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 Chevy_High_Ridin
Joined: 9/26/2008
Msg: 76
short women/tall menPage 4 of 27    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27)
I'm only 5'1 and my last boyfriend was 6'4..haah and it didn't matter to him not one bit..I think alot of tall guys like short girls..from my exprience anyway..I will really only date tall guys...Thats just me though. But no guy has ever not liked me because of that..I think its more the other way around.

 celts123
Joined: 5/15/2008
Msg: 77
short women/tall men
Posted: 10/7/2008 1:58:49 PM

I would have to agree that there are quite a lot of tall (6'+) men than seek out much shorter women.


Generally women care more about height than men do. I think many taller men ( 6 ft tall or above ) would date a taller woman if they had a chance. However there aren't many oppurtunities to do so. Less than 5% of women are 5'9" or taller. On other hand, I have seen many of profiles where a short woman wants a much taller man. For example a 5'2" woman is looking for a man who is at least 5' 10". There are plenty of available men that are under 5'10".
 GreenEyesGoldenLocks
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 78
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short women/tall men
Posted: 10/7/2008 4:46:11 PM
I have always liked taller men myself. I was raised to take care of myself but I get a small thrill asking my (at the moment hypothetical) guy to pull something down from the top shelf that I cant reach without getting a chair. I put it under the category of like to haves in a guy but not a demand.
 phishkev
Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 79
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short women/tall men
Posted: 10/8/2008 8:49:32 AM
Why not? What gives? Attraction is attraction-who cares? Let it ride!!
 she_smiles
Joined: 6/3/2008
Msg: 80
short women/tall men
Posted: 10/8/2008 11:20:08 AM
I dont date really tall guys, hehe i once went on a date with a guy who was 6'7 lol i was at his waist..
 hapeenurse
Joined: 5/5/2006
Msg: 81
short women/tall men
Posted: 10/8/2008 11:46:37 AM
I'm short, vertically challenged, small stature, whatver you want to call it , 5'3 in shoes standing on my tippy toes and it's never ever been an issue with dating!

Agree that guys have more trouble when it comes to their height - I know a lot of women who won't give a shorter guy a chance - whatever, their loss!

the shortest guy I've dated was 5'6 the tallest 6'2 'ish .
 chuckyB51
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 82
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short women/tall men
Posted: 11/1/2008 4:45:02 PM
Great article by Steve Penner the founder of LunchDates.

Women hypocrites for refusing to date short men
By Steve Penner
August 15, 2008 6:00 AM
The first column I wrote three years ago dealt with the single issue that bugged me the most during the 23 years I ran the dating service LunchDates. Frankly, it was the aggravation caused by this issue that partially motivated me to start writing these columns.

I am referring to single women's prejudice against meeting short men. Since I doubt that too many current readers actually saw that column, I decided to revisit the topic. After all, this is one area in which many women display all the shallowness and superficiality that they love to accuse men of possessing.

The same woman who is 10-20 pounds overweight, and who cannot understand why a man might not want to date her because of those few extra pounds ...; that same woman often will refuse to meet a man who is 2 inches shorter than her "ideal."

During my years at LunchDates I interviewed women who were very flexible about a man's religion, his hobbies, and even whether he was divorced. But the one criterion they would not budge on was his height!

I am not just talking about tall women. It is certainly understandable that a woman who is 5 feet 10 inches might want to meet a man over 6 feet tall. (In fact, though, the few women who stated that they were open to meeting men shorter than themselves tended to be taller women.)

What really perplexed me was the number of short women who insisted that they only would date men considerably taller than themselves. It was very common for women 5 feet 4 inches or under to state that they "absolutely" only wanted to meet a man at least 5 feet 10 inches, and they really preferred 6 feet.

I find it amazing how many women have attached an almost magical meaning to the height of 6-feet tall. If society tended to describe people in terms of inches rather than feet, I wonder how attractive it would sound to hear a man described as "72 inches tall," rather than "70 inches."

