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 NatGoat
Joined: 10/15/2005
Msg: 88
What's the fastest you've ever fallen HARD for someone??Page 5 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Trisha....Can we Talk...???
8+ yr Wid. .....!


~ J
 bassplayer2112_420
Joined: 3/17/2009
Msg: 91
What's the fastest you've ever fallen HARD for someone??
Posted: 9/16/2014 9:32:20 AM
It only took me one night. I was at a wedding and got to know this girl who I'd only met briefly before. We stayed up till 6am talking about life and what we wanted to do in the future. I have her my suit jacket on the way back to the hotel because she was cold. I was freezing but I didn't care because I knew she wasn't. She then invited me down for a weekend to her place in Kingston which is a 3.5 hour drive for me. Friday night she slept in her roommates room for a good reason because Saturday night was the night we were drunk and could not contain how we felt about each other. I poured everything my heart had to offer out to her and she really appreciated that. She's told me nobody had told her this and it was very very sweet. We woke up early the next morning so we could cuddle in bed for a few hours before I left. Leaving was the hardest because we had to make a decision on whether or not it will work with the distance. I was willing to do anything to see her but we ultimately agreed that being friends might be a better idea because we will just get hurt even more with the time we'll have to spend apart. Everywhere I go, every song I hear, and every face I see reminds me of her and that just makes me want to break down and cry. These are some deep wounds that are going to take a long time to heal :(
 averagewhitechick
Joined: 8/28/2014
Msg: 92
What's the fastest you've ever fallen HARD for someone??
Posted: 9/16/2014 9:51:20 AM
Actually, it happened to me just recently. Immediate attraction and chemistry for both of us. We went out 3 times in 3 days. Then the weekend hit and *BAM* -- nothing. No texts, no calls. I did a little investigating and discovered he was MARRIED. Shortest relationship in the history of the world lol
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 93
What's the fastest you've ever fallen HARD for someone??
Posted: 9/16/2014 11:24:04 AM
Puppy love or infatuation aside, honest real love, 9 months.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 94
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What's the fastest you've ever fallen HARD for someone??
Posted: 9/16/2014 11:48:14 AM
Most of these sound like plain old infatuation and physical chemistry....which is a GREAT beginning, but it isn't LOVE.
Also, it depends on age/experience, too. It was easier to "fall" when I was younger...now, I'm more cautious.
Don't get me wrong, I've had those instantaneous-our-eyes-meet-across-a-crowded-room, type of deals and they are FUN.
But THAT is NOT the reality of ANY relationship....That usually comes somewhere down the road after the peacock feathers begin falling off and some of the warts and scars are revealed and "loving" the person is a wee bit less...easy and a little more like work.
I think that it's important to have that chemistry and infatuation at the beginning because it can halp you later on down the road.
But, for me, I have to really KNOW someone in order to fall in LOVE with them, and that DEFINITELY takes MORE than a moment....
 VolkanoKing
Joined: 8/1/2014
Msg: 95
What's the fastest you've ever fallen HARD for someone??
Posted: 9/16/2014 11:50:18 AM
Probably about 1-3 seconds. Happens fast, and usually the feelings are not reciprocated, so then I have to go thru (sometimes) a long, painful "detox" to get off the rush of dopamine and seratonin.
 alanj805
Joined: 4/16/2014
Msg: 96
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What's the fastest you've ever fallen HARD for someone??
Posted: 9/16/2014 12:04:40 PM
I've fallen hard for people at first sight, and many of those feelings endured for years.

I'd love to know the difference between infatuation and "real" love that so many speak of. I've never been able to consider my feelings to have been anything but real.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 97
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What's the fastest you've ever fallen HARD for someone??
Posted: 9/16/2014 12:25:23 PM

I'd love to know the difference between infatuation and "real" love that so many speak of. I've never been able to consider my feelings to have been anything but real.

