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 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 1191
Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy?Page 14 of 48    (8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48)

If it was easy to find quality women in your "back yard", why are so many people on dating sites instead of hanging out with these women?
what do you consider quality women?


So when does a person finally deserve a quality date? After they've saved the world from an alien invasion? Why don't you tell people what they should be doing instead of just reiterating the point that being a good person doesn't win you any points in the dating scene. What reality should people be facing?
being a good person? are you that naive young man? look..... here's the reality kid, whether you go to a bar, a public place, grocery store or where ever you go to meet the opposite sex you must be confident, if you're not confident the chances of meeting someone of quality is really really low.

The problem is for most of these nice guys, who are average at best thinks they have the right to meet " hot " women while turning down women who are not "hot" or on the average side or heavy side and dismiss them ( those women) as you're not attracted to them,meanwhile the hot women are doing the same thing to you guys, most of you guys dont have the confidence, look at some of the guys out there that are with quality women, did they travel 3000 miles to find them? some of you guys that believes in International dating and thinks the foreign bride will love you for ever and ever and dont care about money and lifestyle well you're dreaming in technicolor.

In today's day and age, even if you marry her and she sits home and watches TV all day and surfs the net, she will soon figure out there is more to life than being some one sex slave etc.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 1194
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Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy?
Posted: 5/31/2011 7:13:24 PM
There are many aspects of a relationship that can be unbalanced. Whether it's looks, education....money. When there's a big imbalance, if both partners can't handle it, or handle the comments that others may say about it (she's so HOT, why is she with him?) then it's a potential death knoll.

I don't have a list, per se, there are imbalances I can handle and some I won't. Any imbalance will tend to magnify insecurities, doubt......resentment. There aren't many average looking guys that could SUCCESSFULLY be happy with a HOT girl. It is what it is, I call it reality.
 bucsgirl
Joined: 5/13/2006
Msg: 1197
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Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy?
Posted: 5/31/2011 7:54:03 PM
"'I'm not looking to date someone out of my league, just someone that I personally find attractive "

Cowboy gives good advice, I'll just add to what he said . I think what's most important, is when a person decides who's in or out of their "league". It takes precendence over what other people say, or maybe more correctly, the importance you place on who says someone's "out of your league". It was said with the assumption that your voice is the one you listen to first.

For me, I can't I've ever had the thought "he's out of my league", it could be someone making first contact who's really physically attractive...or any of the other aspects.

My experience has been, more often that I'd care to say, that I think "wow, what was this guy thinking when he wrote me?" It could be anything, and just getting XXX amount of emails isn't that great. I finally got to the point, that if considering a response, based on the email and a scan of the profile, if it's more than a few minutes, and I can't....then I just don't. It makes total sense...what if we met or talked? I have before, and it's uhh...ehh.

When I don't respond, it's because it's not someone I could EVER picture going out with and it's SOOO obvious, they never thought about that either. That I would consider meeting them.
 Cdn_Iceman
Joined: 12/1/2010
Msg: 1198
Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy?
Posted: 5/31/2011 8:41:34 PM

I agree that confidence definitely improves your chances, but I'd have to say most, if not all of my relationships came from being introduced to someone through friends or meeting someone at school. I suppose I gravitate toward internet dating because I'm not a super confident person. People always say: "LOL, just get confidence." It's not always that easy. Changing the nature of who you are can take a lifetime. I'm open to suggestions and I'm currently doing things to improve myself.
Things like taking a toast master course, a comedy writing course, dancing lessons, cooking lessons , join a martial art club is a start.

Its not about changing the nature of who you are, its about letting your balls drop after you get some confidence, I used to be like you in high school and it didnt get me anywhere, friendship zones, I was the shoulder to cry on when their boyfriends dump them ,stayed up all night with them only to have them go back to them or other guys, then one day I did exactly what I suggested you to do and things changed big time, confident yes, some thing c ocky not that I care what some folks thinks.


