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Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income      Home login  
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 Hoomondog
Joined: 4/23/2016
Msg: 41
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Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high incomePage 6 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I am a 50-year-old man on a low income, less than 25,000 a year. I am also slim, although I don't really consider myself a weakling, or a wimp. I am positive, but I also know a lot of women do look for a man with a high income. We low-income guys have rights, too! Isn't there a woman out there who would want a man JUST AS HE IS?? I am looking for that kind of woman. A woman with a steady income that's NOT TO MUCH HIGHER than mine? Who wouldn't think anything of his LOW INCOME?
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 42
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Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 4/27/2016 5:14:20 PM
Well, think of it this way-

Women who are also low income struggle with car, rent, (or home owner bills) utilities. When something breaks they have no idea where the money will come from.

Low income men know how to make things work. If it's broke, we fix it. We can make a "well dressed" statement with a ten year old suit. If we travel, it's by car or truck, and normally within the lower forty-eight. An evening out may be just at a local bar. A fancy expensive restaurant, fills you up, but so does fast food. A ten buck Timex keeps time just as well as a thousand dollar Rolex. We manage with what's there.

Plenty of women have listened to the "Know it all" boyfriend who claims to be able to do for her. And she ends up with a screwed up mess that looks horrible, breaks, or never gets fixed. They have been lied to about a guys income. Or his abilities. The end result is they have been sold a bill of goods. And saying to their friends that their boyfriend is a trash collector is pretty low on the "envious" scale.

Their end of struggling to make ends meet is far different than ours. They just assume that their struggles are the same as ours. Which it isn't. All we have to do is convince them of our abilities. Which is a tall order.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 43
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Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 4/27/2016 5:53:42 PM
chitodog
women who put up with bad abusive behaviour have self esteem issues and will stay with a guy out of fear or not wanting to be alone. If they have children together, even more so. A woman with a healthy respect for herself would want only a respectful, responsible man no matter his income.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 44
Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 4/28/2016 7:00:16 AM
This is similar to whether a man would date an physically attractive woman that is an airhead or a b!tch vs dating a nice woman that is obese. The nice woman could be a good friend. The other woman could be an occasional booty call. LOL.
 GlacialEyez
Joined: 8/25/2015
Msg: 45
Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 5/7/2016 6:55:37 AM
Just be yourself. If your a jerk than be a jerk but you will pay for it, if your a nice guy be a nice guy and you will be rewarded. Remember in the end we all reap that which we sow. We ALL will be judged according to our works. Good day all. BE NICE :)
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 46
Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 5/7/2016 6:34:17 PM
I didn't read all the posts but what the OP implys that all the rich and well to do guys are abusive and just plain A$$es.
while all poor guys are the nice sweet guys. There are lots of nice good men who are also doing well. More then plenty of poor guys who beat and abuse the women they are with.
So why not look for a smart good guy who is doing well and still treat you well. Oh wait most of those guys are taken by the women who are also smart and doing well.
 LAEPF
Joined: 3/18/2016
Msg: 47
Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 5/8/2016 7:25:26 PM
I almost can't believe this is a question but I'm bored so I'll answer... Ambition, enthusiasm and goals in a poor man far outweigh some abusive rich guy. Women in abusive relationships did not get into them because the guy was rich and they don't stay with the ***hole just because they want a sugar daddy. They are victims of abuse and were most likely love bombed and groomed by their abuser in the beginning. Money has zero to do with why women get into or stay in abusive relationships. From a practical standpoint, it can become an issue when they are trying to get out. But to think a woman's only motivation for allowing herself to be abused is so that she can drive a nice car and get pedicures every week is ridiculous.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 48
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Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 5/9/2016 3:57:24 AM

So why not look for a smart good guy who is doing well and still treat you well. Oh wait most of those guys are taken by the women who are also smart and doing well.


Indeed. They're the needles in the haystack. Sometimes, one becomes available and then he has to be snatched up quickly before he's taken again. I'm only somewhat joking.

That's why this whole hard and fast rule of NEVER EVER dating somebody who hasn't been divorced for at least 5 years or some such thing really shouldn't be taken too seriously. If you meet one of these rare specimen, you should definitely give him a shot before you decide that he's too new on the market. (Hint: If he's still living in his soon to be ex-wife's basement, he's probably too new, but if he's been separated for a while and the ink is dry on his divorce decree, he might be ready).
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 49
Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 5/11/2016 1:39:11 PM

a smart good guy who is doing well and still treat you well.


I resemble that remark.
 mdbco32
Joined: 3/30/2016
Msg: 50
Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 5/11/2016 4:44:14 PM

That's why this whole hard and fast rule of NEVER EVER dating somebody who hasn't been divorced for at least 5 years or some such thing really shouldn't be taken too seriously.


