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 readthedamnprofile
Joined: 5/5/2010
Msg: 51
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?Page 3 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Dating is a process whereby you get to know people and figure out if you want to pursue something with them that goes beyond dating. It is perfectly fine to date more than one person but, you have to take the other parties feelings into account as well. Be honest about the fact you are seeing more than one person so no one you are dating is making you their number one priority while you view them as just one of a couple of options and, you cannot do this indefinitely either. Eventually you have to poop or get off the pot as the saying goes.

Be aware of the fact that the man/woman who overburdens his/her fishing line for too long of a time with many fish will probably have said line break and end up with no fish.
 tallblonde7
Joined: 9/5/2010
Msg: 52
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/15/2010 6:32:01 AM
My answer is yes. I don't see anything wrong with going out on 1-2 dates with multiple people. You aren't in a committed relationship yet.
 TDH49
Joined: 8/13/2010
Msg: 53
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/15/2010 7:38:37 AM
Unless one is exclusive then one is free to do whatever with whomever they so desire. As long as one is being frank and earnest with the people they are seeing. It's then up to those people to make a decision if they are ok with it or not. If it's a dealbreaker for them then they should move on, if it's not then they can make their own adjustments accordingly.
 SilentInk
Joined: 3/20/2010
Msg: 54
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/15/2010 1:04:19 PM

At least if she was honest about it, I'd get to Walgreens and get some Trojans and NO oral sex for her LOL!


Hmmm so you are saying if she told you she is *not* dating anyone else beside you, then you would forget the idea of Trojans and go bareback? If you go with that theory what about the men she slept with prior to meeting you? Even if she is doing other men while 'dating' you, all she has to do is take a shower and then she is good as "new".

I just don't see where the whole no oral sex bit comes in, because unless she is a virgin she's obviously been tampered with. Might as well then say that you will not go down on a woman ever unless she is a virgin, because the reality is if she is sexually active she had a paynish in there at one point or another...whether it was 3 hours before going on your date or 4 month before meeting you.
 Captain_Wayne
Joined: 5/24/2010
Msg: 55
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/16/2010 1:34:25 AM
This is a difficult question to answer because there are so many variables that the answer depends upon. I recently had a date with a gal and I kinda liked her and was interested in another date. However, one morning while at work a couple of days after we dated, I txted her with a harmless flirting message, something like "let's tell our bosses we are sick and run off to Baja for pina coladas." I got back a terse two-word reply. "Enough! Ok?" I was totally taken aback by this unwarranted stern bark. I decided not to wait for the Christmas rush and deleted her number from my cell. An hour or so later I got several apologetic messages from her in a row. She told me that she was seeing three different guys besides me and that they were filling up her cell messages so that she could not keep up. She also said that I was her favorite. Now maybe I am right, maybe I am wrong, but at that moment, I totally lost interest in her. I felt like she was casting her net into the water and then sorting thru the catch for the finest meat. Perhaps this is what you are supposed to do when you are dating, but you certainly should not tell your dates that they are being compared so that you can make your choice. I made her choice for her by eliminating myself from the pool.
 fashiongal2
Joined: 9/15/2010
Msg: 56
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/19/2010 8:41:13 PM

Ok, Tall Blonde, lets say you are dating 3 different guys. It gets sexual with you and one of the guys. Is it cool if he is sleeping with one of the other 2 women he is also dating?


Having sex with one of them would change things. But the post you responded to mentioned going out on just 1-2 dates with multiple people. I think most first or second dates ( especially ones from a dating site ) don't involve sex. When 2 people meet from a dating site, it often doesn't go beyond 1-2 dates.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 57
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/19/2010 11:51:19 PM
I don't really see the point of dating anyone else because I don't want 2 kiss anyone elase.

That's not a good enough reason. :)

I'm liking this guy. its so weird because he is still online and has told me he is ,talking, to other girls.

That's the reason why you should "play zone" and not one-on-one coverage (football defense analogy).

I am really a one guy girl but knowing he is still looking on the sitemakes me think I should keep my options open.

Good!

Here's the thing -- being a "one guy girl" or a "one girl guy" means that you desire monogamous situations. But not necessarily from the beginning, but with someone you want to be DatING. It's not looking over at the grass on the other side of the fence when you're a couple. That sort of thing.

Your situation is "are we DatING" yet? Well, obviously not -- because he's still prospecting. DatING -someone- implies that you're not prospecting any more -- it's established. You found someone you have already consistently been seeing, etc. An established 'relationship' hasn't happened yet, but you did find someone and you'll see where that goes.

Many times when you really dig someone and it's still in the "getting to know you phase" is when you SHOULD keep prospecting other options. Most of the time you don't know if they are or not, but you should always assume they are... and when you really dig someone, it will hurt more when rejected/blown-off if that happens, as opposed to being blown off by someone who you weren't that into anyway.

