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 K9BITESME
Joined: 8/18/2012
Msg: 411
Sex in the woman mind after 40.Page 13 of 25    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25)
I am exactly 40, and never cared for it in the past as much as I do now. I even found out I have a bit of a wild/freak side to me. lol. I will spare you the details, but I guess it's true what they say, we want it more when we are older.
 kiminAylmer
Joined: 4/18/2012
Msg: 412
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Sex in the woman mind after 40.
Posted: 9/5/2012 8:50:02 AM
Hahahaha your crazy Beachesofnc, I hope that the cold shower helped. Your grandma was right. Oh by the way the sack of bran is adjusted acording to age. Good luck
 1388SmartBlonde
Joined: 5/15/2011
Msg: 413
Sex in the woman mind after 40.
Posted: 9/6/2012 2:25:49 AM
I am far more active now and had more sex with my ex-fiance in 2.5 years than I did with my ex-husband in 25 years. Turned out that he was gay which explained a lot. But I digress...

After a long drought, one is always thirsty. But not all waterholes are healthy or drinkable, so until I find that one clear stream I want to drink deeply from, I'll just paddle my own canoe.

And PantiJam, I live near you in Cedar Rapids...there are none in Iowa that are looking for marriage. Those that are have no money or are in poor health which is why I plan to relocate to a bigger population region next spring.
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 414
Sex in the woman mind after 40.
Posted: 9/6/2012 8:04:21 AM

After a long drought, one is always thirsty. But not all waterholes are healthy or drinkable, so until I find that one clear stream I want to drink deeply from, I'll just paddle my own canoe.


Interesting since I might well be paddling my canoe in a different direction myself soon.. Just got my condo evaluated and am considering some tropical island in the sun.... If remote enough maybe there are some men that are not on the internet.. Heck and we might establish a real soulful connection...

Besides I will not need to worry about too much of a wardrobe down there so I might just bankroll a few pennies.. lol

nativerock
 3dogsandme
Joined: 5/18/2012
Msg: 415
Sex in the woman mind after 40.
Posted: 9/6/2012 8:21:13 AM
More then when I was younger to be sure and I think that is because life is less pressured now. But more when it is the right person. I dont think about it as randomly or indiscriminantly as I think men do. I could be wrong about that.
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 416
Sex in the woman mind after 40.
Posted: 9/6/2012 8:32:46 AM
My limited experience is that women 35-40 are dreaming about sex 2 weeks out of 4 and are insatiable when they find the right man.

For most there is still a keen interest all their lives, but for others not so much past 50, for both men and women. For men interest doesn't always traslate into ability.

Though like some men have mentioned on other threads, it does seem like when many woman are in their early 20s they are more willing have a fling with a man they wouldn't consider when they are 35 +, they get more choosy. I doubt that has to do with libdo.

Of course individuals always differ from the mainstream, but there are general trends.

I am not an expert, but this has been what I have seen.
 TD625
Joined: 2/11/2012
Msg: 417
Sex in the woman mind after 40.
Posted: 9/6/2012 9:16:48 AM
Yes, I'm with you. It's always on my mind.
 60s_kid
Joined: 8/10/2012
Msg: 418
Sex in the woman mind after 40.
Posted: 9/6/2012 11:22:42 AM
This is certainly an eye opener. I love a positive forum!
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 419
Sex in the woman mind after 40.
Posted: 9/6/2012 11:35:26 AM

I am sure that many of you out there, like me, have experienced those that were good in bed, showed it often, and wanted it returned just as much. And, I am sure that there are many out there, like me, who cared about some, loved a few, and yet, their sex drive and desire far differed from yours, or waned over time, no matter how hard you tried to keep it fresh, enjoyable, and often. The end result for me at least, is that I need an active willing partner that wants me as much as I do them, shows it in every way possible, desires it in every way possible, and works as hard at pleasing me as I do her.


Well I disagree with you.. I believe a great relationship is built on a great friendship.. It is normal for a couple[''s sex drive to calm down a bit after sometime of being together.. If you do not have a great love for one another you will not work it out.. or especially now in our last chapter if your partner is ill most likely you will be long down the road in search of another..