If you are skeptical, have a single man you know place an ad on an Internet dating site saying that he is 6 feet. Than have another man place an identical ad except for stating that he is only 5 feet 10 inches. I guarantee that the first ad will attract nearly twice as many responses from women!

Now many of the women I interviewed at LunchDates were "modern" women who insisted on equality in every way ...; except height. That is, they were educated, had good jobs, and earned a decent income. They only wanted to meet men who also were educated, had good jobs, and earned a decent income.

But those men also had to be tall! When pushed to the wall and asked their reasons, they replied with some of the following excuses:


"I usually wear shoes with at least three to four-inch heels," some women responded very naturally. They also frequently pointed out that many boots have even higher heels. So these women would add at least three to four inches to their own height just to pull even, then another few inches to make sure that the man on their arm was still taller.
"My father, my brother, and all the men in my family are over 6 feet, so that is what I am used to," one women stated, insisting that she KNEW that the average height of men was around 6 feet. When I tried to tell her that the median height of men was between 5 feet 8 inches and 5 feet 9 inches, she got up and angrily marched out of the interview room!
"I am short, and I am looking for a man to father my children, and I don't want to have short children," a number of women told me, with a straight face, I might add.
"I just feel safer when I walk down the street with a man who is much taller than me," was also a common response.
"I am only attracted to tall men, I just can't help it!"

So where does this height bias leave short men? Behind the proverbial eight-ball, I am sad to say. After all, take a woman who is only 5 feet 2 inches, add three to four inches for her "heels," another two to three inches so she can feel safe, and lo and behold, it is not unusual for such a women to refuse to meet any man under 5 feet 9 inches. That means she is eliminating about one-half of the male population.

I was especially disheartened when interviewing a man under 5 feet 6 inches. After all, it is easy to tell a single man or woman who smokes a pack a day that he or she would have a much higher Dating Quotient (that is be easier to match) if he or she quit smoking. It is a little more awkward to tell a woman who is very overweight that she will be difficult to match unless she drops a few pounds.

But a smoker can quit, and an overweight woman can lose weight. But there is not much a short man can do.

Fortunately I am not referring to all women. There are (and were) exceptions.

For research purposes, I occasionally would glance through my dating service's "married file," (a file that obviously contained the profiles of couples who met and married through LunchDates). I noted that many of the women in that file had stated in their interview that they really cared very little how tall their matches were, and that flexibility had translated into a very successful membership.

Then I looked through the file of people who had completed their membership at LunchDates without meeting anyone. Sure enough, it was full of those women who had insisted they would only meet men much taller than themselves.

Over the years I became increasingly frustrated by many women's lack of flexibility in this area. Once I decided I was really going to "negotiate" with a short woman who was insisting that she only wanted to meet men over 6 feet. The woman had just stated that she was looking to get married and have children.

"You realize that if you are talking about growing old with a man, most people shrink a couple of inches as they hit old age," I said.

The woman paused, thought about what I said, then responded "Well, if he's going to shrink, all the more reason to only meet someone very tall!"

Steve Penner was the owner of the Boston-based dating service LunchDates for nearly 23 years
 1SmartBlond
Joined: 8/6/2008
Msg: 83
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short women/tall men
Posted: 11/1/2008 5:29:05 PM
I'm 5' 1" and I prefer short guys over tall guys. I just feel more comfortable with men closer to my height.
 CJ_Spaz
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 84
short women/tall men
Posted: 11/6/2008 2:03:28 AM
Yes tall men date/marry short women. I am 5' on the money never been an issue for me. Good Luck.
 Tessie101
Joined: 6/21/2008
Msg: 85
short women/tall men
Posted: 11/6/2008 4:58:57 AM
chuckyb51, very interesting article by Steve Penner. I hope people take note and give it some consideration. I hate to think there are wonderful people being tossed aside due to their height. Says a lot about our modern society!
 Formithonguy
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 86
short women/tall men
Posted: 11/6/2008 10:37:40 AM
Good contribution chuckyb51 on 11/1/2008 402 PM.

