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 AUTHOR
 hazeleyedlady4u
Joined: 6/24/2007
Msg: 225
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Why do men use me??Page 6 of 16    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16)
"P", I agree that we do allow men to use us, but sometimes they are SO GOOD at it that we don't even know we are being used.
 mariadelasilva
Joined: 1/7/2007
Msg: 226
Why do men use me??
Posted: 6/29/2007 6:20:02 PM
It's not him I worry about. It's you, It seems you are in a pattern and need to re-evaluate yourself. Write down how previous relationship hurt you and use it as a tool to prevent future relationship or better yet get to know the bright women many people see, just by looking at your picture. Show people kindness and generousity is not weakness and maybe then you will find an equal.
 apiratefortyeight
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 228
Why do men use me??
Posted: 7/25/2007 3:02:26 AM
I will take you out sweetie
 eb3267
Joined: 1/29/2007
Msg: 231
Why do men use me??
Posted: 7/28/2007 10:28:42 AM
Msg 280 !! Yeah way to go..

Hun ( and others out there reading this post, Men & Women)

You NEED to figure out why you feel the need to FIX it. You need to stop that habit.. The person you need to look for, is the one that does not need Fixing.

Been there, done that, bought the tee shirt, then burned the mutha..

Maybe you should take a break from dating.. Take 6 months.. Find yourself.. Figure out why YOU feel the need to be needed..

Because what you're doing is longing/wanting/craving to be the "center" of his world.
Unknowingly/subcontiosly you're making him the center of your world, and hoping in return, that you become his..

Although you may not see it, that's the problem..

You NEED to get your-self together girl.. Cause you SHOULD want someone that WANTS to be with you, not NEEDS to be with you.. There's a big differance in the two.. If you look hard enough, you'll see it..

Hugs and Good Luck !!
Ems..
 Golfen Fool
Joined: 6/8/2007
Msg: 232
Why do men use me??
Posted: 7/28/2007 10:44:10 AM
Fourth and Ten and deep in the shadow of your own goal posts ....... PUNT
 His Eminence
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 240
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Why do men use me??
Posted: 7/28/2007 1:39:37 PM
YOU introduced YOURSELF to HIM as MS. DOORMAT and
have played your role so well!!

Basic common sense and self respect (with a healthy amount of shame), would cause one to HIDE such pathetic behaviour, ... NOT put it out in a public forum for all to see.

. Try some old fashioned dignity pills.

Sorry to be so BLUNT!
 underdogmike
Joined: 2/16/2007
Msg: 243
Why do men use me??
Posted: 8/5/2007 6:13:45 PM
Heres the the thing- people only get away with what you allow them to get away with. Enter the relationship from the aspect of dropping hints on what you expect from anyone important in your life. Through your non verbal reaction to everythign as well as how you relate to your dates and in some cases even saying what your expecting out of relationships you tend to fair better then hoping to get it. If you always do what you have always done, then you will continue to get the same crap as before. Hoping and praying that you get someone who is the "good guy" type ain't happening unless you take further involvement in the process by examining yourself and realizing what your looking for and ensuring that you get what your after! I am a guy, and I am seeing this as a vicious cycle that must be broken. Unfortunately all of this garbage that we all deal with from time to time happens on both sides of the sexes. You will eventually always find people who enjoy using the other for whatever they can, its our very nature (And I mean humans not men), sadly...

Unfortunately yet again some of my girlfriends have continually relayed stories of how they just couldn't leave their unhealthy relationships. I believe that we are all attracted to various things about the opposite sex that can not be thoroughly describe or quantified. And that more importantly being attracted to someone is not something youc an decide to be or not be. The trick comes in when you logically recognize problems in relationships, the emotional side of our brains say ...but I'm attracted and stand in the way of the logical brains attempt at evicting someone from your life.

Anyway just my viewpoints- Best of luck. Break the cycle. Find yourself a charming, confident, attractive man that ignites attraction in you and knows what you respond to. It isn't enough knowing what people's interests are, you have to know what they will react to.


Enjoy everything and anything wherever that may lead you!
 wvgin
Joined: 10/25/2005
Msg: 247
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Why do men use me??
Posted: 10/28/2007 2:45:55 PM
Good for your Liteinside....I hope life is treating you well.
 umightlikeme
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 248
Why do men use me??
Posted: 9/5/2008 8:04:08 AM
well i like your comment,, we teach people how to treat us,,, like you i was a door mat too, yet i still love her,,, whats up with that?

