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 coderedjulia
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 211
What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?Page 9 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
Ok most men aren't attracted to obese women. Happy? Wasn't necessarily trying to be specific. Most knew what I meant.
 DeepakTolle
Joined: 4/3/2015
Msg: 212
What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 4/13/2015 6:03:10 AM
Scenario One :

2 Coworkers, both single, have amazing chemistry ( get along great, convo flows,same sense of humour, same viewpoints, etc )

BUT....HE leads a healthy lifestyle, she doesn't ( she has no interest in eating healthy, being active and will probably inevitably get sick and die at an earlier than avg age ) ....so he realizes a romantic union between them wouldn't work so he doesn't pursue her.





Scenario Two :

2 Coworkers, both single, have amazing chemistry ( get along great, convo flows,same sense of humour, same viewpoints, etc )

BUT ....SHE prefers dating taller guys and he is 3 inches shorter than guys she would normally date ( her rule is they must be at least 6 feet tall )

So, she chooses to pass on this guy (who SHE considers would otherwise be a wonderful companion )....for THAT reason alone.

IOW she can see by how they get along on a day to day basis at work that there's an excellent chance that they could have a great romantic union but she's going to pass on him and continue her search because he's a few inches shorter than guys she usually dates.

Some of you can call that a rational decision if you choose.

I choose not to.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 213
What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 4/13/2015 6:27:07 AM

Ok most men aren't attracted to obese women. Happy? Wasn't necessarily trying to be specific. Most knew what I meant.


I was simply pointing out that men can be attracted to a variety of body types. There have been women on POF ( and elsewhere ) that wrongly insist most men are attracted to thin women.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 214
What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 4/13/2015 6:48:31 AM

IOW she can see by how they get along on a day to day basis at work that there's an excellent chance that they could have a great romantic union but she's going to pass on him and continue her search because he's a few inches shorter than guys she usually dates.

Some of you can call that a rational decision if you choose.

I choose not to.


You construct an artificial situation not likely to happen in real life, but I will go with it.

I don't know if I can have great sexual chemistry with someone I physically don't care for. But I have good chemistry with a friend's wife, I don't think of it as a possible sexual relationship, and I doubt it would work even if she was single. Don't mistake friendly chemistry for romantic feelings.

But what is rational about dating? Really, human decisions are based on rational/emotional decisions. You need the emotional part to make good decisions.

If I think in a strictly "rational" way, I can't really see a reason to keep on living. What's the point really?

I still recall sitting in an all you can eat Chinese buffet close to my house. There was this very thin man with a very obese woman. He kept getting up to get her more plates of food, she never moved except to eat for several hours. Very odd looking arrangement, but they seemed happy.

I side with it's all preferences and let the whole rational argument go to a discussion of philosophy and the meaning of life.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 215
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What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 4/13/2015 7:22:20 AM
Excellent post by Deepak (msg. 295). Scenario one can be changed by her, but scenario two is out of his control.
 coderedjulia
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 216
What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 4/13/2015 7:24:02 AM

2 Coworkers, both single, have amazing chemistry ( get along great, convo flows,same sense of humour, same viewpoints, etc )

BUT....HE leads a healthy lifestyle, she doesn't ( she has no interest in eating healthy, being active and will probably inevitably get sick and die at an earlier than avg age ) ....so he realizes a romantic union between them wouldn't work so he doesn't pursue her.





Scenario Two :

2 Coworkers, both single, have amazing chemistry ( get along great, convo flows,same sense of humour, same viewpoints, etc )

BUT ....SHE prefers dating taller guys and he is 3 inches shorter than guys she would normally date ( her rule is they must be at least 6 feet tall )

So, she chooses to pass on this guy (who SHE considers would otherwise be a wonderful companion )....for THAT reason alone.

IOW she can see by how they get along on a day to day basis at work that there's an excellent chance that they could have a great romantic union but she's going to pass on him and continue her search because he's a few inches shorter than guys she usually dates.

Some of you can call that a rational decision if you choose.

I choose not to.


