Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  >      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Stal
Joined: 12/3/2004
Msg: 211
why do I (+ most women) love assholes??Page 8 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
Because......you're yet another ***hole lover. So, thanks ever so much for your contribution in making all this world's ***holes succeed even more in being the prolific ***holes they are.

Cheers,
Stal
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 218
why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 1/7/2008 9:06:23 PM
coz most girls go 4 look and not porsonalty!


Oh, gosh, not me! I go for *porsonalty* every. single. time.


 FescheLola
Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 222
why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 1/12/2008 9:43:52 PM
Take away the "most women".

If you attract and are attracted to ***holes YOU are in the minority.

Don't try and drag normal women down with you.
 okie tex girl
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 224
view profile
History
why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 1/15/2008 9:26:54 PM
My opinion: a man can not be an ***hole to you unless you have put yourself in the position to be treated badly. If you have to wonder " what is going on with this relationship" then girls, open your eyes. There is nothing there. It's time to move on. Yes, we all have met men that we have been attracted to, and maybe they are also attracted to us ( you), but, if you take your time, keep your eyes wide open, use some common sense, you know in your heart if it is right. Really, you can know that pretty quickly. Never lower your standards and keep your beliefs, and most of all be a lady. Things will work out if it is meant to be.
 EagleEric
Joined: 11/2/2006
Msg: 229
why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 3/7/2008 11:18:58 AM
Basically you're a neurotic. You're attracted to certain definable qualities in men that have been ingrained in your psyche since childhood. You're no different from the women who keeps hooking up with abusive difficult men who often have problems with alcohol or drugs (legal of illegal).

Although you don't realize it, you've have met many OK men in your life with whom you could have had a successful life, but you've blown them off for various reasons like they weren't exciting, didn't part their hair correctly (for you), didn't dance the hokey pokey, or for inumerable other unimportant reasons.

Many men and women look for an undefinable connection between themselves and the opposite sex when they first meet. Unfortunately the drunk always recognizes the enabler when he meets her and knows exactly how to manipulate her. The abuser always recognizes the abused and knows exactly the line to lay upon her too.

Many women (and men too) have such a distorted view of love and the elements of what makes a good relationship they'll spend a lifetime of searching for something that doesn't exist except in their own minds and and some screenplay writer's.

Another unfortunate fact is many women are suckers for broken men with the idea of changing, improving, and nursing them back to health. They love the sheer agnoy of their misery.

You can blame your parents (who certainly are at fault but were broken themselves), friends (birds of a feather hang together), and your string of lovers, but the problem really lays deep inside of you (alas poor Yurick the fault lays not in the stars but in ourselves).

It will take several years of therapy to see what you need to do to change. I guess if the drunk can get clean and sober, there is hope; however, the percentage is small who do.

The Eagle
 fancynanci
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 230
view profile
History
why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 3/7/2008 1:33:03 PM
I don't love them....but then I'm not "most women."
 Love_on_Fire
Joined: 11/18/2007
Msg: 235
view profile
History
why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 3/7/2008 4:50:44 PM
I dunno....maybe because you that do also are a$$holes too??... there is a saying that "it takes one to like one", and that goes for many character qualities and characteristics. Interesting question, but like always, the answers are found within THEE