Once you have that equal in and out of bed, all the rest just falls into place and it does not need to mean marriage, or living together, but rather......a meeting of the minds, body, and soul that is just right for the two of you.......OK!! I am thinking about sex again, so still within that one minute range.....;)


Although sex is important in any relationship it should not form the crux of it.. Remember you spend a whole lot more time out of bed together than in it.

namaste
nativerock
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 420
Sex in the woman mind after 40.
Posted: 9/6/2012 7:53:54 PM
I remember when I hit 37 got divorced met my future husband and never looked back--I think once a woman has experienced a great connection that nurtures her sexuality and her emotional, mental and physical needs it is easy for us to accept our own sexuality--just because we might not be actively involved with someone at the present moment doesnt mean we wont be happy to take it all out when we meet the right guy later on

To me sex for the purpose of having sex to get off I can take care of myself and do a better job at it than most men --but finding that right person and kissing them, tasting them, touching them--and having them kiss, taste and touch you--well then it becomes about two people being together and that is about the best stuff on earth! Its not one dimensional--it isnt flatline--it involved extra senses and emotions
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 421
Sex in the woman mind after 40.
Posted: 9/6/2012 8:37:14 PM
I remember when I hit 37 got divorced met my future husband and never looked back--I think once a woman has experienced a great connection that nurtures her sexuality and her emotional, mental and physical needs it is easy for us to accept our own sexuality--just because we might not be actively involved with someone at the present moment doesnt mean we wont be happy to take it all out when we meet the right guy later on


I married my husband at 17 and we eventually divorced while I was in my early thirties...he had been my only partner. For me, our sex life was lacking. Most of the time I just wanted it to be over with so I could go to sleep. Every once in a while he would take me just to brink... and then it would be over.
For years I used to think it was me...and he re-inforced that thought process by calling me"frigid" (that was THE word back then) lol.

However, when I met my second husband a few years later, I found out that wasn't true..... he awakened feelings/a fire in me that I didn't know existed. It was then that I realized what I had been missing all those years. What a difference in being with someone who knew what he was doing in the bedroom. Wow!!!!

You're right giggles....we just need to find that right person that we are compatible with. I know that if and when I meet him I am willing to give a 100 percent of myself...in all ways.


...mae
 homycups
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 422
Sex in the woman mind after 40.
Posted: 9/8/2012 8:36:20 PM
1388 Blonde.. You said it best.. Being thirsty.. but waiting for clean waters to take a long drink.. love it!!
 homycups
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 423
Sex in the woman mind after 40.
Posted: 9/8/2012 8:37:45 PM
oh and yes.. I paddle my own damn canoe as well.. no one knows how to control their ore.
 waitingforyoutoo
Joined: 7/19/2012
Msg: 424
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Sex in the woman mind after 40.
Posted: 9/8/2012 9:21:20 PM
Did I miss the canoe rides.... Drat! Oh well maybe I will not miss the white water rafting.
 LG2727
Joined: 1/20/2010
Msg: 425
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Sex in the woman mind after 40.
Posted: 9/10/2012 8:57:12 PM
Men think about sex all the time and would sell thier souls for it? Really? Are these single men or in a relationship guys? Is that only during intermission of the football games etc. or is that only when they are trying to make you thier next conquest? I'm just not seeing it! I don't know one woman in a relationship that isnt feeling neglected in that area by the guy, so, I think that shoots that theory all to hell.
 nativerock
Joined: 10/16/2010
Msg: 426
Sex in the woman mind after 40.
Posted: 9/11/2012 9:19:51 AM

I've been in more than one relationship where my partner would have liked sex more often, but was too inhibited or passive to make it all that exciting for me. I'd have still done a lot for really great sex.


Very unusual from my past experience because men usually are the ones that can go all day all night mary ann.. Okay after the initial honeymoon stage is over might get reduced to 5 times a week..

However those were younger days, maybe things have changed while I have been on hiatus..
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 427
Sex in the woman mind after 40.
Posted: 9/11/2012 10:53:02 AM
^^^ Guys sure as hell talk about sex alot.


all day all night mary ann


Now how does that really work? Methinks like the people who say "I have not slept one wink."

Does the honeymoon always end? Seriously, I don't know and will have to find out.

Those relationships where we got along that well we didn't live together so were only together 24/7 for 5 days at most. All day all night I wouldn't get much else done, but on the upside would lose more weight.

5 times a weeks doesn't sound bad for the long haul.
 waitingforyoutoo
Joined: 7/19/2012
Msg: 428
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Sex in the woman mind after 40.
Posted: 9/12/2012 3:06:37 AM
LG with the right woman, a man would have sex no matter what. During a football game, waking up, lunch time on the table, afternoon by a fireplace getting rug burns even and in a car(anywhere/anytime). Men are orientated to have sex...it is the ladies job to keep them interested in it. You stop giving it up or start being I want this position only, then you get boring and its over. You neglect a man with it only when you want it, it gets boring. After a long period of time this does happen in a relationship most of the time. If a mans sex drive is higher then the females either she puts up with him or he leaves/roams.
If a woman wants a man to have sex with them be aggressive and make the first move. A man hates always having to start it. Grab a short dress with no panties pretend to drop something and bend over in front of him. If that doesn't get something started he's into men.
Let me add one more thing: If you just want it in the bedroom at night with the lights out then you set yourself up for failure. No spice=no sex life, just the same old boring routine every time. That does not mean it would not be good, just the same old thing day in day out like a factory worker.
 MutedEnthusiasm
Joined: 7/8/2011
Msg: 429
Sex in the woman mind after 40.
Posted: 9/12/2012 3:27:35 AM

^^^Grab a short dress with no panties pretend to drop something and bend over in front of him. If that doesn't get something started he's into men.