I think it's better to turn someone down than date them if you're not attracted to them. It's horrible to settle for someone and make them feel like you're sort-of into them. What are you gonna tell your children? "I met your unnattractive mother at the bar one cold and stormy night."
I'm not telling people to get mail order brides from Russia. I'm saying don't be afraid to travel or relocate if you find someone special. I'm friends with a lady on here that is fairly shy, and she met a man from Iowa, and is on vacation there right now visiting him. I do a lot of touring with music to different parts of Canada and sometimes other countries, so I'm open to meeting people outside of my city.
that's a bad attitude bud, a real shitty attitude, no one is saying you should date people that you find unattractive, but at the same time dont you think you're unattractive to them? we are not every one cup of tea, look at you for instance you have long hair, longer hair than most women, and most women dont find that appealing, but guess what??? some do, you have to find the ones that do, you being you is one thing, but dont be surprised if lots dont find you appealing , its a numbers game.

Look .... If you ask women on here, I'll bet you will find women that thinks Brad Pitt is hot, and I'm betting you will find women that thinks Brad Pitt isn't hot, beauty is in the eyes of beholder, one persons garbage is another person treasure.

Its good that you're open to meeting people from all over the place, but dont follow some guys advice that says Foreign women are better than North American women but he's strikes out more than a inbred hillbilly at a Nun's retreat at the Vatican
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 1202
Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy?
Posted: 6/1/2011 1:30:07 AM
^^^^^^ While, myself, being a big proponent of Dr.Laura's book "The proper care and feeding of husbands" I do not believe that all of the effort simply lies with the woman. I believe that if the man is a strong male the woman naturally feels more inclined to become more feminine.

Being a strong male means being able to lead the relationship in a non-oppressive way...and being able to control yourself as well...a part often overlooked by many self-proclaimed "manly men".

The true man has no need for "machismo", which is basically a scream for attention and a serious red flag shouting insecurity. Same thing with the "nice guy" ...serious red flag shouting out for acceptance.
 Here_In_Florida
Joined: 4/4/2011
Msg: 1204
Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy?
Posted: 6/1/2011 6:08:47 AM
This reminds me of a couple of profiles where the poster states, "I am looking for someone who is attractive, if you don't think you're attractive, chances are I will not either."

Considering this is an odd statement to begin with, attraction is purely in the eye of the beholder. So, let's say a guy who thinks he's attractive contacts this woman, well, chances are there is a possibility SHE might not think he's attractive.

So it doesn't make sense to make such a statement.
 SingleGuy4912
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 1205
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Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy?
Posted: 6/1/2011 6:37:48 AM
A lot of folks are clueless as to what league they're trying to play in. Markus should add a feature that allows the viewer to rate a profile's pics and content. That way, the profile owner can get feedback on why they're not getting any messages/responses. It would probably eliminate all the whining about why the 9's & 10's won't reply to 4's & 5's.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 1206
Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy?
Posted: 6/1/2011 12:44:32 PM
^^^^^^^There used to be a picture rating feature.

What I find messing up the profile rating feature would be that in very polarizing cases (like mine) I would be rated very high by 2% of the women (my type) and very very low by 98%...creating a very low average.

The profile thing would be more mindset oriented versus physical attraction oriented.
 tatjana25
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 1207
Who do you ask out?
Posted: 6/1/2011 3:21:58 PM
Most people date those who in the same realm of attractiveness.