A very well written and convincing grass roots study. I've seen plenty of wide ranging, long standing, all inclusive collections of info on this topic, and Steve supports them without going into the endless data and analysis that some people don't care to consider. Steve stated his observations and conclusions easily and briefly enough to get the point across. Entrenched bias takes time to fade from the populace, and it's brave articles and forums like these that whittle away to the point when it's a faint memory.

By way of illustrating that point from just what I see in this forum on up to an historic turning point in our culture - the girl who wove into her rant (against my contribution here) that she defends her preference to consort with a man she deems ideal height, rather than "a dwarf"... I say is akin to referring to a man of color the "n" word. This kind of prejudice calls out to be seen for what it is, with honest enlightenment and public shaming to counter a dehumanizing attitude. Yesterday the public voted in a black man for president of our country... it wouldn't hurt the dating public to take note that a man under 6 foot in height IS a man... just as worthy of a woman's company as his taller brothers.
 classy BBW
Joined: 9/12/2008
Msg: 87
short women/tall men
Posted: 11/6/2008 11:41:15 AM
Im 5'8" and can't get past the height thing.....BIG PROBLEM WITH ME.... I prefer a man taller than 6'2". Some consider this shallow but It's actually a preference .
 Formithonguy
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 88
short women/tall men
Posted: 11/6/2008 12:07:41 PM
Im 5'8" and can't get past the height thing.....BIG PROBLEM WITH ME.... I prefer a man taller than 6'2". Some consider this shallow but It's actually a preference .


Semantics, BBW. One could call it a fixation too. Nothing physically or otherwise wrong with a minor variance in either direction. It's the shortest and tiniest women fixated on the tallest and heaviest guys which is the main issue and biggest problem that dilutes and pollutes the dating pool. It creates a detrimental imbalance in many ways for everyone... everyone. That lone "preference" unrealistically and far too outweighs the more important qualities people could be open to and enjoy in their interpersonal relationships. If hypothetically I were suddenly changed into a tall man or short woman, I would not forget or forsake what I've learned about this and I'd carry on pointing it out. My voice would probably be heard too. ;)
 Mixxolydian
Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 89
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short women/tall men
Posted: 11/6/2008 12:43:45 PM
I know plenty of guys who prefer short and petite women. I have a friend whose 6' 3" who prefers his women 5' 2" or shorter. He says he likes the feeling of towering over his "doll babies" and encasing them in his long arms. To each his own I guess. I like my women to be between 5' 4" and 5' 10". Preferably on the taller side.
 nmcmill2001
Joined: 7/31/2008
Msg: 90
short women/tall men
Posted: 11/7/2008 8:27:54 AM
The monotony of this room knows no bounds. The sad truth is that some inviduals....I won't name any names except maybe "Kelli_18" and "Star911" shows how programmed our society is.

To answer your question, men date short women if they are attractive i.e. not fat, well proportioned facial features (nose, ears), etc. If you or anyone else is having a hard time finding someone, it isn't some genetic barrier you must overcome.

A guy could very well date a short woman just as a woman could date a tall guy if the person is attractive. Therefore, if your tall or short and you aren't geting many dates from your preference (tall or short) then you must be unattractive. Hey, I see it in the gym everyday and that is the bottom line.
 Formithonguy
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 91
short women/tall men
Posted: 11/7/2008 10:39:14 AM
A guy could very well date a short woman just as a woman could date a tall guy if the person is attractive. Therefore, if your tall or short and you aren't geting many dates from your preference (tall or short) then you must be unattractive.


You seem like a nice guy but you didn't say anything or gather anything interesting from this thread. Why you're into this topic might be a better question. What you said is just a side step, to borrow your term - monotonous; and I didn't see the call to be as sarcastic as you were, i.e. "won't name any names", and the self congratulatory victory salute is just over the top. 911 made a valid, interesting comment that was on topic.