The mere sight of a vagina makes a man horny? Or else he’s gay? I didn’t know that.
 liberalearner
Joined: 5/3/2012
Msg: 430
Sex in the woman mind after 40.
Posted: 9/12/2012 8:31:42 AM
Ok everyone seems to have slightly diff. opinions as is to be expected since we are all not clones. When I was married I had a very able manly man that even into his mid 50's never had a problem "performing". Unfortunately I lost him to cancer. I have had very mixed issues while dating in the last few years. If men in their 50's still think of sex so much what happens physically when they can't get very hard? Is viagra the only choice. I am a sensitive person and assume it is my fault if I can't make a man feel good. After several not so great adventures, I am now more inhibited due to being afraid that i am not good enough for a guy of this age. Is there something I am missing? Does a man get more excited if the sexual activities are out of the basic normal bed? Would i have better luck tipping our canoe and doing it in the water, in the woods near a highway? What are some exciting places that might be more arousing to an older guy? Any advice is appreciated.
 BLONDE_ANGEL845
Joined: 6/30/2012
Msg: 431
Sex in the woman mind after 40.
Posted: 9/12/2012 8:47:06 AM
Now that I am older, I want someone that...we both turn eachother out...
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 432
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Sex in the woman mind after 40.
Posted: 9/12/2012 11:14:09 AM

Any advice is appreciated.


Well, I hardly think you should believe its all your fault if things don't come together. If you believe the forums, every guy over 40 has trouble getting it up. being 20 years down the road from there has not brought that kind of trouble to me, however, I am beginning the think I am really unusual in the grand scheme of things.

Its been many years since i did it in an open field or up against a tree in the woods, but that is largely because my lady friends felt that the bedroom was more to their liking. However, if you are into those things and the guy is willing, go for it.

In general, however, I would try for the middle of the morning or afternoon as an opportunity for an adventure. I can definitely say that I am no longer the kind of night owl I once was, and I wake up a lot slower than I used to.....

Get him before he has any booze in his belly right after some mutually enjoyable activity involving exercise and fresh air. Sit on his lap on the front porch swing wearing a suitably flowing skirt. Wave to the passing neighbours while he is inside you and suck on a Popsicle languorously. That should do it......
 DragonBits
Joined: 1/6/2012
Msg: 433
Sex in the woman mind after 40.
Posted: 9/12/2012 1:13:51 PM

What are some exciting places that might be more arousing to an older guy? Any advice is appreciated.


Sex in the mind of men greater than 50 often is only in the mind.

I really don't think your performance in bed should be a worry for you, and I doubt being more kinky right away is the answer.

Men respond most to feeling secure and not under performance anxiety. So doing it outside in a rush is more likely to backfire I would think. Taking it slow and getting to know each other, encouraging the man while being clear what you want should be enough. Even saying something like I have never tried this before, can you show me? Something to the effect that lets the man feel like he is taking the lead.

The first few times shouldn't be a problem for any man unless he has health problems.

I am a little leery of a woman that wants to be chained up in a dungeon the fist time we have sex, There is a natural progression from first experience to becoming more kinky as you both learn to trust each other. If we have to start with the dungeon, then I have to wonder what the progression will be?

At some point after you get to know each other, there are theme hotels that have different sorts of rooms with different themes.

At least this is what I am guessing, I have no experience with men, and only limited experience with sexual experimentation.
 *mae* flowers
Joined: 1/15/2006
Msg: 434
Sex in the woman mind after 40.
Posted: 9/12/2012 1:16:46 PM

Sit on his lap on the front porch swing wearing a suitably flowing skirt. Wave to the passing neighbours while he is inside you and suck on a Popsicle languorously. That should do it......


Uh huh...yeah. Sounds like a perfect set-up shot for a porn vid..hehe

One thing I know for sure....having a good imagination and willing to be a wee bit adventuresome keeps things new and exciting for you and your partner. *Big shitfaced grin*

...mae
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 435
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Sex in the woman mind after 40.
Posted: 9/12/2012 1:23:03 PM
That and often made trips to the adult toy store to see what is there to try, interesting, and somewhat new and exciting!! You can have a wonderful date doing that, talking and sharing what you like and do not like while browsing and checking out what each other likes and does not!

I am all for a good imagination, and a willingness to experiment with those things that just may expand your sexual knowledge and pleasure with or without your partner.....;)

cd
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