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 4annabelle
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 114
Why won't you talk with married men???Page 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Friends would be fine, but there is not a married man alive who wants a woman 'friend'!

If they are married and on a dating site you can bet your sweet bippy that they are after a roll in the sack! Make no mistake about that!!
 iL0veSh0es
Joined: 9/5/2007
Msg: 115
Why won't you talk with married men???
Posted: 11/5/2007 10:33:30 PM

If your profile says 'Looking for Friend', and 'Must not be Married' is not enabled, you shouldn't have a problem talking to married men looking for some friendship with the opposite sex.


My profile says "looking for friends". I think friendship is the beginning to any relationship, and if it develops into something more, than be it. It doesn't mean I'm looking for married men to chat with. AND umm isn't this a dating site? AND you being jealous? Well you should be, but I think you both are just playing with fire. If I ever get married or find that sweetheart, I'm not going to be emailing "friends" off a dating site while my man is getting jealous over it. In fact I probably wont even have a profile set up, or maybe one for these great forums, that we would both have access to. Maybe you should do that, if there is nothing to hide...
 cncgandolf
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 116
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Why won't you talk with married men???
Posted: 11/5/2007 11:28:28 PM
"If they are married and on a dating site you can bet your sweet bippy that they are after a roll in the sack! Make no mistake about that!!"

That has been my experience. Now, I don't necessarily mean they are looking to cheat on their wives physically. Some are here to cheat on their wives emotionally. Men worry about women cheating physically cause they don't want to risk her getting pregnant by someone else. Women worry about men cheating emotionally because it risks his not being there for the 18 or more years it takes to raise that child.

There don't actually have to be children - that is a reaction on the instinctual level. If he emotionally attaches to someone else - even as a female friend - then he won't be available.

If a person wants "friends" they should go hang out on sites dedicated to people with their hobbies/activities in common. The common element of this site is dating/relationships. I already have lots of friends associated with my hobbies/activities. The males I strictly see in group settings for the hobbies we have in common. I'm never alone with a married man. That is a matter of respect to my fellow women. Nothing to do with any male; all to do with how I treat females.

Why would a female cheater get more hits then a male? Women don't like cheating males and males do like women who cheat ?? Wow! That would be a sweeping generality.

Gandi
 iL0veSh0es
Joined: 9/5/2007
Msg: 117
Why won't you talk with married men???
Posted: 11/5/2007 11:33:43 PM
^^^^^^^^

Some are here to cheat on their wives emotionally.

Sad but true cncgandolf. Always much worse than physical....
 itsmeCharlie
Joined: 9/20/2005
Msg: 121
Why won't you talk with married men???
Posted: 11/7/2007 11:18:21 AM
I have no problems chatting with a married man as long as he is aware of the boundaries. It will be chat only and I have no intention of becoming a playmate. There are sites geared for meetings of a more physical nature and you can find plenty of playmates there. If you just want to correspond with and make new friends, then fine. If you want to cheat on your wife to add some spice to your ho hum life... then get out of my sandbox and take your toys with you.
 **Rapunzel**
Joined: 11/4/2006
Msg: 123
Why won't you talk with married men???
Posted: 11/7/2007 7:25:53 PM
I don't have time for or any interest in "email buddies". To me there are many other ways to obtain friendships with the opposite sex, than to be on a dating site. I just assume that people on dating sites are either looking for dates or sex... no matter what they claim.
 dave1234
Joined: 11/7/2004
Msg: 124
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Why won't you talk with married men???
Posted: 11/9/2007 2:10:33 PM
Should women who have children not be talking with women who are expecting? Should employed people not be speaking with someone who is searching for a job?

Why should someone who has a partner not be speaking with those who are searching for a partner?

The purpose of these threads, according to POF admin, is to offer suggestions/tips/advice concerning dating and relationships. It only makes sense that people who are in LTR probably have good suggestions/tips/advice to offer.

If one is worried about a married/partnered person looking for sex why don't they wait and see if that is the case? Besides, don't people have to meet in order to have sex? Being hundreds if not thousands of miles apart the chance of sex happening is nil.

Another point people mention is being devoted to ones partner. If being on a computer dating site is ignoring ones partner what about watching TV or doing anything else besides focusing solely on the partner?
 ob5idian
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 125
Why won't you talk with married men???
Posted: 11/9/2007 3:11:39 PM
Wow, what an incredible amount of prejudgment going on.

