined: 12/17/2006
Msg: 86
women on this site are kidding themselves
Posted: 2/27/2007 7:57:08 PM
And, men AREN'T looking for "perfect women"?? So, you mean to tell me you're NOT looking for Martha Stewart in the kitchen and Paris Hilton in the bedroom? Gee, what was I thinking...
 daydreamingangel
Joined: 1/31/2006
Msg: 87
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women on this site are kidding themselves
Posted: 3/21/2007 12:20:05 AM
Lord, God...It never ends...No I am not perfect...but neither am I kidding myself...I just refuse to settle for less than what I want in a man...The reason for that is because I am fed up with men that don't have their sh#t together...then they want to get all mean and abusive on the woman they get with because they don't have their sh#t together...after she has worked her a$$ off to help make him what he has become later...I don't think it is asking too much to want a man that has his sh#t together...they expect the same out of women!!
 dpd22
Joined: 11/9/2006
Msg: 88
women on this site are kidding themselves
Posted: 3/21/2007 8:02:01 AM
The bottom line is some men and women can be picky. Some people have a long list of requirements and expect their potential date to be "9" or "10" in terms of looks. I find this to be especially annoying when that person doesn't have some of the things (s)he is looking for or (s)he isn't that great looking him/herself. I personally would date a "5" or a "6" if she was nice and shares some common interests with me. As for "not settling", if you have an certain critieria and you aren't finding anyone, then maybe it's time to adjust the critieria because apparently very few people meet what you are looking for.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 89
women on this site are kidding themselves
Posted: 3/21/2007 8:08:20 AM
I was reading this thread and i saw a post that said the ratio on here is
5 men to 1 woman?
well what i want to know
where are my 5 men hiding??
 Internetdatingpariah
Joined: 10/17/2004
Msg: 90
women on this site are kidding themselves
Posted: 3/21/2007 8:14:56 AM
According to one of the Mods here I seem to recall the ratio being around 1.4 : 1.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 91
women on this site are kidding themselves
Posted: 3/21/2007 8:18:53 AM
well in that case i know who the .4 is
 Internetdatingpariah
Joined: 10/17/2004
Msg: 92
women on this site are kidding themselves
Posted: 3/21/2007 8:58:51 AM
browneyes...do you REALLY want less than half of a man?
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 93
women on this site are kidding themselves
Posted: 3/21/2007 9:28:41 AM
jeepers..i had to wait until other people posted because apparently ive been babbling overmuch! ack!
justhank..i don't want a .4 man...just said i knew where he was!
 intheswim
Joined: 1/8/2007
Msg: 94
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women on this site are kidding themselves
Posted: 3/21/2007 9:37:04 AM
I like to think of my imperfections as giving colour to life, much like those in a diamond give it more colour and reflective value!

That's my story and I'm sticking to it!
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 95
women on this site are kidding themselves
Posted: 3/21/2007 9:48:39 AM
I see profiles on here all the time of men who are older, slightly bald, with a paunch, looking for barbies younger than themselves, hoping she either doesn't want kids or has kids that are on their own. wanting the women to be financially able to take care of themselves but be able to drop everything at the drop of the hat to go on vacations (and share the cost).
they want someone to listen to their sob stories about their ex wife and how she didn't understand them...how she got fat,....how she spent money...how she never wanted to go anywhere or do anything...how she hated sex and made him beg for it.
of course..i could be making this whole thing up
and ive not seen a profile like that at all
 johnny prophet
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 96
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women on this site are kidding themselves
Posted: 3/21/2007 12:45:36 PM

"I think its more the men who are looking for the perfect woman...if you dont look like a runway model they dont want to get to know you..."


Unfortunately, this has been the case with people meeting online since the first chatroom was invented. It goes both ways. The majority of the women will want to meet Brad Pitt whether they look like Roseanne or Angelina. The majority of men will want to meet Angelina whether they look like Brad or Neuman from Seinfeld. And they'll all say "Why won't you look at the beauty INSIDE, jerk!?" when Brad (or Angelina) rejects them.

Women do have it a little BETTER in this, though. It's all about ratios and the male sex-drive.

The ratio of males to females in any online scenario has thus far been 5 or more men (sometimes MANY, MANY more men) than women. Which means that women who would normally get passed over in their "real life" experiences find themselves getting a LOT of attention online. And since this is novel to them, they start spending a LOT more time online. When they do this, their "online self-esteem" goes through the roof and they often start acting the same way they've seen (or imagined) the real-life "barbies" act.

Many of the women who are about to flame this post are in that group.

There are a few "real women" on POF, however. I've seen many of them in the forums and I've managed to find a few profiles that seem genuine, interesting and honest, but they are going to be far outnumbered by the ones who NEED PoF for their self-esteem. (They also all seem to be living in Canada. Gotta move.)

