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 knopper3
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 93
Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?Page 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
I might have been intimidated at one time, but not anymore. My last girlfriend was "more successful" than me by most people's definition. She had a great job that paid her loads more money than I make. But she had no clue how to manage her money. She was always broke and in debt and had absolutely nothing to show for it. Even though I didn't make near as much money as her, I was the one with the money in the relationship. So now I know there's more to being successful in life than making a lot of money. You also have to have your crap together.
 WonkaBar
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 94
Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/5/2006 9:04:02 PM
In my experience, men are not intimidated by women who are more successful.

However, it is possible they feel that it's the *women* who have a problem with it, and just don't bother.

I mean, from reading these forums and other personal experience, I get the feeling women expect men to either make as much as they do, or more - and if they don't, they're a burden somehow.
 fish-slayer
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 95
Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/6/2006 12:26:17 AM
You are a hoot ice princess LOL
 juicyfruit_tn
Joined: 4/14/2006
Msg: 97
Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/8/2006 8:38:08 AM
ha ha ha! Good one! Now Frrosty is a man with self esteem!
 juicyfruit_tn
Joined: 4/14/2006
Msg: 98
Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/8/2006 8:50:48 AM
Poor, poor man! you are missing out on some mighty fine woman with that kind of thinking. I am a very successful two career woman. My kids are raised and I have do not need a man with money. He does, however need to be able to pay his own bills and have a little extra for his hobbies what ever they may be. The terms Successfull, snob and high maintenance do not go hand in hand.
 EycePrincess
Joined: 3/21/2006
Msg: 99
Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/8/2006 4:39:25 PM
You go, juicyfruit! Way to be an example for hard-working women all across America!
 Trooth
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 101
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Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/8/2006 5:17:52 PM

Poor, poor man! you are missing out on some mighty fine woman with that kind of thinking. I am a very successful two career woman. My kids are raised and I have do not need a man with money. He does, however need to be able to pay his own bills and have a little extra for his hobbies what ever they may be. The terms Successfull, snob and high maintenance do not go hand in hand.


Sounds fair enough for dating, but definitely not marriage. When you get married though your money and his money become both of yours. Women who are successful seem much more possessive about "their" money. Most men have no problem working and taking their paycheck home to their wife. I do believe that it is better to have 3 accounts for a husband/wife. One for the shared expenses, and then personal accounts for each person regarudless if it is a single income or dual income household. But regaurdless of how you feel about it, when you are married or if you are in a common law marriage it is 50/50.
 EycePrincess
Joined: 3/21/2006
Msg: 102
Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/8/2006 6:50:03 PM
Trooth-

I think that's a load of crap! Did you ever think that the women who ARE possessive about their money is because the man involved is a freakin' bum?

I was married, we had 2 accounts. One for our business, one for personal. We both deposited into each account. Incidental purchases never had to be discussed. If one of us wanted to make a larger purchase, we talked about it first. What was mine was his, and vice versa. That's what marriage is all about. Not who makes what, and putting one/the other on an allowance. That's absurd! Because I made twice as much as my husband didn't mean I would limit what he could spend, or indicate that I was allowed to spend twice as much as him on myself, because that's what I brought in! In fact, his expenses were about 3 times what mine were! I never said a word!

Every situation is different. I think men on the whole really DO have issues with a woman who is the bread winner. Society still has that cloud hanging over us.
 uh_oh
Joined: 3/29/2006
Msg: 103
Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/8/2006 6:56:52 PM
I would say a lot of men are. I wouldn’t get discouraged though. Just be aware that many men have been socialized with traditional stereotypical values (men are supposed to be the "bread winners; women the "home makers.") Even some modern liberal guys feel this way! Getting involved with a woman who makes more than they do will make them feel uneasy. Their friends and family may not help matters either. They may be actively supporting these stereotypes and will apply conscious and unconscious pressure for him to associate with the "right kind" of woman.