Good thing you're such a psychic dragonbytes. "I choose not to date a fat woman because she will inevitably get sick and die at an earlier than avg age!" Not only is that highly insensitive, its also untrue. People can choose to better themselves inevitably too. And not all fat woman are going to die early. Quit trying to justify your reasons. And just come out and say it. YOU WONT DATE FAT WOMEN BECAUSE YOU DONT FIND THEM PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE. PERIOD. You even said so yourself. If a woman is working on changing her lifestlye and eating habits, it doesn't matter to you. Because you would prefer if she was already thin. If that woman chooses to not date a man due to his height, then thats her decision. Once again, you are not respecting that. He meets all the requirements but excludes the physical ones. And there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that. Just like its not wrong for you to not want to date fat women. But you're coming off as extremely selfish, and a bit insulting. I expect this coming from the younger generation with their friendzones and everything should be way rants. But you're a 50 year old man. Grow up and realize not every woman is going to want to date you. No matter how stupid you think her reasons are. You simply cannot force attraction. No one is obligated to date you because you say so.
 Ladyinred4755
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 217
What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 4/13/2015 7:42:09 AM
?Ideal height difference between a man and a woman?....? There is one?
I never got that memo.

The men in my life, be they family members or a husband, a BF or just dating, have ranged from 5 ft 5 in. to 6 ft 4 in.
As long as his feet could touch the ground, he was good to me and we were compatible, all was good.

I have NEVER taken a persons shortness or tallness into consideration, when meeting them or getting along with them. My relationships have had EVERYTHING to do with personality, integrity, core values, and respect from and to each other.
Height? MEH!

(BTW, Dragonbytes is happily married. Not dating.)
 coderedjulia
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 218
What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 4/13/2015 7:57:23 AM
Dragonbytes, my apologies. My previous post was meant for DeepakTolle. I agree with your previous post wholeheartedly.
 coderedjulia
Joined: 11/15/2013
Msg: 219
What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 4/13/2015 8:31:28 AM
Let me just put this lightly, you will never do well with women if thats your attitude towards them. There isn't ONE woman in the world who enjoys going out with a man who believes that most women are fickle and unfair. That her preferences that exclude you are irrational, but yours aren't. Attempting to force attraction has a connection to emotional and sexual abuse when the word NO is not respected. It is highly repulsive when men attempt to feel victimized by women, when they don't want to date them.It's forums like this that make me realize how much women need feminism.
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 220
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What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 4/13/2015 8:42:24 AM
“IMO the biggest problem short men have is they don't get the same positive day to day reinforcement of their egos that taller men get. So a shorter man has to be a greater supply of confidence, but too much and it becomes bravado/arrogance.”

There’s probably some truth to that. For whatever reason, height or otherwise, I was never told I was attractive or treated as if I was attractive by an unrelated female until I was in my mid-20s... that’s pretty much the same as negative reinforcement, which might help explain why I’m so screwed up.

On the other hand, positive reinforcement is no guarantee of confidence. I’ve known far too many obviously gorgeous women who were told they were attractive and treated that way by the vast majority of society and still practically thought they were miscreants because they weren’t getting positive reinforcement from the only ones that truly mattered to them (sometimes bad parents, more often their main romantic interest; my very cute ex-girlfriend was one of those, as she had hypercritical parents and had just spent 2 or 3 years obsessed with a guy who never returned her interest right before she met me).

And on a related topic...

Dee: Pretty impressive, that post was. Very poetic. You know, I don’t want to discount the importance of confidence and self-esteem, but you cannot outright dismiss the opinions of others about your place in society. Is it wise for a five-foot-tall 300 pound woman with a limp and birth defects on her face to believe she can be a runway model? Would it be wise for you to pursue Justin Bieber as a romantic interest? Optimism needs to be tethered by realism, and realism requires honest self-evaluation. I know that according to overall female preferences, I’m in the bottom 1% of males. There have been some females not in the bottom 1% themselves who did not see it that way and I’m fortunate for that. There are going to be some outliers. Should we base our life strategy on outliers?

“Even a lone wolf evicted from the pack will seek out other wolves who will accept them rather than stay alone as that is what social animals do, or else they die trying....”

The complication here is that I was not “evicted by the pack.” I guess you could argue that I was not fully accepted by my current pack since only one woman in the pack has seen fit to date me. Should you really discard your social circle, one that loves you and enjoys your company, because no one in it will (or can) date you? That’s sort of the point of OLD – find someone outside your social circle to date and eventually bring them into your social circle (and you into theirs). As much as I appreciate the evolutionary metaphor, there are reasons why we are several steps about wolves. (Even though we are born to be wild. See what I did there?)

