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 Derrek13
Joined: 4/19/2006
Msg: 1
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Young single dad needs advicePage 2 of 2    (1, 2)
My ex and i have joint custody of my two year old son. We split up about a month and a half ago. She is technically the custodial parent, but ever since we split, i have had my son during the week, and she has him on the weekends. i still pay child support to her. i was curious to see if anyone knew how to grant me as the custodial parent?

i was also wondering if it was appealing to younger women for men to have kids and take care of them and notjust pay child support.
 Derrek13
Joined: 4/19/2006
Msg: 3
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Young single dad needs advice
Posted: 5/1/2006 12:38:43 PM
Actually the change in custody will change nothing about how i raise my son. he will still live with me throught the week. the only reason his mother wants him is to hold a grip on me. she tries to contol me with the threat of taking him and skipping town. the question i posed was if women would concider me taking responsibiliy of my son a good thing, because many men just pay and run or don't pay at all. i have the maturity to step up and try to raise my son the way i think he should be raised. the question didnt refer to getting my son to "pick up chicks". i think thats very immature.
 justmeinnc05
Joined: 8/12/2005
Msg: 5
Young single dad needs advice
Posted: 6/8/2006 9:13:15 AM
If you and your x have only been broke up for a month and a half, my advice to you would be to not worry about dating at all.

1. Give yourself time to get you together.
2. To make sure you will not get back together. It really isn't fair to anyone you might date, to start dating so fresh out.
3. As long as you both have time with the child, what difference does it make who is called the custodial parent.
4. You probably shouldn't have to pay child support, but if she is spending the money on the child, why would you have a problem with paying it? Do you make more money than she does? Perhaps that is why you are paying.
 MommaBear69
Joined: 8/15/2005
Msg: 6
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Custody battles suck!
Posted: 11/11/2006 3:03:10 AM
Geeze, I wish I had some of your lives! My ex took me to court for guardianship and he was denied because he is unstable. He willingly give up all rights in the middle of court. His choice. I now have sole custody, sole guardianship, can leave the country if I chose to do so. He's never paid a dime, misses most visits which I give him despite having no access order. He doesnt acknowledge his son on special occassions/holidays. He pretends he never gave up his rights and threatens me when I want to return home to BC where my family is, or if I deny him access for standing his son up repeatedly. We are now on restraining order #2. Then served with parenting papers demanding essentially 50/50 time, as a means to get out of paying child support (you need to be a guardian to even file for parenting). After 3 adjournments for child support and failing to produce his 2005 tax return as ordered I ended up with a pitiful sum for my son...and I wont hold my breath! He then decides to meet with my now ex friend for coffee to offer to pay her to supervise his non-existant visitations and she agrees to it for the money! After all the hell he has put us through he has the nerve to put "I have a son whom is 1.5 years old and he means everything to me" on his POF profile Now you would think this would make me bitter, but really Im good with raising my son alone. My point being, it's not just women that try to use children to control situations. My theory is if you cant be a good father then dont be one at all...there is no in between. I commend all you guys out there that stand up to the plate and put your child(ren) first!

Derek13 I would definately be keeping a diary for court and changing those court documents to reflect you essentially have custody of the child 75% of the time and your ex should be paying YOU child support. Whatever you do, do not go against a judges order and piss them off! Its time consuming but in the end things will work out IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILD.
 luxuryauto
Joined: 10/23/2006
Msg: 7
Young single dad needs advice
Posted: 11/11/2006 4:56:03 PM
I dont really know what advice to give you but youre not alone. I have been a single dad with 3 young boys for about a 1 1/2 yrs now. Mywife left me for another man 3 days after Mothers Day in May of 2005. I took her to court for custody of our children and the court gave her full custody with no visitation rights for me because I was in the lobby and not in the court room. I had to appeal my case. I have always had the boys physically living with me. She only came to visit every 1 1/2 months just for a few minutes because she was so into this other man. She has only kept the boys with her for about two weeks total time in the past year and 1/2 overnight. We finally signed a court agreement sharing custody and she can have the two younger boys the last week of every month. She has never enforced her week to have any of the boys. Its sad. I have had the boys the total time. I love my boys and I would do anything for them. I still love my wife even after all the pain she put me through but now it time for me to move on and start a new life. Its been pretty hard so far. I have never asked my wife for child support either. She has borrowed lots of money from me but she has never given me a penny. As for dating. I forgot how to. I just joined this online dating site to hopefully start my life over. I just got served 2 days ago with Divorce papers and I heard my wife had her tubes untied so now she's pregnant. I have been married since 7/10/93 and I thought I had a perfect marriage. Hopefully we can all learn from each other. Good luck to you. Let me know if you know any nice women out there who need a boyfriend. Just kidding. Take care
 Swiftone
Joined: 10/30/2005
Msg: 8
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Young single dad needs advice
Posted: 11/11/2006 5:06:18 PM
Not sure how it works in your part of the world, but were I'm from, it sounds like you are the custodial parent by the percentage of time you have the kids.

Go see a lawyer. Get a different order that reflects the reality.

Sounds like she should be paying you, but make sure. Don't assume diddly. Talk to a lawyer.
 prof48
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 9
Young single dad needs advice
Posted: 11/13/2006 7:25:06 PM

If you can't find one, call the 1-800-555-1212
and they will get u in contact with someone that can help u for next to nothing.


Its much better than nothing, but my experience is you get what you pay for. I've never lost when I had the best lawyer in town. Best does not equal most expensive every time, so it might be worth checking around as to who is most successful on the type of case you wish to litigate or seek legal advise. Finding out who is best can be a bit daunting as the official channels are not permitted to make such evaluations.
 Lizbeth37184
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 10
Young single dad needs advice
Posted: 8/1/2007 9:53:02 PM
Take your child while he is with you up to the courthouse and ask to see a judge, then ask that he grants you custody. Tell him your story of how you take care of him to include how often you see him and that you still pay child support. And yes, it is very attractive to see a man step up and take responsibilty. However, don't do it because of what someone else may think... do it because it's what's in your heart.

Liz
 SlingDad
Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 11
Young single dad needs advice
Posted: 8/4/2007 11:11:05 AM
For Chrissakes don't stop paying support, that will sink you.

I am the Primary Custodial Parent of my 3 children & my ex pays a pittance in child support so she doesn't have to live in the ghetto.........and that's WHEN she pays, which is rare.

Anyway, you should seek counsel and ask them about a modification for support. It's true that you do risk her taking your child back because of the court order -v- the time she allows you, but we're not talking a custody battle, but rather just a support modification. Then again, it could turn against you, as others have mentioned.

Oh, and for some totally irrelevant content........its 2damn bad I'm 2old and 2faraway for 2cute2bforgotten, lol.
 Wullis
Joined: 7/2/2006
Msg: 12
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Young single dad needs advice
Posted: 8/4/2007 12:44:16 PM
PAY & Wait awhile Get a calender and register all the days you have you child
Keep your expenses, emails, phone records ect.......

GET A LAWYER and get a good one ..............
Ask for a fast track case(short date)

You may even get the Support back

You might try jokingly to see if she would stop the support.\

I have full custody, and forego support so she will stay in his life a little.
If she had to pay she would take it out on him(verbaly) or leave. He needs to have his mom what ever time she decides to give him
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