You also have to consider the power imbalance it creates. For some reason, women don’t seem to mind the power imbalance differing incomes create. Men do. Men tend to be more Power focused, even if their forms of power are crude–like owning a supped up car, or growing big thick biceps–the desire to be in control and appear powerful is much more prevalent in men. Many men just can’t handle the perception of being weaker than a woman (and income is a form of strength/power. Don’t kid yourself. Money matters.)

Then there’s just the tension differing levels of income creates. Think of what happens when one person wants to go to an expensive restaurant and the other is so broke they can’t afford McDonalds. You may say, well, I’ll pay our way, but the fact is this chipping in will create a feeling of obligation on his part to be more conciliatory and accommodating when it comes to differing choices you both want to make. This phenomena is just one of the reasons I think people tend to date within their socio-economic class. If a person doesn’t have the matching income of their prospective partner, they MUST offer something else–above average physical attractiveness, superior charisma, exceptional emotional skills–that balances out the exchange.


I think the advice that guy gave you was well meaning, but misguided. Don’t pretend to be something you’re not. All you’re going to do is end up doing is attracting men with conflicting values. Be true to yourself and just focus on marketing yourself better and qualifying the men you meet faster and more effectively.
 marshw
Joined: 8/9/2005
Msg: 105
Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/8/2006 9:34:45 PM
If a woman isn't my equal or better on some level (professionally or intellect) we're not dating. I am intimidated by nothing! There is nothing to fear except fear itself.
 Trooth
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 106
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Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/8/2006 10:37:06 PM
I think that's a load of crap! Did you ever think that the women who ARE possessive about their money is because the man involved is a freakin' bum?


That may or may not be the case, but it does not change the fact that those women who ARE possessive, are possessive. Just like the post that I was replying to stated, she insisted that her man needed to make enough money to pay his own bills, and finance his own hobbies. To me that communicates while I do make good money, I am not willing to share it with you. In fact your whole statement makes the point for me. If the man is not paying his own way and looks to a woman for support you classify him as a freakin' bum. Granted some men are lazy and don't want to work, and will search for a woman who will take care of them completely. Now lets change things a little bit. Not too long ago single income homes were the norm, and the man was normally the only source for income. The woman would do the domestic duties of keeping a good house, and parenting the children if there were any, but the fact remains that the man paid for all of her bills, all of her hobbies, along with everything else. Not only would the woman have not been considered a freakin' bum, but the man had no problem with these roles. And still yet today most men would never consider a woman who stayed at home a lazy bum, nor would he dare tell her that if she wanted something she had to get off her butt and go to work to pay her bills and her hobbies. The man wanted to be able to afford the nice things to give to his wife. I don't see that type of mindset in successful women. I see the communciation of I earn my money, you better earn your money, and there is no way I am willing to support a man.

As I discussed in another thread about dating an unemployed guy, most women will not even consider dating an unemployed man. In the latest thread they were calling the person a loser, irresponsible, had no ambition, etc. Most men will not think twice about dating an unemployed woman. I believe the only people who actually look down on domestic housewives are the Women's libbers who believe that it is a waste. There isn't exactly an equality here, what I see is that women still expect men to fulfill their traditional roles, and a role switch is completely out of the question (in other words domestic house-husband, woman breadwinner).

This is all based on what I see and hear from forums, articles, tv, etc. I perceive women to be more possessive about their money than men are, and if you think about the traditional man, we are raised with the perception that we will supply for everyone in the house so we know this ahead of time. Women on the other hand are taught to be independent, and take care of themselves, not to need a man. Being taught to be independent is a lot different from being taught to be a provider don't you think?


I was married, we had 2 accounts. One for our business, one for personal. We both deposited into each account. Incidental purchases never had to be discussed. If one of us wanted to make a larger purchase, we talked about it first. What was mine was his, and vice versa. That's what marriage is all about. Not who makes what, and putting one/the other on an allowance. That's absurd! Because I made twice as much as my husband didn't mean I would limit what he could spend, or indicate that I was allowed to spend twice as much as him on myself, because that's what I brought in! In fact, his expenses were about 3 times what mine were! I never said a word!


