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 scruldbrug
Joined: 11/30/2006
Msg: 213
Why men wont date independant womenPage 4 of 77    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41)

In other words, yeah you are an "Independant Woman", big friggin whoopdidoo! I am an Independant Man, would you expect anything less? Neither would I, so stop crowing about it. Trust me, unless a man is a complete and utter headcase, he wants nothing to do with some mewling, helpless, hopelessly dependant sack of flesh in a skirt. There simply is nothing appealing about that whatsoever.


thorn, i love ya man. i can't believe how often in this thread so many of us have said that we guys like independent women but we don't like hearing all the 'you go girl' crap as they hug each other about who can yell the loudest about how independent they are. i think it's one of those stupid semantics things again. most men like independent women but we don't like bi**hes. when we say that it seems that most of the women here read 'men don't like independent women'. it's so tiresome.
 scruldbrug
Joined: 11/30/2006
Msg: 216
Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 12/21/2006 7:25:54 PM

In my OPINION, "independent women" turn out to be cold, aloof, hard to reach, hard to get a hold of, don't need help, can't be vulnerable, emotionally unavailable, and will create space because deep down they want to "remain independent" in spite of a relationship. Some independent women are kinda ****y which of course is "overcompensating" for the need to be loved and taken care of sometimes.


i love you too, man...:> careful, though, you are tredding on sacred ground and will, invariably, be shouted down. a number of us guys, who know nothing apparently nor should we express our opinion despite the fact that we make up nearly 50% of the population, have the wrong opinion about what we feel about 'independent' women.

ps... i've noticed the misspelling of 'independent' as well, but i have so long ago grown tired of pointing spelling and usage errors here... like 'allot', 'alot', 'there', 'there', 'their', 'your', 'you're'.
 Sandy8457
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 218
Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 12/21/2006 7:52:00 PM
This is an interesting topic, especially since I did put that I am independent in my profile. I'm thinking maybe I should revise my profile now after reading how emotionally charged that word can be and how many different ways it can be interpreted.

I mentioned it in my profile for two reasons.

1) I want men to know that I'm not looking for them to take care of me, I can do that for myself. I would think that would be a positive trait. I'm not going to be a drain on anyones bank account, I'm not clingy, I have a full live of my own with plenty of interests of my own. I am very secure with myself and would allow a man all the space and freedom he wants. Of course, I expect the same.

2) I have been with men who are suffocating, jealous, control freaks. I don't need a man like that.

I don't think my independence makes me any less feminine or caring. I certaininly don't consider myself a cold or aloof person.
 Sandy8457
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 219
Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 12/21/2006 7:55:47 PM
You are too funny! This is the kind of control, I would gladly surrender to my man.
 scruldbrug
Joined: 11/30/2006
Msg: 223
Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 12/21/2006 9:29:09 PM
this thread gets goofier and goofier. i think it should be re-named 'the epitome of why men can't be bothered trying to have a meaningful conversation with women'. again and again and again, men have stated that they like self-defined 'independent' women. again and again and again, women have posted messages giving their blustering opinions about why men don't like 'independent' women. again and again and again, men have tried to explain from their perspective what they see or think of when they meet a self-important 'independent' woman. again and again and again women shout the men down and tell the men that they have no idea what they, the men, mean. it's so tiresome. ok, girls, have at it. i'm sure i'll hear from the bully-girls on this one. cheers.
 scruldbrug
Joined: 11/30/2006
Msg: 230
Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 12/22/2006 7:50:32 AM

Whaddya think? Am I trying too hard to make sense of the uncomprehensible?


you may be on to something.
 stubobb
Joined: 1/24/2005
Msg: 231
Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 12/22/2006 8:00:52 AM
Watch out there Algy, you're making sense. Your post will be vehemently ignored.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 236
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Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 12/22/2006 2:23:01 PM
If someone isn't in a relationship, aren't they independent, male or female? Unless they're still living with and being supported by their parents or someone else, aren't they living "independently"? Really does seem a little more simple than the volumes of responses to this thread would suggest.
 Sandy8457
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 238
Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 12/23/2006 12:49:41 PM
Thanks Comanche, that is great advice. I appreciate the point of view of a rational man, and I have updated my profile accordingly. By the way, I guess I'm not all that independant afterall....I have several things I need fixed in my house, which I will have to hire a man to do!
 JustCallMeMike
Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 239
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Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 12/23/2006 12:58:57 PM
I believe that part of it is intimidation. Most men like to feel they are needed. That they are a part of something and that if they are needed, the are just like a newspaper or other easily discarded object. But, to be honest, any person (man or woman) who cannot understand the true nature of humanity and that relationships are always based on needs is fooling themselves.
 VivaLaPinto
Joined: 8/19/2006
Msg: 241
Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 12/23/2006 2:17:15 PM
Algy: I am not going to ignore your post, vehemently or otherwise because I completely agree with it. Of course "independant" women want independant men. No one wants to be a babysitter and I think we've all had encounters with a member of the opposite sex who is perfectly content to be taken care of, when thats the last thing you feel like doing.

" "independent women" turn out to be cold, aloof, hard to reach, hard to get a hold of, don't need help, can't be vulnerable, emotionally unavailable"

I know it's your opinion. But in my case, and I'm sure in many others as well, this statement is simply WRONG. I think the measure of a TRUE independant woman (read: not a **** using independance as an excuse for her hormonal behavior) is the ability to step down from the lofty perch of her own two feet, and act like a human being. With feelings. And perhaps even--EMPATHY? now there's a thought...