My sincere point is that the topic is why short women and tall guys are so attracted to each other, far to the exclusion of others and other characteristics, not just whether they are attractive or not. Then to conclude that the ONLY reason one isn't getting any dates is because they are unattractive may be your opinion, but it's a pointless point to make and misses the opportunity to delve deeper if not at least stay on topic, which is tall/short, not attractive/unattractive.

I do agree with you though that many if not most of the posts here are monotonous, and our society is programmed (in my opinion in many detrimental ways, short/tall being one of them).

P.S. I have to comment here on babyboo's post following mine (since I was restricted from posting following it). My comment: monotony and missing the point marches on. Most people are treating this as a poll instead of a discussion, and it underlines what's most obvious to me - that they don't get it.
 babyboo380
Joined: 11/3/2008
Msg: 92
short women/tall men
Posted: 11/7/2008 10:50:10 AM
all the guys ive dated were at least 6'2, and im only 5'1....I don't think alot of guy have height issues.
 Tallbooy
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 93
short women/tall men
Posted: 11/7/2008 9:19:16 PM
I'm 6'9" tall. I've dated short women and I've dated tall women. Here's my theory:

SHORT WOMEN: Many short women feel cursed with their height and would like to be taller, but there's nothing they can do about it. I'm thinking they might like tall guys for breeding purposes - "I can't be taller, but at least I'll give my children a shot at it." And maybe for safety purposes. Maybe they want a tall guy around to feel better protected.

TALL WOMEN: Tall women like dating tall guys because it makes them feel more feminine. They want to be able to put heels on and still look up to their man.


Do tall men date short women?

I have no problem at all dating a short woman. I don't have a big hang up about height. I am guilty of having a preference for someone who is height/weight proportionate. I feel very fortunate for being tall, I thing that short guys get a bad rap. Come on women, they need love too.

 chuckyB51
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 94
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short women/tall men
Posted: 11/7/2008 9:50:01 PM
I think tall guys need to ask themselves a few questions...Is she attracted to me for my height or is she attracted to me? If she is attracted to you, then she would be with you whether 5'4" or 6'4". Ask her after a few dates...If I was only [insert short height] would you have gone on a date with me? If she say's no, then you need to question if she loves you or your height.

Is she with me just to make herself feel feminine and more womanly? Most women need outside forces to feel feminine.

Is she with me because she wants tall offspring? Many short women will admit to this one.
 Thebestbeancounter
Joined: 10/11/2006
Msg: 95
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short women/tall men
Posted: 11/8/2008 8:26:33 AM
Quite interesting article actually, but I'm not at all surprised.

Ever since the 1st time I was told that I was too short to date, I started understanding the rules of the game.

Now it doesn't even bother me when they tell me that, because if I was to get $100,000 everytime I got told that, I'd be a multi millionaire. Best of luck to them going for the upper echelon of guys who the majority of them know they have options.

Ever since then, I have realized that the female friends that I know who were height snobs are still single after all these years (Minus a couple of them who got lucky and snagged a good guy), and they're always claiming they meet the bad ones everytime there's a get together.

Go figure.
 moonlit09
Joined: 9/18/2008
Msg: 96
short women/tall men
Posted: 11/8/2008 8:39:35 AM
Opposites attract- I prefer 5'11 to 6'1 i can only wear 4 inch heels not 5
 Formithonguy
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 97
short women/tall men
Posted: 11/8/2008 1:21:26 PM

Of course they do.

Thank you.


However, these days it has become sort of a"thing" to date tall women if you´re a tall man (unlucky me! )..but who knows, it might turn the opposite in the future.

This observation reminds me of a phenomenon that we see what we want to or are interested in seeing. For example: when I was young and an opportunity to buy a sports car presented itself, I bought and totally rebuilt it from the ground up. It was a huge investment in time, I was intimately knowledgeable of this particular model and proud of my work. I was struck by and sure there grew to be more of them on the road, but it was an illusion... they were in fact a dying breed. My interest enhanced my perception. They were always out there, I just hadn't noticed them.

