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 canyunflyer
Joined: 2/6/2006
Msg: 71
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How do you break an obsession with someone?Page 6 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
well, I see the OP hasn't even been in here for months, so now we're just talking to hear ourselves talk... but I'll do it anyway.

I really think we need to be very thoughtful and really Identify our termonolgy. When I see words like 'Obssession', these are very heavy duty words to me. These are the kinds of words we use with.. mental disorders, ect. Not normal. Not your regular run of the mill loss, and grief stuff.

Whether the OP is actually obssessed or not, is an unanswered question. Perhaps he needs to see a professional just to define that, if nothing else. I know how powerful loss of love can be...even if was only a percieved love... the loss is not less great. I know how, for what seems like a long time... the world seems to be filled with nothing but triggers which can set this off. I know how you can feel sick and fractured inside. I know how you can ache for someone, in a way that nothing will lessen. All of this is normal. It is not, in my opinion, obssession. We're even allowed a certain ammount of dysfunction while we recover. But there are limits to this. If anyone, including the op, really feel they are exceeding these limits... then they need some kind of help. It is foolish and even dangerous to try and do it all alone.
 quietstorm8
Joined: 10/22/2006
Msg: 78
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How do you break an obsession with someone?
Posted: 1/11/2007 1:55:28 AM
i'm all for enjoying the exquisite feelings of the heart,but
in this particular situation since

your social support is more limited you should
probably enlist help from your rational mind more.
some of what you feel for her is certainly real and
precious yet you cant ignore the fact

your having a small family and circle of friends plays
into it as well.
 PickyProfessional
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 82
How do you break an obsession with someone?
Posted: 2/24/2007 10:33:29 AM
time will take care of it. even faster if you find someone to supplant her in the interim.
 PickyProfessional
Joined: 2/3/2007
Msg: 83
How do you break an obsession with someone?
Posted: 2/24/2007 10:37:32 AM
with all due respect, judith: therapist, schmerapist. sounds like a crock to me. he'll get over her. it's totally normal and he's not subconsciously fixated on a parent. all he needs is time and/or someone new...but he doesn't think he can can anyone else who's comparable, so he's fixated on her. he needs to work on his self-esteem.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 87
How do you break an obsession with someone?
Posted: 2/24/2007 7:28:53 PM
Get a lobotomy.

You don't want to let it go, and you won't be able to let away until you really want to.
 wisdomangel
Joined: 3/16/2007
Msg: 101
How do you break an obsession with someone?
Posted: 5/8/2010 10:23:39 PM
I wish I could tell you ...
It's been years since my ex left me and I still think about him constantly. Unlike you, we lived together for five years. I have tried all the things everyone suggests, get out, join new groups etc. Still my mind and my heart are obsessed with thoughts of him. You are right, it is tormenting. I don't know how the keep the thoughts and feelings away for more than a few minutes. I wish I could help you. I wish I could help me.
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 103
How do you break an obsession with someone?
Posted: 5/25/2010 7:42:53 PM
Well, obsession wouldn't be the right for me perhaps. But it's fascinating how someone who's totally wrong for you - no match, no trust, no respect, arguments, etc., and you still think of her now and then. That happened to me last November. Now we haven't talked for 2-3 months. It ended at the right time, had it continued it would've been a complete disaster. One's brain really plays tricks a lot, making you think of someone who's only bad for you. Some people leave a greater impression than others, depending on how deeply involved you were of course.
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