Why would you date an average guy, if you can get the whole package? :S
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 1211
Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy?
Posted: 6/2/2011 9:58:00 AM
Oh my!
meaning absolutely no disrespect to either the Prof or jco-but do we have a little same-gender crush going on here, Prof?
To speak directly to the topic, I will add my opinion to those who say that hot girls(and men) are going to date one another. Just because a man or woman is "hot" does not automatically mean that they have an unattractive or unpleasant personality, poor character,etc. Just because a guy or gal is "average" doesn't mean that their personalities and character traits are shining beacons of excellence.
For myself, I cannot imagine why anyone would want to be in an ongoing dating or relationship situation with someone that they essentially had to beg for "a chance" from?
I WISH I could just shake my head at the "ridiculous" idea of average males clinging onto a tenuous "ass-kissing" involvement with a hot girl, even if looks is the ONLY thing she has going for her, but even though it may seem to me to be "ridiculous", I see enough of it to know that it happens a lot.
I guess average men really would rather cling by their fingertips to a marginal involvement with a hot girl, than to have a balanced and mutual relationship with an average girl. Until the hot girl does him dirt, then he can enjoy anger at ALL women, cause he got, metaphorically speaking, dumped by a horse that was too much for him.
If the ride had truly been worth the fall( and sometimes that does happen with both genders) there would not be a residual anger,would there?
Cindy O
 Casper66
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 1212
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Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy?
Posted: 6/2/2011 10:28:32 AM
Whenever I hear this about hot girls it always gives me the impression that the person doesn't really care about the person's personality and qualities asmuch as their looks, like some trophy they can parade around saying look what I can get to boost their self-esteem with little regard to who the person really is inside. I've also seen people take alot of crap just because the person was really attractive, then complain how they were treated badly. The only thing I'm concerned about is finding someone I'm attracted too since looks are subjective and that they are compatible personality wise, thats why I look for those that have similar value beliefs and interests.
 Changing_Skies
Joined: 8/7/2010
Msg: 1215
Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy?
Posted: 6/4/2011 7:50:04 AM
The better question is why do average looking guys want hot girls while overlooking the average looking girl?

There you have your answer.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 1216
Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy?
Posted: 6/4/2011 1:59:49 PM

Most people date those who in the same realm of attractiveness.


I regularly date women outside of my realm...in both directions...fairly evenly.

I think it happens more than people realize... I tend not to date anyone i haven't known for several months first though. I have noticed that hot girls who initially don't find me attractive at first begin to start seeing me different after getting to know me and I do the same with some women. I will admit though that the less attractive women tended to offer NSA....some have become girlfriends, others FWB and others....well lets just say nothing became of it.


You seem more of a "mans man" to me! hehe.. But thats opinion I suppose...


If by "man's man", you mean the kind that other men look up to...yes, that happens sometimes.
If you're implying that I appeal to homosexuals, well that has happened quite often too...especially while I was in the military.
If you're implying that I AM a homosexual, well...sorry to disappoint you...I'm not.
....I am in no way homophobic, annoyed or disgusted by them though. If that's their thing, let them have at it...I'd prefer not to have to see it in public, but then I don't want to see too much PDA from anyone.


Oh my!
meaning absolutely no disrespect to either the Prof or jco-but do we have a little same-gender crush going on here, Prof?


Meh, it happens... it doesn't bother me as long as they don't bother me.


Whenever I hear this about hot girls it always gives me the impression that the person doesn't really care about the person's personality and qualities as much as their looks, like some trophy they can parade around saying look what I can get to boost their self-esteem with little regard to who the person really is inside.


I often get accused of that by people who don't know me well...Like I said above I tend to only date after getting to know them well, sometimes I'm surprised that a girl gets interested and sometimes I've surprised a girl by BEING interested.


As to the OT, I think that the title question itself indicates that the OP is being shallow about things...because they DO give average guys a chance, if said guy takes the time to get to know them for WHO they are and not what they LOOK like.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 1217
Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy?
Posted: 6/4/2011 2:06:15 PM
Why would anyone settle for dog food when they can get a nice juicy steak?
 Casper66
Joined: 3/2/2007
Msg: 1218
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Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy?
Posted: 6/4/2011 3:37:42 PM
Message 1216, I have to agree, some of my longest relationships happened when I knew the guy for awhile as a friend, we got to know each other then started dating. Perhaps that is the problem for alot of people dating nowadays they don't want to take the time to get to know each other, but then we do live in a society that promotes instant gratification, so now we are seeing that behaviour in dating.
 sand_water
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 1221
Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy?
Posted: 6/6/2011 1:05:39 PM
Perhaps many or even most hot women wouldn't date an average looking man. However some would if a man was able to compensate for his relative lack of looks with something else. Whether it's personality, money, power etc.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 1222
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Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy?
Posted: 6/6/2011 2:01:45 PM
^^^ You're coming very close to quoting from the "ladder theory". Which always gives me a laugh.
 sweetest
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 1223
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Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy?
Posted: 6/6/2011 2:53:39 PM

A lot of folks are clueless as to what league they're trying to play in.