Infatuation is LARGELY based on physical chemistry. Even as you get to know your partner, you may not REALLY "get to know" them as they ARE, so much as gloss over the bits that DON'T fit with your particular fantasy. That's NOT to say that your feelings aren't REAL,it's just that, at the BEGINNING anyway, they are based on NO or little information and actual EXPERIENCE of who the other person IS. The actual term for that is called "cathexis".
It's ONLY with time that you TRULY get to know another person and that's NOT to say that the relationship will END, but many DO at that point. Usually 3 mos.-1 yr.
When someone tells me that they've fallen in "love" with someone and it ends that quickly, that indicates to me that it was an infatuation and when reality shoved it's way in through the fog of infatuation, they ended up discovering that the person "wasn't who they THOUGHT they were"...
The reality IS, they WERE that person, or the BEST version of themselves that they could be, but eventually that intrudes on the fantasy created by the infatuation and you discover that they're really NOT for you after all...
I think that we ALL are guilty of doing this,it's part of the human experience and I'm GLAD that I personally have gotten the chance to experience it. I STILL will enjoy it when it happens, but I am also aware of the dynamics and know that time always tells...
 rftv1020
Joined: 5/13/2014
Msg: 98
What's the fastest you've ever fallen HARD for someone??
Posted: 9/16/2014 12:45:04 PM
Old thread but what the heck, beats why doesn't he/she like me anymore.

Second date, 9th hole on a miniature golf course. It was summer, she had long blonde hair, tan legs and was wearing a pair of short/shorts. I was trying to let her win but even as hard as I tried I was not that bad. lol She had this little girl child like persona and was getting more and more frustrated that she couldn't sink the putt. I was standing there watching, the beads of perspiration forming on her legs and the wind kept blowing her hair in her face. She had the most incredible smile and posture. Something about the way she carried herself. Reminiscent of the Wordsworth poem "Ode to the Perfect Women" Anyway, something came over me. Think it was the first time in my life I felt love. When we were apart I could feel her next to me. When I would think of her, I could smell her body. So strong in my mind I could taste her on my lips. Actually as I sit here and type this, I realize I still can. lol

That one: I will always be in "In Love" with
 alanj805
Joined: 4/16/2014
Msg: 99
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What's the fastest you've ever fallen HARD for someone??
Posted: 9/16/2014 12:50:22 PM


Infatuation is LARGELY based on physical chemistry. Even as you get to know your partner, you may not REALLY "get to know" them as they ARE, so much as gloss over the bits that DON'T fit with your particular fantasy. That's NOT to say that your feelings aren't REAL,it's just that, at the BEGINNING anyway, they are based on NO or little information and actual EXPERIENCE of who the other person IS. The actual term for that is called "cathexis".
It's ONLY with time that you TRULY get to know another person and that's NOT to say that the relationship will END, but many DO at that point. Usually 3 mos.-1 yr.
When someone tells me that they've fallen in "love" with someone and it ends that quickly, that indicates to me that it was an infatuation and when reality shoved it's way in through the fog of infatuation, they ended up discovering that the person "wasn't who they THOUGHT they were"...
The reality IS, they WERE that person, or the BEST version of themselves that they could be, but eventually that intrudes on the fantasy created by the infatuation and you discover that they're really NOT for you after all...
I think that we ALL are guilty of doing this,it's part of the human experience and I'm GLAD that I personally have gotten the chance to experience it. I STILL will enjoy it when it happens, but I am also aware of the dynamics and know that time always tells...


Yeah, I don't personally subscribe to this thought that there's some sort of demarcation between when you are attracted but fooled by your physiology, and when it's "real" because you think you now know them.

We're never done learning and changing; the thing that makes you realize this person is not so wonderful for you might happen after the first conversation, in a month, or maybe after years of living with them. And all this time, that initial attraction could remain, or it might wane, or become even stronger, independent of how you feel about them overall.

As far as I'm concerned, there's no sense to be made of it-- it's all magic. Which is fine by me.

Also, YOUR writing style is REALLY weird and HARD to READ.
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 100
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What's the fastest you've ever fallen HARD for someone??
Posted: 9/16/2014 1:43:23 PM
Also, YOUR writing style is REALLY weird and HARD to READ.