I would say stick to the one-woman/one-guy thing AFTER things have been established. I would say your situation, 5 dates in 3 weeks is a cut-off point for fish or cut bait if any one person wants to be a couple (ie be 'DatING'). He probably knows you really dig him, and if not, you should make that clear... and if at this point he's "unsure", that means he "lacks interest".... whether that be to having other good options that's enticing to him, or him feeling he can do better.
 Cat*Eyes
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 58
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is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/20/2010 1:11:59 AM
I think you should date more than one person at a time. You are not in a committed relationship with anyone of them.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 59
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/20/2010 8:10:35 AM

Unless one is exclusive then one is free to do whatever with whomever they so desire. As long as one is being frank and earnest with the people they are seeing. It's then up to those people to make a decision if they are ok with it or not.

If I'm not dating someone exclusively, I have no obligation to tell someone anything at all about what I'm doing with anyone else nor would I explain my intentions. It's a date. It might involve sex, but without the exclusivity up front, that's all it is.

Perhaps this is what you are supposed to do when you are dating, but you certainly should not tell your dates that they are being compared so that you can make your choice.

If you're not insisting on exclusivity, you should assume the person you're dating is dating and sleeping with several others and decide based on that assumption.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 60
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 9/20/2010 4:42:23 PM

I guess this direct thing really works lol

Yep. Whoda thunk?
 jezebellpgh
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 61
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 10/3/2010 5:40:54 AM
You can date around and not sleep with everyone you date. That is what people use to do to get to know the best possible person for them.
 Ineedyounow35
Joined: 9/20/2010
Msg: 62
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 10/4/2010 12:00:50 PM
For me to date more than one person at a time. Yes. For the women I am dating to date more than one person at a time . No! It is not okay. LOL. Okay seriously, it depends on what you consider a date to be. I see no problem with this also long as everyone is on the same page and no talk of being exclusive has happened. With that being said if no talk of being exclusive has occurred, than one should be able to do what they wish to do.
 worknovertime
Joined: 8/12/2010
Msg: 63
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 10/4/2010 1:05:34 PM
If there isn't any interest to move forward, then why would I keep dating that person? If there is interest... I wouldn't be seeing anyone else. In all fairness.

If I am dating someone and I learn that they are playing the field....their field would become one person smaller right then and there.

I get in line for no one, and I wouldn't want to be dating someone who would be willing to get in line either.
 sunbeach95
Joined: 9/27/2010
Msg: 64
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 10/5/2010 7:13:31 AM
Yes provided that you aren't having sex and not committed relationship with any of them.
 IHLBW
Joined: 6/2/2011
Msg: 65
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 4/24/2012 3:26:03 AM
Acceptable to whom? The only people it has to be acceptable to are the people involved in the situation.

There's no such thing as "acceptable" or "not acceptable"; it's like trying to define "normal"; there's no absolute standard of morality here. What is acceptable must be determined only by the people involved in the situation. Honesty is key, though, because without honesty you remove informed choice from the picture for each individual.

Personally, I think dating more than one person at a time (no matter how you define "dating"), so long as everybody understands the situation, is wonderful. I find it much better than dating one person at a time; I also tend to get treated better and to be able to get to know people more slowly without any kind of desperation or neediness motivating me. For me, it works best to build friendships with people first and then go from there, but to each his/her own.
 tuxqueot
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 66
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 4/24/2012 5:57:18 AM
a quote I saw on one of those facebook images that people repost over and over...

attributed to Johnny Depp: If you fall in love with 2 people, choose the second. Because if you were really in love with the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second one.

When I started dating after my ex-wife left, I would not date or even look for anyone to date if I was seeing someone, because I feel I have to give the current person a chance to work out or not. No one is perfect and no relationship will be perfect, so I have to be willing to give a relationship my undivided attention.

Another quote, this one from Albert Einstein: Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.

Give your relationship the attention it deserves. You may be surprised with the outcome.

This is just my opinion, I could be wrong.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 67
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is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 4/24/2012 8:23:34 AM

IHLBW:

Personally, I think dating more than one person at a time (no matter how you define "dating"), so long as everybody understands the situation, is wonderful. I find it much better than dating one person at a time; I also tend to get treated better


I am with you right up to the part about “I also tend to get treated better”. If you literally mean what you wrote, then I am somewhat surprised that you would admit to it in a public venue.

You’re saying that you get “treated better” because you’re dating multiple men, and they are competing for your attention?
 Sparkledustpajamas
Joined: 4/6/2012
Msg: 68
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 4/24/2012 8:37:49 AM

is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?