If this is true and most women believe in the five year rule, I need to wait until 2019 to consider making myself available. Being unavailable for a year after has resulted in a Bachelor's Degree, an officer position at my American Legion Post, total financial stability, and many other things; however, I should take myself completely off the market given this ideology. It isn't a bad idea either as I can spend money otherwise used for dating on further educational needs, a home, and other goals I will reach.
 Like2dance
Joined: 4/13/2013
Msg: 51
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Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 5/11/2016 6:56:09 PM
Easy: Go with a sweet guy, high income. Ignore abusive low income guys.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 52
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Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 5/11/2016 8:45:18 PM

That's why this whole hard and fast rule of NEVER EVER dating somebody who hasn't been divorced for at least 5 years or some such thing really shouldn't be taken too seriously.

Heck, when I met my wife she hadn't even yet officially filed for divorce from her ex and had only been separated for about five or six months. We moved in together four months later and got married a year and a half after that.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 53
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Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 5/11/2016 8:47:03 PM
For the life of me, I will never understand the mentality behind the "would-you-rather-pick-A-or-B" posts. Here's the beautiful thing: the world isn't so neatly split up into two groups of people. I want the whole package and I won't settle for less. I'd rather stay single than settle for something less than what I want.
 LiliMarleen
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 54
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Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 5/12/2016 3:44:13 AM
I agree completely. These false dichotomies are moronic.

Not all successful guys are evil and abusive, and not all unsuccessful guys are sweet and loving. In fact, I'm finding that there's a correlation between being happy and being successful, and that applies to all areas of life. So, from what I've seen, the more successful people are generally much more pleasant to be around. Also, it takes social skills to be successful anywhere in life, and that's never a bad thing.

And - I also agree with NOT having hard and fast rules about how long people have to be divorced and whatever. It makes much more sense to pay attention to each individual's situation.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 55
Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 5/12/2016 6:25:25 AM
Attractive/Dumb/Broke vs. Fugly/Smart/Stable ?

Wait, what about the FUN/Crazy thing?
 eg0724
Joined: 4/19/2016
Msg: 56
Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 5/19/2016 8:34:30 PM
Sweet guy with low income.
I once went on one date with a man who worked as a Trial Attorney.
On paper, he checked the boxes- looks, career, etc. We went to this fancy restaurant & when the waiter/server brought our meals to the table, I said 'Thank you'. My date said, 'Don't bother saying thank you, that's his job'. He said it while the man was still present.
I could't believe my ears. I felt embarrassed. No second date. lol.
 moraima
Joined: 6/26/2005
Msg: 57
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Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 5/19/2016 8:58:01 PM
"I felt embarrassed. No second date. lol."

I hope you took the time to explain that basic manners requires please and thank you.
(I know - spoken like a Canadian or Brit, and I am both.)
 Perspektiv
Joined: 4/24/2016
Msg: 58
Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 5/20/2016 7:45:06 PM
I'd like to think most women would go with the nice guy, with the nice wallet O_o

I'm sorry, I don't think anyone would date a super sweet guy who was flat broke, and with zero ambition. Any woman saying so, is full of it, or has zero standards.

Its all about balance. Guy who can respect you, with ambition.

No, its not all about money. However, to say it doesn't factor into things at all, is BS.

"Look babe, can you spot me for dinner?", will get old to a woman, rather fast. "I'll pay for the tip, as long as its under a dollar"

If you're established, and they lose their job--fully different.

It would be like a guy saying, he doesn't look at the pictures on profiles. Ever. "I look at the quality of the woman behind the profile..."
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 59
Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 5/20/2016 8:31:07 PM


Guy who can respect you, with ambition.


Dude, try dating later on in life.

Do you know how many gals have told me that they had the 'provider thingy' with an ex that focused so much on providing that he was...dull? They didn't get enough attention on the home front.

See, these gals are looking for the Eat, Prey, Love experience.

So, yeah, ambition is something that requires balance.

YMMV

p.s.

I never ask for a 2nd date if she mentions an ex that was too focused on his career (i.e. ambitious).

Not looking to WOW a woman.
 Perspektiv
Joined: 4/24/2016
Msg: 60
 Perspektiv
Joined: 4/24/2016
Msg: 61
Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 5/21/2016 2:19:10 PM

Do you know how many gals have told me that they had the 'provider thingy' with an ex that focused so much on providing that he was...dull?


I never mentioned anything about not needing balance, with ambition. I was eluding to the fact that a woman dating a man without any ambition whatsoever, had low standards.

If he genuinely loves her, he'll move mountains for her. Will make time for her. If he never has time, she should be questioning where his heart is.
 BlasphemousBombshell
Joined: 11/19/2013
Msg: 62
Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 5/28/2016 7:11:07 PM
Honestly it depends HOW broke versus HOW abusive. I've lived both scenarios and neither was a bed of roses. One person drained every damn dime I had but was great in every other way. The other was a complete jerk but I didn't have to work 24-7 to support him.

Why HAVE to pick either crappy scenario? Why is finding a man who isn't a psycho and can actually hold a job so difficult?
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 63
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Sweet guy, low income OR abusive guy, high income
Posted: 5/28/2016 11:01:37 PM
Low income nice guys may one day be high income earners whilst the high income **stards can take a fall and just be **stards.

as for any five year rule, often the divorced person's relationship was well and truly over before the divorce actually happened and so being legally divorced for a year or two may not present any real problem. Rule No 1. There are no rules.
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