I think the whole label is mostly just an excuse to act like a snob. I like me, I like what I do, and I am 99.9 percent happy. I HATE feminism, and "independant" women are just a particularly obnoxious effect of feminism. The fact is independence is expected of someone who would call themselves an adult. So unless you want a medal for paying your bills, don't bother puffing yourself up with feminist-manufactured labellism.
 scruldbrug
Joined: 11/30/2006
Msg: 242
Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 12/23/2006 2:22:35 PM

I think the whole label is mostly just an excuse to act like a snob. I like me, I like what I do, and I am 99.9 percent happy. I HATE feminism, and "independant" women are just a particularly obnoxious effect of feminism. The fact is independence is expected of someone who would call themselves an adult. So unless you want a medal for paying your bills, don't bother puffing yourself up with feminist-manufactured labellism.


bravo! er.... brava! Pinto! i like how you put this ^^^^^^^^^^^^^.
 Chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 248
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Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 12/24/2006 12:52:52 PM
^^^^^^^^ Blue Patch, if you are going to use a vibrator to mow the lawn, can I watch?

OP- I don't think men don't like to date women who are independent, we just don't like hearing about it all the time. I once dated a woman who brought it up in every conversation we had about how she was independent she was. After the third date, it just got tiresome and didn't sound so independent after all...
 ISO
Joined: 11/17/2006
Msg: 252
Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 12/25/2006 12:03:53 AM
Easy; it's in our genetic makeup. Only helpmate's appeal to us; not equal's. Richard
 yahoodles
Joined: 9/17/2006
Msg: 255
Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 12/25/2006 3:08:37 PM
Explain to me why... women who are "independant" need to say that they are. What makes a girl independant?


Independent women need to say they are? Where did ya get that info. from? Just making it up yourself are ya? Just look at what ya stirred up.

A lot of so called independent women are such because they had no one to depend on at some stage or even ever. So guess what? They had to survive alone And... they got used to it - it's natural to them and they do not necessarily state the fact - stating the fact is an entirely different issue - it is not due to someone being independent but rather shows that they have issues! Yep, that's my take on it! The fact is, people who "advertise" themselves in any way are showing a need for affirmation - bad sign!

Some women are apparently trying to tell guys they won't be a burden to them... don't like that approach... something's wrong. It's like "please accept me, I won't be a problem for you". More secure person conveys, "this is how I am whether you like it or not!"


Greaseball, what exactly is your definition of independent????
 carolann0308
Joined: 12/9/2006
Msg: 256
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Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 12/25/2006 5:51:56 PM
Perhaps they want you to know they are intelligent,mature and will never hold you responsible for their happiness, financially solidity or well being. Sounds good to me.
If you prefer a dramatic, clingy mess perhaps that is what you should advertise for?
 VivaLaPinto
Joined: 8/19/2006
Msg: 257
Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 12/25/2006 5:56:49 PM
"A lot of so called independent women are such because they had no one to depend on at some stage or even ever. So guess what? They had to survive alone And... they got used to it - it's natural to them and they do not necessarily state the fact - stating the fact is an entirely different issue - it is not due to someone being independent but rather shows that they have issues! Yep, that's my take on it! The fact is, people who "advertise" themselves in any way are showing a need for affirmation - bad sign! "

here here! Great post, yahoodles!
 Sandy8457
Joined: 11/11/2006
Msg: 258
Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 12/25/2006 6:38:25 PM
[Why would I want to date someone who's independant. That means that they dont need me.]

Why do you need to be with someone who needs you, rather than someone who just wants to be with you?
 tchofclas
Joined: 12/24/2005
Msg: 259
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Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 12/25/2006 7:26:55 PM
I think a lot of men are threatened by independant women, so by stating it upfront, I'm not looking for validation anymore than a man who says he doesn't like overweight women. What I'm really trying to do is not waste someone's time if he can't handle the real me. I feel lucky that my parents were way ahead of their time when they raised me to believe I could do anything I put my mind to. That included driving a truck almost 40 years ago, and being CP's first woman brakeman in the Eastern region. Doesn't mean I'm not feminine away from the job, nor that I don't like haveing doors opened for me. I've never had to use 4 lettered words to be accepted in a man's world, and to date have never forgotten that I am a lady. But if the fact I can change a tire, wield a hammer, wrench or a chainsaw bothers you, you've been forewarned, and we probably wouldn't appeal to one another anyway. I think Mesnafugal has made it pretty clear and I wouldn't mind 'borrowing' some of her profile as she has stated it so well. That said, there are men out there who aren't intimidated by independance, so it's 'better to bait the hook for the kind of fish you wish to catch!'
 tchofclas
Joined: 12/24/2005
Msg: 260
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Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 12/25/2006 7:28:30 PM
PS. Forgot to add, those of us with horses don't actually need anyone to cut the lawn, lol!
 Chiwrtr72
Joined: 6/15/2006
Msg: 263
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Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 12/26/2006 5:39:05 PM
Would a truly independent woman even know the guy was gone?
 sherman10
Joined: 11/12/2006
Msg: 264
Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 12/26/2006 5:42:46 PM
independant women are the best !!!!!!!!!!they can stand up for themselves ....

strong and will tell how it is ..no guessing !!(which men can not get anyway )....
 Mesnafugal
Joined: 7/12/2005
Msg: 268
Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 12/26/2006 10:29:00 PM
No we don't tchofclas.. but men are good if they know how to use a manure fork!!!
 ShanKat
Joined: 2/25/2006
Msg: 272
Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 12/28/2006 11:51:11 AM
A woman who doenst need a man, or anyone to guide her through life... or to support her financially and other ways. A truely independant woman doesnt need to be coddled after like a kitten or other pet. They pay their own debts and make their own paths through life without needing someone there to carry them.
 ShanKat
Joined: 2/25/2006
Msg: 274
Why men wont date independant women
Posted: 12/28/2006 12:29:54 PM
Dont worry bud, I dont need to sell myself to anyone.

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