As a not married but not yet single guy, I originally came to PoF searching for.. stories, advice, and the like (there is a "Relationships" forum after all!). I stayed. I eventually put up a profile looking for FRIENDS because that's what I'm interested in at this stage in my life.

If I meet a married woman who is also interested in being FRIENDS, I will not automatically assume she wants to drone on about her rotten husband, or cheat, or have a threesome, or what have you. I will talk to her and see if she's friendly!

If she's more than friendly, I will back off. If she starts going on about her rotten husband, I will back off. Hell, if my gut tells me something funny is going on, I will back off (spent too many years not trusting my gut)!

Why make it more complicated than that?

That said, if the emotional component of such a relationship grows to the point where one has becomes the other's emotional center, and there is a marriage involved.. THAT gets ugly. So I'm not saying that caution is a bad thing.. I'm just surprised at the massive prejudgement that ALL married men or women MUST be here under false pretenses.
 Scintillating_Angel
Joined: 5/2/2006
Msg: 126
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Why won't you talk with married men???
Posted: 11/9/2007 3:22:48 PM

As a not married but not yet single guy,

er, just what exactly does that mean???? Such a bizarre statement.

Yes, there is prejudgment - it's the way the world is made. I am not fond of it, but it's simply an unfortunate fact of life.

As to the rest of it, the equation is very very very simple: Married = married; separated = married; divorced = single.

Then you have those who have significant, committed relationships. Or those who have relationships where only ONE of the parties is committed to the relationship and the other one is out "banging around" on dating sites, in bars, in coffee shops, or wherever. Nonetheless, we tend to make our value judgments. Some of us stick to our own values, some of us are pliable and accept the values of others.

did all that make much sense? Jeez, I have had too long a day today. Yall have a wonderful weekend
 Indigo rose
Joined: 3/17/2007
Msg: 127
Why won't you talk with married men???
Posted: 11/9/2007 4:04:31 PM
I would talk to married men but it is always the same ole crap..."my wife doesn't understand me" " I haven't had sex with my wife in months...years...decades" " I sleep on the couch...garage...porch..neighbor" " I just stay with her for the kids... dogs...cars...houses..maid service.."
 marissais3
Joined: 9/19/2007
Msg: 128
Why won't you talk with married men???
Posted: 11/9/2007 4:09:44 PM
I guess I don't understand why a married couple would be on a dating site? Hence..this is a dating site no matter how you choose to manipulate your definition.
 MetalVixxn
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 129
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Why won't you talk with married men???
Posted: 11/9/2007 4:23:59 PM
I've chatted with married men. My profile says friends so why not?
I'll tell ya why not... every SINGLE time they end up sending me very inappropriate emails. I won't be the online girl who allows someone else's hubby to live out his virtual fantasies.
 »¤Cät§ëÿ매«
Joined: 10/9/2007
Msg: 130
Why won't you talk with married men???
Posted: 11/9/2007 4:27:21 PM
I've actually made a couple of online friends that are married...never would've thought so, but I did. They didn't bother talking about their marriages to me, they were just genuinely fun people to talk to, and that doesn't bother me at all. For the mostpart though, the married folk aren't looking for 'friends' no matter what guise they try to hide under. I always say i'm not interested in married men...yet the ones I speak of took the time to write back and continued speaking without being disrespectful. It's possible...but not likely to find a friend in a married person........... The biggest thing to remember OP, is that most of the people that are on here seeking some sort of relationship, have gone through the painstaking process of ending a serious relationship or marriage...and many have tossed a cheater...
 ob5idian
Joined: 4/25/2007
Msg: 132
Why won't you talk with married men???
Posted: 11/9/2007 5:21:44 PM


As a not married but not yet single guy,


er, just what exactly does that mean???? Such a bizarre statement.


I don't find it bizarre, but maybe its just a terminology thing. My wife and I are no longer what I would consider 'married'. We are working towards separation, not reconciliation. But until a certain amount of time passes and certain papers can be filed with the courts of the land, I am not yet technically single (divorced) either. It is an ugly grey area, as can be seen by the numerous threads about "separated" people.