There is no black and white answer to this question. I don't respond to people whose profiles state they are here for casual dating, because I expect they probably do date multiple people. I focus on one person until I hit a dead end, before going on a date with someone new.
 celrian23
Joined: 3/27/2010
Msg: 69
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 5/17/2012 9:01:33 AM
I agree with what others have said, its ok to "date" more than one person but if you are thinking about getting intimate with one of them you should discontinue with the others. If these people are genuinely interested in a potential relationship and you've led them to believe that is what you are looking for; you shouldn't be deceiving them or going behind their back.. no your not exclusive until you've discussed it but I just think its common courtesy and when I decide I like someone enough that I want to pursue something with them I stop spending time with others in a dating aspect and focus my attention on just that one person. But in the interim while your just getting to know people and figuring out if there's commonalities and chemistry I think its acceptable to see more than one person as other posters have said its how you'll find out what you like/don't like and see who might be the best fit for you.
 Texan_Gal
Joined: 10/22/2011
Msg: 70
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 5/17/2012 9:20:04 AM
It's acceptable as long as everyone's on the same page. I do not date multiple men and would not date someone who dates multiple women.
 Frogy27
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 71
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History
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 5/17/2012 9:48:06 AM
if your dating more then one person at a time have safe sex beacuse you no ur have sex with all of them i dated a few woman who told after sex oh ur the 3 man i slept with this week iam like wtf . the always say it to keep there options open and test playing filed. that why i dont think all date any one any more woman run around. my last gf after leaving togother for 8 months told me she had been seening other men to make shure that this is what she wanted like wtf. come to think of it my kids mom was ****ing around the hole time she was pragent her awner was iam all ready nocked up why cant i have fun now that i cant get pergent any more. like why do woman do this shit. now that i want a relship just for sex cant find any. but if i want a long term i can have a gf but the will run around just my opoine
 Frogy27
Joined: 5/12/2011
Msg: 72
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is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 5/17/2012 9:49:16 AM
but if ur dateing more then one guy ur sleeping with them all hello thats wrong
 thomas10112012
Joined: 4/23/2012
Msg: 73
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is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 5/17/2012 10:14:37 AM
I agree with you. going on loads of "dates" coffee, drink etc is fine.
We all want to find that someone special. But when you think you have - hold on to them damn tight!!! And i don't mean get psycho on her (or him), just constantly be there for her without her feeling suffocated (she'll just flip and run then, men too) - that's hard if your not seeing each other often though. Everyone is different and have different "time-frames" for dating. Three times a week is not enough or too much for some. Remember - She may not feel the same about you at the same time, but if she see's your always available for her (your not going on dates) then she may think more about the situation and consider putting more effort into this one "date" than playing the field.

"Love" is an effort not a chore.
The more you put into it the more you may get back...
 paperdonkey
Joined: 5/10/2012
Msg: 74
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 5/17/2012 10:17:43 AM
I like multiple women so yes it's ok to date more than one person.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 75
is it acceptable to date more than one person at one time?
Posted: 5/17/2012 11:16:58 AM
You can date around and not sleep with everyone you date.


I agree with what others have said, its ok to "date" more than one person but if you are thinking about getting intimate with one of them you should discontinue with the others.

I rally can't believe how many people have so much difficulty with the idea that regardless of what they. they can't assume the people thry're dating are behaving the same way. Sure, it's a no brainer to date several people at the same time and sleep with none of them, but that isn't the issue, at least not for me nor for the women I've generally dated. The people you're not sleeping with could very well be sleeping with all of the other prople they're dating, so after you've dated a guy for a month and not slept with him, you're ready to narrow down your field to one person, that person feels the same way, even though he's slept with 3 different women in last 2 weeks in between dates with you, and you vecome exclusive. Are you really comfortable with that or does it not bother you? You're both multidating, so you owe each no explanation of your dating and even though you haven't slept with any of your dates, the guy you just became exclusive with has been sleeping with all of his dates, except for you.

If that doesn't really bother you, then, well ok. I personally think that's weird and if I were multidating, I wouldn't ever be the guy that ended up in an exclusive relationship with one of those of women. I like the fact that I know that the woman I'm in a relationship with hasn't slept with anyone but me since meeting me and starting to date me and all of the women I've been in relationships with have felt the same way. If a woman really didn't care that I'd been dating her and sleeping with other women until deciding to be exclusive sometime later after we'd been dating a while, I'm not sure I could ever think she'd care to much about me being faithful. After all, she was dating me while I sleeping ith other women, so what is so magical about some arbitrary day we say we wont sleep with anyone else? It could have been the day before or 2 days later and it wouldn't make any difference, so what marks that day as special in any way beyond a few words? I mean, if it was ok with her that I slept with someone after the last time I saw, how much difference could it make if I did it again?

There's just something special about meeting someone and knowing that neither of you will be with anyone else for however long you're together. Neithe my fiancee nor I have dated anyone else since the day we met and that was important to me to consider her relationship material. If she didn't care, then I'd have considered just a date that might get me laid, but otherwise to whom I had no obligation for anything.

I like multiple women so yes it's ok to date more than one person.

I like multiple women too, so if I wasn't interested in a relationship, I'd multi date and sleep with as many as I could. If I'm interested in a relationship, I'm interested in dating one woman.
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