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 tyra1276
Joined: 6/10/2006
Msg: 38
do men without kids date woman who have them?Page 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Some do, some don't :) I have a son, so I haven't really met any that won't lol My last serious relationship was with a man that had no children of his own, and didn't really want any of his own. But he was a fantastic role model for my son, loved him like his own, and when we were engaged, was planning on adopting my son. It is possible to find them, just takes a bit of searching.
 earthboundangel67
Joined: 9/2/2011
Msg: 40
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 12/21/2011 9:08:20 PM
I think it is possible. However, had a very strange experience just tonight... a fellow a little older than myself with no kids, emailing back & forth wanting to chat on the phone .... but when I mentioned I was hanging out with my son...asked me how old was he, and if he lived with me....when I told him, he said that a mom with kids dosent have time for him....apparently not in his mind! ugh! his loss! Apparently didnt read my profile....or couldnt, and just liked the pictures! Can be very challenging at times. Thinking there are just a few too many lonely nutcases out at this time of year....been a very strange few days....gonna hibernate for the next week! And just enjoy my kids!!!
 classydrummer42
Joined: 3/17/2008
Msg: 41
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 12/21/2011 10:56:00 PM
I have dated someone with s kid and i would do it again, i just think more then one is too much for me to take on. and there is just so much that goes into that kind of thing.
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 42
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 12/25/2011 3:39:02 AM
I do. Most women have them where I live.
 needyone
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 43
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 12/29/2011 12:47:24 PM
May be read the replies from the ladies on dating a single father they seem to think it is a burden so they are not interested. Also i think maybe a lot of the profiles might scare guys off when they clearly state that the children are numer one sort of makes a guy feel like he will always be unimportant (just saying) and no i am not a single dad
 dad2stay
Joined: 8/11/2011
Msg: 44
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 12/29/2011 1:09:16 PM
Any one who thinks anything is more important or more of a priority than a parents child is delusional

Anyone who is jealous of a child's love and attention from a parent should be institutionalized

The love between 2 lovers is not even in the same ballpark as the love between a parent and child so why do people get all butt hurt over it?
 siks6
Joined: 12/20/2011
Msg: 45
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 12/29/2011 3:43:42 PM
^^ couldn't agree more :)
 Halo4
Joined: 8/16/2011
Msg: 46
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 12/30/2011 7:06:12 PM
I am a 38 single mom of 4. and it has come to be my experince that then ones who do get involved with moms with kids are kids themselfs. that or they are in need of that mommy figure to take care of them. I see some men who get involved with a single mom and it is great! I wish i would find one that is not afraid to be with a woman with kids. we are not all out to find a babydaddy.
 Graphic_Designer1
Joined: 9/16/2011
Msg: 47
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 12/31/2011 9:03:19 AM
I've done it in the past, I'm open to it but it boils down to the scenario. I try not to judge but I see some 25 year olds on here with 3 kids and single. I tend to gravitate more towards a 30 year old woman with one kid. It all comes down to life choices, and 9/10 out of 10 that 25 year olds kids weren't planned. Again, I try not to judge but its usually not worth it in the long run.
 lar2564
Joined: 9/15/2010
Msg: 48
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do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 12/31/2011 7:57:19 PM
yes that would be me guilty as charge. I am currently dating a woman that has a 3 year old girl. I do honestly have to say I didn't imagine I could like dating a woman with a kid, but I was open to the possibility and glad I made the choice. However, the truth is we live within miles of each other and I love kids along with I have an lot of experience with children, I have 5 nephews and nieces. So that made it easier, but still it is very tough type of relationship.

And I could understand why a lot of men in my position would shy away from dating a girl with a kid and she shared her experiences with me about other men she dated who didn't have kids. And tended to be an issue that they would plan to go out, her daughter gets sick or something comes up, she cancels. They get mad. Eventually it ends. And the same has happened to us, we had to cancel many dates. And her daughter's dad pretty much never sees his daughter so she is basically a full time mom. This is a lot for any guy to handle and I think it is hard to find someone that has that much patience and on top of that is secure enough to deal with it. Because when you cancel enough times, the guy will start to think you aren't interested...even if you are.
 lar2564
Joined: 9/15/2010
Msg: 49
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do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 12/31/2011 8:10:10 PM
But on the encouraging side, I am learning something very valuable that a lot of men in my position don't think about. I think they don't want to be with a woman that has a kid because they get put on a "backseat." It doesn't become all about them. The first night I spoke to the girl I am dating she said her last boyfriend didn't work out because "he didn't like to not be put first."