Well I was suggesting havin an allowance for both of the people involved, not one. I am not quite sure how you do your budgeting, but I budget down to the last penny of my paycheck, and I do have a category for "personal cash" and it consists of what is left over after all of my bills and expected expenses and my savings. If you want to call it an allowance that is fine, it fits nicely into my budget and I don't feel demeaned at all. I understand your point about marriage being a partnership, but you do realize that you assumed that I was saying that the 2 personal accounts would be just for the money I made and the money she made, so whoever made more money got more money. I never said that once, nor did I even imply that. And while you did say that marriage was a partnership you also made sure to note that you made twice the money he did, and he had 3 times the bills. I mean honestly, take a look, you made a whole thread about this because it is a big issue for you.


Every situation is different. I think men on the whole really DO have issues with a woman who is the bread winner. Society still has that cloud hanging over us.


In my humble opinion you are making this into an issue. Most guys don't want to talk about finances anyways. From a male point of view I don't discuss how much money I am making with my friends. Guys who do brag about how much money they make are typically seen as shallow jerks, and typically do it to make the comparison that the man with the highest net value is a winner and those with the lowest are losers. Sharing what you do for a living is fine and good conversation. Telling people how much your income is, or how much you spend in expenses, or what you drive, how many houses you have etc makes you look pretentious and judgemental of everyone else. There are instances in this thread where you are openly discussing money with guys you are meeting and looking to date. You even posted a teacher's salary that you had dated. If I am just meeting you and you are telling me about your position at work, flying between your two homes, and how successful you are, it isn't intimidation I am feeling. I would describe it more as losing all interest in you as a friend or a romance based on the perception that you feel somehow superior because of your career and wealth.

You can judge me based on my salary, but that doesn't tell the story. My dad was born into a relatively poor family. When he was 30 he started his own business and put the house on the line. He worked 60-80 hour weeks, my mother did the bookkeeping, and the owned the business 50/50. He sold his business last year for 7 figures, which will pay for their retirement, he employed 30+ people and made very good money while he owned his business. They have a house in West Virginia which is absolutely beautiful and a bit extravagant. They own a house and a condo in South Carolina. The point I am making is there is no way your job or wealth is going to intimidate me, nor does it really impress me because I am used to it being around people with a lot of money and high positions as well as people in poverty and chronicly unemployed. A job and net value does not make a person and does not impress me, nor do I make a value judgement on those who are not as fortunate. Your preconception that your career and wealth is intimidating to those who aren't as successful as you is the problem. You seem like a smart woman with a level head, but you certainly are communicating to me that you are preoccupied with your status and feel that few people are up to your level of achievement. Please don't read this as a personal attack, I am just trying to let you know what is coming across to me based on what you are saying.
 Trooth
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 107
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Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/9/2006 5:17:59 AM

I dont think you can class a woman at home looking after children a bum!!!!
That is their job, cleaning, nursing, keeping the house nice, shopping etc..
(Yeah like they really sit on their backsides all day...) when the guy comes home from work, the meal has majically cooked and placed itself on the table..lucky you huh???


I think you may have misunderstood what I was saying. I in no way would call a housewife a lazy bum, and a man who stayed at home and took care of the house and kids, did the cooking etc should be given the same respect a woman is. However the posts in the thread state quite the opposite, a man who stays at home and is not bringing in an income is considered a loser, and my original comment was direct at the idea that an independant woman is fine to expect any man to pay his own bills, and for his own hobbies etc. Huge double standard based on gender, and this is one that is perpetuated by the thinking that an independant woman retains her independance when she gets married.


The scenario alot of the women are referring to here, is independant women that earn money, and sometimes more successfull than alot of guys...