 tam879
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 236
view profile
History
why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 3/7/2008 4:51:32 PM
I think that I`m an A`hole. I`m 59 and she is 52 we had a relationship for 14 months Sept/06 t0 Nov16/07. She broke up with me because she wanted someone who would jump onto new things and not be reluctant or hesitant to do these things. Many times she would suggest and have ideas to do things and I didn`t. To make a long story short I thought everything was okay and then long weekend in Nov. rememberance day for the vets was the weekend that I think I killed my relationship. Although she said I didn`t do anything I know that I had done something . Tell me if your guys laid on the couch and drifted off to sleep and then got up and without a word go to bed and basically repeat the that same senario the next day in the evening and just go straight to be without even a word or kiss etc would you breakup with him? That`s why I think of myself as the A`hole. Couple of e-mails from her she says that her feelings for me are not strong enough to carrying on and to even live together. Yet 3 weeks earlier in Oct. she asked me about moving in. I of course wanted time to think about it. We owned our own homes and she lives on the other side of the city. I am still hurting for her and I am just so tempted to phone or go by her place. But better judgement prevents me from doing such a thing. Yes I am an A`hole for losing such a wonderful person. We did lots of things together and now I am missing them and her .
 tam879
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 237
view profile
History
why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 3/7/2008 4:52:19 PM
I think that I`m an A`hole. I`m 59 and she is 52 we had a relationship for 14 months Sept/06 t0 Nov16/07. She broke up with me because she wanted someone who would jump onto new things and not be reluctant or hesitant to do these things. Many times she would suggest and have ideas to do things and I didn`t. To make a long story short I thought everything was okay and then long weekend in Nov. rememberance day for the vets was the weekend that I think I killed my relationship. Although she said I didn`t do anything I know that I had done something . Tell me if your guys laid on the couch and drifted off to sleep and then got up and without a word go to bed and basically repeat the that same senario the next day in the evening and just go straight to be without even a word or kiss etc would you breakup with him? That`s why I think of myself as the A`hole. Couple of e-mails from her she says that her feelings for me are not strong enough to carrying on and to even live together. Yet 3 weeks earlier in Oct. she asked me about moving in. I of course wanted time to think about it. We owned our own homes and she lives on the other side of the city. I am still hurting for her and I am just so tempted to phone or go by her place. But better judgement prevents me from doing such a thing. Yes I am an A`hole for losing such a wonderful person. We did lots of things together and now I am missing them and her .
 TitusBreast
Joined: 3/18/2007
Msg: 240
why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 3/7/2008 11:08:42 PM
I can't stand a$$holes...there's no shortage of them. I'm sorry you're a magnet for them. It's alright...you'll get tired of them eventually and find a much better man...when you're NOT looking. Love, Titus
 vivaciousvixen2
Joined: 3/1/2008
Msg: 242
why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 3/7/2008 11:32:58 PM
i know that when i used to drink that i was caught in a negative pattern. it sounds to me, like you have a substance abuse problem~ maybe drink too much? mayber go to a reahabilitation center for a 12 step program
or possibly suffer from depression or bipolar and need to see a psychiatrist and a therapist to get unstuck from this behaviorial pattern
usually when a woman is stuck on a bad man there is a reason behind it, and that pattern needs to be broken.
there are women's abuse groups which will offer counselling also.
YOU NEED TO WANT TO CHANGE.
 Love_on_Fire
Joined: 11/18/2007
Msg: 244
view profile
History
why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 3/8/2008 4:45:38 AM
I personally beleive that it may also be some sort of an illness or disorder. I mean if you think about all the different conditions we have medical names for and that people classify, I think this one may be put somewhere there. It's not too different from someone who keeps trying the same thing over and over again trying to achieve a goal and they never succed, but they keep trying thinking that it will change. I think there is a term for that lol. This may be some sort of an obsession, and maybe even uhmm I dunno insanity? No different then an alcoholic knowing that he or she has a drinking problem, and that it's not good for them, but they drink nontheless thinking it alone will heal things when in fact it is the very thing that is primarily responsible for their problem. The only difference is, atleast with an alcoholic or a drug addict, they do have legitamite excuses for continuing their drinking or drug taking, as it is an addiction and much harder to overcome because it does effect the brain chemistry over time. But here, with liking "***holes", one would think that this would be way more controllable and therefore there is less excuse for this then their would be for alchohol or drug addictions. But thats not saying that this "liking" of "***holes" is not a sickness also, because I beleive it is. Again assuming we understand what one means by the term "***hole". I'm not talking about the assertive guy, who can be tough, and stands up for what he beleives and is strong minded and may play fire with fire sometimes if neccessary, but is essentially a good person....I mean I am like that, and I don't beleive there is anything wrong with that as long as it is controlled and channeled in the right way.

By ***hole, (atleast to me) I am thinking of a real jerk who is just not a good guy or person to be around, they are selfish, self-centered, think they are better then others, narcissistic etc.

Also another thing, as some posters have mentioned, it's not fair to say "most women", as we don't know that and it is unfair to assume that, because that may be getting too generalizing.
 aprincelyfrog
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 246
why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 3/31/2008 8:22:59 PM
Because you haven't grown up yet!

if (thread == old) die;
 Ravenstar66
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 249
view profile
History
why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 4/25/2008 11:16:19 AM
Because SOME women mistake self-centeredness, c0ckiness and sociopathy for self-confidence, especially when younger and less experienced.

But we CAN and DO learn.

