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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > He has been married 4 times.........a danger sign or what...      Home login  
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 HondoGal
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 128
He has been married 4 times.........a danger sign or what...Page 7 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

So yeah, it kinda sucks being able to commit and having this as evidence to support it. Giving a ring within 2 years of saying 'I love you' is the right thing to do, yet, here I am.

Very embarrassing. ~Clooney

You’ve nothing to be embarrassed about. At least you made honest women (as they say) out of your partners. Today when so many are very quick to join in holy roommate it is preferable to see someone who actually makes a commitment. I would never live with someone without the benefit of marriage. The thing I see that is wrong with multiple divorces is that it seems easier to walk out [divorce] when things don’t appear to be going right rather than working at a solution. After two or three divorces the next one is likely very easy to contemplate.



If the marriages were of short duration then I would certainly be wary of some inherent flaw within the guy. i.e alcoholism, violence, gambling, cheating, lying, lack of finances etc.~petula


I agree and I apply the same logic to men who have live-in relationships.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 129
He has been married 4 times.........a danger sign or what...
Posted: 12/2/2014 12:14:27 PM

Some are people addicted to the wedding cake, the white dress etc I guess.


Believe me, I'm not addicted to the cost of that experience.

However..the honeymoon was worth the investment so no complaints:)
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 130
He has been married 4 times.........a danger sign or what...
Posted: 12/2/2014 3:55:59 PM
I was referring to the woman's side of things with the dream wedding etc that they fantasise about from childhood. But you may be referring to alimony, right?? However the "honeymoon period" doesn't last and then reality sets in. I wonder how many men would actually marry if the woman didn't insist on a ring on it or no go. However they do say that the happiest people are married men and single women. So go figure.
 activemelaney
Joined: 9/8/2012
Msg: 131
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He has been married 4 times.........a danger sign or what...
Posted: 12/2/2014 4:28:53 PM
Married and divorced 4 times....nope

Married and widowed 4 times....call Americas Most Wanted

Not for me but each to their own. Not sure what the purpose of a fourth or eventually fifth marriage would be. Lots of other excuses to have a party and eat cake....Groundhog Day, St Patricks Day, Superbowl Sunday...
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 132
He has been married 4 times.........a danger sign or what...
Posted: 12/2/2014 5:32:05 PM
Maybe he is Mel Gibson
 Debisue64
Joined: 1/19/2014
Msg: 133
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He has been married 4 times.........a danger sign or what...
Posted: 12/2/2014 6:06:00 PM
Well.. I was married for 13 yrs.. and divorced for 14.. Is that a red flag?.. :))

My grandmother now.. was married like 12 times .. or was it 13?.. seriously folks.. I think she had more fun than I
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 134
He has been married 4 times.........a danger sign or what...
Posted: 12/23/2014 3:54:26 PM

Lots of other excuses to have a party and eat cake....Groundhog Day, St Patricks Day, Superbowl Sunday...


Or simply because I like cake.
 BreakingInside
Joined: 11/15/2014
Msg: 135
He has been married 4 times.........a danger sign or what...
Posted: 12/23/2014 4:19:29 PM

He has been married 4 times.........a danger sign or what...


Well, I would suspect the dude isn't very bright. One time is more than enough.
 petula1908
Joined: 8/9/2014
Msg: 136
He has been married 4 times.........a danger sign or what...
Posted: 12/23/2014 5:43:58 PM
Have you been on the phone, heard his voice and Skyped to see how old he may really be? I would not get too worked up about a man who you have yet to meet. Heartache? Really?

That he has four failed marriages would be a problem for me and he says he wants a fifth???. How long has he been with the three longer ones? He would have to be about seventy five - eighty to make them of any great length of time.

I wouldn't bother with someone who lives at a distance either. You have been in contact for a month, that is way too long without a physical meet. So arrange a meeting as soon as but who travels to where, is up to you, I guess. Halfway perhaps? Be interested to hear the outcome.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 137
He has been married 4 times.........a danger sign or what...
Posted: 12/24/2014 1:14:14 PM
If he's been married 4 times, then he's an idiot.

According to the Chinese proverb,

which calls a person, an idiot, for being fooled by the same processes. Either that or he's one of those dudes that enjoys getting kicked in the sac. Because 4 marriages sounds like a lot of kicks to the ball-bag more than it does anything else.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 138
He has been married 4 times.........a danger sign or what...
Posted: 12/24/2014 1:19:04 PM
Married 4 times?
Hopeless optimist, or very slow learner.
Cindy O
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 139
He has been married 4 times.........a danger sign or what...
Posted: 12/24/2014 2:03:39 PM
Time to change the wedding vows from "Til death do us part" to "Til the next one comes along".
 rose_chanel
Joined: 12/7/2014
Msg: 140
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He has been married 4 times.........a danger sign or what...
Posted: 12/30/2014 7:35:35 PM
You took the words right out of my mouth: RED FLAG.
Proceed with extreme caution.
Find out who he REALLY is before you get all ga-ga over this guy.
Peace.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 141
He has been married 4 times.........a danger sign or what...
Posted: 12/30/2014 8:19:04 PM
A better question would be why you want to be married 4 times. I probably wouldn't want to get married again if I was divorced twice.
 ClooneysTutor
Joined: 3/30/2014
Msg: 142
He has been married 4 times.........a danger sign or what...
Posted: 12/30/2014 9:24:28 PM
Question to all the morality experts.

What advice do you give someone that's been married 3+ times?

Tell women you'll NEVER do it again?

Do us many married folk have hope in finding true love?