The girls who get lots of obnoxious attention in the real world and are coming here hoping for something different are likely to be disappointed quickly, and return to their "normal" method of meeting men after a few full-email boxes full of dismal spelling, stupid pick-up lines and pictures of****.

Here's a good way I've discovered when you want to know whether someone you're meeting online is worth your time: If they have "I'm not really looking for people, just enjoying the forums" in their profile, they're much more likely to be who they say they are.

(PS - I'm not really looking for people, just enjoying the forums.)
 betterlate
Joined: 12/22/2006
Msg: 97
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women on this site are kidding themselves
Posted: 3/21/2007 11:24:03 PM
I think it may be you that are kidding yourself. You dont have your shit together, you say you lost 250 pounds? BS!!! They removed 95% of your stomach! and probably most of your intestines and of course you are going to lose weight. That is nothing to brag about, if you had lost the weight by working out, eating the right foods or never getting up that high in the first place... (WAIT, I gained a bunch of weight from two neck surergies, steriod injections into my spine @ 20-25 LBS a shot, so I know what I am talking about). I am not being mean, I understand that people are mean to people that are heavy, my own family treats me different after the shots. I lost 60 pounds in three months by resisting the urge (and it is strong with steriods) to eat, and just walk, walk walk walk... and work like a maniac to keep the weight from coming on...

I eat organic, vegetables fruit and walk... I am still just months out from my final shot, I did gain the normal amount, and am working hard to resist... walk etc. I am complaining that people are kidding themselves... what is best for me, is seeing the looks on all of the faces when the steriods are gone and I have my normal body back... then I can brag... Dont look the faults in others... look for your own short comings and work on them, we are all going to get old and die.... we all are going to have good friends in our lives die, screw us around, lie cheat steal... bla bla bla.. so what we are in control of is ourselves. We can work on how to be the best person we can, make what we have wonderful, be thankful for what we do have and stop trying to look like the airbrushed idiots, turn off the tv, go out and walk, read, learn and do things we are interested in. Stop looking for the "one" and just be friendly and nice, and of course smart. I am not saying that going through that major surgery was a breeze or anything, I think that was probably just horrific, painful and it probably took along time to adjust to the new lifestyle... but if I had a choice to stop eating junk, and drink broth, and tiny portions and exercise on my own... I believe that you realized soon after the surgery that they made you change your behavior, and you were able to go along with it... but paid a huge price, risked your life and suffered great pain I am sure, but the inner you, the one suffering so hard that you medicated yourself with food, how are they doing? Have you worked on that person? Are you really ready for a relationship? You sound a bit bitter and appear to blame others... you are correct when you say nobody is perfect, however there are things people can do to better themselves, and soon some people realize that "who you are is not"> what you drive, what clothes you wear, what house you live in ( I wont say own, because most people refinance and will never own their house) or what watch you wear... but who you are is how you treat others, how happy you are with yourself alone, how good you are to others, animals and yourself. Dont let the media fool you into debt, insecurity or a foolish search for barbi or ken... they are both selfish jerks... you wouldnt like them...

I have heard it so many times, just when I stopped looking, bam, I met someone in the least expected place and at an unexpected time... so step back and take a look at yourself and see what you can do to make that person that you will meet see the wonderful person you can become,.... that is all I am going to say about that...

BL
 EC22
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 98
women on this site are kidding themselves
Posted: 7/16/2007 3:41:42 PM
most of the women on this site are looking for the nonexistant perfect man WHY???


I wouldn't say that applies to all or most women, but IMO it does apply to a decent amount of women here. They have a bunch of dealbreakers and requirements that eliminate most men right away. If a man goes out on a date with a woman from some internet dating site, some women will have a fantasy image of him based on a few pics, his profile, and some email/phone conversations. The fantasy image is often too high or unrealistic. If ( and when ) he doesn't match that fantasy image, she will often end relationship right away instead of giving it a chance and some time to grow.
 funlovingman07
Joined: 4/22/2007
Msg: 99
women on this site are kidding themselves
Posted: 7/16/2007 4:06:51 PM
you know you also have to remember even though the ratio is 5 men to 1 woman
there are 5 men to every 1 woman that are eather married and looking to cheat or there takin and looking to cheat so it evens things out
 Suze01
Joined: 8/2/2006
Msg: 100
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women on this site are kidding themselves
Posted: 7/16/2007 4:22:07 PM
I totally agree with you.

Why do people have to call children, ex wifes, debts etc etc etc (I could go on) baggage? I certainly don't see my son as baggage he is just a part of my past life and one of the best things in my life.
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