There is the "challenge" aspect also... it's intriguing when a guy doesn't fall all over us, because it's DIFFERENT. Being used to attention and yes, sometimes being catered to incessantly, it's a mystery why THAT GUY OVER THERE is acting differently than ALL THOSE OTHER GUYS. It's like a good mystery novel.. gotta figure it out before you can put it down.. unfortunately getting burned before figuring it out that he's just a selfish jerk who thinks he's "ALL THAT".

JMHO.. and observation
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 256
why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 10/8/2010 3:11:08 PM
The only time I've ever been called/considered an ***hole is when I don't do what a woman wants/expects me to do...

its virtually always when I'm exiting a relationship...suddenly I'm an ***hole.

why? because I no longer care to put up with her BS...

which means- "I no longer care"

so guys that are being ***holes to you- he does not CARE about you....no matter what you think or feel...


if a guy actually cared about you, trust me- he wouldn't be an ***hole to you....

so stop trying to cleave yourself to men that do not care about you....because they are ***holes...


and just because he will sleep with you does not mean he cares about you...if you're willing to give it up to him...most men will not turn it down...
 jezebellpgh
Joined: 2/3/2010
Msg: 261
why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 10/10/2010 8:02:44 PM
Anita:

Don't speak for all women. I steer clear of a**hole men even if they are just friend material.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 268
why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 12/12/2010 8:24:48 PM

I can't speak for any other woman. But I am not interested in ***holes.


that's not fair to not give a guy a chance...even an ***hole...i mean, he could be the love of your life?
 theforumfiend
Joined: 10/21/2007
Msg: 269
why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 12/12/2010 9:43:36 PM
I could be wrong, but maybe subconsciously they think it's better to date someone that is openly an azzhole than the azzhole that just thinks he's a nice guy.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 272
why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 12/13/2010 12:54:36 PM

That's funny. I was getting the impression more and more people were referring to you as an ***hole immediately after reading one of your posts.

I could be wrong of course but not likely



 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 273
view profile
History
why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 12/13/2010 1:39:17 PM
Women love ***holes because they display alpha male traits. Confidence, lack of concern for other's opinions, willingness to go against other people's desires to follow their own desires (which can be easily mistaken for leadership behavior), etc.. Simple, really.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 275
why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 12/13/2010 2:28:50 PM

Women love ***holes because they display alpha male traits. Confidence, lack of concern for other's opinions, willingness to go against other people's desires to follow their own desires (which can be easily mistaken for leadership behavior), etc.. Simple, really.

I do love alpha males. I don't have any interest in ***holes, however.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 280
view profile
History
why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 12/22/2010 6:25:53 PM
Dang! I thought this was another thread about anal sex.

I bought a book years ago called Azzhole No More. It was about the disease of assholism. It started out with a list. "You might be an azzhole if . . . someone sent this book to you anonymously." Etc.

I don't know why people are azzholes. They must be miserable people. I stay away from them. Some women find them attractive, just like some men find b*tches attractive. They often have that "bad boy" allure and they often are very confident, which is attractive. I've occasionally found myself attracted to ***holes but fortunately I've had to good sense to stay away from them in spite of it.

When I'm stuck interacting with an azzhole I think, well, that was a drag for however long I was stuck with them but at least I only had to put up with them for a limited period of time. They have to live with themselves all the time. For them, there's no escape. Now, that's hell.

 Boon100
Joined: 8/31/2010
Msg: 282
why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 12/26/2010 2:46:07 PM
well, idk rly thats a good question. im a decent, really handsome and all around great guy but girls just walk by me as if im a wall. there loss but w/e.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 287
why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 12/29/2010 9:20:12 AM
Maybe some women fall in love with someone and then after
the guy knows he has her hooked, his real personality shines
through. By then she's in love and doesn't understand the shift
in character and believes there's something wrong with her. Maybe
she hangs around too long and by then she's totally convinced she's
an ***hole because everyone that knows this guy swears he's a great
guy.

Maybe then the mission becomes MAKE HIM LIKE ME AGAIN and
she forgets that he really doesn't like her anymore, she only remembers
the guy she fell in love with and wonders where he went.

Maybe women do this too...I don't know. I don't date women.

I think sometimes people fall in love with people as they see them, not
as they really are....and they figure if they hang around long enough they'll
magically change back. But what the heck do I know? Only that I'm not
attracted to ***holes.
 dawntreader10
Joined: 12/3/2010
Msg: 289
why do I (+ most women) love assholes??
Posted: 12/30/2010 4:52:12 AM
Ooooo, arwen52....AWEsome response.
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  >