For that matter, are divorced people considered "single", or "divorced"? Does "single" encompass all the possible scenarios in which one is legally unattached?

Pardon my ignorance but I've been married for the last 12 years and haven't been paying attention.

Angel, I guess I just haven't been burned enough yet by all those married women looking for "friends" that are secretly craving the emotional intimacy their husbands can't or aren't providing. Give me a few years, then maybe I'll be suitably cynical.
 PurpleCrayon~
Joined: 9/26/2007
Msg: 134
Why won't you talk with married men???
Posted: 11/13/2007 10:41:55 PM
I don't talk to em cuz got nutin in common with em.
 Trynafindmiiluv5
Joined: 11/11/2007
Msg: 135
Why won't you talk with married men???
Posted: 11/14/2007 8:40:16 PM
Well honestly a married man in my opinion should not be on a site like this anyways. But I would rather not speak to a married man because I personally would not want my husband on websites like this talking to women. And I dont like to do things I wouldnt want done to me... Thats just my opinion....
 vahbsc
Joined: 1/5/2006
Msg: 136
Why won't you talk with married men???
Posted: 11/14/2007 8:42:09 PM
add a picture and see what happens
 OneManB4You
Joined: 9/19/2007
Msg: 137
Why won't you talk with married men???
Posted: 11/15/2007 6:22:53 AM
Look, someone needs to tell you their entire story and then you can make your decision on whether to speak with them or not! I made a choice to have no friends on this site and to just correspond with a few people that share my same feelings , interests and thoughts. I have fun on here and treat people the same way that they treat me-I also believe in the old adage that you treat people in-kind.

So, stay away from the married men as they are usually confused or just cheating on their spouses.



Good luck


One man's opinion
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 139
Why won't you talk with married men???
Posted: 11/15/2007 7:05:33 AM

just assume that people on dating sites are either looking for dates or sex... no matter what they claim.


Hey I'm looking for dates AND sex! lol
 GrillMasterWanted
Joined: 10/5/2007
Msg: 140
Why won't you talk with married men???
Posted: 11/15/2007 7:24:10 AM
I think after being hit on by a bunch of married men, its just a turn off. Where is that relationship going? Personally I prefer a monogamous relationship, which is not possible with a married guy.
 Bethlet
Joined: 4/22/2007
Msg: 141
Why won't you talk with married men???
Posted: 11/15/2007 7:26:03 AM
I don't have time for or any interest in "email buddies". To me there are many other ways to obtain friendships with the opposite sex, than to be on a dating site. I just assume that people on dating sites are either looking for dates or sex... no matter what they claim.

(stolen from someone elses' post...and agreed with).

Also because talking with someone just to hear their head rattle is boring.
 meinschwantz
Joined: 11/2/2007
Msg: 142
Why won't you talk with married men???
Posted: 11/18/2007 8:53:08 AM
you do like to **** dont you married or not a good oral is what you ove
 chellaruse
Joined: 10/31/2007
Msg: 144
Why won't you talk with married men???
Posted: 11/18/2007 11:39:23 AM
Hi mjr150, if my spouse or s/o was on this site getting messages from single women or from men I wouldn't like it either. Smells like trouble to me. There are other places to make pen pals on the internet other than dating sites, so I would be really watching over my shoulder.

Why wouldn't I talk to a married men on here, because I am single and on a date site. I don't need married friends in cyberspace, I have those here in reality. People that are are married men or women are looking for excitement and not looking for pen pals, especially, if they are corresponding to single people or other married people who souldn't be on a date site! In my opinion. Hello, red flags everywhere!!!!

It would be the same if a married person was going to the bar all the time, especially on a Friday night, hello?
Happy hour with work mates are a different story, but if that special someone comes out to play and your having problems at home, look out red flag flying aggressively in the wind and trouble brews if there is no well power and their relationship is heading for the toilet!!!!
 english lass
Joined: 11/14/2007
Msg: 145
Why won't you talk with married men???
Posted: 11/19/2007 5:53:37 AM
"why won't you talk with married men???" : because it usually ends with complications and hurt..

also, if i were married i wouldn't want my husband to be on a dating site.. nor would i want to be on one myself... i would take it as a lack of respect, personally... however, i understand that you and your wife are cool with eachother being on here, so you just need to find other people with the same more open ideas about relationships... i know there are some
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