“Women, many times, won't deny their own preference for taller men. What they take exception to is the discussion of the near universality of that preference.”

I don’t think there is much reason to argue with the near universality of the preference. It is what it is. What they seem to argue with is the perception of the importance of that preference. Whereas statistical evidence (such as height preference listings, response rates according to height, etc.) suggests that height is the number 1 determiner of a man’s desirability (among quantifiable characteristics), many women will argue that it is actually 20th on their list of 25 things. What are we to believe – actions or words? That said, men around my height make up less than 10% of the male population, so how often does an opportunity actually arise, particularly outside of OLD (where short males make up a disproportionate percentage of the population due to their higher levels of datelessness), for a woman to apply the height filter on her rank of preferences?

Obviously “all other things being equal” never actually happens – the tall doctor could be more handsome than the short butcher contacting the woman, for example. What really gets my gizzard, though, is how the same women who claim height is “really not that important” still set a minimum height of several inches above their own in their searches (or preference settings, if on Match). As I’ve said before, it’s pretty interesting that I get 1 unsolicited view a month while 6 foot tall guys in my same market get 50+ unsolicited views a month... guys I’m otherwise “equal” with or superior to. If, you know, height really is “not that important.”

“On at least 3 occasions, back when I was dating online, I would meet a woman; and, she would tell me ‘you should just say you are 6 feet tall’.”

My best friend (a short attractive woman) has long suggested I “lie up” on my profiles. Why would she want to do that to other women? Is the happiness of a friend more important than general honesty? She seems to think that once a short woman meets me under less than honest circumstances, she will become enamored with my personality and will forgive the “minor” deception. What women say in these height threads suggests otherwise. But my experience is that you get punished for the truth as much as you get punished for a lie. You’re damned if you do and you’re damned if you don’t. You will fail either way. That's where hopelessness and suicidal feelings start coming in...

“Some of you can call that a rational decision if you choose.”

I actually think both of those possibilities are equally rational. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I agree with Julia: attraction in general is not rational. People can say whatever they want to about their preferences, but there are millions of cases in which a man or a woman cannot rationally explain their attraction to someone. And on that note, option #1 is somewhat disingenuous because most men aren’t going to make that decision on that type of rational thinking. I’m not even sure if most of them are going to make that decision based on the rational thinking of similar common interests or lifestyles. In general, most are just going to be attracted or not attracted, likely irrationally. Women are actually more likely to make a rational decision on option 2: he’s not what I’m attracted to, but he’s rich and will give me the lifestyle I want, for example. VERY rational (though not without negative connotations).

“I was simply pointing out that men can be attracted to a variety of body types.”

Although I obviously agree with this, the caveat is that women largely determine whether a romantic connection is going to happen. Men usually just go with the best opportunity they are given. So I wouldn’t necessarily say men are actually most attracted to the body type they are with – that was just the best body type they could get. With about 60% of American women considered overweight and 25% considered obese, the majority of men are going to have take a non-skinny woman or have none at all. Men being the pigs they are...

But women give much more thought to who they are going to pair up with, and not being pigs, aren’t on the whole “desperate.” 6 feet is the optimum height for a man (according to women’s own preferences) and less than 20% of men are that tall. Women who will only date tall men are making a very conscious decision to wait around for one of them to become available (I learned how to be a dating buzzard from my tall female friends). The ones who compromise on the height factor are almost never doing so for the same reasons men compromise on the body type factor. You don’t have to be an otherwise extraordinary overweight woman to land a man but you do have to be an otherwise extraordinary short man to land a woman.

But it’s just such an apples to oranges comparison: the majority of women are overweight while only 4% of American men are my height or shorter (most of them Asian or Hispanic). It doesn’t really matter what body type a man is attracted to – he’s probably going to end up with an overweight woman unless he’s a somewhat extraordinary man himself; whereas 95% of men better meet a woman’s preferences than I do, so if a woman does not want a short man, she can definitely find someone that is not. If you’re a woman and 95% of the men contacting you on this site are taller than me, then why would you even consider me? No matter how great my personality and character might be, you can’t find a guy with a better personality and character in that 95%? Quite frankly, if you’re a 6 foot guy and you’ve got a 5% response rate like I do, then you seriously need to re-evaluate your profile, your messages or yourself.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 221
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What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 4/13/2015 11:04:39 AM

You know, I don’t want to discount the importance of confidence and self-esteem, but you cannot outright dismiss the opinions of others about your place in society.