Wait a minute now, most men eventually want to have a family right? So aren't they eventually going to be put on a "backseat"? Eventually it won't be all about them. What happens then? They are married and feel neglected and perhaps it ends in divorce...obviously something not wanted.

So perhaps it is better to get with a woman where you aren't put first and if you like her enough where you still okay with that, that means there is better long-term potential in the relationship. You already tested the waters before making the commitment in some way.

So maybe you won't find a lot of guys that want to be put in this situation and it doesn't work out as a result. Maybe that is good because you know right away rather then being married, starting a family, and finding out then they don't like taking a backseat.
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 50
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 12/31/2011 10:33:28 PM
lar.....nice to see you do sell yourself short...

I think another truth....is we have a choice who we choose to date....or who we choose to be....or who and what we choose to do with out life.....

But from your little posting...it seems you place yourself on some pedestal.....where you are soooo giving or accommodating as opposed to those who do not show the same understanding ....

But then in your own profile...you state


Psychologists have shown people tend to drastically overrate themselves. Therefore, I rather share some things about myself that will allow you to make your own conclusions,


I have no problems with the premise of freedom of choice....and unlike some I see no reason to blow ones ego up just because they suggest they are more accommodating....because they can go out with a single parent...

I think a far healthier view is the simple button that says....NEXT....but then it does lack that sense of white knight....who overlooks the children as an obstacle?
 walker1960
Joined: 8/10/2007
Msg: 51
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 1/1/2012 2:02:29 PM
When a woman has children.....those children will of course be a number one priority in the woman's life......when I have tried to date a woman with kids.....it was pretty much impossible.....unless I wanted to say right up front that I want to act like a daddy and we can just always do family oriented type things and when the kids have personal issues or the father causes issues that there is no problem because hey...we are just acting like a big ol family anyway.......see what I mean?
If a man wants to actually just date the lady......go to adult oriented activities and such......it is just very tough to do......I've learned my lessons and I don't try to do it....I don't have anything against a single mom......but my experience anyway.....is she will have much better luck with another man who also has children.....so they can just do mommy and daddy and kids type things.....
Needless to say....(mind you I don't have kids)......I don't do much dating...which doesn't bother me at all......(I am specifically talking about women with younger children...which for some reason I am finding more and more women closer to me in age that still have younger ones...).....
 mainelyhere
Joined: 11/21/2011
Msg: 52
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 1/1/2012 2:15:17 PM
I hav little interest in dating a single mother in general

1) i want to share all those "firsts" , first birth of a child, first steps, etc etc

2) i dont want a partner whos maternal attention and time is given to a child that is not my own

3) i dont want OUR resources spent on someone who is not my child , not even my relative.

a single parent has a lot of provisos too-

no spending the night comes to mind, busy weekends or every other weekend, things like that.

im not judging single mothers, merely saying the negatives are severe.
 heart2cook
Joined: 2/9/2011
Msg: 53
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 1/1/2012 8:27:57 PM

Any one who thinks anything is more important or more of a priority than a parents child is delusional

Anyone who is jealous of a child's love and attention from a parent should be institutionalized

The love between 2 lovers is not even in the same ballpark as the love between a parent and child so why do people get all butt hurt over it?


Well said. However, I can understand why men would shy away from women with kids. For the same reason I used to shy away from men with kids. It's a huge responsibility, it's a matter of sharing time and attention, and it's a matter of being flexible.

I am a single mother. I never in a million years thought I'd find myself in this situation, but I have. In comparing my dating life now from before I was married - what a difference! I used to get messages often, chatted often, and even went out often. Now that I've got "baggage" I haven't had a decent conversation (on a dating site) yet. My priorities are so different now than they were 5 years ago. Had you asked me 5 years ago what a man's priorities should be, whether he had kids or not, I probably would have said "his spouse". Shows how much I knew.