My apologies for using big words, then...LOL
Plainly put, when your GONADS do the talking, THAT'S infatuation. When you have ACTUALLY spent some TIME with a person and can claim to know more about WHO they are as a human being, besides their favourite colour, that is, THEN, you're entering the "love" territory.
I am leery of anyone who tells me that they "love"me before they know ANYTHING about me!
Also if you're feelings are killed at the first date or first conversation, then you aren't even dealing with an infatuation, right?
And yes, people grow and change but do you REALLY think that discovering 3 MONTHS after seeing someone that you've fallen out of love, is because you changed so VERY much? PLEASE!
Clear enough, for you?
And if you DON'T like MY posts, then DON'T read them!!!! I capitalize for emphasis as my "bold" feature doesn't work....
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 101
What's the fastest you've ever fallen HARD for someone??
Posted: 9/16/2014 8:45:54 PM
Twice, it only took the time it takes to glance across the room. The first was in college at a fraternity function; we saw each other from opposite ends of the dining hall. That relationship lasted somewhere between a year to a year and a half. I proposed, but she had to think about it because there were some incompatibilities (I see these now in hindsight). She had met another who initially treated her better, so her answer to me was no; she later regretted that decision as I found out after my divorce, but when we met up again post divorce, we each knew that she had made the correct decision about us (but not the other guy) and that was okay.

The second time was the sister of a coworker that had come to town to visit. Again, it was immediate attraction from across the room. All of the other guys there (except her brother) were falling all over her, and I figured that I had no shot with all of the competition who were fawning over her. I don't remember how it happened, but I was the one who ended up with her phone number and travelling to see her. Again, there were some issues, but this time the breakup was all my fault (stupidity). In hindsight, it probably wouldn't have worked out anyway.

On the flip side of the coin, the woman that I married and stayed with for 16.5 years was not an instant attraction at all (knew her for years before our first date). She looked too much like her older sister who was hideous in my opinion, but we had things in common. But she changed toward the end of our marriage (or maybe she reverted to what she was in her rebellious teens - I'm not sure).

So who is to say what works and what doesn't. I can say with a high degree of certainty that there is no chance for me no matter what the situation (for I now feel that there is no reward for the effort).
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 2/14/2014
Msg: 103
What's the fastest you've ever fallen HARD for someone??
Posted: 9/16/2014 11:42:56 PM
The fastest I have ever fallen for someone was with a guy I met strictly for hooking up. We talked online for a while, then met after a week at a public place, talked some more, then went to his place to hook up. Afterwards, we snuggled in bed, and he just held me and looked into my eyes and said something very sweet, and I just melted. Then he asked what my last name was and added me on FB while we were still in bed because he wanted to make sure he would see me again. I was pretty smitten then. So from the time we first met to me starting to really fall HARD - about one hour. (BTW, he did tell me he loved me about 9 months later).
 NikonGuy007
Joined: 4/1/2012
Msg: 104
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What's the fastest you've ever fallen HARD for someone??
Posted: 9/17/2014 8:29:55 PM
About 2 months.

Never experienced the whole, "Love at first sight"/"Instant chemistry" thing.

Can't even imagine it.
 PenelopeLeChat
Joined: 7/29/2014
Msg: 105
What's the fastest you've ever fallen HARD for someone??
Posted: 9/21/2014 8:45:12 PM
4 Shots of Jose Cuervo, a kiss and a marriage proposal all in the span of 2 hours. We were together 4yrs... and this is why I don't touch tequila. lol

LePew
 Dee4166
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 106
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What's the fastest you've ever fallen HARD for someone??
Posted: 9/21/2014 8:52:58 PM

4 Shots of Jose Cuervo, a kiss and a marriage proposal all in the span of 2 hours. We were together 4yrs... and this is why I don't touch tequila. lol


LOL....good one!!! Heard of a FEW "bottled marriages", some even lasting a LONG time....Maybe I should start going to bars again...Hmmmmm....lol
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 107
What's the fastest you've ever fallen HARD for someone??
Posted: 9/21/2014 9:18:50 PM
I am with Fargoman and the others, it is usually immediate. You just know. That is being in love and whether it grows to real love
and commitment, sometimes, and sometimes not.
 PenelopeLeChat
Joined: 7/29/2014
Msg: 108
What's the fastest you've ever fallen HARD for someone??
Posted: 9/22/2014 10:39:46 PM
Dee, just remember its kind of like Cinderella... except you need to do it on Cinco De Mayo while wearing a sombrero instead of glass slippers.

LePew
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