Your PLACE in society????????
You did NOT just say that to me.....LOL

Hmmm, ok, I'll just take it as I believe you meant it....


s it wise for a five-foot-tall 300 pound woman with a limp and birth defects on her face to believe she can be a runway model?


Can you say with 100% certainty that she WON'T??? If believing that makes HER happy, who cares?


Would it be wise for you to pursue Justin Bieber as a romantic interest?


I so badly want to know...are you HIGH??!?!?!?
j/k
LOL


Optimism needs to be tethered by realism, and realism requires honest self-evaluation.


K, well, thing is...reality is subjective, so by default so is being "realistic"....According to the 'norms' of a society? If so , then you need to reevalute, and yes, do an honest assessment as to whether or not this is really about society, or your own perceptions of what that society is calling the norm....
If it is the society then you can decide to live within those boundaries or you can shift your perception just slightly and start believing that you are the ONLY one who should be able to determine your worth and value as a human being, as a man and as a potential partner for a woman, as well as being a contributing member of society.


The complication here is that I was not “evicted by the pack.” I guess you could argue that I was not fully accepted by my current pack since only one woman in the pack has seen fit to date me. Should you really discard your social circle, one that loves you and enjoys your company,


One more small shift in perception and you can see that the above demonstrates the choice that YOU are making to not change anything in order to perhaps seek out opportunities elsewhere....While I get the whole wanting them in your social circle etc. If you think about the fact that is important to you and for that reason you are CHOOSING to remain where you are, then you can begin to have some measure of control over the situation.

Yeah, I GET that it seems like a stupid 'trick' to try and fool yourself with something so obvious....but guess what, it's been proven that you CAN change your own thought processes and it usually does have a positive reverberation in the world...
I try and tell myself that I'm NOT responsible for the first thought that enters my mind, I am only responsible for entertaining it....
 HawkingJr
Joined: 4/16/2007
Msg: 222
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What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 4/13/2015 3:56:45 PM
“Can you say with 100% certainty that she WON'T??? If believing that makes HER happy, who cares?”

By all means, if someone wants to live a life of delusion, then so long as they aren’t harming anyone, I’m not going to bother them. But living a life of delusion makes it much more difficult to accomplish achievable goals, since you are focusing on almost unachievable goals.

This actually seems like a azz-backwards argument for me, because *normally* in these forums it is women telling men that they are the ones living a life of delusion and the men are the ones being “unrealistic” by initiating contact with women “out-of-their-league” or that are obviously “not a match.” Apparently you are not in agreement with those women… the vast majority of women. More power to you – going against society’s norms! Your philosophy, at least the one in the last few posts, sounds more similar to IG’s, which seems bizarre, but apparently both of you believe anything is achievable in dating if you just put your mind to it. You can even date Justin Bieber if you want!

***

So here’s an interesting personal anecdote on the rank of height among female preferences:

I have actually met more women from dating websites that do not include height listings than I have received interested responses or first contacts from women on dating websites that do include height listings or searches. At times I have had exactly the same profile wording and same pictures on both types of sites at the same time and achieved almost no communication on the height-listing sites, yet on the sites without height-listings, I sometimes have averaged a meeting every couple of months.

Basically, I can convince women I am worth dating (or at least meeting) so long as they do not know how tall I am, but I cannot convince women who know how tall I am that I am worth meeting or dating. Or even worth responding to. Or even worth looking at my profile (because of their search exclusions).

If many women truly do consider male height such a low priority preference, how do you explain that?

(So why not stick with what worked for me instead of whining in the forums about sites with height listings, you ask? Because prior to Tinder, OLD without height listings had become extinct. Those were largely a relic of the dawn of the internet. As for Tinder, I think I might be too old because it skews pretty young. Actually, I really don’t know what the hell is going on with me and Tinder. It’s a puzzlebox for sure.)
 arlo2
Joined: 5/30/2013
Msg: 223
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What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 4/13/2015 4:16:40 PM

“On at least 3 occasions, back when I was dating online, I would meet a woman; and, she would tell me ‘you should just say you are 6 feet tall’.”

My best friend (a short attractive woman) has long suggested I “lie up” on my profiles. Why would she want to do that to other women?