What is the issue? Is it that new of an idea that a single woman can be independant? Is it that much of a surprise that a woman is successful in her career and makes good money? Maybe it is my age, (I am 29 born in 76) but it doesn't surprise me when a woman is independant, nor does it surprise me if she makes good money and has a good career. It isn't a novel idea. I am always speaking out against the guys that claim that it is hard to find intelligent women. Women are as intelligent as men, and I hardly think that my ability to pee while standing up makes me anymore suitied to succeed in life, nor does the extra body mass somehow make me more intelligent. It is perfectly normal for a woman to be a coworker and do the same job as I do, it is perfectly normal for a woman to be my boss, and it is perfectly normal for a woman to pick whatever career field she wants to go into.

Now here is where I take a risk at offending some people or having some people completely disagree with me. If it is normal for a woman to be able to have a career, and make her own money and be independant, there isn't anything special about an independant woman or a successful woman. Just like it isn't surprising for a man to have a successful career or to be independant.


If they have not got children, then they will have more money for these souped up cars
and stuff that you so pointed out with a itch in ur voice!!!!
If we earn it, why not????


And you misunderstood the point I was making about that. There is nothing wrong with having nice things. However when you start pointing to all of your assets and luxeries while making the comparisson of how much more successful you are than someone else, you come off as a person who places a person's value based on their net value. There are people who feel that way, and yes Jesus and Gahndi were two of the most worthless people of their times. Ever here a man talk about all of his money, the house in the hamptons, the yaht, the cars, the rolexes etc. When we hear these people bragging about what they own and the lavish life they lead we tend to consider that bragging, and it isn't a person we want to be around.


There are guys that take advantage, and if they want someone to treat them like a child
go back home to mummy!!!!!!!!
theres plenty of them out there,


gold digger
n. Informal

A woman who seeks money and expensive gifts from men.

I think the dictionary should be updated to say a person who seeks money and expensive gifts from a person of the opposite sex, but the real point is this is absolutely nothing new. When you are successful and have money you will atract people who are attracted to money. You have to be able to figure out who is a "gold digger" without carrying a prejudice that all people are gold diggers.


And if your happy with someone, wether you earn more or not..
you talk and come to an arrangement


I don't quite get it here. If you are single and dating someone, you don't act like you are 50/50 partners. When you get married you become 50/50 partners based on law. Assets and liabilities alike are shared 50/50. Yes an engaged couple will probably join their finances and view at as a partnership, but outside of engagement and marriage (or common law marriage), there is no reason to just enter into a partnership.


as eyce princess said..."we had a joint account... that is a great idea and if the guys not after her money, he will think so to...


Like I said earlier when you are married all of your finances are 50/50 from the start of the marriage. It is a lot easier to keep track of money and budgets if you have separate accounts. One account for each person is a very good way to track personal expenses, stay within a personal budget, and beyond that when you have two people making everyday transactions an account there is a higher chance for mistakes. It is a personal preferernce, and can allow for more flexible spending while staying in budget. A married couples income no matter where it comes from is the household income, it belongs to both people equally, the expenses and liabilities are also shared equally. That is what a partnership is all about, that is how the government views a couple's finances, and I have never once suggested otherwise.



The thing is, us independant women have got where we are now, through savvy, hard work etc.
why shouldnt we keep our investments in mind and look after our pennys?


Well if you are not married then yes that is what you are supposed to do and how you should view your finances. While you are dating your finances is no one else's business but yours. Now if you are trying to apply that point of view into a marriage, then nope. Yes there are some people who are rich and will write up a prenup to protect themselves from gold diggers. But in a divorce only assets and income occurred during the marriage, and libablities and expenses occurred during the marriage are considered shared. If you want to write up a prenup and go through all that, that is up to you and your partner, and if you are protecting assets in case of a divorce I can understand that. I would wary of someone who goes into a marriage professing a partnership until death do us part, but has a hard problem letting go of their indepedance. But once again this really isn't an issue that only independant successful women face. Men come into marriages with issues such as these all the time.



its not always the woman that runs off with the house, spesh if its our house to start off with.