How the fvck would you approach dating if you knew nobody would accept you for a LTR?

I wouldn't spend a fvcking dime, period.

Yet, I'm the eternal optimist. I'm don't mind or lament over buying a drink or a dinner. I hope someone will at least ask me to explain.

Rant over.
 AlienHumanHybrid
Joined: 10/31/2014
Msg: 144
He has been married 4 times.........a danger sign or what...
Posted: 12/30/2014 9:41:33 PM
I guess it was just a matter of time until some hacker messed this up
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 145
He has been married 4 times.........a danger sign or what...
Posted: 12/31/2014 12:07:52 AM
Once again, lol! Folks, please read the actual thread, eh?

Married 4 times, widowed once, divorced three. She's met his kids. Seems what was needed was for them to talk, learn, dream, explore, practice. Pay attention. Not much different than I'd recommend to anyone.

I have an Aunt, who I loved prodigiously, who dropped out of school in sixth grade to take care of her brothers and sisters. Married at 14, to have a home to take several of the children to. Failed. Married at 17--annulled because he was already married. Married at 20, three kids, widowed at 24. Married at 24, widowed at 67, Married at 67, died at 70. She was a wonderful, tender mother. She was adventurous and opinionated. She was gorgeous, and something like 100 grandkids and great grands miss her horribly, and remember her lovingly. For all that she was married five times, I don't believe there was one damned thing wrong with her. Not one single solitary red flag.

Sure, I'd say go slow. Think I'd pretty much offer that advice across the board.

 CuriousInDB
Joined: 7/12/2014
Msg: 146
He has been married 4 times.........a danger sign or what...
Posted: 12/31/2014 4:26:08 AM
I have a friend who offered an interesting perspective in a conversation a few months ago on those of us that have been married "multiple" times. She said, "I think it's just wonderful that someone is so lovable that so many people WANTED to marry them."

There you go. It's all a matter of perspective.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 147
He has been married 4 times.........a danger sign or what...
Posted: 12/31/2014 6:47:56 AM
I think I may have posted to this thread earlier, and I may have had a
different answer than I do now....I'm too lazy to scroll...and I'm far too
busy...hahahahahaha!

I used to think a lot of things and had my own ideas of what was good
for me or not. Now I think I'm more willing to say the heck with it and take
a leap of faith or whatever...take a chance.

It would depend on the person more than the number of marriages. I'd
probably be interested in "why", but I've got my own WTF's (mostly humorous,
I assure you) and life isn't as perfect as we'd like to pretend. Also needs at an
older age aren't the same as when we're younger (ie...having a family, getting your
first mortgage, attempting to get your career in gear). I'm past all that now.

So yeah, not a danger sign, but a proceed with caution sign.

Mr. Clooney is an example of someone that has been able to retain a love of women,
who still wants to find true love and believes in marriage after having 3. Lots of people
in here are bitter and swearing to never do it again after 1 or 2. Who would I rather know?
I'd marry Mr. Clooney in a NY minute, if I wasn't so old, so far away, so not his type and
so on and so on...hahahaha!

Hanging around in fishes definitely gives you a new perspective of things you felt so sure
about before.
 the_summerwind
Joined: 9/11/2014
Msg: 148
He has been married 4 times.........a danger sign or what...
Posted: 12/31/2014 6:48:50 AM

There is no guarantee any of us will have a truly happy relationship but we will never know if we don't try.


I remember a good friend of mind telling me about his daughter, and in talking with her about the subject of love,marriage etc. When is the right time if that is in the future.
He said to her.... never do any of those things till first: your already & very happy with yourself, are very confidence, good self esteem, good work ethic, etc and also with the new life partner in question.

So in other words, its not all about someone making you happy, but someone who is there already & can share with & in each other success & happiness together. And when we all hit those bumps in the road.... hopefully the shock absorbers will lessen the blow to carry on & not the next new model. As all things run there course. Some longer then others.
And sometimes I think for a lot of folks, that marriage is a lot like a rebound, yet the title of marriage, or thinking that its some kind of guarantee is no where near that, or can make the glue stick together if the foundation is a-little more on terra firma first. Just my observation....cheers
 AlienHumanHybrid
Joined: 10/31/2014
Msg: 149
He has been married 4 times.........a danger sign or what...
Posted: 1/2/2015 10:29:47 PM
3....8....13....18...... I'd say the math is against it working out.
 openrider
Joined: 11/16/2015
Msg: 150
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He has been married 4 times.........a danger sign or what...
Posted: 12/23/2016 8:11:56 AM
sounds like a jerry springer show
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 151
He has been married 4 times.........a danger sign or what...
Posted: 12/23/2016 2:25:00 PM
I guess the question is, a danger sign of...what, exactly? Is there a guarantee that any relationship is never going to end? If someone wants "happy ever after", are they denying themselves a "happy for now, until I meet that right person" experience? should we sometimes try to date for the sake of dating?
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 152
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He has been married 4 times.........a danger sign or what...
Posted: 12/23/2016 2:44:58 PM
I can understand if a partner dies, you marry too young and have another failed marriage but once it gets past three, I would be very wary. I dont know anyone who has married more than twice in my acquaintance and it seems to be more of an American thing. Clooneys, you are only in your forties yet and you say you finished all the marriages. Red flags!!! Let alone the reduced financial situation you must be in. Celebrities of course marry many times but they are living on a whole other plane.

As for the comment that people are so loveable that many want to marry them, it is a sweeping statement as many people marry for lots of reasons other than love. If the marriages dont last, then how loveable are they?

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