Actually, what they were saying was that I showed up, in real life, taller than they expected. To paraphrase :
"You should just put 6 feet tall on your profile. I almost didn't write you back." Interestingly, all 3 of these women were considerably shorter than their own listed heights. They were all, supposedly, 5'8" or 5'9". But, even in their heels, they barely made that mark. Their actual heights were about 5'5" to 5'6". I didn't say anything.



Is the happiness of a friend more important than general honesty?


Among those social experiments I mentioned, one interesting finding was that when asked to select prospective dates, from a field, for themselves, and a friend; more than 90% of the time, a woman would select a taller date for herself than her friend. This was irrespective of the relative heights of the two women.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 224
What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 4/13/2015 5:07:25 PM

(So why not stick with what worked for me instead of whining in the forums about sites with height listings, you ask? Because prior to Tinder, OLD without height listings had become extinct.


Outside of eharmony, I have never used a USA dating site, so I don't know how it would have worked.

BUT if I didn't have at least a 5% response rate, I would at first try different pictures, profiles, sites, etc, but if none of that worked I wouldn't devote any more time to OLD.

I would try joining group exercise classes at the gym, they are 95% all women. You are into film, see if you can teach art appreciation / film something or other. Or take a class at a community college (cheaper) that a lot of women would likely be enrolled. Take a part time job as a bartender. Something that put me into contract with a lot of single or younger women. Younger generally being single and more open to dating.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 225
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What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 4/13/2015 5:10:56 PM
Or he can go for the Isaan girls! I think Cali has a lot.
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 226
What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 4/13/2015 5:34:52 PM

Or he can go for the Isaan girls! I think Cali has a lot.


Cali?

Cali Colombia? California?

Isaan girls would work in Thailand, but I doubt it would work in whatever Cali you are thinking about.

While many Isaan girls are attractive, they are going to be from a poor farming village. Really, is Hawking going to want to date a woman that speaks pigeon English at best?
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 227
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What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 4/13/2015 6:16:21 PM
Issan girls, is that Asian girls?? I know a guy went to Thailand and married a girl half his age he knew for three weeks.
He can barely understand her even after 7 years and the communication is minimal now between them because he lost his job and his house and she is stuck with two kids and crowded accommodations. She married for a better life
and it is still legalised prostitution when sexual favours are given in return for material goods. He was a fool to think she would love and support him. She may well leave if she finds another ageing sucker to give her the life she immigrated for. This is by no means an isolated situation and is rife here.

Oh and as shorter man, the petite Asian woman is attractive to him and he can be taller and bigger than....
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 228
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What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 4/13/2015 6:20:31 PM
from what I gather even taller men get about 5% contact rate with online dating, if that. And as for successful relationships resulting, about 1%.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 229
What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 4/13/2015 7:54:26 PM

Quite frankly, if you’re a 6 foot guy and you’ve got a 5% response rate like I do, then you seriously need to re-evaluate your profile, your messages or yourself.


Height is important to many women. But a tall man still needs to match her other requirements. Women may not be interested in a tall man because race, weight, hairstyle / facial features, income, education level, smoking and drinking habits, having or wanting kids, religion, interests etc.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 230
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What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 4/13/2015 8:11:43 PM
@Dragon...that went over your head like Jetblue :) Cailfornia has 120k Thai's and he is thinking of moving there..I am sure many are from that region. Hawking mentioned the Ukrainian girls and that REALLY wouldn't work considering most dislike North Americans and most are Xenophobic and racist. And most also speak pigeon English, and come to think about it most who look to leave are village girls. Those looking for upward mobility tend to just go find a Russian!
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 231
What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 4/13/2015 9:02:16 PM
adventurejoe70, last I checked, California is the only state in the USA where you can take your driver's license test in Thai. I figured they had the largest Thai population.

I recall a poster who was leaving the USA to live in Ukraine with his sexy new bride. He was very vocal about how glad he was to not date American women and leaving the USA. This was over a year or so ago. Then the news of Russia and Ukraine problems. I often wondered what happened to him.

I had a Russian friend when I lived in SanFran, you remind me of him a little. Nice fellow, but I would never move to either Russia or Ukraine to live. Too many political problems.