Really though, this isn't a male/female thing. While it isn't always the woman taking the house etc, the vast majority of the time it is, and these are issues that independant men have had to consider for years. Why would it be any different for an indepentant woman?



I dont look at guys i date and vet them, I pay my own way.. but if they start taking the pee,
then im off... but each to their own...


Their is nothing wrong with having that mindset. And honestly the best way to avoid becoming a sugar momma or sugar daddy is not to spend a lot of your money on someone you are dating. Don't even offer to start paying someones bills, make loans, or anything like that, you will come off as trying to buy a person's love. Beyond that a person who spends a lot of money will attract the gold diggers. As far as paying for dates goes if I ask someone out I will pay for the date because I am the one who invited them. In the case of being a couple and having frequent dates, I prefer to take turns paying for the dates, go dutch or do whatever. But the biggest thing is I will never make finances a big deal or a major issue, especially with someone I am just getting to know, because it doesn't matter. Money comes and goes, I will make more. If you feel the need to layout your financial situation, expectations, and rules of conduct on a first or second or third date, and it isn't going over well, don't think it is because you are a woman, it is because you are making a huge social snafu and the more important you make it sound, the more petty, cheap,or greedy you will sound to someone who is just getting to know you.

Beyond that asking a man if your job and monetary success intimidates him solely because you are doing better than he is will come off exactly how it sounds. Telling your date about all of your assets and stuff you own comes off the exact same way it does when a male date goes on and on about all of his possessions. And the beleif that an independant woman has made a huge accomplishment where as an independant man is what is expected is the type of thinking that keeps sexism an issue.
 thecbguy
Joined: 4/17/2006
Msg: 109
Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/12/2006 7:03:40 AM

I'm literally dying to know...

Are men intimidated by women who are more successful than they are? I've found myself having to downplay what I do for a living so I can avoid uncomfortable situations! I've worked hard to get to where I am in life! Why should I have to conceal who I am/what I do so I don't bruise some guy's ego?

You'd think a guy would be happy to know there are women out there not looking to be "taken care of".

I literally had a guy make this comment to me the other day:

"You should really delete your profession in your profile. It's intimidating for most men, and other men probably just assume you make a lot of money and are only after you for that reason".

Are you kidding me? Please tell me this isn't the consensus!


I would like to find a woman that could intimidate me, whether it would be successful in a career or otherwise. I seem to attract the opposite, the needy, whining, lets get married and you support me type that can't hold a conversation beyond the words "Hi" and "Hello".

When I have dated "successful" women, I found that they were too full of themselves to hold my attention. I told them this, tossed a few bucks on the table to pay for the coffee or drinks, and went on my merry way.

There is a difference in being successful and being humble, and just being a plain a$$ about being successful. Not everyone likes having it rubbed in their noses every minute of every day. It wears thin.

If a woman is successful, she damn well better be laid back, easy going and willing to get dirty (as in dirt ... mud ... whatever) when we're hiking, off-roading, just doing goofy stuff .... and better be LOW MAINTENANCE! A weekend with me isn't going to be spent in the SPA, but may be spent roughing it in the mountains, hiking a river, or just digging in the garden. Not to stereotype .... but most "successful" women that I know, are married to their careers, and have been very high maintenance.

As for what "COO" means, I thought you were referring to the sounds you would make while laying out in the country, under the stars, listening to the bull frogs, just cuddled with someone special (ooooooooops ..... my bad!).
 LusciousLitigator
Joined: 11/13/2005
Msg: 110
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Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/12/2006 7:43:03 AM
Hmmm...I am having the same problem. I intimidate men, sometimes I downright scare them. Howver, I don't think it is only because I am more successful, hold a better job or make more money than most men. I think it is the underlying personality traits that drove me to success that are the true source of the intimidation. I am speaking of the independance, the drive, the strong personality, the wit, the sarcasm, the attitude (when it's called for of course), the discipline...type A all the way baby!

