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 Witchypoo
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 38
what do girls think about dating a guy with a kid?Page 5 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE KIDS!!!!! Kids are great...................................












With ketchup and onions. :))
Witchy
 Melodic Euphoria
Joined: 3/22/2005
Msg: 45
what do girls think about dating a guy with a kid?
Posted: 6/4/2006 9:05:17 PM
I'd hope that the guy have good maternal instincts ;) other than that, it should not interfere with dating, and should weed out those woman who make a big deal out of it.
 arri
Joined: 10/5/2005
Msg: 47
what do girls think about dating a guy with a kid?
Posted: 6/4/2006 9:13:28 PM
I don't know what they think about .. but if they show up with gifts for him after the first date .. I get scared
 *buzz*
Joined: 6/1/2006
Msg: 53
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what do girls think about dating a guy with a kid?
Posted: 6/4/2006 11:19:23 PM
Actually, a while back I met a guy who didn't have children. In the end he admitted that this was the cause for the end on his part because he could not handle mine. I mean, kids are kids, there is hardly any difference between them, they are like little sponges that absorb anything that stimulates their minds. And they do need stimulation and motivation.
To understand a little soul, one has to sometimes lower theirself to see & understand.
A guy with a kid would know what I'm talking about. It would definitely be for me!
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 58
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what do girls think about dating a guy with a kid?
Posted: 6/5/2006 5:56:40 AM

Maybe I'm wrong.....but if I were a woman, I'd be a little scared of a man who has the kids after a divorce. Not because of him, but his ex would need to be a drug addict, not have a job, an acoholic, abusive, have a criminal record.

Yeah, you're wrong. I have my son and it's not for any of the above reasons. My ex is an excellent mother, she just has a very busy career that calls for her to travel quite a bit. She always makes up the time when given the opportunity.
 YamIhere
Joined: 3/17/2005
Msg: 59
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what do girls think about dating a guy with a kid?
Posted: 6/5/2006 6:00:01 AM

It's nearly unanimous, folks. Women don't want a guy who's already got kids.

I must be special, then, because I never have trouble getting dates - never. I do meet the occasional woman who isn't interested because I have a kid. And that's fine. I can understand their position largely because it is due to their station in life.

But, yeah, I don't have any problems getting dates with some very beautiful, incredible young ladies.
 kristinanb
Joined: 3/21/2006
Msg: 64
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what do girls think about dating a guy with a kid?
Posted: 6/5/2006 12:32:40 PM
Hmm...This is a very popular thread topic right now. I'm single, no kids and I wouldn't rule out a single dad. However, I would prefer someone similar to myself. I recognize there's a good possibility someone in their 30's may have a family.

I can understand someone that married and had children with the expectation that it would wind up being happily ever after. Sometimes life doesn't work that way, even when everything has been done.

With that being said, I would not want to deal with man's nightmare ex or a terrible kid situation. The reason for the problems doesn't matter, they need to be resolved first.

I would also not want someone who's values vastly differed from mine in the area of raising children.

Tina
 pipi3363
Joined: 6/16/2006
Msg: 80
what do girls think about dating a guy with a kid?
Posted: 6/21/2006 7:40:45 PM
When I met my husband he had a son who was 7 at the time my son was 5.. I had no problem with it... he is willing to except me with mine and i the same... with him.. i think the children have more of a harder time going through it seeing their parent with somebody else and they are the ones that need the nutrient if the relationship is to be a long term. I excepted my husbands son as my own and he is now 24 and he did the same with my son.
 CookieLady66
Joined: 11/7/2008
Msg: 99
what do girls think about dating a guy with a kid?
Posted: 3/20/2009 1:40:18 PM
I won't date a guy who has kids that are YOUNGER than mine (13 & 18) or a guy who has MORE kids than I do...or especially....NEVER date a guy who wants to move in with you so you can SUPPORT him & his kids! (been here, done this, got the T-shirt)
 Blue_eyedsweetheart
Joined: 1/15/2009
Msg: 108
what do girls think about dating a guy with a kid?
Posted: 3/25/2009 6:40:52 PM
i would date a guy who has kids, its very attractive, esp if its good dad , when i can watch a guy being himself when rearing his child its just pure attractive, because then u watch the look on his face in certain situations and its just attractive when aguy takes full pride in his child.
 Out_of_the_Ash
Joined: 3/1/2009
Msg: 112
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what do girls think about dating a guy with a kid?
Posted: 3/25/2009 9:15:23 PM
I wouldn't want to do it.
I don't have kids, and I don't want any... and I don't want to play second fiddle to a kid, or anyone else, for that matter.