If you "orionican" see tall men suddenly dating taller women, this perception thing may be a factor and leaning heavily on your personal experience. In my 54 years on this planet I've seen the general popular trend go the other way... more today than ever. When I see people of more equal size together, it's rare, like my sports car was, but it's what stands out to me because I'm interested in the concept (of people picking the someone their own size). You honestly acknowledge shorter men do in fact have a height bias against them, implying and probably feeling only the taller guys are the datable ones, and ironically that it's you who is unlucky. Something to think about but thanks again for the acknowledgment.

As for some of the comments from others about why short women favor tall guys... tired old rationalizations in my view. I wrote papers in college psych and socio classes on this topic and offered the same hypotheseze, but real life is different.
 Put Name Here
Joined: 3/12/2007
Msg: 98
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short women/tall men
Posted: 11/8/2008 5:48:57 PM
Hi OP,

I am 6' 2" and have dated ladies around 5' tall and even up to 5' 6" but the same thing always happened. "HUH?", "What did you say?" were voiced by both people and being the taller one I had to lean down all the time while walking or what ever. The shorter person rarely tilted their heads up so they could be heard.

This lead to them saying I wasn't listening to them when in fact I didn't even hear them. Laying in bed may be another story but you don't live in bed.

In my profile I say I am looking for a taller lady and communication is the main reason. I'm open to shorter ladies but their personality really has to be willing to give as much as I do in the communication area.

Looking at the top of someone's head all the time gets old.

That being said my Grandpa, all 6' 6" of him, married a lady that was 4' 11". All of his siblings were over 6' 4", women too, all thirteen of them, from Germany/Prussian. Not sure if they had a good marriage because he passed away a few years before I was born. She was not a friendly person and hit a lot. In my experience short or tall ladies seem to hit equally. That slug in the shoulder, stomach, back of the head, not fun at all but stupidly accepted by society, maybe it's a PNW thing. I never encountered it till moving here.

I have had almost all good relationships with taller ladies. I think it is the communication factor. Being able to see eyes, something I love to look at, and actually hear what someone is saying to me is a good thing.

Good luck on your finding someone taller, if that is what you are after. Maybe some of the ladies that are short and going with taller guys can share their secret of being able to communicate with them. If I find a short lady that looks up and talks louder enough to be heard while walking, standing, what ever that would be great. Just doesn't happen much. Most couples I have seen are usually within the same height area.
 Formithonguy
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 99
short women/tall men
Posted: 11/8/2008 9:07:54 PM
You bring up a good point I rarely see "put name here", about one of the difficulties that disparate height couples have... that of every day communication. You would think that short ladies would tire of looking up to their tall partners, but you point out that they simply leave it up to you to lean down all the time. It's one of the points I like to bring up, that of being able to whisper in your lover's ear when walking, looking into their eyes, everything associated with being on the same level and having the same point of view... literally, but figuratively too. I take it a step further that it also applies laying down and being intimate too... I mean, why would a woman rather stare into a man's chest hair than have her face closer to his for all the same reasons? Anyway, I don't have a problem with anyone, especially tall guys who look for partners their own size, and everyone seems to like me except short gals. They will be rude and snub me on sight, as if I had run over their dog or something. I do think it's a social sickness conditioned from birth. Every generation of females passes it on. Guys not so much. I don't recall ever being hit though, but I've seen that and I guess the bigger guys might get it because they supposedly can take it I guess. Reminds me of the "Friends" episode where Joey's very little girl friend hit him (kiddingly) so much and hard that he had to start wearing layers of sweaters to soften the blows.
 thegoodwitch89
Joined: 11/1/2008
Msg: 100
short women/tall men
Posted: 11/10/2008 12:43:46 AM
i will only date guys if they are taller than me. i don't know something about being able to look up into their eyes, all me a romantic.....
maybe it's because my mom is 5'1" and my dad is 6'4". maybe i don't know any different. i just think that a guy dating a girl thats taller than them is weird.
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