I always found it quite ironic and I'll admit with an added twinge of bitterness that men in the same boat as I do not have this problem, in fact, these traits work for them in finding and sustaining relationships. When I was in law school my male collegues were generally never at a loss for a date, be it the check out girl at the supermarket, the girl who sits next to him in Contracts, the school secretary, even their bloody relatives (ew, I know)...But some of us women had problems and continue to do so today. We as successful woman are not nearly as coveted as our male counterparts as life-mates. It is slightly discouraging, although I hold onto the hope that one day someone will be brave enough to appreciate these things, or perhaps he will much more 'successful' than me.

Speaking about successful, women's and men's standards of successful do vary, I may be successful according to most men's standards, but not my own and many other woman because I do not have a significant other in my life. I have accomplished so much in my life thus far and I still look back to all my achievements with a hint of sadness because I did not have that special someone to share it with. Societal gender roles have contributed to me sometimes feeling it is all worthless without a man, that I nothing without a man. I know this is not true but I can't help feeling that way sometimes...*sigh*...

Chin up, he'll walk into you life one day...and mine:)

 kr8ztwin
Joined: 7/29/2004
Msg: 111
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Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/12/2006 7:58:20 AM
Is this where i go to find a sugar moma?

I wouldn't be intimidated at all, unless she started barking orders all the time or making me wear funny outfits at dinner parties.
 dcharles
Joined: 5/15/2006
Msg: 112
Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/21/2006 11:20:58 AM
It looks unfair to me to single out bum men, or stereotype men as bums. Quite an assumption. Both sexes have their special cases. (Or maybe there are more than two now.) And I just don't believe society hangs anything over anybody. It seems to me a personal issue between two people. That should be enough. Many men are intimidated by many women for are huge variety of reasons. Of course they are. And the same is true of women.
 thegreatrockyhill
Joined: 12/26/2005
Msg: 113
Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/21/2006 5:43:23 PM

Completely false! If I make more than enough money to pay the bills - who cares what you make?!?

Believing that my "Mr. Right" is at an equal caliber as I am in the career world is reaching. And who cares if he is/isn't? I have a friend who is one of the smartest and interesting people I know, and he happens to be a teacher. He makes 35K/year. (We dated, it didn't work for other reasons.)

So I guess the point is that it didn't matter how much he made. In my case, I'm looking for someone who is on the same level intellectually. I don't think how much a person makes comes even close to determining that.

By the way, I just read your profile... You're articulate, you can spell, know how to use punctuation properly... Not exactly someone who seems to be unintelligent. I think the fact you work in a warehouse is irrelevant.


Thank you for that.

Hey, if a successful woman wants to date me, and I'm attracted to her, I'm not turning her down. :)
 867love
Joined: 3/16/2006
Msg: 114
Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/21/2006 6:15:39 PM
i really dont think you should down play yourself. be as honest as you can on your profile, that should weed out anyone who would feel intimidated by a successful woman. and attract a closer match. hopefully a smart gal like you should be able to sort out anyone who is genuine or just looking for a free ride.
 lkmichguy
Joined: 5/4/2006
Msg: 116
Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/26/2006 10:33:50 AM
I don't think meeting someone who has created a good "situation" for themselves is intimidating...but keep in mind that people have different ideas about what "successful" actually means...perhaps you're misinterpreting what people are actually thinking. But goodness you're a cutie...:)
 Pragmatic
Joined: 11/24/2005
Msg: 117
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Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/26/2006 12:08:18 PM
If that success comes without a nasty ego.... Not at all intimidated! Why should we be?

To be in a relationship with a person who is successdful and probably satisfied with her accomplishments, hence no "unfulfilled stresses" can only bolster a relationship aire.

as far as I'm concerned "Good For You Girl!!!!!!!!!"
 knoxjbp
Joined: 11/14/2005
Msg: 118
Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/26/2006 12:31:08 PM

Hmmm...I am having the same problem. I intimidate men, sometimes I downright scare them. Howver, I don't think it is only because I am more successful, hold a better job or make more money than most men. I think it is the underlying personality traits that drove me to success that are the true source of the intimidation. I am speaking of the independance, the drive, the strong personality, the wit, the sarcasm, the attitude (when it's called for of course), the discipline...type A all the way baby!