Never been in that situation and I won't be getting myself in it either, if I can help it at all.
 itechman63
Joined: 7/7/2005
Msg: 117
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what do girls think about dating a guy with a kid?
Posted: 3/26/2009 8:55:13 AM
Having my daughters as much as I do does mean that my XW and I are in contact a lot. (I have the kids every other night and every other weekend). She's not bi-polar, not demanding, not bitter, not confrontational... we just communicate on clothing, school performance, getting the kids from A to B, and which will do what at what time. It's simply cordial and pleasant most times. We do have differences in philosophies and schedules, so we can butt heads but it never gets ugly.

Having my kids so much has made it difficult to get things off the ground both socially and romantically. But the window of time where your children WANT to spend time with you and do things with you isn't open all that long. We're making memories and bonding now... I wouldn't trade it for the world.

But I understand when a person's kids are grown, it's their time now. To accept a man with pre-teens into her life, a woman would be resetting the clock back so to speak and have to wait a little longer to 'experience her time now'. I get it.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 121
what do girls think about dating a guy with a kid?
Posted: 3/28/2009 11:24:26 PM

what do girls think about dating a guy with a kid?

It's not an option for me. Did it once, fell in love with the children ~ not with him. It was exceptionally painful for all involved (especially the children.)
 sexiLau27
Joined: 9/22/2008
Msg: 148
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what do girls think about dating a guy with a kid?
Posted: 4/14/2009 7:49:44 PM
I agree with knightrider... I too was once a girl that said ... I would NEVER date a guy with kids..... and then I had a change of heart. My bf has a child.... and he is splitting custody with his ex ...IT can be frustrating sometimes yes, however he is the love of my life... and I feel things with him that I have neverrr felt with anyone before him. Never say never!!!
 Strider886
Joined: 3/28/2006
Msg: 152
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what do girls think about dating a guy with a kid?
Posted: 2/22/2010 3:11:39 AM
I assume were not talking about baby goats here..... That would be worrying!
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 153
what do girls think about dating a guy with a kid?
Posted: 5/28/2013 2:50:02 PM
I don't have any so i wouldn't. To many reasons to name on here
 JohnMedlin
Joined: 5/17/2013
Msg: 154
what do girls think about dating a guy with a kid?
Posted: 5/28/2013 8:12:14 PM
I got my daughter because of her mothers mental health issues. I am the domicialliary parent and receive $0 in child support. My daughter is better off with me and my parents. To tell you the truth, Im better off alone. Women nowadays are only worrried about money and how much attention they can absorb. Im guessing Ill wait until my kids are grown up to find someone. Ill be 53 when my son graduates from high school. That way I can concentrate on them and not some attention grabbing spoiled ass woman.
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 155
what do girls think about dating a guy with a kid?
Posted: 5/28/2013 8:45:02 PM
Really dude really? I have been there as well and like it or not that exactly how it feels. He has to dance to exactly what ex says. I I came seconds best not to the kids bu for he ex. And yes the hottest most desirable guy when he has kids its over. I would rather regular dude as long as he doesn't have baggage.
 BabblingBrookes
Joined: 2/14/2013
Msg: 156
what do girls think about dating a guy with a kid?
Posted: 5/28/2013 9:16:37 PM
I think women with children will be more understanding of a single father's obligations. No matter how you slice it, you will take second place to the child. You can't fault the father for that, but you can avoid getting in such a situation to begin with. I'm open to dating a single father, but only under extreme and specific circumstances. You're not just building a relationship with the father, but with the child as well. What if the dad likes me just fine, but the kid doesn't? I doubt I could see myself trying to build a relationship with more than 1 child. Frankly, romantic relationships are hard enough without bringing in children. If I had no options or I was a single parent myself, I would be more open to dating single fathers. Of my past relationships, only one with a single father went remotely well. Strangely enough, I miss the child more than I miss her father. That's another painful situation you can find yourself in. He made it very clear that if I didn't want to be with him then I should stay away from his kid. I can't blame him at all, but she was a great kid. I can't see putting myself in that situation again unless it was an extreme circumstance.
 jpwrnglrwmn_forumsonly
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 157
what do girls think about dating a guy with a kid?
Posted: 5/28/2013 9:42:36 PM
Babblingbrookes said it best. .that no matter how you look at it, you will always be second to the child. If you aren't ok with that, best just to walk away at the beginning before you become too emotionally involved. And yes, a relationship is hard enough without worrying if the child likes you, as well. In my last relationship, I dated a man who had custody of his 8 year old boy on all weekends and holidays. This wouldn't have been an issue, but our schedules were opposite. .I start work in the afternoon, and left at night, so we had very little time together on the weekdays. To make matters even more complicated, he, his son, and the ex wife always had dinner at the ex wife's house on sunday night. They also did other things, like attend fairs , as if they were still a family. He said most people who were divorced didn't know how to handle things, and probably would end up screwing up things. .he wanted to preserve a sense of normalcy for his son, even if he was divorced.He also was very overprotective of his son, refusing to leave his son on his son's playdates. I got along fine with the son, he is a good kid, but the father still had some baggage (he seemed very bitter when speaking of his ex wife, was recently divorced--it had been a year)
I wouldn't rule out dating men with kids, but probably would look to date someone without any first.
 marilynh77
Joined: 12/29/2012
Msg: 158
what do girls think about dating a guy with a kid?
Posted: 5/28/2013 9:58:14 PM
I think it's cool!
Each to it's own, so just weed out those who's willing from those who don't care to.
So what if kids come first. As a teacher, I have seen too many children's heart broken by daddy choosing another woman over them or their time with their daddy. Sad!
I've raised mine on my own without child support or his daddy and it's hard. Be willing to choose a lady who loves the child as well because it's sad to see children feeling abandon due to daddy's new play toy, the other woman.
 jpwrnglrwmn_forumsonly
Joined: 4/23/2011
Msg: 159
what do girls think about dating a guy with a kid?
Posted: 5/28/2013 10:09:52 PM
You do have a point, but as someone (you) who already has a child, I believe your situation/perspective is different. I think people with kids should date others who have one/some as well, because they might be more understanding of schedules.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 160
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what do girls think about dating a guy with a kid?
Posted: 5/29/2013 11:33:03 AM
It doesn't matter what gender the potential partner is, having children complicates things. If you don't have children of your own, be prepared for times when you come second. If you cannot accept that, then it is obvious that you shouldn't date a person with kids.