^^^I don't tend to buy that. I think that a lot of people are clued in but perhaps unaccepting.

Most of us have had years of 'functioning' socially where we're 'at'. And most by thirty at least have more than a cursory understanding about their particular attractiveness quotient simply by going through high-school, and certainly if not then, by going to college and university.

For whatever reason, not everyone can accept particular personal 'realities' and within a fast-paced 'quick-glance' marketplace environment like POF: a place where the 'highly desired and universally coveted' will always have ample choices...

The reality is that this interface for meeting for the purposes of dating may not work equally well for all those who may want to ante up. Part of being successful here is understanding your particular cachet is and knowing how, when and what else to bring to the table.
 OzzGirl22
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 1225
Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy?
Posted: 6/10/2011 2:30:32 PM
I agree. You have to look at the whole package. Looks, personality, self esteem, integrity all add up to whether the person is attractive or not to me.
And, I have found that confidence is extremely sexy and attractive.
 LaDBug
Joined: 5/18/2011
Msg: 1226
Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy?
Posted: 6/10/2011 5:26:27 PM
I've dated "average" (whatever that means) looking guys with average incomes who are amazing in many ways and I have dated gorgeous men who were shallow. I don't think it's fair to throw stones at us "hot" girls. We are not all shallow. I think that there are just shallow people and that includes average looking guys. Perhaps it is you who is not giving the hot girls a fair shake and the fact that you are bitter is probably evident.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 1227
Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy?
Posted: 6/10/2011 5:55:34 PM

I don't think it's fair to throw stones at us "hot" girls.


...But then HOT is quite subjective now, isn't it?
 GreenEyedSusan1
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 1228
Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy?
Posted: 6/10/2011 9:38:28 PM
In your case, jco415... yes.
 gengen2
Joined: 1/3/2011
Msg: 1229
Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy?
Posted: 6/10/2011 9:59:57 PM
because when a person is online, all we really have to go off of are pictures. i read a lot of profiles, even of some guys i'm not attracted to, just out of curiosity... but won't message the guy because I'm just not attracted. However, if i met an average guy out in public by chance, and we got to talking he could win me over with his personality and charm..... BUT the chemistry and attraction still must be there. when i meet someone, the question i ask myself (as to whether i want to see the guy again or not) is, "can i imagine getting it on with this guy?" ... if the answer is no, then i don't want another date. Cause if it gets to the point where i marry a dude and we are hating each other, i want to still look at him and feel attracted. looks aren't everything, no.... but it IS important.

Another reason: i work hard to look good, i work out 5 days a week, eat vegetables that i don't particularly enjoy eating, i make the time and effort to have a beautiful, sexy looking body. So of course i expect the same in a prospective mate. Plus, working out and health/fitness is an interest of mine, a way of life... so someone who shares that interest attracts me even more to them.

Another reason: Genetics. Beauty and intelligence are genetic. I want more kids and am genetically programmed to choose the better looking guy, the stronger guy, the smarter guy, the more successful guy.... it is human nature. Just like men are programmed to choose the most beautiful woman with child bearing hips, who looks fertile. It's nature. That coupled with pheromones is how we choose mates. Nowadays, since there are so many choices for everybody and women can make their own money.... women can be even more picky about our mates.

i'll just stop here.
 Penpal46
Joined: 6/5/2011
Msg: 1230
Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy?
Posted: 6/11/2011 6:11:36 PM
How about because "average" guys don't have the confidence. I've had men tell me they would Never ask me out because they would be too scared to be turned down!



Really guys? News flash! Hot women sit alone too. We get rejected too. And we have feelings too. "Nothing ventured nothing gained " You understand that right?
 DoubleParked
Joined: 10/22/2008
Msg: 1231
Why do hot girls never give a chance to an average looking guy?
Posted: 6/11/2011 6:21:54 PM
Exactly right! ^^^Why don't those 'average joes' give us hot women a second glance? Man up, you never know who might say YES!
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