I always found it quite ironic and I'll admit with an added twinge of bitterness that men in the same boat as I do not have this problem, in fact, these traits work for them in finding and sustaining relationships. When I was in law school my male collegues were generally never at a loss for a date, be it the check out girl at the supermarket, the girl who sits next to him in Contracts, the school secretary, even their bloody relatives (ew, I know)...But some of us women had problems and continue to do so today. We as successful woman are not nearly as coveted as our male counterparts as life-mates. It is slightly discouraging, although I hold onto the hope that one day someone will be brave enough to appreciate these things, or perhaps he will much more 'successful' than me.

Speaking about successful, women's and men's standards of successful do vary, I may be successful according to most men's standards, but not my own and many other woman because I do not have a significant other in my life. I have accomplished so much in my life thus far and I still look back to all my achievements with a hint of sadness because I did not have that special someone to share it with. Societal gender roles have contributed to me sometimes feeling it is all worthless without a man, that I nothing without a man. I know this is not true but I can't help feeling that way sometimes...*sigh*...

Chin up, he'll walk into you life one day...and mine:)


I suppose it's difficult to find a decent man when you limit yourself to canadians.

p.s. I'm not laughing at you; i'm laughing with you.
 alone2soon
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 120
Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/26/2006 4:02:28 PM
Sounds exciting


..I intimidate men, sometimes I downright scare them.


Intimidated is not quite the word you bring to mind
 captnjimbo
Joined: 2/11/2006
Msg: 121
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Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/26/2006 4:12:42 PM
Just what are you considering more successful? Having more $, or the ability to make more $. Could it be having a bigger boat? There's always a bigger one coming into port. How about having a better sex life, being a better cook? May it be typing more words per minute than another? There's always another who is faster and more accurate. I am under the impression that a person's worth is measured by the size of one's heart, not the size of one's wallet.
 bigsmile
Joined: 4/25/2005
Msg: 122
Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/26/2006 5:45:52 PM
Only if you are the type to constantly bring it to their attention ---- well and everyone elses.
 EycePrincess
Joined: 3/21/2006
Msg: 123
Are Men Intimidated By A Woman Who Is More Successful?
Posted: 5/26/2006 6:03:05 PM
It's the simple things that can intimidate a person...

Perhaps I suggest dinner at a restaurant that's "more expensive than average". Maybe the man feels uncomfortable, because it's out of his budget, so I offer to pay. I mean, why shouldn't I be able to eat where I want, if I'm offering to pay for it? It seems like women have no problem falling into this role when the tables are turned. Men seems to be put off by this. They'd rather eat at McDonald's, if that's all their budget can afford, than let me pay for a dinner at a nice restaurant! (I'm overexaggerating of course, but you get the point.)

As for how I measure success...

It's a combination of things. Have goals in mind, and actually be working towards them. Being financially stable, and not pulling your hair out over how you're going to pay the bills this month, or the fact that it will take you 30+ years to pay off your credit card debt. It's not about your "net worth" this very second, but where your future is going to take you.

In my case it can be as simple as comparing how many cars/homes I have to another. These types of things come out in the open rather quickly, and sometimes when you have "MORE" of something than someone else, this either turns into jealousy or intimidation. It also seems as if society still makes it awkward for a man to be with a woman who makes more, has more, or is more successful.

I tried to be open-minded about the men I date. What they do/have wasn't something I paid attention to. I went on 2 dates with a warehouse clerk. He told me he, "Liked have a sugar momma". Are you kidding me? So, you get the point! It seems difficult to find an equal, and I'm not having much luck dating men who aren't on the same career path as me either.
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