Hawking has said a couple of times the reason he doesn't like children is because they don't communicate well. Something like that. I doubt he has the patience to deal with someone just learning English.

ciao
 notthedoctor2
Joined: 3/19/2015
Msg: 232
What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 4/15/2015 3:39:42 PM

Sometimes, yes. But, more often, it's just that the guy can not muster any physical attraction for her. Many times, this happens, once the clothes come off. And, the guy has to decide, which is worse,


I have a close male friend who is very into working out and almost always dates slim, fit women who work out and are very active. He got to know a "chubby" woman at work who is smart, funny, kind, and has an absolutely gorgeous face. He enjoyed talking with her, and making her laugh. He appreciated her intelligence and charm, and he was feeling torn about it. He found he "wanted" to be attracted to her because she was good for him (his words) but he had never dated a chubby chick ( and she IS only chubby, not fat). After thinking about it for a while, he asked her out and things moved pretty quickly. They became intimate and were spending tons of time together. About two and half months in, I noticed he didn't seem to be talking about her as much, and I asked him about it. He told me that he "just couldn't get past" the fact that he did not love her body. He said the sex was just okay because his heart just wasn't in it. He also tried to "motivate her" and drag her butt to the gym with predictable results . I do not believe she knew that he found her body unattractive, and of course he gave her all the BS about just wanting her to be healthy. Anyway, he now wants to break up, but he feels guilty because he pursued her pretty hard, and thinks she might be in love with him. He is also kind of angry at himself for thinking that her good qualities would override the fact that she simply wasn't his type, physically. I think physical attraction is damn near the top of the list of things that matter to men and women, and it's kind of crazy to fight it.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 233
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What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 4/15/2015 4:09:07 PM
@notthedoctor


I've personally never let the 'package' stand in the way of me being with a wonderful human being....
(Get your MINDS outta the gutter!!! LMAO)


It's a known fact that people become more attractive to us as we develop deeper feelings for them....

What you describe above, is BS as far as I'm concerned....

Your friend had enough attraction to get into an actual relationship for MONTHS, and now he 'realizes' that he just isn't 'physically attracted' to this woman that he has been with???? AND is unable to 'fake it' anymore???

Wow! I'm sure she'll be so happy to know that...

I think his hormones and the 'infatuation' stage have both calmed down and the reality of being seen in public as well as introducing her to his family and friends, has him 're-thinking' the scenario....

Had a guy who once told me something similar....I was SUCH a wonderful person, and so smart and such a good person, and blah, blah, blah...

Bottom line, that was HIS breakup line....That he was NEVER that attracted to me, aside from the fact that I didn't want kids right away...

Funny thing was, as unattractive as he claimed I was, he STILL wanted to have sex all of the time!!! Go figure....

I don't know...but I personally, can't 'get it up' for someone that I'm NOT physically attracted to....and I would think that for a man, that MIGHT be even more difficult to 'hide'....

It was pretty simple in my case...Along with those women always looking to 'trade up' to a newer and richer man, according to SOME men, there are PLENTY of men out there that are more concerned with seeing IF they can get that 'better looking' or 'hotter' woman...and they don't really care to stop and think about what they might lose in the process...

Oh! And that's NOT a 'theory' either...I actually found that out from an ex-friend of his many years later.

And before, this turns into another case of 'we are all 'entitled' to be with who we want'....I don't have a problem with someone being attracted to what they like....
It would just be nice if people didn't have to go through the process, dragging others along with them, in order to 'discover' what they ALREADY know....
 arlo2
Joined: 5/30/2013
Msg: 234
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What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 4/15/2015 4:29:19 PM
@notthedoctor2

This is probably best a subject for another thread. But, yes; that scenario gets repeated over and over.

I tell guys who get into that situation, the first time, FAKE AN INJURY ! Do NOT have sex with that woman. And, do NOT just turn it off and walk away as soon as you see her naked. There is no winning, here. It ALWAYS ends badly.
 Ouija2025
Joined: 6/11/2014
Msg: 235
What is the ideal height difference between a man and a woman?
Posted: 4/15/2015 5:02:33 PM
Why oh why is it always a " friend"
Only have his side, maybe not a case of couldn't get pass
as opposed to couldn't perform
Sounds like he thought his winning personality would make her shed the weigh
If she did
Probably wouldnt have banged said friend
Dating is not supposed to be " changing" others
If it was
All Men would look like my Vin
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