As a single parent, I can't and won't drop my children (within reason) for my girlfriend. If push came to shove, she is the one who would have to go. I think that would apply to most sensible parents. Fact. Allowances can be made, but tolerance from the non-child partner has to be understood.

The solution is to only date other people who have children. Both sides then understand the commitment, can be supportive and keep a larger picture in mind. This doesn't make it any easier to have a successful relationship, but it does eliminate the bad feelings that have been shared in above posts (to which they are entitled to).

I am going to go a step further and make a judgment. To me the people who say they would NEVER date a man with kids might be closing off potentially awesome partners. Their loss. It also comes across as self-centred and selfish. It smacks of Me! Me!Me! And when I hear a rant about it, no matter how valid the reasons, I still come away thinking that the person is self involved, and take it as a character flaw. (Which doesn't matter, because I have kids which eliminates me as a potential partner.)
 KatarzynaLuiza
Joined: 10/5/2012
Msg: 162
what do girls think about dating a guy with a kid?
Posted: 5/31/2013 8:22:35 PM
Well I'm sorry that u fell that way. Self centered. I'm sorry I work all different hrs and when I go home I need to rest which means house need to be quiet. Bc of the same schedule I do to out paste at night and weekends. I'm sorry that once in a while I want to go see a movie n get a drink. And if it is 11 o'clock on some random e evening it's just what it is. I understand that unlike no children guy u can't just drop ur child n come hang out withe all well end long on some hiking trip. But it doesn't make me self centered if I chose to have carier n dog insed of child. At least they are clean thy can stay home at 11 at night n they are quiet when I try to sleep
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