The right guy will come along someday. Maybe he'll have kids, maybe not.

I kinda prefer (now that I have a child) to find a guy with a child because he's more apt to understand that parental bond that demands so much of my attention and time.



 mainelyhere
Joined: 11/21/2011
Msg: 54
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 1/2/2012 7:00:43 AM

Anyone who is jealous of a child's love and attention from a parent should be institutionalized


lol says a parent.

but its one thing to be jealous for no reason, its another when you can not have a single weekend or almost any night except once in a blue moon.

we understand life gets in the way, but at least make the effort.
 lar2564
Joined: 9/15/2010
Msg: 55
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do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 1/2/2012 10:28:21 AM
So what is the main reason why someone doesn't want to date a single parent?

It more because lack of attention or the fact they don't want to raise someone's child? Or drama from the other parent?
 mainelyhere
Joined: 11/21/2011
Msg: 56
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 1/2/2012 12:39:01 PM
vix, to be fair how many of those guys 1_ read your profile and 2) arent just looking for a short term thing?
ive slept with women, i would never marry
 Debstef
Joined: 3/30/2010
Msg: 57
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do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 1/2/2012 4:01:36 PM
Why are you bothering to question these men, they are cleary not good enough for you.
 tsukasa1992
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 58
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 1/9/2012 11:16:26 AM
i dont see why a men would not date a women with kids i mean , kids are awesome but it can be dificult i myself wouldnt mind a gf with a kid
 Silverhawk_tkn
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 59
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do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 1/9/2012 1:54:53 PM
Any one who thinks anything is more important or more of a priority than a parents child is delusional


If this is the way you think, then you really shouldn't be dating.......

I've said this in other threads and I'll say it here......if you never intend for your mate to have an equal place in your family you will never have a balanced relationship, and it will be doomed to failure.

I place just as much priority on my GF and her kids as I do my own, and she does the same for me and mine. That is the only way a blended family has any way of working.

Its the same reason why I despise the "my kid comes first" statement in so many profiles.....If your kids come first, it means me and my kids will come second, or third, or fourth, and I won't accept that.

There has to be balance. For there to be balance, there has to be some form of equality in the family, and that means having an expectation up front that you treat a mate (and their kids) with similar respect and importance as your kids.

And no...I'm not saying you dump your kids for your mate, as all good parents have responsibilties to their kids. I am saying that you have discretion in the relationship and don't let your kids rule your life day by day. Take the needs of your mate as seriously as those of your kids.........
 siks6
Joined: 12/20/2011
Msg: 60
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 1/9/2012 2:28:21 PM
^^^Agreed completely, as I stated also, that I do the same with my boy, hence why I do not date or relationships. I know it wouldn't be healthy as I dedicate all my time for my son, and he will always come first. And seeing how it would be like in the other person's shoes, it would not be fair to either of us. You have to look at it realistically, if you truly do put your child first.
 Damienevil
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 61
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 1/9/2012 2:41:11 PM
Some guys do and some guys do not.

I will not because I do not like spending money on People who are not friends or my direct blood line. There are also other things that come to mind about single parents that I have seen to be true in a majority of the cases. Most of them should not be dating anyone. They should be focused entirely on the child to fix most of the kids issues.
 Damienevil
Joined: 2/22/2008
Msg: 62
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 1/9/2012 2:42:31 PM
I should point out this has more to do with younger single moms then older single moms. Huge difference between a single mom at like 30+ vs a single mom who is 23.

It also matters how old the kid was when seperation happened.
 Tealwood
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 63
do men without kids date woman who have them?
Posted: 1/9/2012 3:38:14 PM

Why are you bothering to question these men, they are cleary not good enough for you.


And equally then comes the suggestion that from some perspectives.....woman with children can easily be viewed in the same manner...Not good enough.....or having to many complications...to many issues or too much baggage...clearly....one has the right to make the choice what they will desire...as opposed to what for some might be settling for less...defined by the single mother with children and no job?
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