anyway good luck
 MelloDLyn
Joined: 10/25/2004
Msg: 249
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Why do men use me??
Posted: 9/6/2008 3:20:59 PM
They use u because u enable them to. Don't enable them!
 LeeAnne51
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 258
Why do men use me??
Posted: 9/6/2008 5:50:00 PM
People only do what you allow them to do, its your choice to let him use you...move on in life , let someone else be used.
 smart_and_sexy
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 267
Why do men use me??
Posted: 9/6/2008 7:16:19 PM
I'm a firm believer that you teach people how to treat you. In my opinion, you are showing him that this is acceptable behaviour for someone to be involved with you. If it isn't in your eyes, speak up and say something. Or do something. Sounds like he is taking advantage of your good nature and you are putting up with it. Good luck.
 merret
Joined: 7/8/2007
Msg: 274
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Why do men use me??
Posted: 9/28/2008 5:43:14 PM
My friend you should stop bieng a good woman with bad men.
 retiredfromworking.com
Joined: 9/24/2008
Msg: 280
Why do men use me??
Posted: 12/12/2008 4:25:14 PM
if i was you, i would let him go, and let the door hit him on the way out!!!!!
 taketime54
Joined: 10/7/2006
Msg: 284
Why do men use me??
Posted: 12/30/2008 8:55:15 AM
why are you with this dirtbag???? It is your fault because you don't respect yourself. You think because he screws you he cares....not at all....don't be so stupid...I am sorry but I am surprised that you don't get it. Have you ever tried dating someone???? Get real.
 jab786
Joined: 4/17/2008
Msg: 286
Why do men use me??
Posted: 12/31/2008 4:01:07 AM
kick his ass out of your house and out of your life.. i hate men who do these kined of things to lovley peoples like yourself. A women should be treated like roses.. to be loved and TCL. Hope you will fined the one you will love and care for rest of your life. My wishes are with you .
 kitcat1958
Joined: 9/19/2008
Msg: 288
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here is some advise
Posted: 2/12/2009 12:08:42 PM
Either drop his ass outside your door or disconnect the internet. Why are you on this site still looking. Remember that what is good for the goose is good for the gander. I have had the some shit in my life too. It hurts when you are making love to someone and they speak anothers name. My heart has been broken too but I keep looking . Not that I dont trust men, there is men out there that don't trust woman. I works both ways
 tned111
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 295
Why do men use me??
Posted: 7/11/2009 10:26:24 AM
ok want to hear from a man?Tough your going to here it is july are you still with him?ok so if you are you need to look at yourself and see why your afraid of being alone yes sometimes it sucks but you will grow and become stronger this is a self esteem issue and you enable him to walk on you.do you have seperation anxiety? babygirl your a woman leave his ass by the side of the road real men dont act that way!!!Real men appreciate that a woman any woman will have anything to do with them at all and the adore and respect women...bob
 TJSS6
Joined: 11/9/2007
Msg: 296
Why do men use me??
Posted: 7/11/2009 1:49:25 PM
Dump him and dump him quick. I just dumped someone who was using me only for sex (and it wasn't even that good). I dumped him twice before and he asked me to stay that things would change, they never did. So I dumped him finally, do it you will feel 10 times better and once that door closes a new one opens. His loss!!
 lil red corvette
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 297
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Why do men use me??
Posted: 7/11/2009 2:36:16 PM
a combination of 3" thick rose colored glasses , being a hopeless romantic and hoping to see the best in people.
This mix will see this user leave you when you have helped him to feel strong enough to go.
Know that you are empowering him... cut your losses and find someone new.
people will treat you exactly how you allow them to.
 goodcatchagain
Joined: 6/19/2009
Msg: 298
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Why do men use me??
Posted: 7/11/2009 2:48:28 PM
he has no intreast in you simple as that so get rid of him as he will just carry on and him driveing lorrys then hes proberly arrangeing to meet in diffrent citys he wont change just move on with your life
 originalNw
Joined: 11/7/2006
Msg: 299
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Why do men use me??
Posted: 7/11/2009 5:57:03 PM
Where were you " trained " to be a maid/cook/ ? Did you go to "a special xchool " ? Or you override you basic common knowledge that you "just BEING USED " ! Having someone to take care of is common act... But it goes with the other half of the partnership to be treated fairly,caring,and honestly. Being a long-haul trucker/or a delivery trucker doesn't give him anymore rights than the next person. If you wish to keep on this posistion of being used,adbused,and left behind when he "finds a newer younger model of your talents", then be all means stay and wonder what is happening. I will "go out on a limb here " and tell you that a front in-his -face is due...not to what might be later on...but how it should . That speach is for you and him. I wouldn't be surprised that he has a few other ladies "right now " in his sights. There's a old joke of a lady talking to a judge about "divorce ". And how it was a religion reason! She said to the judge " He thought he was god" in his way of thinking...I truly beleived he wasn't when I shot him in the leg!

 AFlexPlan
Joined: 2/26/2009
Msg: 307
Why do men use me??
Posted: 7/12/2009 10:00:11 PM
because you pick this kind of man. he's not around much - but that's ok by you; he's in debt - that's also ok. you know you don't like it but thats ok too. what IS the attraction? and is it just him? I read your profile (all of it). sounds like your still trying to please your dad. dad trucked around a lot too. when he was around he taught you his passions- not how to find your own; how to make him happy - not what made his daughter happy. so you became the poster child of the "use-me-cause-i'm-not-using-me" clubhouse.. you're not alone. I'm still beating my brain to find out how to make dad see my side of the story. but its MY story now. I'm not saying go be a hermit or never invite a man home. but learn the difference between sex and love. learn the difference between your passions and his. if you don't see any difference, your missing something. answer the questions: who are you? what makes you laugh? cry? tingle? and moan? I know "good men" are boring.. and life is supposed to be interesting. but don't ask ANY man to sing your song and NEVER sing harmony just because some guy asked.

Flex
 jacob8088
Joined: 9/6/2009
Msg: 308
Why do men use me??
Posted: 10/4/2009 2:18:52 AM
Maybe that's your problem, being kind and generous. Basically you are creating a path for some guys to use you as a doormat. If your gonna allow this to keep happening to you, then maybe its time your woman card got revoked.

Or on the other hand, you can grow a backbone and become a total b*tch. Your choice.
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